Before I Fall
by glorymania
Summary: Paige and Emily meets again two summers after their breakup. This is about "the one that got away". What happened? Why did they break up? How will they deal with seeing each other again? Will she let her get away once more? Read to find out! AU College - Emily and Paige.
1. Chapter 1

As my right arm glided through the water with one last stroke, I felt the wall at the tip of my fingers and finally, my hand palmed the concrete surface. My head surfaced out of the water and I felt the cheers erupting from the crowd in the stands piercing my ears. I looked up to find the warmest pair of brown eyes smiling at me with so much pride and adoration.

"You did it, Paige! We won the 400-meter relay! We did it!" exclaimed Emily.

I couldn't help but become affected by her excitement and I kicked off the wall to attempt an underwater summersault. I did it! My arm stretched out for a fist pump in the water and I started kicking my legs to rise towards the surface. When I resurfaced, I felt myself being pulled out of the water by a pair of strong arms and was engulfed in an unexpected embrace. The scent of lavender filled my nostrils and I felt myself become a little lightheaded with the intoxicating smell. I knew right away that I was in Emily's arms the moment I recognized her signature smell. God, she smelt so good. I could barely breathe.

"Em…ily" I managed to choke out. She pulled back but still kept me at arm's length, eyes filled with concerned by my weak tone, "What? What is it? Is everything all right? Are you okay?" as she looked me up and down looking for any possible wound on my body.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I just wanted to…" and my eyes zeroed in on her luscious lips after I let them wander around her beautiful face. The chants and screams around us fell upon deaf ears. As the world fell silent around us, I felt nervous all of a sudden and I shifted my gaze back up to where her brown eyes were as I felt an influx of blood flow starting from the tips of my toe make their way up to my cheeks.

"…Breathe." I finally let out and then chuckled softly.

A wide smile slowly crept onto her lips and she tugged on my arms to pull me into another tight hug. I wrapped my arms around her waist and reciprocated with as much love and affection that I felt for her. She pulled back a bit and I felt her breath on my left ear before I caught her soft whisper, "Did I take your breath away again?" and smiled with one of her winning smiles.

I rolled my eyes and gave her a soft peck on her left cheek before I stepped back. Suddenly, our bodies were pressed against one another again and I realized that we were caught in the middle of a group hug. They chanted, cheered, and yelled our school's mascot, "Sharks! Sharks! Sharks!" I looked out into the stands to see my parents laughing with Emily's mom and pointing at us. I looked over to Emily to catch her staring at me and as I was about to pull her in for a kiss to complete this wondrous day, everything around us disappeared.

Simultaneously, I felt the ground beneath me melt away, as were my feet and slowly the throbbing pain centered in between my chest and stomach. The pain jolted me out of my reverie and back to the realm of reality. For a moment there, I felt blinded by an intense force of energy from the sun but as my closed eyes adjusted to the luminous light, a dark shadow loomed over me and I vaguely heard a voice murmur incoherent words.

"Paige! Paige, can you hear me?! Someone bring me a cup of water!" I heard the voice yelled once again but more decipherable this time around.

Arms encircled me once again, and I could only hope they were the arms of the angel in my dream. Where was I? Where is that pain coming from? Why do these arms feels leaner and tender? I tried to open my eyes and slowly as I did, I was so glad that whoever was holding me up in this half-laying and half-sitting position on the ground was hiding me away from the sun. The pain was still present in the midsection of my body and I still did not understand why. My eyes opened wider now and I tried to focus my vision as a blurry face appeared within sight.

Finally, the face that was up-close to mine came into focus and I saw a wave of relief passed through her expression.

"Hi," I managed to get out after the immediate recognition of who was holding me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you everyone who's following this story and reviewing! I didn't think I'd actually get any feedback for this. I'm trying to write a slow pace story to build up the story nicely, so bear with me, all right? :) **** All constructive criticisms and suggestions/ideas are welcome and appreciated!**

TheShawmeister: Thanks for reading and the encouragement! :)

* * *

**Emily's POV**

"Sorry I'm late, but I got held back in math class because Dr. Henderson persisted in rambling on and on about his daughter, Liza, and how she's doing at Syracuse University in New York." I said all in one breath without stopping.

"It's okay, Em, relax. Do you want anything to eat or drink?" Spencer asked as I pulled out the chair across from her. I begin to reach into my bag and got my wallet before responding, "Yeah, I'll be right back, Spence."

I got up and headed inside the café over to the coffee bar to stand in line. My eyes wander around the café and they finally landed on the dry curved bakery glass display case of all the pastries the café currently has available. As I scanned the various sweets in the glass display case, I finally decided to settle on the blueberry muffin and the oatmeal raisin cookie that was one rack beneath it. Content with my choices, I finally relaxed and noticed the tune that was playing in the café.

_My heart is full and my door's always open_

_You can come anytime you want,_

_I don't mind spending everyday,_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain,_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile,_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile,_

_And she will be loved,_

_And she will be loved,_

_And she will be loved,_

"_She will be loved…_" I sigh hopelessly. For some reason, I suddenly wanted to forget those words as the lyrics continued to pour out into the room, but then I felt a pat on the side of my left thigh and quickly turned around to see whose hand it belonged to. I frantically searched to see who it was and couldn't find anyone until I looked down to see a pair of beautiful emerald eyes staring right back at me.

"It's your turn," the little boy spoke softly as he pointed to the barista standing at the counter waiting for me.

"Thank you, sweetie. Do you want to go first?" I asked him.

He shyly shook his head back and forth before saying, "Mommy told me to wait in line until it's my turn."

"Alrighty, I'll be quick so it'll be your turn next, okay?"

He nodded timorously and I made my way to the front of the counter.

"Hi, what can I get for you today?" the barista put forward.

"Hi! Um, can I have an iced medium soy latte and a blueberry muffin for here please?" I asked politely.

The barista cheekily grin my way and he continued, "Will that be all for you today?" I then simply nodded and returned a smile. I paid and was about to leave with my drink and muffin in hand when I heard "Hey Miss! You forgot your receipt." I turned around and look at the piece of paper he slid across the counter. I thought he already gave me one earlier? I was scarlet from embarrassment as I saw a phone number scrawled on the paper with his name written on it after I picked it up. I looked up to find him staring at me blatantly with a hopeful smile, but I saw it falter as I slid the paper across the counter back to him and said, "That's really flattering, really, but I play for the other team." I threw in an apologetic smile at the end of my line and tried to pay no heed to his unhinged jaw as I turned around to leave. Before I walked back to the table Spencer's sitting at, I crouched down to be at eye level with the little boy and rested my hand on the back of his head to get his attention. I felt the soft curls of his brown hair and smiled inwardly at how beautiful all the little things in life were. "It was really nice meeting you…Emerald, can I call you that? You have one of the loveliest pairs of eyes I've ever seen in my life." He smiled sweetly and said, "My mommy also calls me that…and you have pretty eyes too…so can I call you Pretty?" My eyes widened and my smile grew wider at how sweet this little boy was. "That's really sweet, but you can call me Emily. I hope I'll see you again sometime, Emerald. You go have a good day, all right?" He nodded with less timidity this time around and I stood up to go back outside to my table.

"That took you a while, Em." Spencer remarked just as I sat my drink and muffin down on the table. "Yeah, sorry, got caught up with all the variety of sweets they have over there." I tried to explain. Spencer looked at me inquisitively and then tilted her head a little to the left, but whatever she was thinking, she had no intention to verbalize it.

"Alright, what is it? Just spill it, Spencer." I demanded unassertively.

"Nothing, it's just…" she trailed off.

"Just what?" I inquired impatiently.

"Nothing. So, how was the rest of your day besides having to sit through the lecture about your teacher's daughter?" She chuckled and then continued, "Have you even seen what she looks like?" Spencer had such a talent to change the topic effortlessly even though it never escapes my awareness whenever she does it.

"No, I don't know how she looks like, but that truly doesn't concern me anyways. Nothing I did today fell out of my usual routine. Woke up at 5am, headed over to the natatorium for the 3-hour swim practice, went back to the dorms to shower, went to all my classes, and now I'm here with you. How was your final week of school at Princeton last week? I'm so glad that summer break is coming up in two weeks. Then I'll get to go home and join you, Hanna, and Aria in Rosewood soon."

Spencer smirked, "Well, aren't we a little overexcited for summer to arrive and for you to anticipate going back home this time around, Miss I-Don't-Want-To-Leave-School-To-Go-Home for the past two years? Finals were a pain and I swear, I had an excessively unhealthy amount of coffee last week, hence why I'm only have a cup of iced tea right now. We all miss you back at home, Em. We can't wait until you're back in Rosewood. I got a little eager and couldn't wait for another two weeks for us to be reunited, and I also wanted to see how you're doing, so I drove here to see you. Aria and Hanna are going to go nuts and snap at me once they find out I came here alone without letting them tag along." I threw my head back and laughed like a little kid at how some things never changing between the four of us.

"I've missed you girls and home, but you should already know that it was a desideratum for me to be out here on my own too. I needed a new change in scenery. I'm glad you came out here, Spence." I smiled one of my affectionate smiles at her that was only reserved for the people I love. She knew me best of the three girls. Spencer's never telepathic when it comes to people, but I was her exemption and I'm really grateful for that at times like these.

We chattered on and shared stories of how we were holding out the fort on our own at different schools and away from home, new friends we made, places we've been to, and reminisced on the good times back in Rosewood when we were in high school.

I almost forgot how wonderful these languid days in the sun were, and sitting here with Spencer, I can nearly feel summer slowly creeping under my skin.


	3. Chapter 3

**Enjoy! :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars**

* * *

**Paige's POV**

"You know, I'll never understand why you enjoy being tackled to the ground so much," Sammie joked as she begins laughing after her furrowed brows finished unknotting from earlier.

"Hey! Someone's got to keep this game fun, right? And I suppose you've all decided that I would be the figure of fun here," I said trying to sound as enthusiastic as I possibly can.

I started to become aware of the grass beneath me poking at the exposed skin on the back of my leg. So that was a dream after all. Darn. It all felt so very…honest-to-God real. I wonder who knocked me down earlier that really zonked me out. We were playing co-ed college intramural flag football at Penn Park on University of Pennsylvania's ground. Sammie here is my best friend and has been since we dorm together during our first year at U Penn. I came here on a women's athletic scholarship for swimming and Sammie was, well, here to study Economics and she's pre-law too so we get along in more ways than one. In addition to that, I was totally caught off guard with how athletic she was when she cogently got me to yield to her proposal about joining our school's intramural sports program with her. I'm so grateful to her for that though because apart from swimming, I've really gotten into flag football and soccer in the past two years. Aside from Sammie, I've also become close friends with two other girls on my swim team, Annika and Kylie, and Dan from a sociology class we took together during the first semester of college. Samantha Akers and Paige McCullers, the dynamic duos, were inseparable as they all say, and I guess that statement is valid on some level because we're housemates but I still consider Dan, Annika, and Kylie in our little tight-kit group as well.

My attention snapped back to Sammie as she started waving a hand back and forth in front of my face, "What?" I asked.

"Sweets, you were zoning out there and I thought I lost you again. You okay? Can you stand up? I'll knock Charley out for you in the next play!" she belted out animatedly as she jumped up and dropped me as I found myself lying plank-like on the grass.

"Ow! Gosh Sammie, couldn't you have been more gentle?" I asked as I sat up slowly and rubbed my upper abdominal muscles to ease the pain that was going away bit by bit.

"Whoops!" she said and dropped down to help me stand up. "All right, are you okay to continue, Tiger?" I lifted up my left hand with only an index finger as my other fingers curled into my palm, "Yeah, give me a second. So it was Charley, huh? I'm SO getting him back for that one! Why didn't anybody give me the forewarnings of his beastly size running into me? Knocked the wind out of me!" I exclaimed almost seeming like a lunatic.

"Whoa there! Simmer down hotshot, we didn't see that one coming either. Come on, let's get back to our positions!" Sammie backed up with both hands rose in the air and began jogging back to the center of the field.

I sighed and launched into a light jog after her. I'm totally getting Charley back for that.

I'm going to miss this when I start packing to go back to Rosewood in two days. Fortunately, Sammie will be joining me for three weeks before she heads back to California to join her family and boyfriend, Jem, for the rest of summer. I'm going to miss her when she leaves. I already miss her right now, because after meeting her during our freshmen year, everything in Rosewood that kept me lost and utterly undone when I first got here was beyond recall. She was the best kind of friend I've ever had in my entire short life and I'm so glad that she's in my life right now. Even though there's the thought of a certain person in the back of my mind, I decided not to think about it too much and let my thoughts rest in the present where I'm enjoying my quality time playing flag football with my best friend.

* * *

"You sure know how to go hard in the paint after that fall, girl! Sammie said as we were walking back to our apartment.

"Hey, I was just trying to get Charley back for tackling me to the ground earlier. 20-8 is actually not that bad," I smiled triumphantly as we fell into step with each other.

"So, are you excited to go back to Rosewood? I mean, you should be but are you?" she inquired.

I thought about it for a second. Rosewood. Small town. Childhood memories. Where my swimming career started. Em… No. Well, yeah. Her.

"You okay, love?"

"Yeah, I'm okay…just, you know…Em" my voice fell to a whisper at her name.

Sammie stopped walking and pulled onto my arm to halt my step as well. I turned around and she began mulling over what to say, "That was a little over two years ago Paige, and you're okay now. Things have changed and you have changed. Chances are she won't be in Rosewood since you mentioned that she hasn't returned to Rosewood in the past two years for holiday breaks."

Sammie's right. She always is, but I couldn't help and continued, "But what if she's going to show up this summer? What if she's actually in Rosewood? What if we both bump into each other? I don't know…"

"Look, even if she does show up in Rosewood and you do bump into her because of the likelihood that you will in a small town like that, everything between you two happened a long time ago and what's past is past. You've moved onto better things. You're even more beautiful now than when I first met you our freshmen year. You've grown stronger, kinder, wiser, and humbler. I'm not just saying this because you're my best friend. You're on top of the world right now and you have no reason to feel bad about yourself, all right? Especially when it comes to this girl I've never met but whatever that happened, it's in the past. I will be there with you for the first three weeks anyways, so I'll step in for you if you ever need me to be there. Whatever happens afterwards though, I know that you can deal with it but if you ever need me I'm just a phone call away, sweetie."

I took a deep breath before I spilled my guts, "And I'm always here for you too, Samantha. Thank you for being in my life. I don't know what I'd do without you. I know it's been a while, but I still…feel so much when I think about seeing her again. I don't know what I would do if we ever met again. I don't even want to think about that, even though I still think about her every once in a while wondering how she's doing and if she's happy. She was my first love…" I said the last part without sounding so sad but it did not escape Sammie's attention because she suddenly pulled me in for a hug. I wrapped my arms around her and tightened them to pull her closer as I lean my head on her shoulder. She rubbed my back to soothe me and whispered, "I know that. You still love her, but maybe it's a different kind of love. It's normal to still care about someone you once love in that way. I just want you to be happy, Paige. That's all I've ever wanted for you. What I wish you wanted for yourself after all this time. As long as you are happy, that's all that matters."

We stood there in one place holding onto each other like our lives depended on it; more like my life depended on it. Sammie was always the one with rationales and more clear-headed between the both of us. We finally let go of each other and one of us finally spoke, "Alright, let's go have a good night rest and start packing tomorrow morning. Then we can go enjoy this college town for a little longer before we drive back to Rosewood, what do you say?" Sammie's eyes twinkled as she smiled.

"That sounds great. You pack, I'll watch. Okay? Deal!" I smirked and started running towards our apartment complex.

"Hey!" she shouted from behind me, but I knew that she would laugh it off before giving a chase after me.

_Emily could only run away from Rosewood for so long, but for how long?_

I could ask myself the same question regarding Emily, but I really don't know how long I can keep running. Then there's the other question.

What if I was never running away from the start?

_What if I was always here waiting?_


	4. Chapter 4

**ov4arenko: Well, we're getting there but sit tight because it will happen soon! Thanks for reviewing! :)**

**kennedy smed: Thank you! I'm glad that you like Sammie because I think that she's good for Paige. I'd like to think we all have someone like that; someone we can go to for anything and they'll just want happiness for us in the end no matter what it is. **

**As for the rest of you followers and new readers, I hope you've enjoyed this story too. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

This school year is finally over. I'm beginning to finish packaging all of my boxes with everything in my dorm from clothes to books and picture frames. My room with the single bed and a desk now looks so bleak and empty. After tearing down the posters, cards and letters from the girls, and pictures off the wall, I started to feel a bit sentimental about this place. I won't be coming back to dorm here any more now that the semester's come to an end because U Penn has given me an athletic scholarship offer to join the Women's Division I Swimming & Diving team at their school…and I've decided to transfer there starting next term in fall. It seems like a wise choice. It's not an everyday thing where you're given this opportunity to attend U Penn, and after giving it a lot of consideration, I made up my mind that it was the most beneficial possible course of action for me. I had given Coach Blair a call to accept their generous offer two weeks ago after my evening with Spencer at the café. Something about that evening with Spencer had made it easier for me to make that commitment. It's not as though I'm leaving much behind here at Danby, because nothing and nobody here ever grew on me, and the only thing that ever kept me going was swimming basically. I had a decent time here, but I think that U Penn will offer me more incentives as a prospective student athlete. Also, it's in Philadelphia, and that's about an hour and a half away from Rosewood in comparison to the three hours from Rosewood to Danby. It'd be nice to be closer to home. I've been sitting on that decision for a while now and have yet to tell anybody about my plans. I will surely tell everyone by the end of summer though, but for now I'll just keep it as a surprise until then.

I decided to take one last look at my room and then carried the last of the boxes out to my car. After returning the dorm key, I began my three-hour drive back to Rosewood with all of my belongings.

* * *

I couldn't help but think of the one person that's been creeping into my thoughts after I've been offered the scholarship from U Penn two months earlier. I know she's been going there for two years. I hear that she still returns to Rosewood for the holidays, but that's pretty much it. I wonder how she'll take the news when she finds out we'll be on the same swim team again. Maybe she doesn't think of me any more and won't even give it another thought. I think I've become just another passerby in her life.

I haven't dated anyone since her. After our fallout, I didn't think I could ever invest my heart in a relationship with another person. I just couldn't.

The girls would always ask me about my (nonexistent) love life whenever they could sneak a question or two into our conversations, and I suppose I may have misled them into thinking I was interested in some girls over the past years; like the girl that invited me to a house party, the cute librarian that takes a little longer to help me check out my books, or the team mate who constantly ask me for tips to perfect her strokes. I did it with all good intentions though, because, how was I supposed to tell them that I'm still trying to cope with the enduring pain from the sad tragic end, between Paige and I, a little over two years ago? I don't want to be dubbed as the weakest link once again. I didn't want anybody to know about my inability to cope with that situation two years ago, and although the girls didn't buy my brave front back then, they do now, and I certainly don't want them to know about it at this moment in time.

In spite of the fact that we've all grown and changed in the past two years when we were all apart from each other for very long lengths of time, we're still as close as we ever were before and there are some things that never really changes between the four of us.

Aria is currently attending Hollis and majoring in English like she always said she would in high school. She's also taking art class on the side because she is really passionate about it and it wasn't something that she could just let up in the end. She's still dating Ezra from the last time I heard of her a week ago when we were both talking on the phone. Speaking of couples, Hanna is still with Caleb and they both attend Hollis as well. Hanna is studying interior design and –

My phone alert snapped me out of my thoughts and I reached over to see that Hanna has sent out a group text to Spencer, Aria, and me. I guess she wanted to keep Spencer and Aria in the loop of our conversation too. How interesting.

_**Hanna:**__ Em, where are you at right now? :)_

_**Me:**__ In Abington. About an hour and fifteen minutes away from Rosewood. xoxo_

_**Hanna:**__ Yay! You're almost here! I've got SO many things to fill you in on. You're going to FREAK!_

_**Me:**__ I'm sure you do. ;) If I remember correctly, you think that almost everything's outrageous and newsworthy. xoxo_

_**Aria:**__ You're right Em don't listen to her. She just got released from the nuthouse. _

_**Spencer:**__ I second that! :) Do you need help unpacking when you get here? We'll all be coming over to see you anyways. _

_**Hanna:**__ HEY I'm still here you know! :( You will NOT believe who's in town!_

_**Spencer:**__ Hanna! Stop gossiping and let Emily drive! _

_**Me:**__ Hey girls, I'm really glad that you're coming over but you really don't need to help me unpack. Seeing us all together again will be enough. Spencer's right, I should focus on the road. I'll be there in about an hour or so. I'll see you all then! ;) _

I touched the send button on my phone as I finished typing out the last text message. Who was Hanna talking about? Would it happen to be who I think it was? I shook my head trying to empty my thoughts of her again, as if by doing that it would actually work. I sighed and stepped onto the accelerator with a little more force as I sped down the highway within speed's limit. I can't wait to see my girls again. I smiled at the thought of them and cruised down the highway with "'03 Bonnie and Clyde" playing in the background.

* * *

I noticed that Spencer's car was already in front of my home as I finally pulled into the parking space next to my mom's in the driveway. I couldn't help but inwardly smile because I am home at last. Home sweet home. I turned off the engine and sat there for a moment while relishing all of the memories that came flooding back into my thoughts. _The sweet smell of warm apple pie enveloping the house whenever mom would bake. Laughter filling up the hallways as my dad chase after me to give me a bath when I was a kid. The comfortable silence of sitting in the living room watching a movie with my girls. The porch swing swaying back and forth when it starts to get a little windy in November. The warm cup of floral green tea I'd have while sitting at the window seat in my room. The books on the shelf that arisen my self-discoveries._ Why did I ever even keep myself from this homey place?

I took the key out of the engine and open the driver's door to step out of the car. As my left foot planted itself on the ground, I halted as I heard the front door slam open and Hanna rushing headfirst out of my house.

"EMILY!" she screamed and I couldn't resist the smile that crept onto my face. I watched as my mom, Aria, and Spencer step out after her. Home sweet home it is.

They all began to form a crowd around me, "Geez woman! What have you been doing lately? You look amazing! I haven't seen you in months and – " Hanna then got cut off by Spencer, "She looks the same to me. Still beautiful as always."

"Girls, please, can I have a moment with my daughter?" my mom spoke up.

They all smiled shyly and looked down in embarrassment as my mom made her way towards me and took me into her arms. Oh how I've missed her so much since I saw her last Christmas when she visited me at Danby. She stepped back but still holding onto my arms, "Emily, have you been feeding yourself? You look a lot thinner than when I last saw you honey." I saw the concern in her eyes and saw her tearing up a bit and I nodded. "I eat more than the average person mom," I finally said before laughing a little. "Okay, let's go get you unpacked and settle in sweetie," she said before she went to open the doors in the backseat. "Mom, it's all right, I can do it myself," I said as I reached out a hand to stop her movements. "Okay, anything in particular you want to eat? How about I start on that double tomato bruschetta you love, and you can tell me what else you want later? You girls are staying for dinner, right?" she turned and left without waiting for the girls and me to answer.

They all stayed still for one moment before all of them rushed over and engulf me in a huge group hug. "We miss you so much Em," I heard Aria's shaky voice as our hug lingered on for a little while longer. "I miss you all too," I said as I let go of them.

"Come on guys, let's go bring these boxes up to Emily's room," Spencer said to end our little sentimental moment.

"Way to ruin the moment Spence," Hanna muttered before she started trudging after the rest of us to the trunk of the car.

* * *

After dinner, the girls and I headed up to my room and I continued unpacking my stuff while they were all laying on my bed. Spencer was sitting against the headboard of the bed, Hanna was stretched out lying down near the end of the bed, and Aria was lying face down with her legs dangling in the air on the bedside that was closer to the door. I shuffled through the clothes I had in one of the boxes and began hanging them up in my closet.

"So what's new, guys? I said nonchalantly as I hung up one of my shirts.

"Well, there's this new girl in town," Hanna began but then stopped abruptly.

I turned around to let her know that she can continue, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw Spencer and Aria eyeing her to stop talking.

"Okay, what's going on?" I turned back to hang the shirt I was holding and quickly swiveled around with hands folding over my chest. They were holding something back and I felt the tension in the room gradually intensifying by the second. I looked at each and every one of them raising my eyebrows to express to them that I wanted answers. Now.

"Guys, I really think we should tell her before she actually runs into them, don't you think?" Hanna looked from Aria to Spencer. They all sat there looking back and forth at each other, and it felt like hours before I decided to speak up, even though it may have only been a minute or less.

"Them? Whom are you referring to as 'them'?" I was really confused now. I thought they were just talking about one girl, so how did that turn into Hanna making reference to more than one person they think I should know about beforehand? What is going on?

"I really hate to say this but Hanna may be right," Aria said while looking at Spencer.

"Alright, go ahead and tell her Hanna" Spencer sighed after a few seconds and just looked away.

"Well here's the thing, we saw this new girl with Paige and she may be Paige's new girlfriend," Hanna began.

I walked over to the window seat and sat down. My gaze fell to the floor and all of a sudden, I felt an unfamiliar feeling rushed through me. A feeling I couldn't put a name to. She has a girlfriend. Of course she would. It's been _two years_.

"Paige's girlfriend?" I finally breathed out after realizing I've been holding my breath for several seconds.

I looked back up to see three pairs of eyes observing me carefully.

_Oh no. _


	5. Chapter 5

**ov4arenko: We all go through hard times, and Emily is not exempt from that. I'm sorry for the suffering I've caused you. haha I am trying to slowly develop a clean cut scene for the breakup to unravel. I like slipping hints through the characters' dialogues and thought process bit by bit so when we all find out what actually happened, it'll all come together and make sense because it plays a very important part in their relationship. :) **

**TheShawmeister: Hm, it's interesting that you perceived Emily to be jealous because I hadn't meant for Emily to come off that way. Although I can totally see why from your POV and it does make sense why Emily would be jealous. You're definitely going to enjoy the next chapter I bet. **

**kennedy smed: I adore how you call them lovebirds. They're a really...interesting pair to me. I like that you love Hanna because I didn't know where to go with her character initially. I wanted her to be a bit more empathetic than insensitive in character, but that part of her will shine through in the future. I'm really big on having a support system (whether they be fictive or biological kin), and I couldn't see Paige running to her parents for these kind of conversations she had with Sammie, so I created Samantha Akers for her. The other characters might come into play later though. :) **

**gigabyte1: I'm really flattered that you enjoy this story, because I'm a big fan of "Past Memories". :) I almost always read it instantly the moment I get an alert that there's an update. Time apart can really create these insecurities for the girls, and I feel that it is only right to have Emily be true to these feelings of uncertainty. **

**Sazar: I'm glad this piecewise-defined story is starting to make sense for you. Thank you for reading and reviewing! :)**

**Thank you for all the new follows and favorites for this story. It really cheers me up. ;) I hope you enjoy this addition. Cheers! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **

* * *

**Paige's POV**

"Wow, I still can't get over how cute this small town is!" Sammie repeated for the millionth time.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, if that isn't the thousandth time I've heard you say that…" I mumbled a little louder than I usually would on purpose just to poke fun at her. We were walking around Rosewood and I almost felt like a sightseer strolling 'round town with her.

"Sorry, what were you saying? I didn't catch that," she said and I was about to turn around and sweetly smile at her until I saw the smirk on her face.

"Okay, you caught me, and don't you bother trying to fool me because I know for sure that you heard what I had just said Pug Face," I tried my best to pull off a devilish grin.

Her jaw dropped and she jumped onto me from behind, "Take that back!" she cried as I threw my head back and laughed hysterically at how hilarious her reactions sometimes can be when I used such terms of endearment with her.

Sammie and I have been in Rosewood for two and a half weeks and I've been showing her around all the places I used to frequent or hang out at when I lived here. Everything about this place seems to amaze her. I was really confused of what she saw of this place at first, but when I started to observe Rosewood with her approach, I began to see why she was falling in love with this place. It was a cute little town after all where everybody is acquainted with one another and knows each other's names by heart.

I imagine that it's a rewarding experience for her since she's used to living in the city back in the west coast. From historic buildings to Sundays' farmers market, towering architectures, the rose garden, themed galleries, some acres of trails, lakes, and wilderness just east of town, stylish mix of stores to shop at, and diners with a nice warm feel to them when you walk in. You can almost nosh your way around the world here with all the cuisines from Thai to Mediterranean. There's a little bit of everything even in this small town. But that's where it ends, because when you've experienced it all, nothing about it is as fascinating any more. It gets old eventually. I kind-of hope that Sammie never grows tired of this place though because I'd like for her to come visit again. Something about her presence here makes everything much more enjoyable.

I'm really going to miss her when she leaves for California in three days. At least I'll have more time with her when I drive her to the airport in Philadelphia. I'm going to need to find something to do in the meantime. It's summer after all and there should be lots to do, right?

Still, it just won't be the same without her. I let out an inaudible sigh.

"Alright, calm down, I'll take it back. Happy?" I asked and she smiled triumphantly like she just scored a touchdown in one of our flag football plays.

"I'm starving, can we go grab a bite to eat at that restaurant with a bar that we went to the other day? I think I'm falling madly in love with their cheesy baked tortinelli dish that I had there!" she exclaimed enthusiastically as she jumped off my back.

"The Apple Rose Grill? Gee, who would've thought that an outsider like you would have a preference for Rosewood's finest hangout spot as well?" I joked and started grinning her way. I laughed almost immediately when she began to lightly jab my ribs with her finger.

"Okay! We'll go! Just please stop!" I bellowed and started running in the direction towards Rosewood's local restaurant since it wasn't so far from where we were.

* * *

We stopped right outside of the Apple Rose Grill after racing each other here. God, I'm so out of breath and as I looked over my shoulder, I saw that Sammie was walking towards me with a little bit of perspiration too by the way that her skin glistened under the afternoon sunlight.

"Oh man, I totally need a drink after that," she said as I opened the door for her to step in first. She thanked me, then walked in and headed straight to a table almost near the bar.

I followed her lead and loudly said, "I, on the other hand, need a pool. Why can't they have a pool in – " I stopped midsentence as I try to make sense of the sight before me.

"Are you going to finish what you were saying, hotshot?" she turned around expecting an answer but saw that I was distracted by whatever was over by the table near the window. More like _who_ was over by the table near the window.

_Emily Fields. _

"…_here_." I decided to finish my sentence.

"Everything all right, dear?" she voiced her concern and then placed a hand on my arm to grab my attention.

"Yeah…let's go sit down," I said and we made our way over to the table Sammie was heading towards earlier. We sat down and a waitron came by with menus and set it down on our table.

"Hello ladies, my name is Adolfo, what drinks can I get started for you?" said the young lad.

"I'll have whatever she'll have," I said without needing to think about it.

Sammie raised one of her eyebrows questioningly, but then ordered two Italian cream sodas, one peach and one cherry, for the both of us anyway. When our waiter left, she looked over to the table of three near the window and back at me, her eyes demanding that I tell her what was going on with me.

My eyes must've gave it away, because the next thing I knew, she reached over to place a hand over mine and gave it a small squeeze, "Oh sweetie, do you want to leave?" her tone filled with apprehensiveness.

"No, I'm fine. It's just…I didn't expect this. Well, I half-expected it but not like this, not right here, and not especially…well, this soon…" my words carried along. I had it all in my head about how we would meet. When we would meet. Where we would meet. That I'd eventually call her someday to meet up. Or possibly just…I don't know. Just not like this.

We sat there in silence just staring at each other until Adolfo came back with our drinks.

"Here you go," he said as he set down the two drinks. "Do you need a few more moments or are you all set and ready to order?" he said smiling at both of us.

"I'm not eating but she is," I looked at Sammie to let her know that she can go ahead.

"I'll have your cheesy baked tortinelli," she said sweetly and then continued "and can you please bring out a plate and an extra set of utensils too." He smiled and left us to ourselves again.

I started to take a sip from my peach Italian cream soda and then looked up to see her staring at me.

"What?" I asked, but she just shook her head and smiled.

"You're so strong, you know that? It's _beautiful_," she confessed.

"If only you knew the emotions that I'm feeling right now. I'm trying so hard not to feel like I'm six feet under." I boldly admitted.

"Trust me, I do know. If not me, then who else?" she contested.

Did she really? Does she truly understand what it's like to be sitting in the same room with the beautiful brown-haired girl who appeared to be just as shock as I was that we're both actually…here? Someone who I also had a history with. Someone I can't go a day without thinking about. Someone I have wanted to run into again in the past two or so years. Someone I've tried so hard to get over. _Could she honestly fathom the depth of how I felt for this other human being? _

But in all seriousness, _wow_. She had become more beautiful with age since the last time I saw her, which was, of course, probably more than two years ago. Her dark hair seems to have lightened a bit, probably from the chlorine if she's still swimming. It seemed to have grown out too because it's now half past her back, but her hair is still wavy and soft looking like I remembered it to be. The complexion of her skin seems to be a shade lighter as well, but the muscles that were underneath that entire layer adorned her physique so immaculately. The lean muscles that sculpted her body really accentuated her beautiful image. She looked completely stunning in a simple lavender halter-top that exposed her bare upper back and denim jean short that showcased her long attractive legs. She was sitting there with the most perfect posture, and I couldn't believe my eyes as I sat here with the vantage point that I had of her. _Holy cow, what had time done to her?_ Time had REALLY treated her well.

I was brought out of my reverie without notice as the door to the restaurant opened forcibly and I looked over to discern the origin of the wildly audible sound. The gaze that met mine was filled with puzzlement whereas the thoughts behind my eyes were more put together. I watched the expression on their face gradually change to my own amusement.

Eyebrows pulled together. Lips pressed in a tight horizontal line. A little scrunch of the nose. The scowling mien did nothing to lessen my already uneasy state of mind.

Something changed though, because everything about their countenance transfigured straightaway. The black look was instantly replaced with an amiable one.

_Whew_, I let out a sigh of relief. I'm really glad that some things have not changed when push finally comes to shove.

_Hallelujah. _


	6. Chapter 6

**ov4arenko: So...was that your way of telling me that you're speechless? ;) Thanks for reviewing!**

**gigabyte1: Well, I tried my best but only one of your wishes are fulfilled in this chapter. :) Also, you are right on the ball about Em having stronger feelings here. But who knows? That might change. ;)**

**kennedy smed: I'm glad you don't find Hanna insensitive in this story. :) **

**Thank you to everyone that's following this story! Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **

* * *

**Emily's POV**

I accidentally let my guard down for one tiny moment after hearing about Paige, and everything I've been doing to stow away my deep feelings had just turned into shambles. I never meant to…ask that question with such vulnerability. I don't know where it came from. I was doing so well at sequestering the one and only thing that kept people from having reservations about my resilience.

"Emily, is there something you need to tell us?" Aria cautiously asked, and I could tell by the tone of her voice that she wasn't trying to pry any information from me. She's caught onto my… Damn it. That means that Spencer must've noticed it too; which leaves Hanna.

"We're here for you… We always have been, you do know that right? We love and care for you so much. Sometimes, it worries me how _happy_ you've been to be away from home. Also, when I say _me_, I'm actually speaking for all of us here in the room." I could tell that Hanna was trying to choose her words sensibly.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I held it in for as long as I can before I let it out and opened my eyes simultaneously. All right, here we go.

"I still…feel the _same_. I… It just never went away. I can't even make sense of it in my head, let alone talk about it. I tried my best to disguise it as something else and it still wasn't enough. It's like it…has a mind of its own, and I can't control it. I can't even talk about it without referring to it as _it_." I must sound so pitiful right now. I couldn't even get the words across on a plain-speaking level. I hope it didn't sound too ambiguous. I don't know how else to express such a deep emotion that I feel. I don't think that I could even go on any more.

"Listen, Em, do you hear that? Can you hear yourself for the very first time since she left? Because we have heard every feeling you ever felt each day for the past two years. Every now and then, words aren't even enough to express how we really feel. I don't think you need to make sense of what you're feeling as long as it feels…_right_. You can talk to us when you feel ready. When you're not ready. When you're sad. When you're confused. When you're undetermined. When you're untroubled. When you feel better. Anytime, anywhere, and with any one of us. We don't have to do this now if this is not what you want." How does Spencer always know the right words to say to comfort me during these crises? It was absolutely what I needed to hear. Every bit of it.

"_Thank you." _I managed to say, and they knew by the sound of my voice to drop the subject of our conversation.

* * *

Four days after the minor hue and cry in my bedroom, the girls and I decided to go hang out at the Apple Rose Grill. We haven't gone here as an entire group ever since we all left for college.

Spencer had said that she was going to come by after she meets up with Wren about some paperwork. So Hanna, Aria, and I decided to head over to the Grill first. I picked the girls up and we were quickly on our way to get there. When we arrived, we took our seats at a particular table by the window because that's where we would always sit when we came here. A waiter by the name of Adolfo came over and took our orders, and Hanna, of course, got the conversation going after he left.

"So Em, tell us your secrets to that perfect lean body of yours. What diet were you on to gain such lean muscles? By the way, I love your top, totally your color." Hanna said with excitement, and surely enough, even Adolfo felt her presence from across the room. Oh Hanna…

"I'm compelled to agree with her Em, what _have_ you been doing since we last saw you in March?" Aria added.

"I…uh, well, nothing that much different from my usual routine and diet. I did work out a little harder though." I wasn't lying. Ever since Coach Blair contacted me about the swimming scholarship in April, I've been torn between wanting to accept the offer and staying at Danby to sequester myself from the world. I started swimming more hours in an attempt to reduce the overflowing amount of cortisol – stress hormone – produced in my body. I felt beyond stressed in the last two months until I finally accepted their offer. I couldn't talk to anybody about it except for my swim mentor at Danby, and as much as Coach McKeever wanted me to stay, she had encouraged me to take off to U Penn because she felt like I would have more opportunities there.

Thankfully, Adolfo came back with our drinks because I've run out of words to say. I didn't want to slip up like I did the other night again.

"Here's your pink lemonade," he said while placing the drink before Hanna, "your iced green tea," he said to Aria "and your mint lychee soda," he said to me and continued "is your friend here yet?"

"No, but she will be in a bit. Thanks Adolfo," I said to him.

"Alright, your food should be out shortly." he said before taking off.

"_Thanks Adolfo_," Hanna mimicked me and Aria laughed. "Don't take this the wrong way Em, but you've got to tone it down a bit."

"Tone_ what_ done a bit? And why are you imitating me?"

"Uh, HELLO! Have you looked in the mirror today? No, you know what, don't even bother answering that question because by the look on your face you probably didn't." But of course by the looks of it, Hanna wasn't finished either, "Just keep your hands off Adolfo, okay? He can't stop ogling you. It's ridiculous." I rolled my eyes and was about to tell her that he was not, but a loud voice caught me off guard.

"_I, on the other hand, need a pool. Why can't they have a pool in – " _

My eyes shot straight to the origin of the clear audible sound that I recognized by heart. I'd know that voice anywhere. The moment I heard the first word, I _knew_ I heard her voice. I knew without knowing how. I knew because it was just simply…_her_.

_Paige. _I saw her before she even had her eyes set on me. Our eyes met and we needn't any words for that moment. It was like a bolt from the blue, and panic surged through me like electricity. All of this felt so strange and untrue. The anger swelled in my guts. Every feeling I've spent the last several years running from swept over me without warning. I felt my blood boiling as they rush towards my feet. I wanted to run. To leave. To not feel so small in comparison under her gaze. But my feet were still planted firmly to the ground; like a ship anchored safely in harbor. There's nothing safe in this life. I felt more afraid for my life than anything. Security is the last thing I'd feel if I could even _feel_ and understand everything that's happening to me right now. It's as though my nervous system is shutting down and my body is going into shock. All of my muscles are clenched tight. My stomach is convulsing. I feel my heart pounding. I'm incredibly frightened and helpless, not knowing where to turn for answers.

Amidst all of these inner combative thoughts and feelings, I noticed that she had finally looked away and turn to the beautiful blonde who had walked into the restaurant with her. They were now sitting at a table near the bar. Was that the girlfriend that Hanna brought up the other night? How long was I staring at her for?

The blonde had fair skin and an attractive form with curves in all the right places. She did not look athletic, but she didn't look like she wasn't either because I had notice the taut muscles that tensed and loosen while she used her core to sit up straight. It was visible to see because she was wearing a white floral summer dress that was tight to her upper body but loose around her hips and stops slightly past her mid-thigh. Her lemon blonde hair was straight and appeared to stop two inches past her shoulders. She was quite the looker. I could easily see why Paige would be attracted to her. She's utterly alluring.

But there was no way in the world that she could fare better if she were to compete with the auburn-haired girl sitting across from her. Paige's hair was longer now, about mid-back length, and was styled differently. She currently has long soft wavy hair with natural loose curls. It really gave prominence to her beautiful feminine poise in addition to the lean shoulders, toned arms, delicate womanly curves, and good-looking legs. She was dressed casually for summer, wearing a loose-fit grey tank top and beige corduroy shorts with matching khaki corium ties ankle boots. She had an almost pale brown complexion, more tanned than the last time I remembered her to be; she must've spent a lot of time outside in the sun. But she was glowing, from what I don't know, but it really suited her. She was unquestionably the epitome of perfection and is certainly more beautiful than I had remembered she was.

I saw Adolfo walked over to their table and take their orders. Paige seemed to be distracted while staring at…the blonde across from her. _Her girlfriend_. Of course. How could I forget? It seemed like Paige was too captivated by her girlfriend to even pay attention to their waitron because I only witnessed interactions between Adolfo and her girlfriend. When Adolfo left their table, I saw the blonde look over to our table and I immediately looked away in fear of getting caught staring at them, and after a second, I let my eyes stealthily travel back to their table. They were staring intently at each other now, and then suddenly the other girl reached over and placed her hand atop Paige's as she said something that was inaudible to me from where I sat. My hands that were now in my laps had clenched tight into fists. I didn't want it to affect me this much_, but it did_. I couldn't stand watching this scene unfold before me. The pain was _almost _unbearable. I felt my intake of breath get caught in my throat, and I saw Adolfo walking over to the two girls with drinks in his hands. He settled down their drinks and was once again only interacting with the blonde. When he walked away, I saw the twinkle in the blonde's eyes before she began to say something to Paige. She responded to the blonde, almost looking nervous from my point of view. I studied them, seeing how they seem to be having an intense conversation.

"Emily, are you all right?" Aria's voice snapped me back to reality and out of my stoical state of agony from how heartbreakingly beautiful Paige was. I looked over to the girls and saw how concerned they were, and as I was about to lie to them about how I felt, Spencer walked in, making her presence known by how noisy her entrance into the restaurant was.

The girls and I looked over to where Spencer stood in place, wondering if she was searching for us, but I saw her staring at Paige's table. _Great_. Spencer finally looked around and spotted us, and she looked back over to Paige. Then she looked to me. It seemed like she was trying to make up her mind about something, but she started striding over to our table.

"Hey guys," she said before sitting down across from me. "Hey Em," she spoke to me, clearly singling me out for something. I stared at Spencer and saw the look in her eyes. _She knew_. Of course she did.

It was just another day at the Apple Rose Grill, right? No big. I couldn't be any more wrong at that very moment as Spencer spoke up after a minute of silence at our table.

"I have big news to share…" she began, effortlessly changing the conversation in another direction instead of the path I thought it would take.

"Well, what is it?" Aria asked.

"I was going to wait until the end of summer to tell you guys, but after getting some confirmation about it today, I went over to Wren's to get help finishing up some paperwork and…"

"Ugh, I hate it when you do this Spence. What's the damn point of building suspension when you're going to end up telling us about whatever it is anyway? So can you just get straight to the point already?" Hanna exclaimed impatiently.

Spencer crossed her arms across her chest and looked expectantly at Hanna, "Well, if you would've let me finished, I would have been able to tell you that I'm transferring to U Penn this upcoming fall term."

"Oh my God! Spence!" Both Aria and Hanna cried out. I was speechless.

"Well, I've been planning to transfer since last fall so that I can be closer to home and see you girls more often. Too bad Emily's still going to be the furthest away though." Spencer said while looking at me with a little bit of sorrow.

"Actually…" I began.

_What are the other strange chances of the world after today?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Paige's POV**

I'm really glad that Emily being here didn't mean that things would change between Spencer and I from what I gathered of her demeanor just now. I'm also kind-of curious about whether Emily's aware about our friendship.

Although Spencer and I weren't on the best of terms back in high school, all of that tension somehow dissolved after high school. We weren't exactly close, but we had kept in contact every once in a while. Maybe it is out of how much we cared for Emily that bonded us together. I wanted to be sure that at least one of her friends was keeping a tab on her. That's how I knew Emily's been skipping out on the holidays in Rosewood for the past two years, because Spencer was my source.

Spencer took her eyes off of me and I saw her begin to search for her friends. Her eyes settled on their table, but she surprisingly whipped her head back to stare at me. Then again, she glances back to the table of the trio. I wasn't sure if she wanted to speak to me with Emily being here, but I suppose she made her decision when I saw her walk over to the girls on the other side of the room.

I finally looked back to Sammie and saw her staring at me inquisitively. I tried to relax from how tense I felt about the entire situation I was caught in the middle of, and then attempted to grin at Sammie to play it off as if I wasn't really affected by everything surrounding us.

"Do you want some?" Sammie asked as she lifted up her fork with a piece of tortinelli on it.

"No thanks, I'm good." I said and wondered what she was thinking about, because her curious expression still hadn't gone away. I went back to sipping on my cream soda and tried not to let my eyes wander over to where they're not supposed to be.

"She's really beautiful. Much more stunning than I thought she'd be. Those pictures you showed me didn't do any justice to how she'd appear in person. I've got to say though McCullers, you sure have great taste in women." she winked as she said this.

I caught the wink when I was looking up, stunned that she could be so blunt after trying to be sensitive about the topic earlier.

"You're so full of yourself sometimes, you know that?" She smiled brightly at this and I laughed. I finally let out a sigh after my laughter died down, "What am I going to do with you? You are incorrigible."

"Well, stop trying to kid yourself and walk over there and say hello, dork." I widened my eyes and shook my head vehemently.

"No way! Absolutely not! You're crazy." I asserted while nodding in agreement with myself.

"Come on! You didn't want to leave when I asked you earlier, so let's go get this over with." Sammie said with too much excitement for my liking.

"Uh, Sam, you know what? You're right, let's just leave like you suggested earlier then." I'm really going to have a heart attack if she actually drags me over to their table. Sammie is quite well known for following through with her _brilliant ideas_. I am far beyond unprepared to have this conversation right now.

But of course, Sammie wasn't having any of it because the next thing I knew, I was dragged out of my seat and pulled over to the table of four. _No, no, no, no, no! Oh god, no! Please tell me I'm dreaming. Wake up, Paige! This isn't funny anymore! Wake up, you fool! Oh god, no…_

As we were halfway across the restaurant to Emily's table, I heard two voices cry out "_Oh my God! Spence!_" Both did not belong to Emily, so I concluded that the two voices I overheard were Aria and Hanna's. I wonder what had happened. They sounded _happy_. I looked at Spencer to try to catch her eyes, but she didn't see me because she was talking to Emily. _Damn it._ When we were a few steps away from their table, I finally heard her voice for the first time in years.

"_Actually_…" she said and was about to continue when Sammie nudged me forward, almost having me land in Hanna's lap.

I saved my fall by grabbing the end of their table with both hands and gripping onto the edge firmly. They all looked up at me with stunned expressions. When I look to Emily, my heart began beating so fast, I felt as if it wanted to jump out of my chest. Her eyes bored into mine, and I stumbled back, wondering why I couldn't find the strength to look away in humiliation. She looked even more beautiful up-close like this. _More real. _Tantalizing and untouchable. Almost too perfect to be true. I began to feel numb from the entirety of this position. That is, until I heard a cough from behind me. Right. I gotta thank Sammie for this compromising position. What am I ever going to do with her to get her back for this? I'll find _something_.

"H-hi g-guys," I uncontrollably stuttered. God, why am I suddenly so uncoordinated? First, the stumble into their table, and now the speech impediment for my opening statement. What else can go wrong from here?

"Hey, Paige, I thought it was just my imagination of you being in this neck of the woods a second ago." Spencer said.

"Oh, no. I'm real. And…here." I awkwardly replied.

"O-kay…" Hanna said with eyebrows lifted and stretching out the last syllable of the word, almost as if to remark the awkward and slightly uncomfortable situation we're all currently in. Then she continued, "Well, are you going to just stand there or have you already decided to introduce us to your lady _friend_ over here?" I finally ripped my gaze away from Emily and watched as Hanna began eyeing my friend up and down.

"Oh, sorry, this is – " I started but then was interrupted by Sammie.

"Hi! I'm Samantha, but you can call me Sammie. I'm Paige's best friend. We met during our freshmen year at U Penn and have been good friends ever since." Sammie said cheerily.

"It's so nice to meet you, Sammie. I'm Aria and I currently attend Hollis but we're on summer break right now," one of the girls had spoken out.

"Oh, that's fairly close, isn't it? Didn't we drove by that college the other day, Paige?" Sammie said. I only nodded in response. Maybe if I kept quiet, I'd stop making a fool out of myself.

"I go there too. I'm Hanna by the way, and I might just _really_ need to add that you're totally rocking it out in that dress hun," Hanna said with much more fervor than she had when she'd spoken up earlier. Definitely less terrorizing than before.

"Thanks, this is one of my favorites, and Jem's too. He's my boyfriend by the way, and he's actually all the way across the country in California right now. I'll be heading back there in three days to be reunited with him and my family though, so I'm really excited about that." Sammie said enthusiastically.

"Wow, I would've never coined you for a California girl," Hanna said sarcastically with a playful smile.

"Yup, born and raised in Malibu, but Pennsylvania has really grown on me in the past two years. Of course, it's all thanks to Paige here," Sammie said while gleaming my way. My right hand had automatically gone to rub the back of my neck, not really basking in the attention of all eyes centered on me.

"Hm, that's interesting to hear. I'm Spencer. I was actually just telling the girls here that I'm _transferring_ to U Penn this upcoming fall term."

My eyes widened and I quickly exclaimed, "You are?! Oh my god! Why didn't you tell me?!" Before I knew it, all eyes were on me once again from my sudden outburst. Some confused. Others shocked. Emily's were both.

"Yeah…I am." Spencer's shocked expression switched over to a frightened one. It took me a moment before I understood why. Emily and the girls were completely kept in the dark about our friendship.

"That's awesome! Maybe we'll be seeing more of each other in the future!" Sammie jumped in excitedly.

"Maybe…" Spencer looked wearily from me to Emily.

Sammie kept smiling and then turned to Emily, and asked the most ridiculous question in the world to me, "And you are…?" I seriously just wanted to roll my eyes at the question asked.

"_Emily_," she softly spoke. She looked straight at me while she said it, her eyes piercing through my soul. It was only one word, but I felt like it could've answered even a million questions Sammie would've never ask. That one word basically explained everything in my life. Everything that's the way it is now. Everything that led up to this very moment. Everything I thought about day in and day out. Everything I wanted. Everything I once never knew I wanted. _Everything_.

"Is that all I get?" Sammie asked, slightly smiling but also arching her left eyebrow.

_That's all I needed. _

Emily was still staring at me, but I watched as various emotions played across her features. After a long time, an expression of hurt manifest itself on her face but it soon disappeared too. Startled, I eventually made sense of why she felt hurt. It must've been a rude awakening for Emily to think of an answer for Sammie's question, if given that she might've probably assumed that my best friend knew about her from me. Sammie does. She knew everything there was to know about Emily, but Emily didn't know that, because Sammie was feigning ignorance.

Emily quickly recovered but seems to be taking her time to put her thoughts into words as I saw how she was choosing her words meticulously. "I swam at Danby with a swimming scholarship, and studied kinesiology too during my time there." she finally said. I tried to make sense of her words, but her grammatical use of the verbs in the _past tense_ had slightly thrown me off. It seemed…_odd_ almost.

"Hold on, can you clarify what you had just said? I noticed that you used the words 'swam' and 'studied' in the past tense." Hm, great minds do think alike after all. Or at least, Sammie and I are at the same level of mentality because we've been around each other for so long time that we think alike.

I saw Emily squirm a bit under our watchful eyes, and I instantaneously felt nervous for her, as we all had looked expectantly at her for answers. I glanced over to Spencer and she looked back at me shrugging her shoulders. What was going on with her?

"I…" Emily began but stopped. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply.

"Em, is everything all right?" I had braved up to ask. Her eyes opened immediately and stared at me as though I've grown another head, seemingly affected by me addressing her by her sobriquet. Or maybe it was because she picked up on the concern in my voice and that instead had affected her reaction. I saw her swallowed evidently, trying to make a decision once and for all.

She looked around the table, starting with Spencer, Aria, Hanna, and Sammie, and then she had settled her eyes on me. "Two months ago, I got a call from Coach Blair about an athletic scholarship offer to join U Penn's Women's Division I Swimming & Diving team. I was considering it for a long time until Spence came by to visit almost a month ago." She looked to Spencer and continued, "Sitting there with you at the café that evening made me realized how much I miss home and being around you and the girls. So after you left, I gave Coach Blair a call to accept the generous offer." Everybody there looked shock, including me. The full force of what all of us had just been told hit me like a thunderbolt. _Did this mean…?_ "I was going to save this news until the end of summer, but then you sprung the same announcement on all of us earlier, Spence. I was about to tell you guys about my transfer to U Penn this upcoming fall term as well until…" Emily peered back at me and carried on, "you came over executing that mini stunt out of the blue."

I turned scarlet from her mentioning about my lost of balance earlier. That aside, I was utterly mind-blown from the sudden disclosure of Emily's foreseeable future at U Penn. We were going to be on the same swim team_, again_. Why hadn't Coach Blair told me this? I mean, not that he had to report to me about these kinds of things, but gee, it would've helped lessen my eagerness to want to wrap my arms around Emily right now and congratulate her if I knew about it beforehand. I wasn't even sure if I could consider doing both of those things right now. Is it even all right to shake hands? I'm not sure if I was even allowed that sort of intimacy any more.

"What?!" Hanna squealed. "Oh my god! You're going to U Penn!" she pointed at Emily. "You're going to U Penn!" she pointed at Spencer. "You're going to U Penn!" she pointed at Sammie. "And you're going to U Penn too!" she finally pointed at me. "This is crazy!" she exclaimed with arms flailing in the air. The four of us looked at each other and tried to process what we had all just learned.

"Okay Hanna, we all can figure that out for ourselves. So let's just calm down and – " Aria was in midsentence but Hanna had jumped in.

"No! You don't get it, do you?" Hanna said as she looked from me to Emily and back to Aria. Realization seeped in, as I understood what Hanna was trying to tell Aria.

"Okay! Wow! Rosewood is getting that much more exciting with these girls around, Paige." Sammie interrupted my train of thoughts. _You have no idea, Sammie._

"Well, it was really nice meeting you girls, but Paige here promised me some dancing lessons. So, shall we?" Sammie asked me with the usual playfulness in her eyes to finally cut this long overdue conversation short. She headed back towards our table without even waiting for my response and I heard her asked Adolfo for our check from across the room.

"I've got to go…but it was really nice seeing you," I said while staring at Emily. "All of you," I decided to clarify and met everyone's gaze at the table. I turned around and walked over to where Sammie was, signing a receipt.

"Thank you _so_ much for lunch," I said and pulled her into a hug. "You're _so_ dead once it's just the two of us," I whispered into her ear.

Sammie pulled back and smirked, "Not a problem, dear."

Sammie led the way out as I followed behind. I decided it was best not to look back, and after walking a block down the street, I finally let out a sigh and looked at her. "I don't know whether to thank you or hurt you." I said and Sammie laughed. "Well, if I were you, I'd be celebrating right now." she said. "I don't know. I wasn't expecting that. I am pretty much speechless at this moment in time." I admitted. "Okay then, let's go watch a movie. That doesn't require much talking."

"What happened to the dancing lessons I promised you?" I joked. "But dancing lessons? _Really_? You're like the only person I know who would ever come up with that poor excuse to leave. It has to be a universal fact that I'm the most uncoordinated person when it comes to dancing. I don't even know how you got away with that one." I laughed. "What can I say? I'm pretty persuasive when I want to be." she threw back at me and smiled. I grinned inwardly at how amazing my best friend was. I would've never been brave enough to do that on my own. "Thanks, Sammie…" "Yeah, you can thank me later with a massage. I totally need one after all these mini adventures in this cute little town." And there she goes again.

We walked in silence, enjoying the cool afternoon air as I led us towards the town's only movie theater. Emily and Spencer were going to transfer to U Penn. How was it real that a possibility like that can happen? Is this for real? Am I dreaming? I don't know whether to feel elated or troubled by such news. I didn't think we'd ever… I let out another sigh.

_It's like she came along and took my heart completely…all over again._

* * *

After the movies, Sammie and I had headed back to my house and decided to go for a swim in the pool in my backyard. It was relaxing and nice to just bathe in the sun and unwind after such an eventful day. I was suddenly startled awake by a cool breeze that swept past me and sent shivers down my body.

I then realized that we had both fallen asleep on the lounge chairs by the pool. The sun had already set and the moon was at its zenith in the sky among the stars. Living in a small town undoubtedly had its perks, and one of them was being able to see the stars in the heavens, that were visible to the naked eye, fill up every square inch of the sky.

I stood up and walked over to Sammie, shaking her shoulder gently to wake her up, "Sammie, let's go back inside." She shrugged off my attempt to wake her, so I decided to be a good sport about it and carry her into the house. Good thing we're both dry now so it wasn't easy for her to slip out of my arms if I would've carried her.

I went over to the backdoor of the house and opened it. Then I walked across the yard to where Sammie was, tucking one arm under her knees and another under her neck, I lifted her up and walked steadily across the backyard again. I walked down the hall, past the kitchen and living room, and then made my way up the staircase that appeared to my right. After I reached the top of the stairs, I turned left and kept walking until I saw another set of stairs, about five steps, and continued onto them. In spite of my arms beginning to numb and lose sensation from Sammie's weight, I ascended the last few steps and walked down the hallway a bit more before I softly kicked open the guestroom she currently stayed in. I steered towards one side of the bed in the dark and gently laid her down. I lifted her head up from the pillow with my left hand and fixed the pillow a bit with my right before setting her head back down. Turning to my right, I saunter over to the walk-in closet on the other side of the room and flicked a light on to aid my search for some coverings. I pulled out a baby blue colored fleece blanket, turned off the light, and walked back across the room to where Sammie was and draped the cover over her sleeping form. She was still sleeping like a baby.

"_Sweet dreams, Sleeping Beauty_." I softly chuckled at the underlying meaning of what a heavy sleeper she was and slowly let myself out of the room.

I descended the small set of stairs I had climbed earlier, and walked straight down the hallway to the other side of the house where my bedroom was. I opened the door and turned on the lights, and picked up my wristwatch to see what the time was. It was only 9:43PM. I walked into the bathroom that was attached to my bedroom and switched on the lights. Looking into the mirror before me, I finally let out a restless sigh and let my hands settle onto the counter, hunching over it a bit. The brown eyes that stared back at me wasn't anything less of fatigue, but I couldn't find it in me to call it a night just yet.

* * *

After about half an hour, I had showered and gotten ready. I grabbed my keys and purse, and headed out into the night. I got in my car and decided to drive around a bit before I settled on a destination. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head.

Twenty minutes later, I was pulling into the parking lot of a karaoke bar located outside of Rosewood, the _Hungry Owl Tavern_ it was called. I suppose I chose this place because I wasn't in the right frame of mind to run into people I know. It was a secluded place and there's only one other person I can think of that knows about this spot. I doubt that she'd ever come here again any way. She had remarked that it was _remote_ the first and last time we've been here almost four years ago.

While I parked my black Mercedes-Benz C63 AMG Coupe next to a red Ford Chevy truck, I felt a rush of nostalgia wash over me as I heard the booming music blare from the bar. This was almost…unimaginable, feeling that the past was so out of reach. This was the place that Emily had kissed me for the first time. I had been trying to make sense of the feelings I had before that night, _everything_, from lust to hate, from hate to love, wondering how we fell into a pattern so effortlessly and how I found my way to falling in love. I found this tucked away place online for the purpose of not running into people we might know. I wanted to…figure things out and talk with her in the absence of the fear of being seen together. I remember it being such a confusing time of my life. A part of me wanted the kiss that I stole from her a few days before to mean _nothing_. That it was just my way of shutting her up for getting so worked up about me remarking how easy she has it after coming out. But the other half of me knew that I had kissed her because I wanted to be _loved_, to feel what it's like being in love, and to know what it's like to have my heart pressed against her chest. She had kissed me _first_ that night.

I was startled out of my reverie by the loud cheers erupting from the bar. I took a deep breath before opening the driver's door to step out of my car. I shut the door closed and locked the car. I began to make my way to the entrance of the karaoke bar and closed my eyes to clear my mind of any hopeless thought. That was definitely going to work out well… I opened the wooden door to the rustic bar and was met with loud music and a lass's voice that announced to the crowd in the room, "Don't forget to sign up for your turn at karaoke tonight."

I walked over to the bar that was to the left of the stage and came face to face with a man in his forties maybe.

"What can I get for ya, darling?" he asked friendly.

"Long Island Iced Tea, but can you garnish it with lemon instead of lime?" I asked and he said "Sure thing!" without delay before getting into it. I turned around and leaned my back against the bar as I let my eyes sweep the bar. I noticed an empty table almost behind the back right of the stage and turned around to see if my drink was done. The bartender set the drink down before me and I slid a ten-dollar bill his way. He left and returned with four dollars and I put two of the bills into the tip jar. He smiled at me and I nodded in return and took my drink, heading over to the table I spotted earlier. After I sat down, I heard the young woman's voice over the loudspeaker again, "Alright ladies and gents, the night is still young but we only have a short list of sign-ups for karaoke, so if you haven't signed up, please do! Okay, now please welcome our next act. Give it up for Blake and Maddie singing "_Easy_" by Rascal Flatts and Natasha Bedingfield."

From my vantage point, I saw two people who looked like they were in their mid-thirties come up to the stage. The man had dirty blonde hair with a crew cut, spikey hairstyle with the top of his hair flat. He looked brawny but a bit shy. The woman had shoulder length light brown hair and a slender frame. In comparison to the brawny-looking man, she seemed slightly more confident. The music started playing and about fifteen seconds into the song, the man starts singing.

_We broke up,_

_yeah, it's tough,_

_most guys would've been crushed._

_Wastin' their time,_

_Wonderin' where they went wrong._

_No way, not me,_

_Hey, I'm doing just fine,_

_I'm not afraid of movin' on…_

_It's easy…_

_going out on a Friday night._

_Easy… _

_every time I see her out._

_I can smile, live it up,_

_The way a single guy does,_

_But what she, what she don't know,_

_Is how hard it is to make it look so…_

_Easy…_

[The woman starts singing]

_The truth is,_

_That I miss,_

_lyin' in those arms of his._

_But I don't_

_ever let it show._

_I laugh, _

_and I act like_

_I'm having the time of my life,_

_as far as he knows…_

_It's easy… _

_goin' out on a Friday night._

_Easy… _

_everytime I see him out_

_I can smile, live it up,_

_The way a single girl does,_

_But, what he, _

_what he don't know,_

_is how hard it is to make it look so…_

_Easy…_

_Oh, it's easy…_

[Both singing together]

_Oh, it's easy _

_goin' out on a Friday night._

_Oh, it's easy _

_every time I see him out._

_I can smile, _

_live it up,_

_Forget about the way it was,_

_But what she,_

_Oh, what he don't know,_

_What she don't know_

_Is how hard it is to make it look so…_

_Easy…_

_Look so easy…_

As the song died out, I was blinking furiously and trying to gather my thoughts together. The crowd cheered, whistled, screamed, and the room erupted in applauds. Wow, they were _so good_. It was almost magical the way they sang in chorus. The lyrics…wow, they were so relatable. That was incredible! I let out a breath and shook my head back and forth at how amazing the performance was. I took a sip of my drink, and felt how smooth it was sliding down my throat. I don't know what had gotten into me, but I suddenly felt the urge to go up and sing a song tonight. _Why not?_ I stood up from where I sat and walked over to the lassie that was holding a clipboard and a microphone.

"Hi, can I sign up to sing?" I asked trying not to sound too eager. She turned to look at me and smiled brightly, "Sure, just sign your name and a song of your choice here," she said as she gave me the clipboard. I contemplated what song I wanted to sing for a minute before I wrote it down. I gave it back to her and she told me, "I'm Jane, and…Paige," she said after looking at the clipboard, "you'll be up in about fifteen minutes." I smiled at her and then walked back to my table. I try to sit still but I couldn't stop fidgeting as I began counting down the minutes until I would go up to perform. Three people had gone up to perform until it was my turn. Rascal Flatts music was really a hit tonight. Before I knew it, I heard Jane calling out my name over the loudspeaker. I took a big gulp out of my drink before I stood up and headed over and onto the stage. _Here it goes…_

"Please give a warm welcome to Paige! She'll be singing "_Just A Kiss_" by Lady Antebellum." I felt my heart pounding beneath my chest and I could barely hear the start of the song as the crowd applauded. After the clapping had started to die down, I heard the intro into the song. I took a deep breath and smiled at the crowd before I began to read the lyrics off the screen and sing along. I knew the words by heart, but I wanted to be sure I stayed in tune with the rhythm of the song.

_Lyin' here with you so close to me,_

_It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe._

_Caught up in this moment,_

_Caught up in your smile…_

I smiled as her features started to appear in my thoughts. Those brown eyes. That sweet smile. The way her entire face lit up when she smiles… So breathtaking and invigorating, it's almost difficult to think clearly.

_I've never opened up to anyone,_

_So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms._

_We don't need to rush this,_

_Let's just take it slow…_

I had that night committed to memory when we walked out of this bar, and I recall feeling as shy as I ever had in my short life. We walked side by side and…I was just a nervous wreck and trying my best not to appear so. We had stopped by her car, and I turned around to face her, but I couldn't, and I looked down. I had taken a deep breath and looked up again, about to tell her I had a great time until I saw her slowly lean in, her eyes resting on my lips. I looked down at hers as well, and instinctively leaned in too. I slowly let out my last breath before closing my eyes, and a second later, I felt her lips pressed against mine.

_Just a kiss _

_on your lips in the moonlight._

_Just a touch_

_of the fire burning so bright._

_No I don't want to mess this thing up,_

_I don't want to push too far._

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life._

_So baby I'm alright,_

_with just a kiss goodnight._

It was unbelievable. It had felt like…a dream. When my eyes fluttered open, I had noticed the relief in her expression but her eyes were still full of concern. I smiled slightly and then she shyly returned the smile too, opening her mouth to say something but nothing ever came out. I closed my eyes again and finally trusted the feelings I felt. They were _real_.

_I know that if we give this a little time,_

_It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find._

_It's never felt so real, _

_no it's never felt so right…_

The kiss may have been a second. It could've been two. I could only remember the way her lips felt, touching mine so gently that I wanted to cry. It just…felt so…_beautiful_.

_Just a kiss_

_on your lips in the moonlight._

_Just a touch _

_of the fire burning so bright._

_No I don't want to mess this thing up,_

_I don't want to push too far._

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might,_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life._

_So baby I'm alright, _

_with just a kiss goodnight…_

I just wanted it to be an endless night. I didn't want to say goodnight. I didn't want to move from where I was standing. I just…remember never having felt that way before.

_No I don't want to say goodnight…_

_I know it's time to leave, _

_but you'll be in my dreams_

_Tonight…_

_Tonight…_

_Tonight…_

It was everything about that night before the kiss that made me realize I was falling in love with her. The breath before the kiss. The hesitancy of coming onstage to sing before the kiss. The fear that she might not come before the kiss. The look in her eyes before the kiss. The lonely second of unknown before the kiss. It wasn't my first girl kiss, but it was _our first kiss to end a very good night. _

_Just a kiss _

_on your lips in the moonlight._

_Just a touch _

_of the fire burning so bright._

_No I don't want to mess this thing up,_

_I don't want to push too far._

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life._

_So baby I'm alright, _

_oh, let's do this right, _

_with just a kiss goodnight…_

_With a kiss goodnight…_

_Kiss goodnight…_

I opened my eyes before I sang the last part, and I felt the hazy memories slowly but surely floating away. I relished my moment of fond memories of her, until I saw her standing across the room of the karaoke bar. I shook my head back and forth in an attempt to clear my sight and looked back to where I saw her standing, but she was no longer there. Did I just imagine that?


	8. Chapter 8

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* * *

**Emily's POV**

I was still lost in a trance even after Paige had left with Sammie. A part of me felt utterly relieved that she was only best friends with the blonde beauty. I was about to burst out of my little bubble over here from all of that…intimate interaction I witnessed taking place on the other side of the room. Paige and Sammie had appeared to be incredibly close though, and if I didn't know any better, I could've easily mistaken them for a couple just like Hanna had if nobody had forewarned me about them. I then let out a sigh from the comfort of knowing that Sammie was straight and had a boyfriend. If that wasn't a good enough reason to let out a big exhale, I really don't know what _is_ at this point.

"_Earth to Emily_, are you still in there?" Hanna waved a hand back and forth in front of my face. I mentally slapped myself as I let my eyes focus in on Hanna's face.

"What?" I asked, snapping out of my daze.

"Don't _what_ me! How can you keep a secret like that from us? _Secrets don't make friends_, Emily. Wait, you know what? That's not a secret; it's a _bombshell,_ like a nuclear." Hanna pouted, and for a moment there, I felt guilt-ridden and wondered if my initial intention about saving the announcement until the end of summer was such a brilliant idea after all. Not that it matters now, because it's out. Whatever else happens, I've already said what I wanted to say, even as unprepared as I was about _how_ I did it just now and _who_ was present for the news. _Of course_ Paige had to be here of all the scenarios that could've played out. _Well done, Fields._ This day just could not get any more eventful than it already had.

"So…have you told your mom yet, Em?" Aria raised a very good question.

"Yeah, I have. I told her on the first day that I got back here after you guys left. She's really happy that I'll be closer to home. _I'm happy,_ too." I confessed.

"You know, I'm still trying to figure out what all of this means. And here I was, feeling all sappy and blue that you might feel left out being so far out at Danby while I transfer to U Penn." Spencer exclaimed and folded her arms over her chest. I reached across the table and placed a hand on one of her arms, smiling adoringly at her.

"Thank you for always caring about me, even when we're far away from each other, all of you. It means more than you'll ever know. Even though I never expressed my pain, never whimpered, never let you watch me suffer, never showed you how weak I believed I was, never stood on your doorsteps and told you in half-breaths of what I felt, _you protected me in silence_. You wrapped your understanding around me like a blanket, and it helped me sleep with warmth at night knowing that you're always going to be there no matter where I am. You have to remember that_ to bleed is human_. But you are _every reason_," I conveyed and looked at Spencer, "_every hope_," I moved my gaze to Aria, "and _every wonderment_" I finally stared at Hanna, "of why I'm sitting here and still anchored to this special friendship that I can always turn to when in need of strength. …Because in such moments of lucidity, I'd always wish that I could tell you all the words I'm too afraid to say, and even if I don't utter a single word, I know that you'll always _understand_."

I was on the qui vive when I watched the myriad of emotions changed and settled on their features. They all looked like they were on the brink of tears. I slightly shifted in my seat to the right and looked back at Hanna, in good time to see a tear escape and slide down her face as she wipes it away quickly with the back of her hand. I smiled tenderheartedly, pulling her into my arms as I felt her quivering for a short time as she hung onto me tightly. Before I saw it coming, I felt arms wrapped around the both of us.

"Emily Fields, you are such a sentimentalist." Hanna's voice was muffled as she spoke into the side of my neck, but it was audible enough for me to hear. I laughed a bit at her choice of word that would only befall on rare occasions like these.

"You know, I feel as though this had led us to a whole new level of closeness, guys," Spencer said before she pulled away from the group hug.

"Come back here, Spence! You spend too much time trying to figure out what things mean. That needs to stop." Hanna extended one of her arms to reach out and pull Spencer back into our little cuddling session. Spencer rolled her eyes and came back to us, "You know Aria, it's really convenient that you're tiny sometimes, especially in moments like these." Aria jabbed her in the ribs and she yelped, "OW! I meant you're _really_ tiny and I love you!"

Somehow, that suddenly reminded me of all of our initial dynamics and the earlier stages of our friendship. It's amusing how we all had different stories, we all had gone through divergent paths, and we all had changed, but we had found our way back together in the end. Right back here with each other.

* * *

After I drove the girls back to their individual homes, I made my way over to Spencer's. Aria had made plans with Ezra to go visit the Philadelphia Museum of Art, so she had to go back to their apartment and get ready before Ezra got off work to pick her up for the one-hour drive to Philly. Hanna, on the other hand, was going to meet up with her parents for family counseling. Tom Marin had really been trying to put in the effort to connect with his daughter after they had a deep conversation one night when they were out to dinner. Hanna had confessed that she no longer felt connected to him and didn't think that it was necessary to meet up with him every other week any more, and I guess he panicked and is now trying to fix things between them. I think Hanna's happy to see him try so hard to make it work, because she cares about him and wants a healthy relationship with her father too.

I parked my car next to Spencer's in the driveway and then got out of the car. I locked it with the car remote, then went to the side door of the house and gave it a few knocks. After a moment or two, Spencer opened the door and let me in.

"Hey," she said closing the door behind me as I walked in.

"Hey yourself," I replied. I followed her into the kitchen and she went over to pour herself a cup of coffee. I set down my purse and keys on the kitchen counter and watched her take a sip from the cup.

"Do you want some?" she had turned around and asked me.

"I do, but can I make my own? The way you like to make your coffee always gives me a sour stomach. I'd prefer not to be reminded of that stomach ulcer I once had a few years back," I scrunched up my face a bit as I said this.

"Amateur," Spencer muttered audibly while rolling her eyes, and I laughed heartily at how she can sneak in such a snarky comment over little things like these. She turned off the coffeemaker and took out the coffee pot she had just made. She then reached over for the empty coffee pot on the vinyl placemat near the stove and lifted it up, then setting it aside near the coffeemaker while replacing the pot she had just made onto the woven placemat. "It's all yours," she said gesturing to the coffeemaker.

"Thanks," I said as I walked over to where she was and reached up to open the cabinet above my head. I pulled out an 8.8 oz. bag of Lavazza Crema e Gusto coffee grounds and then reached for a coffee filter while I was at it. I set them down on the kitchen granite countertop and then took the tablespoon Spencer handed to me. I added the new coffee filter in the filter basket after throwing away the old one in it, measured out two tablespoons of the coffee grounds, and put it in the coffee filter. Next, I poured about six ounces of water into the compartment behind the filter basket of the coffeemaker and then placed the coffee pot back on the warming plate. I turned on the coffeemaker so that it would start brewing coffee and then turned around to see Spencer sitting over at the couch on her smartphone.

"Spence?" I said as my mind reeled back to what had happened earlier at the Apple Rose Grille. She looked up from her phone and stared at me from across the room, "Yeah?" she responded.

"What was that earlier?" I paused and then continued, "I mean, when Paige seemed quite ecstatic, yet bewildered, when she found out you're transferring to U Penn. It's almost as if…you guys were…_friends_. Acquainted even… Like she was closer to you than to me, and how is that even conceivable…with_ me_ dating her back then and _you_ wanting to destroy her at every possible opportunity that were presented. _What was that_?" I said without taking a breath. At least I felt like I was being sensible with my inquiries. It had really made me feel uncomfortable earlier at how…Paige was more concerned about Spence's transfer to U Penn. than mine. I was the ex-girlfriend here. The one she was once intimate with. The one she had said she loved with all of her heart. The one that loved her more than anybody else ever could. The one that whispered to her words of encouragement to swim for herself. The one who told her that she couldn't just dream and wish that luck would get her to U Penn. The one who assured her that she would swim there because I had believed in her. What _was_ Spencer _to_ Paige? Spencer never even cared for her for all that I knew. Spencer never loved her the way I did. Spencer never watched her break down when she said she was gay out loud for the very first time. How was it _feasible_ for her to care more for Spencer than for me? Do I _not_ mean anything to her any more? _Was what we had…_ _Wasn't I… How can this be?_

Spencer's facial expression had told me that her thoughts were in disarray and she seemed to organize her thoughts before speaking, "I don't know how to tell you this without risking your feelings to be hurt…" she lifted the cup of coffee to her lips and swallowed a large amount of hydrochloric acid from it nervously, "First of all, I just want you to know that I'm really, really sorry for what I'm about to tell you. I…didn't know how to… Maybe you'll even disregard my apologies after you hear this, but I just want you to remember to keep in mind and know how sorry I am that I've kept this from you." She let out a breath and took another sip of her coffee before continuing, "Paige and I have been keeping in touch over the past two years after high school ended. We… I don't know exactly how to explain it…"

I felt my heart stopped. Are they…? How could this…have happened? A million thoughts ran through my head, and I had finally put two and two together. More like, putting _Spencer and Paige together_ and it all suddenly made sense. The way Spencer looked over to Paige's table. How hesitant Spencer was to walk over to our table at the Grille earlier. Why…Paige came over to our table. How Paige seem to be more affected by Spencer's news than mine even though it was of one and the same. _When did this happen? How did it happen? Why did it happen?_ I felt my heart break into millions of pieces a thousand times over. I couldn't breathe, and I felt my eyes brimmed with tears. _How could Spencer do this to me?_ I… My god, she was keeping this from me the entire time.

I didn't notice that Spencer had rushed over and had held onto both my arms, "Oh my god, Emily! No, it's not what you're thinking. Please, listen to me!" she said and tried to take me into her arms. I struggled against her and tried to fight her off me, but I felt almost too weak when I thought couldn't, and as I finally exerted the last strength in myself to push her off me, I started screaming. "Listen to you?! Are you kidding me? I thought we were friends! How could you do this to me?! You and Paige…? Really?! Of all people you had to do behind my back, you went to her?! You _know_ how much she means to me!" I spat the words out at her. She looked completely stunned and at a loss for words. Confusion loomed over her features.

She re-collected herself and I backed away from her as she took a step towards me, "_Me and Paige?_ What the _hell_ are you talking about, Em? I'm not – whatever you think we're doing – with her, Emily, we're just friends. That's what I was trying to tell you. We contact each other every once in a while. There's nothing more to that. We're just friends. I mean, _what the hell_, you of all people accusing me of a lesbian love affair with your ex-girlfriend? And with Paige? Seriously? Are you going out of your mind?"

I tried to make sense of what she had said, and when it had finally registered in my head, I ran into her arms and began apologizing and telling her how sorry I was for all the tumultuous commotion I just caused as I cried, "I'm so sorry, Spence. I thought… Oh god, what's wrong with me? _I'm so sorry_… It's just…seeing her again, I feel like I'm all over the place now. "

She held me in her arms and comforted me by telling me that she had forgiven me, while rocking us back and forth. I was overly sentimental at this point and my emotions had reached a height I couldn't just climb down from straightaway, so I just let myself be consoled by her. After about five minutes, I remembered that the coffee must've been completely brewed, so I stepped away from her and went back over to the coffeemaker to turn it off. I tried to pull myself together and took a mug out of one of the cabinets and slowly poured myself a cup. Afterwards, I tossed the paper coffee filter away. I added some French vanilla creamer and Splenda to my coffee before I went over and settled down next to Spencer at the kitchen island.

I felt awfully embarrassed about the entire situation so I just sat there quietly until Spencer decided to break the silence, "So am I forgiven for keeping my friendship with Paige hidden from you…?"

"After my little outburst there…I suppose you are. I really thought…" I trailed off.

"_I know_, and I don't know why you did, but that will never _ever_ happen, Emily." she reassured me before adding, "And here everybody thought that _I_ was the scary one… I feel so unreasonably misunderstood now that I've seen this fierce side of you. You definitely deserve to win the scary award now, killer." I blushed, and then the rest of my afternoon with Spence was history.

* * *

After I left Spencer's place around six in the evening, I went home and changed into my workout clothes, black spandex shorts and a matching sports bra, before I set out to go on an outdoor run. I just felt like I had to get rid of all the tensions and de-stress somehow, and what better way was there than doing some physical activity, right?

I stretched for ten minutes prior to the run and after about fifteen minutes into it, I had already gotten in two miles. I had jogged from my house down to the trail on the east side of town. When I finally saw the opening to the Big Tree trail, I just went on running. It's always hard during the first half an hour of the run, because you're always pushing yourself to keep on going. After that, it gets slightly easier because you're used to your fast beating heart, you stop feeling the intensity of the burn in your legs, and you've build a nice momentum you just don't want to lose. Time slows and whatever that keeps you going are in your thoughts.

As I ran past the giant Sequoias and further into the Big Tree trail, it began to open up and soon, the Lake Meadow was in sight. I kept running towards the bright light that had made it through the space between the timbers, and after about half a mile, I was rewarded with the view of the meadow and the lake in its entirety just as the sun was setting. The Lake Meadow was encompassed in greens and set in a picturesque setting surrounded by a field of wildflowers and a body of water that saturated the meadow with a scenic reflection. It had to be one of the most beautiful hidden places in Rosewood, and in fact, it was my favorite place to be when I'm not in the water. I had already slowed down and began walking over to the edge of the lake to admire the beauty of the water up-close. I sat down at a leisurely pace, stretched out my legs, and leaned back on both my hands to settle in a comfortable position for gazing at the panoramic view. The faint hint of wildflowers colored the air with such a beautiful scent that I couldn't help but closed my eyes to deeply breathe in the magical wonders of this setting. I opened my eyes and my mind was put to rest as I noticed that the sun had long disappeared, and in place were the moon and the stars. The sky was exquisitely clear, and I knew that once the moon would set later, the view of the stars anywhere else would not get any better than this. The night was punctuated with a light breeze that rippled the lake and I began to fall into a deep trance, getting lost in my own moonlit reflection in the water.

_The rippling water surface had created concentric circles that rippled out from the center, which was caused by some sort of impact as far as I knew. I tried to trace my way back to where the origin was through each of the ring of perfect waves on the smooth surface of the amazingly calm lake. As I did, my eyes fell upon the tall hourglass silhouette in the dark. The figure had emerged from the lake, water dripping tantalizingly off their body, head thrown back, with little clothing clung tight to the contour of their form, and I had only just made out the faint but heavy breaths coming from the shadow I saw before my eyes._

"_You're staring," the gentle voice was directed at me. I couldn't look away, not from the breathtaking sight before me._

"_Come here," I said and beckoned her towards me. Even with her graceful movements, the lacustrine ripples overwhelmed the body of water's entire surface area. We had been swimming lazily in the moonlit lagoon after the long day we both had. After a few moments, she had finally settled before me. We were both neck-deep in the water. My hands reached up and pushed back the strands of her hair that had clung to her face, and I began lightly tracing the outlines of her jaw with my fingers. She stared at me with a spirit of inquiry, unconsciously tilting her head a bit to the right, and I let my eyes wander over her lovely features. I lowered my hands from her jawline and delicately wrapped them around the nape of her neck. She encircled my waist with her arms and gently pulled me closer, closing the distance between us. The feeling of her hands on the skin of my lower back sent a burning sensation through every part of my body, and I willed my eyes to return to hers and held her closer to me, more intimately._

"_You are so beautiful." I confessed, baring my soul to her._

"_That is my line." she countered and a smile crept upon her face._

_I trailed my gaze down to her lips and then looked back up to see her staring at me with so much adoration in her eyes. I slowly leaned in and kissed her sweetly, grazing the wet skin that was exposed on the back of her neck as I did so. She leaned into my touch and I slowly let my hands wander down her form. I softly moaned at how amazing she felt against me, how her velvety skin felt against the pad of my fingers, and I felt her whimper in response. I began a trail of kisses down to her neck, taking my sweet time to search for her pulse, and kissing it softly when I had finally found it. Her hands ran through my wet hair and drew me closer against her neck, almost desperately. I brushed my lips against her skin one last time, before trailing kisses back up to her lips. I felt her sigh into the kiss and I pulled back, smiling goofily like a little kid._

"_Can we go lie down on the patch of grass?" I had asked._

"_Sure," she said and we both began paddling towards the edge of the lake. We both got out and she headed over to one of our bags and took out two towels and two blankets. She tossed a towel my way and I began to dry myself, while she set up the blanket on the grass. After she was done, she began to dry herself too and got a shirt out of her bag and quickly threw it on._

"_Do you want a shirt to put on?" she asked and I shook my head, "It's a warm summer night, and I'm feeling all right." She smiled and we both went over to lie down on the blanket as she draped the other one over our bodies. She was lying on her back with her left hand behind her head, and her right arm had wrapped around my shoulder as I had positioned almost half of my body on top of hers. I was lying on my left side, my head on her chest, my right arm around her midsection, and our legs were intricately entangled together. We gazed at the stars under the vast sky of possibilities, and I heard her softly humming a tune I couldn't put a name to._

"_Can you sing to me?" I said softly. I felt her looked down at me and responded, "What song?"_

"_The one you were humming just now. It sounds nice and soothing."_

"_Okay," she said and started singing softly._

"_Heart beats fast,_

_Colors and promises,_

_How to be brave,_

_How can I love when [you're] afraid to fall,_

_But watching [me] stand alone,_

_All of [your] doubt suddenly goes away somehow,_

_One step closer…_

_I have [lived] everyday waiting for you,_

_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more…"_

_She had changed some lyrics of the song. For me, time had somehow stopped and everything was perfect just the way they were in this world. I knew in that moment I'd love her forever if she'd let me._

I was jolted out of my trance when I heard my phone ringing, and I looked at it to see that it was a text message alert from my mom telling me that dinner will be ready at 7:30PM. I realized that I hadn't been here for long, probably a little over half an hour, as I looked around to see that tonight was exactly that of the one I had relived in my head. I sighed and then stood up, taking one last look at the mystical place before I started running three miles back home.

* * *

Mom and I had to cut our dinner short when Dad had called and said that he was free to Skype with her. I finished eating alone at the dinner table and washed the dishes before heading upstairs to my room. I was still in my workout clothes and a Danby t-shirt I had threw on when I got home before having dinner, so I guess there's no better time than now to hit the shower. As I rummaged through my closet to look for another t-shirt to wear to sleep, my eye caught sight of the grey tank top I had once wore to the karaoke bar to meet up with Paige long ago. I don't believe I ever wore it again after that night. I think I recall not wanting to get the tank top tainted or something like that. I glanced over to the digital clock sitting on the nightstand, and it read 7:51PM. It _is_ still early to turn in at this time… _Fine, why not?_

* * *

It was around 9:30PM as I walked into the Hungry Owl Tavern, and I headed straight for one of the open booths to the right once I set my foot inside the karaoke bar. It seems to be a little bit crowded tonight. People were chatting very loudly and laughing like old friends who haven't seen each other for a long time and couldn't wait to catch up with one another. The atmosphere is definitely more cheerful than I had remembered it to be the last time I was here. It still looks the same even after…what? Four years maybe?

My train of thoughts came abruptly to an end when a server came up and asked me if I wanted anything to drink, and I asked for the rum and coke with Bacardi white rum and diet coke. I glanced around the room after the waitress had left me alone, feeling less jumpy and fearful that _she_ might just walk through the door. I wasn't sure if she still comes here, and…well, we never came back after that first time we were here.

Suddenly, the music stopped playing and a female's voice came over the speakers and the once reverberating bar quieted down, "Thanks folks! My name is Jane and I'll be your host tonight. Alright, so let's get this karaoke party started! Who would like to come up and open the night for us?" she said enthusiastically as she began to scan the room. When her eyes settled on mine, she began grinning from ear to ear. I started to panic and tried to dismiss the feeling. Maybe if I look away, she'll set her eyes on someone else, so I did just that. But the next thing I knew, I heard her saying "Hey there, youngin'! Why don't you come up and show us what you've got?" I looked up and realized that Jane was still glancing my way, and I began to fervently shake my head while mouthing "No thanks!" She didn't seem to get the message though, because I saw her begin making her way over towards me, and from the way she was beaming at me, I knew that I was going to be put on the spot. "Come on, sugar! We all want to hear this beautiful girl here sing, don't we?" Jane spoke into the microphone and looked around the room, and the entire bar erupted in cheers of encouragement and they all clapped their hands fervently. I just couldn't stop thinking about how this was not the _right_ time. I mean, at least let me have my blood drown in alcohol first and then I'll be able to have the tiniest courage to go up onstage and sing in front of a crowd.

"They love you already! Come on!" she said as she took my hand and pulled me towards the stage. I guess I didn't have much of a choice after all.

"So what's your name, darlin'?" Jane asked and then gestured for me to speak into the microphone.

"Emily," I said nervously.

"Okay Emily, what song would you like to sing tonight?" she asked gleamingly.

"Um…" I thought about it and then answered "A Thousand Years by Christina Perri?"

"Hm," she pulled on a contemplative look before continuing, "That is an interesting song choice. Jack, you found the song yet? Okay, good. Let's give Emily a warm welcome, folks! Have fun, sweetie!" she smiled before giving me the microphone and walking downstage. It saddened me a bit that Paige wasn't the one that got me to go onstage this time around, because I think that's what I would've wanted…coming here tonight. Even after all this time… The tune started playing and I closed my eyes to remember the pair of brown eyes that I knew so well.

_Heart beats fast,_

_Colors and promises,_

_How to be brave,_

_How can I love when I'm afraid to fall,_

_But watching you stand alone,_

_All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow…_

_One step closer…_

_I have died everyday waiting for you,_

_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more…_

_Time stands still,_

_Beauty in all she is,_

_I will be brave,_

_I will not let anything take away,_

_What's standing in front of me,_

_Every breath,_

_Every hour has come to this,_

_One step closer…_

_I have died everyday waiting for you,_

_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more,_

_And all along I believed I would find you,_

_Time has brought your heart to me,_

_I have loved you for a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more…_

_One step closer…_

_One step closer…_

_I have died everyday waiting for you,_

_Darling don't be afraid I have loved you_

_For a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more…_

_And all along I believed I would find you,_

_Time has brought your heart to me,_

_I have loved you for a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more…_

Her eyes had blurred my vision because I was in tears by the time I had finished the song. The music kept on playing and the crowd erupted in applause and cheers, and Jane came up and put her arm around my shoulder, "Give it up for Emily! Girl, you poured your heart and soul out into that one. I've never heard anything so heartfelt before." The crowd brought the house down with cheers again and I finally stepped down the platform. I decided to go to the washroom to check that my make-up was still okay. As I stared in the mirror at my reflection, I found myself feeling better than I had all day after Paige had stepped into the Apple Rose Grille earlier today. It's only fair and appropriate that I begin to get used to seeing her around more now. We're going to be attending the same school and swim on the same team eventually. I let out a breath to calm myself and took a last look in the mirror before slipping back into the expectant boisterous room filled with lively patrons. The room was actually surprisingly quiet and a tune started playing.

I began walking towards the booth I was sitting at…until I heard _her_ sing. Am I dreaming again? My head had shot towards the stage, and there she was in all her entirety, eyes closed, hands grasping the microphone, and her voice so…mesmerizing.

_Lyin' here with you so close to me,_

_It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe._

_Caught up in this moment,_

_Caught up in your smile…_

_I've never opened up to anyone,_

_So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms._

_We don't need to rush this,_

_Let's just take it slow…_

_Just a kiss_

_on your lips in the moonlight._

_Just a touch_

_of the fire burning so bright._

_No I don't want to mess this thing up,_

_I don't want to push too far._

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life._

_So baby I'm alright,_

_with just a kiss goodnight._

_I know that if we give this a little time,_

_It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find._

_It's never felt so real,_

_no it's never felt so right…_

_Just a kiss_

_on your lips in the moonlight._

_Just a touch_

_of the fire burning so bright._

_No I don't want to mess this thing up,_

_I don't want to push too far._

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might,_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life._

_So baby I'm alright,_

_with just a kiss goodnight…_

_No I don't want to say goodnight…_

_I know it's time to leave,_

_but you'll be in my dreams_

_Tonight…_

_Tonight…_

_Tonight…_

_Just a kiss_

_on your lips in the moonlight._

_Just a touch_

_of the fire burning so bright._

_No I don't want to mess this thing up,_

_I don't want to push too far._

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life._

_So baby I'm alright,_

_oh, let's do this right,_

_with just a kiss goodnight…_

_With a kiss goodnight…_

_Kiss goodnight…_

When she had finally opened up her eyes, she was staring right into my mine. It almost felt like she was singing to me, about me, but I knew that it couldn't be. Yet the insinuation of those words and the way she had sung it, it's almost like way she used to sing to me when we were alone. It was so raw, she sounded so earnest, and there was so much passion when she sang that made me feel confused, not knowing whether to melt at those touching words or feel brokenhearted. I suddenly felt disoriented not knowing if that was _real_ at all… I headed towards the booth and sat down, my drink was already sitting on the table. I lifted up the drink to my lips, and took a sip, tasting all the flavors separately but enjoyed how they had blended nicely together. I tried to relax before I looked around the bar for her. There were so many people and it took me about two minutes before I spotted her sitting alone at a table behind the stage. Should I go over and say hi? Or should I maybe leave? I began mulling over the possibilities of what I should do, and I finally decided to just leave.

I lifted up the glass and put some cash under it before I set it back down and began to make my exit out of the karaoke bar. Once outside, I started making my way towards the car before I saw Paige bent over with her hands on the trunk of her own car. She had look like she was feeling a lot of discomfort because she appeared more pale than usual and I was able to discern it with the faint light in the dark. I rushed over to where she was and put a hand on her back, "Paige, are you all right?"

She looked up at me, squinting, almost as if she didn't recognize me. After a few seconds she finally spoke up, "Em… Hey... You're here..." her words slurred. Oh great, she's drunk. She was in no condition to drive home and there's no way that I'd let her do that.

"Where are your keys?" I asked straightaway.

"In my back…pocket…why-y?" she questioned even though she didn't look like she was expecting an answer.

"I'll drive you home," I said and began reaching into her back pockets to search for her car keys.

"Whoa-a..Em! Aren't we moving a bit…too fast?" she put forward. I found the keys and blushed at what she had just vocalized.

"Here, I'll help you get into the car," I said while I tried to help her stay balanced on her feet as we're moving to the passenger side of the car. I opened the door and helped her in, and then I walked over to the driver's side and got in too. Paige was trying to put on her seatbelt but seemed to be struggling with it, so I bent over and reached for the seatbelt and turned to look at where the buckle was, but then by accident, my face had hovered over hers, and our lips barely an inch apart. I gaped at her and she caught my stare, my face turning red. I'm not sure who made the move first, but the next thing I knew…

**A/N: Thank you for reading! :) I really appreciate it. Sincerely, Gloria. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Del: Thank you SO MUCH for your kind words. I think it's utterly beautiful that you can find it in your time to read this and...enjoy it the way you do. It's so amazing that the last chapter has reached out to you, because...I couldn't ever dream of that ever happening, that my writing could do this to you and others. It's really a blessing to me to see individuals like you enjoy this and go on this journey with me, because I don't feel so alone experiencing this world that I'm creating for them (Paige & Emily). You're very welcome to read this any time you like (not that I have a say in it or whatsoever) but thank you for reading! I love thoughtful reviews as this, because it's really nice to see that I'm not the only one enjoying the story as I write it. I get to read it again along with all of you too. I hope that you have a wonderful day ahead. :) I truly hope this chapter is up to par for you like the last.**

**TheShawmeister: Hey, hey, hey! YOU'RE not the one to talk when it comes to being "wude." Do you not realize how many times you've done that to me with your story? (I am assuming that this is the writer of Sky's The Limit.) But if you're not who I think you are, please accept my deepest apologies. And you know what? I thoroughly enjoy writing cliffhangers. The possibility is there and if you don't utilize, it's such a waste. ;) I truly hope you were squealing with excitement! Because it's about time someone squealed! hahahaha ;D I squirm in my seat whenever I read the chapter too, just so you know. I hope that you have a wonderful day after reading this! :)**

**Sazar: Long time no see! I sure remember you digging Em's insecurity. What's up with that? I think it's wonderful that you enjoy this. I really have no words for how thankful I am to see you come back and read. :) When you say you love Paily, I had hope that you meant THIS VERSION of Paily. ;) I hope you continue to fall in love with the story after you read this chapter, although it may be a bit hard when you've finished this update. It was really...something to write. Read the Author's Note if you wish to see why. I hope you have a wonderful day! :) **

**Jamscottroc54: I adore that facial expression! I wish I could actually see how you looked like when you read that last part. You know, I always want to continue when I get to the cliffhanger part but somehow I manage to have some sort of self-control and just leave it for the future updates. It's amazing what you can do while writing. Thank you for your amazing comment about the previous chapter. It was definitely emotionally exhausting to write! I listen to the songs while I'm reading, and it just touches my heart while I read it and then it all feels so surreal while I'm sitting there reading along with the rest of you guys. Thank you for loving it and continuing to support this story. It means a lot and I truly hope that you have a wonderful day ahead! :) **

**gigabyte1: I always feel so...spoiled when I get a review from you. ;) Even if you call me evil or whatever words your heart wishes to throw at me. I absolutely thought that the flashback was cute too. Mystical even. Like...it feels so much more real in my mind than in words. Does that make sense? Bet you didn't know that Emily was already there the entire time that Paige had just arrived huh? ;) You're wrong about one thing and you're right about one thing. You'll have to read to see what I mean. Thank you so much for reviewing each and every time I update. It's always so great to get feedbacks on how you're doing to improve the writing or change some things along the way to ameliorate the story. I hope that you have a beautiful day ahead! :)**

**HungryOwlTavern: I just LOVE your posting name. To tell you the truth...your username encouraged me to write that karaoke bar scene. I mean, I already had it written down as an idea but I wasn't sure how people would react to me writing it, and I decided to take a risk since I knew at least ONE person was a fan of the Hungry Owl Tavern. And for me, one supporter was good enough. Therefore, THANK YOU SO MUCH for ever reviewing and letting me come across your name to have the courage to risk writing that, which turned out...so amazing according to the feedbacks I've been receiving. Thank you for your lovely words and I hope that you can hang tight until next time. I also hope that you enjoy this chapter, if you can, and that you have a wonderful day ahead! :)**

**Michelle: First of all, thank you so much for reviewing. You are awesome. There are things boiling down and I sure hope you enjoy this chapter. I get a feeling you may not after reading what you had to say about them, but sit tight because more is coming. You'll understand why I said this after reading the chapter. But thank you again for your kind words and for taking the time to even read this at all. I just love individuals like you who take their time to give feedbacks and let me know if I'm on the right track, but I'm also writing for myself so I'm trying to make this an enjoyable ride for both the readers and me. :) I hope that you have a wonderful day ahead! **

**Baby Darth Dalloway: Gee, you're not giving me much to go on from... BUT thank you so much for reading and reviewing! It's absolutely wonderful that you enjoy it. I like to take out my time and tell my readers how much I appreciate them, and towards people who review I try to show my deepest sincerity because the feedbacks are always so neat. I hope you continue to like this story after this chapter. :) Have a wonderful day, alright? **

**bleedingsanity: Oh god, your words are like...they make me feel so humble and flattered. Those are very beautiful words you've just told me and I cannot thank you enough for allowing me to be on the receiving ends of that. :) I adore enchanting scenes and when I imagine these parts in my mind, they're very magical and serene, and that's how I like them to come out in my writing. I don't know if it exudes all of the mystics that I'd love to see people imagine or see when they read, but for me, it's just...it's the closest that I can get to that kind of feeling of enchantment, you know? I really hope that you stick with me after reading this chapter though because I just get this...feeling...that people won't be too fond of this update. The characters are just so...complex and I love to portray them as more than just Emily or Paige. I want them to have...more to them that meets the eye on TV. I think it's so wonderful you think that this is a beautiful story. I can't wait to see where I take us with this story too. Thank you for the support and words of encouragement! I hope that you have a beautiful day ahead of you! :) **

**Also, I'd like to give a shout-out to SUNNY. Thank you so much for your support! ;) **

**A/N: Here it is. This chapter just really came onto me...out of the blue. Recently, I've been dealing with a really hectic schedule and this honestly came together from bits and pieces during small breaks throughout this week, and in all truths, writing this is one of the little things in life that I enjoy so much. You guys know that I would update this ASAP if I truly could. Always. I really couldn't not write this. This was inspired from a Paily scene after Emily broke up with Paige, and she goes on to date other people. I usually don't ask this of you guys, but please review if you can and tell me if you like this temporary pairing and what you want to see in the next update. Plus, I'll give my sincerest response when you review, so...do it! (look at the paragraphs above!) I truly hope that you guys enjoy this nonetheless (Lots of things happening here!). I wouldn't be surprise if some of you are not too fond of this chapter though. ENJOY! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **

* * *

**Paige's POV**

"_Have you ever wondered how old you would be if you didn't know how old you are?" _

_I thought hard about the question, but every thing quiet and peaceful about this place had carried me faraway from the present moment. It never escaped my awareness of how enchanting this place was. There were wildflowers…and green grass…and big trees…and everything serene and beautiful that you can imagine in a picturesque setting. It's almost like a figment of my imagination, but it doesn't seem so, because it feels…real. Almost like you're in a wildflower field that would stretch for acres of miles, but here, you can actually see where the ends meet of this lovely meadow. Yet, there was something mystical about this kind of beauty. Something I couldn't lay finger on. How you could almost feel the spirits that weren't visible to the naked eye roam freely, but you don't feel haunted by their souls as they let their prevailing presence wander. Is that what she meant? To experience, but not know? To feel, but not understand? To live…and stop counting the days?_

"_No, I haven't. What prompted that question?" I asked with curiosity. _

"_Sometimes, I don't feel like…we're our age. Or at least…I don't feel that you are. They say that the eyes are the window to your soul and…" She stared at me thoughtfully before speaking again, "When I look into your eyes, it feels…as though you've existed for a much longer time and there's this whole other worldliness about you…like your soul is older than the amount of years you've lived. Almost like you've…roamed the earth for centuries, and then…somehow, you came back to be with me." _

_I lifted my hands off the ground that was supporting my upper body's weight from the sitting position I was in to lean down and give her a sideway kiss. As I pulled away, she lifted her head up from my lap and gently grabbed me by the nape of my neck to pull my head back down. I followed suit and kissed her tenderly, tasting every inch of her flesh. Her lips tasted and smelled just like her. So intoxicating…and so sweet… I paused and withdrew my lips from hers, but I was still close enough to feel her heavy breathing against my mouth, "That was beautiful." I said before leaning in for a light kiss and then gradually falling back into my previous sitting position. She smiled at me like she had just woken up from a sweet dream, and I felt my heart stopped. It was like I had caught lightning in a bottle. _

"_Can I ask you another question?" she asked again. _

"_Well, aren't you full of inquiries today?" my body slightly trembled as I chuckled. _

"_Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?" _

"_Hm…which would you prefer?" I asked, because I needed more time to think about it._

"_I would rather never be able to make new memories. I don't want to forget…this and every part of how we came to be. I want to keep you in my thoughts forever... I think I'd be devastated if I had to live the rest of my life not remembering what I had with you." she revealed and carried on, "I asked you the question, so now it's your turn to answer." _

"_I'd choose to lose all of my old memories." I saw the way her eyes had saddened by my words before I continued, "Although it'd be nice to remember everything, I know that I wouldn't need my old memories to have known the life I had lived knowing you, because every time that I look at you, you make me feel so much, like I'm falling in love for the first time all over again. Someone once told me… You can forget how someone looks. You can forget what people have done. You can forget the words that have been said. But you will never forget the way that people have made you feel. The way that…you…make me feel, Emily Fields. Just like you've said earlier, I'll find my way back to you no matter the lost of memories. And when I find you, I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you by making new memories with you each and every day. We'll be each other's halves…you can remind me of the old days while I tell you the stories of our future. Together, we'll be able to keep our old memories and make new ones. What do you say?" I smiled as I finished my little impromptu speech. _

"_Yes," she uttered and I smiled at the double meaning that her answer conveyed. _

"_Now, can I ask you a question?" I began before she can say anything else. She nodded so I continued, "Has your greatest fear ever come true?"_

_She looked deep into my eyes for a long time, and I realized the answer._

_She would never lose me. Not if I can help it. _

_I was about to tell her just that, but the sky started falling and the entire place began spinning out of control with the wind rotating violently, and I quickly clasped both of my hands onto her arm as the storm tried to separate us forcefully. I held onto her limb dearly as if my life depended on it, but the windstorm was relentless and Emily and I were torn apart…and then, she disappeared. _

"_Emily_!" I screamed as I sat bolt upright with a throbbing pain in my head. I looked around and noticed that I was sitting in my car _alone_ on the passenger side. Confusion settled in as I tried to adjust to the new setting I was in. _Why am I…here?_ I squinted my eyes and looked out the window to my right to see that my car was parked right in front of my house. I lifted my hands up to my head to rub my temples in hope of recalling what had happened to me. Quick flashes of the Hungry Owl Tavern karaoke bar, a couple of drinks, and me singing penetrated my thoughts, then _her eyes_ appeared… I looked around again, hoping that I'd find her, but she was nowhere to be seen. _So it was just a dream after all…_ I closed my eyes and fell back into the passenger seat, letting out a deep breath as I did so. It was awfully confusing to relive such a fond memory I had of us in a dream... When I breathed back in, I noticed a faint lavender smell in the air...only it couldn't be the scent that I had thought it was. There's only one person I know who wore that sweet smell...and it couldn't possibly be hers. _I must be hallucinating from all of that alcohol._ But…there's still one thing I didn't understand. _How on earth did I end up back here?_ …I must've driven home in my drunken state…but how? Wow, that is truly impressive and I couldn't even remember it. _That's just great, McCullers_. I brought up a hand to rest on my forehead and shook away the thoughts in my head. _God, I feel so awful_. _How many drinks did I have? _I looked over to the time on the dashboard and saw that it was 6:04AM. _Oh crap, it's morning already?_

* * *

After I quietly slipped back into the house, I had made it up to my room and showered in good time. I went over to check on Sammie and saw that she was still asleep, and since I couldn't find it in myself to fall asleep again after lying in bed for the past half an hour, I decided to walk to The Brew and grab some coffee.

I lifted up my left arm to see the time on my watch, and it read 7:37AM. The warm light of the morning sunrise had casted a dream-like glow over the town of Rosewood. It was going to be a good morning, it seems. The sun had rose, the morning's light breeze ruffled the dark-green leaves on the trees, and probably half the town was already up and ready to kick-start the day with a cup of coffee or tea. Today was going to be a good day indeed.

I was about a block away from the café when it finally came into sight. I let out a sigh of relief that it wasn't packed this morning, because I had actually wanted to sit down and enjoy my coffee there. When I got to the front of the coffee shop, I pulled the door open and walked in. There were about four people in line. I looked around to see where there were unoccupied tables, and I spotted a few near the window that looked out at the town and some further towards the back of the café. After a few minutes, it was finally my turn to order.

"Good morning, what can I get started for you today?" the man asked. He looked fairly happy at this kind of hour, but I was grateful that he was all the same. It was nice that they don't have to wear uniforms, because they look more friendly and fitted in with the rest of us who didn't work here. The only thing that distinguished them was the green barista apron they had on.

"Hi," I smiled and continued, "Can I have a…soy caramel macchiato?" I was still squinting at the chalkboard behind his back as I tried to decide what Sammie would've liked, but then I remembered that I had wanted to sit here for a bit before heading back home so I figured I'll grab something for her on my way out.

"What size, Miss?" he asked.

"Oh, um, I think medium will be fine." I responded.

"And would that be for here or to go?" he inquired.

I laughed and then said, "For here. I'm so sorry, I should've told you all of that at once."

"No, no, it's not a problem at all. It's still early in the morning, and I completely understand." he smiled sincerely at me and then added, "Well, would you like anything to eat?"

"No thanks, I think I'm good for now." I said and paid.

"Go ahead and take a seat. I'll bring the drink to your table once it's done." he mentioned.

"Thanks," I said as I made my way over to one of the tables by the window. I set my messenger bag down onto the chair across from me before I went over to sit on the other side. I looked to my left and saw a few people walking on the sidewalk, passing each other with greetings as the morning was already on its way. I smiled at how peaceful and lovely it was just sitting here, enjoying the pleasantry the morning had to offer for everyone, myself included. I turned around and looked back over and saw how busy the café has gotten after my arrival. I ran my hand through my hair as I swiveled back to my earlier position in my seat but as I was doing so, I caught a pair of hazel eyes fixated on me.

I let my eyes wander over her dirty blonde tresses and how the wavy lock stopped about three inches past her arms. I continued to stare as I noticed a silky white patterned u-neck blouse that clung loosely to her figure underneath the grey knitted cardigan that hung open. I let my gaze trail down her dark-blue denim skinny jeans clad legs to the brown two lips warrior mid calf leather boots she had on, and then finally let my eyes travel up the length of her body and back to her eyes. She was smiling now, almost looking like she was gratified with the once-over I had just given her. I felt a blush spread across my face as realization set in of what I had just done. I smiled sheepishly her way before turning away from embarrassment. _Holy…wow, she was pretty. Who was she? How come I don't recall ever seeing her before?_

"You know, it's fairly impolite to stare and not come over and say hello," I looked up to see the same pair of hazel eyes I've noticed earlier staring back at me. My eyes widened a bit and I opened my mouth in an attempt to say something, but nothing ever came out. She laughed, almost melodiously, and carried on, "I was joking, but really, it would've been nice if you had came over and said hi." _Wow. _She was even more alluring when she smiled.

"Well, hi, I'm Paige." I managed to get out before standing up almost falling over from rising too quickly, but she had reached out her arms in good time to catch me before I fell forward on my face. It felt like we were embracing, but not quite, because my hands were holding onto her shoulders, and I felt her hands holding onto my waist. She smelled of cherry blossom, and I scented a hint of sweetness I couldn't identify, but the floral smell was beginning to make my head spin a bit so I finally decided to step back to gain my balance and composure. "Sorry, I'm usually not…this flat-footed," I confessed. She smiled understandingly before releasing me and taking one step back as well.

"I'm Audra. _Audra Reed_. It's nice to meet you, Paige…?" she said and arched one of her eyebrows in question.

"McCullers." I finished.

"I was wondering…if this seat was taken?" her eyes gestured to the one across from mine, and I shook my head and bent over to grab my messenger bag to put it in my chair.

"Nope, go ahead and sit…" I said and we both sat down simultaneously. At the same time, the barman had came over and set down our drinks. We thanked him and he left us to ourselves.

"So, what brought you here at this early hour?" she asked and I watched as she ran a hand through her long blonde tresses as a few rays from the sunlight shined through the window and onto her, almost like a spotlight. So… Geez. _Could she get any more stunning than this?_

"Well…" I said and thought back to the night before and how I woke up this morning, "I couldn't get back to sleep after waking up this morning, so I decided to just come here for a nice cup of coffee." I wasn't…lying. It was pretty much the whole truth without all the awful details that I'd prefer not to reveal, especially to a stranger like her. _Why was she even speaking to me?_ I couldn't help but wonder. "What about you?"

"I have a nine o'clock morning class to get to at Hollis, so I'm here to start off my day with some caffeine." she said and I ponder over how I didn't think of that earlier. So she's a student at Hollis, must be from another town, no wonder I haven't seen her here before.

"Oh, what are you studying there?" I asked, showing interest. Well, I'm definitely curious now after this little meet and greet situation but that didn't stop me from trying to be watchful about how eager I might've put off. I've always been fascinated by meeting new people, let alone a beauty quite like her, and I really didn't want to scare her off, not like that wasn't happening already but I wanted to be sure. I wasn't even certain why I was being careful or concern about how she perceived me. _Get your head out of the gutter, Paige._

She gave me a pensive look before going on, "What makes you think that I'm a student there?"

"Uh, well, you're…not?" I asked, slightly confused at the implications of her question. "Wait…that doesn't make sense unless…"

"I teach at Hollis," she said and a grin appeared on her lips.

"Wow! You look…"

"Nothing short of a Hollis professor? …Thanks!" she added and chuckled to herself. I slowly nodded with eyes widen, mouth agape with incredulity. How are her students capable of paying attention in class with her teaching? That is totally unfair. I already felt so sympathetic thinking about how they were dealing with passing the class accompanied by this kind of distraction.

"Well that, and how… I don't mean to sound superficial, but I already feel quite sorry for those kids you're teaching. How are they ever going to manage passing your class?" I smiled and shook my head back and forth, still in disbelief at the newfound information of my new acquaintance.

She looked at me gleamingly and said, "Why thank you, I'll take that as a compliment. You don't look _too_ unrealistic yourself." She bit her lower lip before letting her eyes drift down and back up my form appreciatively. _Did she just…? Is she…? Was I seeing things again? Seems like the hangover hasn't gone away yet. _I blinked a few times, collecting my thoughts and then spoke to her.

"What class are you teaching at Hollis?" I asked.

"English. I have 9 o'clock morning classes on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. They're pretty quiet classes I have to say, and mind you, the students are doing fairly well even though it's a fast pace class, owing to the fact that it's a summer course. They understand the materials better than I presumed they would in such a short amount of time. It's a nice transition from nonfiction to fiction literature. I taught at Hollis during the spring semester too, and it was quite frustrating when I was teaching the non-fiction literature course." she had went on.

"So do you commute to Rosewood from somewhere far away, or do you reside in town?" I queried.

"Oh no, I have my own apartment here. I moved from Baltimore, Maryland after I got a job offer at Hollis. I've grown to like this town quite a bit though. It's a sweet little town. What about you? I've never seen you before in the last half a year or so that I've been here, and I'm sure I know most of the people in this town. You must be a newcomer." she looked at me curiously.

"Actually, I was born and raised in this town. I've started college two years ago, so that's where I've been except for holiday breaks when I come back here to visit. I'm sorry, but do you mind me asking how old you are? I'm pretty much prepared to be shocked." I said as a matter of fact and smiled. I don't think I've ever wiped off that goofy grin from the moment she sat down across from me.

"Twenty-four. You do look like a student…and I was really hoping you didn't go to Hollis. So, where are you doing your undergraduate study at?" she questioned.

"U Penn. and I pretty much live in the city when I go to school, and for athletic related reasons too may I add." I answered. _She hoped I wasn't attending Hollis? I wondered what she meant by that._ "Where did you study at for your undergraduate degree?" I asked.

"U Penn.? Wow, now that's a name I don't hear very often around here with Hollis being the closest college in town. I went to John Hopkins. I did my masters there too, hence the amount of teaching experience I've gotten under my belt at the age of twenty-four. I'd like to think that I'm good at what I do though, that is if you don't mind some vanity coming from me," she joked and giggled after she finished what she was saying.

"No, not at all. On a side note, there are actually three other girls in town that will be attending U Penn. with me for the upcoming fall term, and _two_ of them are individuals I had grown up with too. But back to what you were saying, that is truly impressive. You've definitely made an impression on me ever since you called me out…for checking you out so blatantly earlier." I decided to put forward. I really hope I was picking up on the right vibe, and it may be crazy, but here was the opportunity and why waste it. I stared at her with as much confidence as I can conjure, and finally after a few seconds, I caught sight of her smirk.

Right before she could speak, I saw her eyes looking past me. I looked over my shoulder to see Aria staring our way. I waved at her and she returned the greeting. I turned around to see that Audra was staring from me to Aria and her eyes had finally fallen back on me.

"A friend of yours?" Audra asked dubiously. I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, she's…a friend of a friend. So I guess that makes her my friend as well. Plus, we all grew up together and went our different ways when we all went off to college. She goes to Hollis too by the way."

Audra slowly nodded, processing what I have just said, I believe.

"I think I'm going to go over and say hi," I said and before I stood up to go, she reached over and placed her hand on top of mine, "Wait." I heard her say. She retracted her hand

and began, "How do you feel about having dinner with me tomorrow night?" she asked. I looked at her inquisitively and grinning a little, "You mean…as friends?" I questioned. She chuckled and shook her head, "No…I meant if you'd like to go on a date with me." I tried not to appear so shock, but I must've failed because I saw how worrisome she was becoming and the words escaped me, "I'd love to." She smiled warmly at me before I saw her pull out a piece of paper and began scribbling down what I thought was her name and number, and then handed it to me, "Give me a call tomorrow of when and where you'd like to go. I should be free after three in the afternoon." she said before she stood up with her drink and I watched her go back to sit at her table.

I folded the small piece of paper and tucked it away into the right front pocket of my jeans before I made my way over to the couch where Aria was sitting at. She saw me coming over and smiled at me.

"Hey, you're up early for a summer day." she started.

"About that…why are you here? Isn't it early for you too? I think I recalled how cranky you were back in high school when we had morning classes together." I let out a small laugh as I reminisced on the good old days. "Mind if I sit?"

"Of course not, make yourself comfortable…on this lovely cozy couch that's not mine." she smiled casually.

"I will gladly do so." I smiled and sat on her right side while shifting my body towards her before I continued, "You haven't given me answers yet and I'm still quite curious why you've suddenly become an early bird. Is this a habit now?"

"Oh no, I was just…in the neighborhood." she said and smiled sheepishly. Whatever it was, it appeared she wasn't going to share it with me. That didn't bother me in the slightest bit, because I wasn't as curious as I have put off. I _did_ give her a knowing look that I knew she was hiding something but that I wasn't going to press any further.

"So…who was that girl you were speaking to earlier?" Aria asked as her gaze shifted over to where Audra was sitting.

"Oh, we just met actually. Her name is Audra and she actually teaches at Hollis." I replied.

"Really? You guys looked quite cozy sitting with each other earlier. She looks…" Aria trailed off.

"Stunning? Like she should go modeling instead? Yeah, I sort-of implied that earlier in our conversation but she seemed really humble about it and just brushed it off like it wasn't a factor that she wanted people to take an interest in her," I said as matter of fact.

"Wow, you two must've really gotten to know each other quite well." Aria looked a bit taken aback as she said this.

"Oh no, well at least, not yet… Anyways…I have a question, but I don't know if you'd feel too comfortable answering it." I suddenly proposed out of the blue.

"Shoot." she just went ahead and said.

"Do you know if…she's still upset with me over what happened…back then?" I asked unclearly, but I knew that she'd comprehend what I was saying nonetheless.

Aria looked at me contemplatively before answering, "Honestly? …I think you should ask her that yourself," and I noticed how her gaze had left me and shifted to the entrance of The Brew. I looked over and saw that Hanna and Emily were walking through the door towards us. I looked back at Aria and realization set in of what had just happened and she smiled mercifully. _I got played._ She knew the entire time and was stalling me until they got here. I snickered out loud and opened my mouth to say something, but I just ended up shaking my head in disbelief. I was _so_ not ready to go through this again, and _alone_ might I add. But too late for that, because I could hear the resounding echo of heels grow louder and abruptly stopped before us. I looked up and was surprised to be met with a pair of warm brown eyes instead of blue. _Oh man…how that look always gets me…_

I closed my eyes to regain some sort of self-control before willing them to open again, "Good morning," I said to both of the new arrivals. Hanna looked at me in an unusual way as if confused that I was actually talking to her, and Emily looked…happy? _What_? Well if this wasn't strange, I don't know _what_ was.

"Morning Paige," Emily responded and smiled my way. _What?_

I looked around to try and seek out if anybody else was as confused as I was. _Did she just voluntarily greet me happily…with a smile?_ Or had I just imagined that like I did with all of my other thoughts the entire morning? Fortunately, I wasn't the only one with a puzzled facial expression, because they were evidently manifested on both Aria and Hanna's as well.

"So can you guys scoot over or do you expect us to stand here all day?" Hanna asked nonchalantly. Before both Aria and I could move to one side of the couch to make room for them, Hanna had decided to plop down right next to Aria, leaving one more spot open to my right. I wondered if that was intentional… Emily didn't seem bothered by it and just walked around to my side and sat down next to me, although there were about two inches between us. I just couldn't believe that this was happening. I had never saw this coming. I felt like my body was going into panic mode and all I wanted to do was flee the scene. I mentally crossed out how this was going to be a good morning, because everything feels all set to slide down the slope. Aria and Hanna were already having their own conversation about something, and I couldn't find it in myself to make out what they were saying, seeing that I was clearly distracted by the girl to my right. Suddenly, both girls had stood up and turned towards us.

"Hey Em, what do you want to drink?" Hanna asked her.

"Medium soy vanilla latte," she said as she reached for her purse but Aria spoke up, "It's okay, I got it." They went over to the coffee bar, and then there were two…

"Look…" I started as I turned towards her and saw her staring at me in a way I thought I'd never see her look at me again. In addition to that, she looked quite a bit concerned too. I blinked frantically trying to make sense of what was happening and composed myself, then continued, "I was talking to Aria earlier…and I asked her a question, but she advised me that it would be a better idea to get the answer from you." Her brow furrowed and she looked at me expectantly, "Go on," she said.

So I continued, "I wanted to know if…" but before I could finish, I was cut off by Audra's arrival. There goes every bit of courage I had left in me to ask the question I've been dying for an answer to in the past two years.

"Hey, you left your bag over there and I wasn't sure if you were coming back to your table, so I thought I'd bring it over to you on my way out." she said while handing me my messenger bag that I left back at the table by the window.

"Thanks, I completely forgot about it when I came over here," I said staring at her and carried on, "You're leaving now?" She nodded and was about to leave after waving goodbye when I reached out and held onto her wrist slightly. "Let me walk you," I said. Her entire face lit up when she smiled, and I suddenly found it so adoring. _Oh god, I just feel so…confused right now. _Here's the girl I used to date, and on the other hand, here's the girl I'm going on a date with the next day. I was scared and I really didn't know what else to do. How was I supposed to sit there with Emily and not feel terrible about everything? I couldn't face her yet. Not now. So I stood up and tug the strap of the bag over my shoulder before turning to Emily and say, "This is…Audra," I said introducing them, "And Audra, this is Emily."

"It's nice to meet you Emily," she said and Emily nodded.

"Likewise, Audra." she responded curtly.

"I have to go, but I'll save that question for later... I'll see you around?" Emily seems confused but she nodded and by the looks of it, she wasn't going to press any further.

I walked past Hanna and Aria and waved goodbye, then I pulled the front door open for Audra and me. We walked out of the coffee shop, and Audra gestured with her hand to the right that she was heading in that direction. It wasn't the same way that I was heading, but I decided to walk with her anyways.

"Thanks for walking me to my car," she said to break the silence after a minute or so.

I turned her way and smiled, "It's no big deal. So, I was thinking…how does dinner at the Apple Rose Grille at 7:00PM tomorrow night sounds to you? I could pick you up." _What are you doing, Paige? Stop playing by the script and go back to Emily. Go sort things out. Go! _

She looked away thoughtfully before returning her attention back to me, "That sounds perfect. I'll text you my address after you give me a call."

Before I knew it, we were standing next to her car. "Well, don't enjoy tormenting your students too much, they need a break every once in a while as well," I blathered on. She stared at me in a thoughtful way and leaned in slowly, giving me a light kiss on my right cheek before I felt her breath on my ear whispering, "Don't worry, I won't." I gulped audibly and she stepped back smiling sweetly at me.

Audra had finally got into her car and drove away as I turned around and made my way back home. _What had this day come to? What have I done?_

* * *

It was about nine when I came home to Sammie pestering me about where I've gone and why I had _forgotten_ to grab her something at The Brew too. We spent a good amount of time talking about what I did the night before, this morning when I woke, and what had happened when I went to the café. When I brought up Emily, she seemed surprise that I had almost had a real conversation with her. That was while Sammie and I were sitting at the kitchen island having breakfast that she had just made for the both of us.

"So you just left her sitting there by herself, leaving with this girl that you had barely met? Gee Paige, way to act like nothing had happened between you two." Sammie said before taking a bite out of her French toast.

"The girl's name is Audra for the last time. And no, I didn't just leave her there by herself. Both Aria and Hanna were still present in the café, and I just really lost all the courage I had mustered up when Audra walked over with my bag. I don't know, Sammie…" I tried to find an escape route out of this conversation before saying, "It's just…there's something about Audra that makes me want to believe that nothing had happened, that everything in the past does not matter any more, and I want to give it a try with her, you know?" I said while swirling the orange juice in the mug that I was holding in my right hand.

Sammie rolled her eyes before saying, "Yeah. That's exactly along the lines of what you said to me months ago about Taylor, and Ashley, and Shannon, and Adrianne, and Kristen, and – "

"Okay, okay! Geez you make me sound like I'm such a horrible person." I pouted and put down the cup of orange juice I was holding.

"Hey, you can't blame a girl for being right. Especially if I've been listening to all this nonsense for the past two years." she plainly stated and proceeded, "So stop trying to make yourself _believe_ that nothing had happened and then go _act _like nothing had happened, because honey, you know what the deal is? I hate to be harsh and break it to you, but I'd _really_ like to make this clear for the last time before I leave: Things have happened between you and Emily, and you need to face the reality of it, accept it, and move on. Especially if she's, like, sitting there right next to you. _My god_, do you not realize how long you've been anticipating for that moment to come? The opportunity threw itself at you right before your feet, and you just foolishly kicked it aside as if chances like that will come to you every so often. You definitely need a reality check."

I widen my eyes and lifted my eyebrows, "Wow, way to throw all subtlety out the window and go straight for the part that hurts the most…" I mumbled.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, Paige." she sternly said before reaching over and squeezing my left hand with her right, "I'm just really concerned… and then having to leave you here in the midst of all this chaos, I feel like such a horrible friend to you." I saw the way her eyes had saddened and I told her, "I'll be fine. It's just two months and we'll both be back at U Penn. together."

"Why don't you come with me to California?" she asked all of a sudden.

"As much of a great idea that I think it sounds, I believe I'll feel safer here." I said jokingly and laughed.

"Oh, come on! I promise I'll do my best to stop Nial from harassing you. I'll even threaten to –" I stopped her before she could get another word in, because Sammie could get really aggressive and ruthless when it came to threats, "It's okay, Sammie. We all know what you're capable of… I just really think it's better to stay in Rosewood. Like you mentioned earlier, what if I miss out on another chance of reconciling my relationship with Emily? I mean, not in the romantic sense, but…I'd really like for us to be friends again. I honestly wasn't…prepared when the…right set of circumstances crept onto me earlier." _And you're right. It's been bothering me for years, and it's time to put an end to all of this grief I've been keeping inside. _

Sammie looked like she was absorbing all the words I had just said and finally spoke, "You promise you'll talk to me if something's wrong? I'll be a phone call away." I nodded her way and we went back to our breakfast in silence. I was definitely going to miss having her around in this small town.

* * *

After I had dropped Sammie off at the airport and made my way back to Rosewood by noon, I decided to stop by Hollis to see if I could catch Audra and cancel our date tonight in person. I already felt really awful about calling off the date, so the least I could've done for her is let her know face-to-face. The conversation that I had with Sammie yesterday morning had really stuck with me and I felt like it was the best thing to do. As I parked my car in the visitor's parking lot, which limited visitors to only an hour of parking, I looked around to see that the school was bustling with college students. I felt like I caught sight of some familiar faces, and I turned off the engine and stepped out of the car. I slowly made my way to the entrance of the school to see that there was a map. There were various buildings and I really couldn't discern which was the English department, so I decided to look around and spotted a sign that read "Administrative Building" and headed in that direction. I opened the door and walked in, seeing a woman maybe in her fifties typing away at the keyboard. I saunter over to where she was and cleared my throat. She looked up at me and asked, "Can I help you, Miss?"

"Uh, yeah… I was wondering…do you happen to know where the English department is located? I'm looking for a teacher that works in that wing. Her name is Audra Reed?" I asked.

"Let me see…" she said before looking over at the map and a list of names I did not recognize. "Here's a copy of the map of the school," she said as she circled one of the buildings, "and that's where the English department is at. Her office is Room 209 so she should be on the second floor of the building. You just head out of here and take a right and keep going straight until you see a breezeway, go through it and then take a sharp left, and then you'll see that building will be on your right. Just look at the map if you don't remember the directions and you should eventually be able to find your way there."

"Thank you so much, you've been such a great help. Thank you!" I said, trying to show my deepest appreciation for her help. She was surprisingly nice and accommodating.

"No problem, now off you go unless there is anything else I can help you with?" she asked.

"No, thank you, that's it for me. Thank you again, I hope that you have a wonderful day." I said as I began walking away. "You too, dear." I heard her say before I was out the door. I took a right after I was outside and went straight like she had instructed. The sun was out and I guess it's lunchtime because all the students are sitting at various places around school eating and chatting with their friends. It's a nice atmosphere around here during summertime. I never would've known. When I passed through the breezeway between two buildings, I made a left and then saw the sign that read "English Department" right above the entrance into the building on my right. I began walking towards the opening and then walked in. There was a faint hint of cedar wood and I noticed that there were students sitting in the lounge to my right watching another student playing the piano. It almost felt like a familiar tune but I couldn't put a name to it, even so I thought it was a really nice song. The guy that was playing appeared to be really good too…until he started singing and utterly blew me away. The words were so…relatable to how I felt at the moment. It's almost as if that inner voice was singing to me from the inside, telling me how I've been feeling all along. Lost. Wandering. Searching for something. _Maybe someone…_

"_I've been roaming around,_

_Always looking down at all I see…_

_Painted faces, _

_fill the places I can't reach._

_You know that I could use somebody…_

_You know that I could use somebody…_

_Someone like you, _

_And all you know, _

_And how you speak,_

_Countless lovers under cover…of the street…_

_You know that I could use somebody…_

_You know that I could use somebody…_

_Someone like you…_

_Oh whoa oh…_

_Oh whoa oh…_

_Oh whoa oh…"_

Oh sweet baby Jesus, his voice was so melodious and kept me wonderfully enraptured until I heard a voice from behind me, "Paige?" I turned around to see Audra standing there with eyes widened a bit but with a smile on her lips. I smiled and walked towards her and she asked me with an amused look on her face, "What are you doing here? And how did you know where to look for me?"

"I…" I began to look away, trying to find the right words to say, but how could you come up with fair words to say when you're trying to call off a date? I took a breath and I licked my lips unconsciously to moisten them, and look back at her, "I'm sorry but I have to cancel tonight." It didn't take her very long to process what I had just said, and an expression of concern crossed her face, "Why? Is there something wrong?" Oh man, this is much harder than I thought. How do I break it to her that I can't do this to her? To me? It's not fair to either of us. That I may possibly still have feelings for an ex-lover and I'm trying to work things out. Maybe I should just tell her that. Why does this make sense in my head but so hard to say aloud? I leaned my weight back and forth on both my feet trying to find a balance or maybe hoping that the ground beneath me would disappear and I'll fall into a dark abyss from playing such ruthless games with girls that don't deserve these kinds of treatment from me. I honestly didn't realize how much damage I had caused until Sammie confronted me in such a serious manner yesterday morning. It had struck a chord and violently resonated through me, shaking me out of the delusion I have willed myself to live in to escape the bad deeds I've done in the past.

"I thought it over, and I really think it'd be unfair to you if I mislead you into thinking that this could go somewhere. I'm still trying to work things out with an ex and until then, I don't think it'd be fair to you if I agree to go on this date if I have issues I need to resolve first." I finally said. It was a mouthful and wasn't everything I wanted to say, but I had hope I got the main point across.

She looked at me contemplatively, as though trying to make sense of what I was saying or possibly trying to decide what to say. After a long time, she spoke up, "Are you still in love with her?" I don't know why but that question took me by surprise. How was I supposed to answer that? _It's complicated_ was what I wanted to say.

"I don't know… I haven't seen her for more than two years and now that she's showed up again, I feel as though her presence stirs how I feel inside. When we parted, we left things in shambles, and there were a lot of unanswered questions and hurt feelings. I really want her forgiveness and I'm still trying to figure out how to even stand before her and apologize. I've done this whole dating scene for a long time and never really saw how destructive it was for the girls I used to know. I like you, Audra, and I would feel very awful if I did that to you. You don't deserve to be treated that way, especially by someone like me. You're beautiful, and kind, and charismatic, and I'm sure there is someone out there that will be more worthy of your time." I concluded.

"Look Paige… I don't want or need you to tell me what's fair and what's not. I'm really grateful that you could be open about this with me. It's definitely disconcerting for me to know about this person you had a past with because…I really like you. I feel conflicted having to leave things like this, and I know that you don't want to start this with me, but I'm willing to take the chance. I'm willing to go through the trials with you and fix the troubles that you have, because I care for you and when things don't work out I'll be able to live with that, that is if you'll let me. I may come off a bit too strong, but I've already passed up on a lot of opportunities and if I let this one go too, it's just…I don't know if I could live with one more you know? I hope I'm not freaking you out too much."

_Wow, I really had no words to say_. "I don't know what to say…" I uttered.

"Say yes. _Give me a chance_. Give _us_ a chance. I know we can't start off with blank slates now that we have come clean about how we feel, but just give the both of us this window of opportunity. A chance at a start of something new. Take a chance with me." she said convincingly. I let my eyes wander anywhere but her, and I noticed that the lounge was empty and so were the hallways in plain sight. _This is it_. I finally looked back to her and saw how hopeful she was and possibly how afraid she could be if she actually felt all those feelings she had just revealed to me.

"Okay." I finally said and closed my eyes, wondering if it was such a good idea but how could I possibly turn her down after that? Who could possibly reject her? I opened my eyes to see her staring at me, and I felt so blessed that another human being like her could care for me in this way. What have I done to deserve this?

_Sammie's going to kill me if she ever finds out, that's the only thing I think I'm sure of as of this moment. _


	10. Chapter 10

**Jamscottroc54: It's almost Christmas! God, you make me so happy every time I see your review. You're one of my favorite readers/reviewers too! I wouldn't say Paige is easily swayed, but I think she really has a soft spot, you know? I mean, how could you say no to Audra after she's said all of those sweet things? It wasn't my intention to make her a likable character, but it came out that way. You will DEFINITELY find out what happened between Em and Paige that night. hahaha I hope you don't kill me when you do... ;) I agree with you though, they totally need to have the talk. Thank you for loving the previous chapter! I hope you will love and enjoy this one as well! ;) Have a good day, alright?**

**gigabyte1: Thank you for loving the previous chapter! I was afraid nobody was going to like it. I thought it was pretty messed up when Paige left with Audra too. Like, who does that you know? But when you look at it from another standpoint, Paige was scared and she lost the courage to talk to Em, so I guess that was understandable to some degree. I'm really surprised that you don't like Audra. I'd say she's a likable character. I would've assumed you to be one of those people that would want to see Paige/Audra pairing. hahaha I feel like Paige had changed quite a bit and there's something about her that draws other people in, you know? Maybe that's possibly why Audra seemed so attracted to her. I'm sorry I couldn't have updated sooner, but here it is. And I REALLY hope you enjoy this chapter! Have a good day! ;) **

**Sazar: Thank you for always reading and supporting this story! It will always mean a lot to me. Honestly, I didn't know where to take this thing with Audra at first, but I think I have a clearer vision now of where it would go. I think it's wonderful that you like Audra. A lot of people either do or don't. It doesn't seem like anybody's feeling neutral about her. I tried to make her into a likable character by accident. I guess the words that had come out from Audra was from how I was feeling at the time so it came out through her. She's something, isn't she? I think it's definitely interesting that Paige had forgotten about that night with Emily. Let's find out what happen, shall we? I hope you enjoy this chapter! Like, I REALLY honestly hope you do. hahaha ;) Have a wonderful day!**

**TheShawmeister: Oh my god! I am SO GLAD it's you! I love your story so much and now you're reading mine! ;) I was really hoping it was you. Anyway, to the point, I've been trying to write long chapters instead of short ones. I think they're more satisfying to read. Don't you think? You're not going to be in the dark for long after this chapter. I really hope you like this chapter. It's a bit...much. hahaha You'll understand what I mean after you read it. I've done my best to incorporate what you wanted to see in this chapter, so one of your wishes has been granted. I hope that it's what you were looking forward to. I also hope that it surprises you. ;) So, do you like Audra? That's what I'm wondering. Thank you so much for reviewing! It's always so nice to hear from you. ;) Have a great day, okay?**

**Cici: I can't believe you liked the previous chapter! I was so afraid no one would like it. I'm so glad that you did though. ;) It brings joy to me to know that you do. I like your thoughts and suggestions about Paige and Audra. I will definitely look into it. I honestly think they have potential too but who knows for now. Audra is really a hit or miss for most people. I find it kind-of odd that people like her because it really shows how much people ship Paily. The ones who dislike her feels very strongly about Paily whereas the others who do like her wants to see some Paige/Audra action. I will DEFINITELY shed light on their breakup. You'll have to read future chapters to find out though because there are hints here and there in the last few chapters about it, and I'd like to lead up to The Talk gradually instead of just throwing it out there like a fastball. Thank you for reading and reviewing! It's always so nice to hear your words of encouragement. I really hope you enjoy this chapter. It's a bit different. ;) Have a good day! **

**Del: I love it when people are surprised when reading this story. It just makes me so happy because those surprises are intentional. ;) I'd say that Audra is an interesting character. I don't want to put a label on what Audra feels for Paige, but it's definitely interesting to see how she's so drawn to Paige. I really didn't notice the pace between Paige and Audra while writing them, but thanks for pointing that out! I'll look more into it next time. Paige's feelings are different in comparison to Emily's and maybe Paige is just avoiding how she really feels and start something new like you said. Your review seemed to resemble the song that I had in the last chapter. I really wonder how you would make of this chapter though. It really gives you some insight on what happen that night and I hope that you will like it. I do hope that it surprises and amazes you because it did with me. I just think it's really something. haha ;) Well, enjoy! And have a nice day!**

**Rushi: Thank you SO MUCH for loving this story! It means so much! Hahaha! I love how you're so passionate about Paily because I am as well! Audra is there as a distraction. For how long? I don't know yet. ;) I'm not sure if Emily will have someone on the side too. We'll see. What parts do you like about the story so far? Like is there anything you'd like to see? I do hope that you will like this chapter. It's going to surprise you. I don't know by how much but I hope that it does. ;) We all want to see Paige and Emily get back together, don't we? Only time will tell. I hope you enjoy this chapter! ;) Have a good day!**

**Pokiepup: Holy monkey! I was SO surprised to see your review because I love your story Unseen! It's so nice to know that this story did not disappoint. ;) Your words are just...wow. That's a lot of praises! Thank you SO MUCH! I love reading your story and seeing that you like mine too is just...a lot to take in, you know? Please, I love LONG reviews. They give me so much insight into the readers' minds and what they think of the story. I don't mind them at all. I would love to see more of them in fact. ;) I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the previous ones. This one's a bit different. New territory for me even. Have a wonderful day! **

**A/N: So...here it is! ENJOY! Please don't kill me. hahaha ;) Things will get VERY interesting from this point on. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

I felt her left hand on my right cheek, causing my grip to tighten on the seatbelt that I had pulled across her body from earlier. She continued to stare at me, eyes filled with such intensity, that I found it hard to keep my breathing slow and steady. We hadn't move. It was as though our bodies were trapped in a state of paralysis, and I was completely transfixed by the various reactions that had played across her countenance. _What was she thinking about? Did I really want to know? What if…_

"I've missed you. Where have you been?" she had said as my thoughts trailed off.

_She…missed me? Why would she miss me?_ I felt confused, not understanding why she had said those words. Not really understanding everything that was going on right now. _Why were we even here like this?_ It was hard being in this position. I had fought every ounce of temptation to just kiss her right then, and had eventually decided to move away. I pulled myself back into her driver's seat, but suddenly felt the urge to look down at my hands and hide from her gaze, trying to convince myself that my fingers were much more amusing to watch. I tried to control my breathing, taking deep breaths and exhaling slowly, still feeling the burn on my skin where her hand used to be. _This was hard. Why must it be so hard to be around her? Why must I want her in this way?_

My thoughts were once again interrupted as she went on, "What's wrong, Emily?" My brows furrowed, still not understanding what she was saying but I decided to respond anyway.

"I'm just… I really don't know what to say to you." I lied. _I still love you. So much. But you… _I let out a sigh and then looked over at her, "Why did you have so much to drink when you knew you were going to drive home?" I was worried and had wonder if this was something she did on a regular basis.

"_I…" _she barely said. _You what? Didn't think about the consequences before making that decision? Didn't think it'd be reckless at all driving home in this drunken state? Didn't think –_ She'd flung herself halfway across my seat without warning before I could even process what was happening. Somehow her hands had found their way around the nape of my neck, pulling my head forcibly towards hers. I realized what she was trying to do and I tried to resist, struggling out of her grip, but she was unimaginably stronger than I had previously thought, and just as I had feared, I felt her lips on mine within a flash. My eyes widened because even though I knew what was coming, it still came as a shock for me. _No, it's not supposed to be like this._ I tried to pull away but she wouldn't let me, her eyes were closed and her hands were still tightly locked around my neck. _Please_. I silently begged for her to stop. _If you keep kissing me like this, I don't think I can…_

I couldn't hold back any longer. It was just too much. I was completely lost in the kiss and I felt myself kissing her back. I began to close my eyes, forfeiting my will to resist and finally giving into her. _Oh god, how_ _it's been so long..._ Our lips were moving against one another so sensually, making me feel the rise of my body temperature as a wave of heat washed over me. Then I felt the all-too-familiar sensation, the feeling of blood rushing towards my center, and she began licking the bottom of my lips, begging for entrance into my mouth. My lips parted slightly on their own and I felt the warmth of her delve in without any irresolution. Our tongues fell into a passionate dance, and I tasted the alcohol that she had consumed earlier. It was intoxicating. _All of it_. Her tongue continued to stroke and caress mine, and I found myself pushing her back over into the passenger seat. I broke the kiss, made my way across the armrest that was situated in-between our seats, and then slowly climbed on top of her. As I steadied myself over her, straddling her legs and placing my knees on either side of her thighs, I felt her eyes raking over my body. I reached over to the left to press the button that would shift the chair back, sliding it down into a lying position. I rested both my hands on each of her shoulder and gently pushed her back into the seat, forcing her to lie down. I held my breath as my lips hovered over hers; our lips being merely inches apart. She looked at me in the same way that I've always remembered she did, and her hands reached up to cup my face as she began to lean in slowly. I felt her breath before the kiss, and when our lips touched, I felt like it had to be a dream that we were together like this. Her hands roamed all over me, fumbling a bit from her drunkenness. Not that it mattered at all. I took over and grabbed her wandering hands and placed them behind my head, as I begin trailing kisses down to her neck. I heard her whimpering slightly as she held my head closer to her. I attached my lips to her pulse point and ran my tongue over the skin pulsing beneath the skilled muscle. "_Emily_…" she moaned softly. I had forgotten how much I had missed the way she breathed my name. She began to move against me when I felt the rise of her hips. I matched the rhythm of her hips as she tried to pull me closer, and I buried my face against her neck. We were both panting, and I could scarcely think as my body ached with arousal. It felt too amazing and torturous all at once.

"Oh god," I exhaled as I tried to hold back the guttural moan at the back of my throat. My body was on fire and ready. I felt her hands caress my face, pulling my head back up to look at her. "_Emily_…" I heard her moan again, this time a little louder, but I could tell by the tone that it was a request for something. My eyes fluttered open and I tried to hold her gaze, but she began to pick up the pace and my hips began bucking instinctively at the movement. I couldn't help but closed my eyes at the pleasurable feeling, the anticipation, clinging onto her with all the strength I had left in me. A whimper escaped my lips, feeling the unmatched intensity of our movements. She must've felt that I was close because she began to wrap her hands around my waist, pulling me further down, meshing our pelvis mercilessly and applying more pressure to my already swollen clit. I moaned loudly, tilting my head as far back as I possibly can and sunk deeper into her, struggling to hold on as we rocked against each other.

"Paige, I can't…" I uttered breathlessly as she continued to move rhythmically against me. She reached a hand between us to cup my breasts tightly and that seemed to be all I needed, because my body began to tense immediately and I had called out her name in tow. I felt the orgasm tear through me, reaching all the way through my body and taking hold. As it radiated through every inch of me, she held me against her, still rocking against me until her hips stilled and she let out a scream of her own into my neck. The movement of her hips uncontrollably bucking beneath me had only prolonged the intense pleasure I was feeling and I cried out as another wave shot through me. I collapsed against her, exhausted from the simultaneous climax, and the last thing my mind could process was a barely audible "_I love you,"_ but I couldn't be sure that I had heard it right. My eyes closed as I rested against her. _To the moon and back. _I completed and drifted away into sleep.

* * *

I woke up from the vibration in my back pocket and became aware of the fact that it was just my phone. Before I had opened my eyes, I realized that I was lying on top of something soft yet firm but couldn't quite make out what it actually was. It was definitely not a mattress or a couch for all I knew, because it fitted me so perfectly. _What on earth was beneath me?_ I slowly opened my eyes, still too tired to move, and as they open, I took in my surroundings, not really sure what to make of the sight before me. It only took me a few moments before I realized_ whom_ I was lying on top of as my mind registered the breathing pattern I had known so well from years ago. _Oh god, that didn't really happen…did it?_ Flashes of the night before dawned on me and I marveled at what I'd just experienced again…after two years. My eyes widened at the images and sounds I initially thought and was so sure couldn't be real. _It wasn't a dream? No, this can't be right._ My phone vibrated again, tearing me out of my thought. I reached into my back pocket and took out my phone, checking it to see that Spencer had called and left me a text message to tell me and the girls that she couldn't make it to the café the next morning because she had slept over at her sister's house in Philly. I looked at the time and noticed that it was only 2:03AM. I gently lifted myself off of Paige, trying not to wake her in the process. When I was finally in the driver's seat, I looked over at her and contemplated on whether I should just leave. _You can't just leave her here in this parking lot and take a gamble that she'll be all right by herself, Fields._ It was dark outside and even though the karaoke bar was still opened, it didn't seem safe to leave a girl alone in the car at a place like this. I sighed as I realize how incredibly stupid I was for even considering it.

I put the key into the engine and then began the drive back to her place. After a few minutes of silence and passing through a slightly winded road in the dark, my mind finally began to unravel and take in everything that had happened. I could honestly say that I was still in shock and couldn't really make sense of everything that had transpired only a few hours ago. _What did I do? What did I do? What did I do? _I chastised myself. My thoughts were all over the place as I was driving. I just wanted to bang my head against the steering wheel, snapping out of this bizarre fantasy. _Why Emily? Why?! This shouldn't have happened. This never should have happened at all. _My hands clenched onto the steering wheel, wanting to rip it off somehow from how deeply troubled I was. I felt so angry with myself. So upset that I had...surrender all the strength that I had in myself to resist. I felt so desperate. So weak. It's like I've lost all self-control and couldn't find my way back to it. _What the hell is wrong with me?_ I couldn't even look at her any more, because I knew that I really would not hesitate to jump her bones again if I did and I'd throw caution to the wind again for her. _This was really not right._

"Emily…" I turned to her straightaway as I heard my name come out of her mouth. For a moment, I started to panic, not sure of what to say to her after what had happened between us tonight if she brought it up. To my relief, she appeared to still be asleep and hadn't woken up yet like I've previously thought after she uttered my name. …_She's dreaming of me?_ All thoughts of bitterness and anguishes melted away at the realization. _So she remembers? What's going to happen now?_

I stepped on the brake and brought the car to a steady halt as I parked right in front of her house as we arrived. I put the car in park, turned the engine off, and then turned my heads towards her, wondering if it was all right to wake her now. After a few moments, I decided not to. I reached over to my left side to press the button on the car door to slide my seat back down like hers. When the seat had stretched out as far back as it could, I lied down and turned my head to the right towards her.

So much time had passed between us and brought Paige and I to this moment. Somehow…she had moved on and only I was still so childish to stay this way after we've parted. It's been hundreds of days since we each went our own ways. I had missed her so much over time. To be here with her like this right now…it just all felt too unreal. Was she happy? Was she still as serious as she used to be? Had she found new lovers after me? A more mature lover maybe? Someone who'd love her more than I do? Someone who would've fought for her to stay when she wanted to leave? Time passes and everyone had to grow up, but why was it that I refused to grow up? Why am I still so childish to stay in love with her even after she had left me? I don't think I can put up this act of nonchalance any more, of being entirely composed and collected when I still think of the past even with the years that had passed. I reached out my hand to caress her face, but midway across the seat, I stopped and pulled my hand back. _It wasn't right_, I reminded myself.

I don't know how long it was that I had stayed in that position watching her, but I began to see the faint morning light. Even though the sun was not yet visible, I saw the sky turn a lighter shade of the color blue. It was a morning without clouds, but I knew that once the sun rises, the light that first floods through our east-facing windows may be a beautiful blue, often followed by a delicate, rosy pink as the sun makes its appearance. It reminded me of the days where I woke up early to go to swim practice, walking to school in the dark and watching the light streaming through Rosewood so beautifully.

I took my phone out of my pocket and saw that it was 5:23AM, and I looked back to see Paige's sleeping form. I don't know… I think it may be a better idea to leave before she wakes. I mean, what are we going to say to one another in this kind of situation? It would be too…awkward and uneasy for me to deal with, and I couldn't expect her to drive me back home. I think I'll give her a call later and we can meet up somewhere to talk in a nicer setting. We're more mature enough to talk about this over tea or coffee, right? I suddenly remembered that I have a coffee date with the girls this morning at The Brew, so I suppose it would be a really smart idea to start walking back to my house now, considering that it's about a half hour walk. Plus, I really needed to clean up nice so that my lack of sleep would go unnoticed.

I slid the car seat back into a sitting position and took the keys out of the ignition, placing it in the cup holder. I opened the car door as gently as I could, not to wake Paige and then pressed a button to lock all the doors before closing the door lightly but firmly. As I stepped away from the car, I took one last look at her before heading home. Come what may, I hope that everything would turn out okay in the end.

* * *

I had fallen asleep after my shower and was woken up by the ringing of my phone. I picked it up to see Aria's name on the caller ID. I shot straight up in bed, looking over to the clock on my nightstand, realizing that it was fifteen minutes past the time the girls and I had agreed to meet at The Brew.

"Hey Emily, I'm standing in line at The Brew right now and I don't see you or Hanna. Where are you guys?" Aria asked.

"Oh sorry, Aria! I kind-of…overslept. I'll call Hanna and see where she's at, and we'll head over right away." I explained.

"That's okay. I'll be here…waiting…you know, like the usual." I heard Aria laughed through the phone.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry! We'll be there as soon as possible. I'll see you there!" I said quickly.

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit!" she chirped and hung up. I started to dial Hanna's number but a call from her came in as I was dialing, and I answered the incoming call.

"Hanna! Where are you at right now?" I asked right away.

"Whoa there, hello to you too Em. I'm just taking a last glance in the mirror before I leave the house. I was just calling to tell you guys that I'll be there in five minutes." Hanna said.

"Wait, can you drop by my house and pick me up? I just woke up about five minutes ago and Aria called telling me she's already there waiting for the both of us." I asked.

"Sure I'll head over right now, hun!" Hanna hung up abruptly after getting in the last word. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash my face. After I had dried my face and put on some facial moisturizer, I heard my phone ring so I grabbed my purse before heading downstairs. I slipped into my sneakers and then opened the door to see Hanna parked in the driveway next to my mom's car. I closed and locked the door to the house, and walked over to the passenger side and got in.

"Where's your car?" Hanna asked.

"Long story, I'll tell you later at The Brew." I replied.

The ride to The Brew was fairly short, and we strode along the sidewalk until we were at the entrance of the coffee shop. As we opened the door and walked into the café, we breathed in the warm smell of coffee, and immediately gave each other the nod of approval. It smelled heavenly. Hanna led the way in and I followed behind. When we neared the table, I was surprised to see that Aria was not alone but I was even more dumbfounded to see that it was Paige who was sitting next to her. _Why was she with Aria? Was this planned? Why didn't anyone fill me in on this? Act normal, Emily. Everything will be okay if you act normal. _When we finally stood by their table, I had heard her laugh and saw her shaking her head back and forth a bit, and I suddenly became curious about what had put her in such a good mood. When she finally looked up, she had this amused expression as I caught her gaze. She had changed from when I last saw her this morning. Awake and more put together. It was amazing how she could get away with being so beautiful in just a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, a navy wool shawl-collar cashmere sweater, and a white tank top beneath. Her style had changed quite a bit since high school. She dresses more…elegantly now. Always looking so clean cut. I felt a bit underdress all of a sudden in just long yoga spandex pants and a charcoal cable off-shoulder sweater. I don't know how long I stood there staring at her, but I snapped out of the trance when she spoke up, "Good morning." _Good. At least things were still okay between us. This is progress. Yeah, this is good. _

"Morning Paige," I said and found myself smiling because things weren't going to be weird between us after… Yeah, I think I'll just leave it at that.

"So can you guys scoot over or do you expect us to stand here all day?" I heard Hanna jokingly say, but she had decided to plop down on the couch next to Aria anyways. So that left a seat next to Paige, and although I felt nervous about sitting near her, I walked around and sat down, trying hard not to keep a close distance to her in vain. This was actually not that bad. I had expected worse. I wouldn't have imagined how mature we're both handling this situation if I wasn't sitting here right now. _Maybe things do work out after all, even after two years._ After a few moments of silence with Paige, Aria and Hanna suddenly stood up from the couch.

"Hey Em, what do you want to drink?" Hanna asked me.

"Medium soy vanilla latte," I responded and began to reach for my purse but Aria spoke up and said, "It's okay, I got it." The girls headed over to the coffee bar, leaving Paige and me to ourselves.

"Look…" she started and I stared at her, waiting for the following words to come out. _This is it. Couldn't have had any better timing than this._ I felt a bit afraid, not knowing how this conversation was going to go. Do I apologize for what we'd done? But…she had started it first. Still, she was under the influence of alcohol, so technically I was supposed to be the responsible one. Well, okay, let's just put responsibility aside and think about what happens now. _Are we… What are we exactly?_ I just had so many questions I wanted answers to, but I was too afraid to ask. I really wasn't sure if I could accept the answers that I didn't want to hear. Then she continued, "I was talking to Aria earlier…and I asked her a question, but she advised me that it would be a better idea to get the answer from you." _She spoke to Aria about us? So…Aria knows? What the hell? This was…between us. Why would she go share it with someone else, one of my best friends even, and not talk about it with me first?_ _I haven't even told any one of them yet!_

I tried to calm down and not get so worked up about it and lightly urged her to continue, "Go on."

"I wanted to know if…" she was in the middle of asking me but stopped speaking midsentence when a pretty blonde walked up to our table holding out a messenger bag to her.

"Hey, you left your bag over there and I wasn't sure if you were coming back to your table, so I thought I'd bring it over to you on my way out." I heard her tell Paige as she handed over the bag.

"Thanks, I completely forgot about it when I came over here," Paige said, staring at her and carried on, "You're leaving now?" The girl nodded and was about to leave after waving goodbye when suddenly I saw Paige reached out and held onto her wrist. "Let me walk you," I heard her say.

_What?_ I felt confused as I watched their exchange. _Weren't we going have the talk?_

Paige then stood up and turned to me saying, "This is…Audra," as her eyes and body language gestured to the blonde. "And Audra, this is Emily." she said as she returned her gaze back to me.

"It's nice to meet you Emily," she said to me and I nodded to acknowledge her presence. _Why was it that Paige seems to be surrounded by attractive blondes every time I see her? Is this another best friend that I don't know about too? _

"Likewise, Audra." I managed to say.

"I have to go, but I'll save that question for later... I'll see you around?" Paige asked almost hesitantly, and I could barely process the change of direction of our conversation, therefore I nodded and decided not to carry on with _the talk_ that she had started earlier.

After my response, she had turn on her heels and leave, waving goodbye to Aria and Hanna on the way out. The girls looked over at me with questioning looks, and I just shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what was going on myself. _Who was she?_ After a few minutes of being lost in my own thoughts of trying to make sense of the entire situation, Aria and Hanna walked over with the drinks and set it down on the rectangular wood coffee table.

"Okay, why was Paige walking out with my English professor that I had last spring semester?" Hanna was the first to speak as they both sat down. I looked at her questioningly, matching her puzzled expression.

"What? She teaches at Hollis?" I asked with disbelief. _I thought that she was attending U Penn. with Paige too? _

"Oh right, Paige told me that she teaches at Hollis earlier when we were talking." Aria added.

"Wait, why were you talking to Paige? And why was she walking out with my English professor?" Hanna asked again.

"Hanna… I don't know, okay? When I came in here, they were already getting cozy near one of those window seats over there. Then she walked over here and spoke to me. And what was I supposed to do? Tell her to go away?" Aria responded and then looked to me as though asking for my forgiveness. There wasn't any need for apologies, but I smiled at her to express that what she did hadn't upset me. I mean, I clearly couldn't think right now after Aria used the term '_cozy_' to describe how they were interacting with each other, but I decided to go on anyways.

"What were you guys talking about?" I asked Aria.

"Well, she was asking me why I was here this early, and then I digressed and asked her about that blonde chick. Trust me, I was as surprised as you were just now when Paige told me she was teaching at Hollis. Then…well…" Aria said hesitantly.

"What? Just spill the beans already, Aria." Hanna pressed on.

"Well, she went on a little bit about how attractive that girl was…" Aria looked at me cautiously before continuing, "and from my standpoint, it seemed like they had _really _gotten to know each other real well. I think Paige might've implied that they're _getting to know each other_ too, if you guys are catching my drift."

"I knew it!" Hanna exclaimed. Aria and I looked at her questioningly, and probably for the first time in a long time, wondering what on earth she knew that we hadn't.

"What?" Aria and I asked in unison.

"All the boys in class, including the really cute ones, would always flirt and give her so much attention but she never even cared. There were also male professors coming in from time to time during lectures, trying to pamper her with compliments, and she never seem interested in the really hot ones either. At the time I thought she was crazy, blowing off all these really hot guys. Hm, now that I think about it, she seemed particularly nice to the girls in class. I think I might've seen her flirting with another female professor too when I was walking out of another class one day. Oh my god, she's totally gay! It all makes sense now!" Hanna finished and clapped her hands together as though she'd just unearthed a huge discovery.

I blinked a few times, trying to make sense of everything the girls had just told me. _So Paige was on a date…? That couldn't be right. _

"Em, are you okay?" Aria asked and I resumed my focus on our conversation.

"Yeah, it's just… Do you guys really think that she's gay, and she and Paige were…" I trailed off, not really knowing the correct term for whatever was going on between the two.

"On a date?" Hanna said and then continued, "Duh, totally. Wow, Paige definitely has a thing for blondes now, doesn't she? First, that Sammie girl, and now, Professor Reed. She must be getting plenty at – " she stopped and yelped when Aria elbowed her in the ribs.

Aria rolled her eyes and said, "Hanna, Sammie was Paige's best friend and we don't really know anything about that girl. Look, maybe we're all just overthinking it and they're probably just friends. And even if they are, it's not really any of our business to discuss their relationship, right?"

"You're right, Aria." I said.

"She did ask about you though." Aria said looking at me.

"Really? What did she say?" I asked hesitantly. _Did she really tell Aria about what happened?_

"She wanted to know if…well, if you've forgiven her for what happened two years ago. I told her that I wasn't the person she should asked and that she should ask you herself when you two walked through the door." Aria explained. I let out a sigh of relief. So Aria didn't know. Goodness, had me scared for a second there. _So that was what she wanted to talk about. What about…what happened last night?_

"Oh, I see." I said without sounding too interested in what she had just said.

"Okay, enough about Paige. Can we talk about something else?" Hanna suggested.

So that's what we did. For the next hour and a half, Hanna kept going on about Caleb, what's been going on in my absence, and her plans for internship. Aria and I listened, well, at least Aria was. I couldn't help but let my thoughts drift away elsewhere. I couldn't stop thinking about the previous night. What it meant. Why I had let it happen. What Paige really thought of it. How she felt about it. And then…Paige and Audra. What the girls had told me. Everything and anything about Paige, really. The thought of Paige and Audra had really bothered me for some reason. I couldn't lay a finger on it, but I knew that I wasn't too fond of the idea. My head was spinning from everything that's happened in the past 24 hours. The next sigh that escaped my lips was inevitable.

_What happens now? _


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: This is to clear things up for some people and I hope to incorporate this into the story at some point. The reason for why Paige doesn't remember is because she's always…daydreaming about Emily or fantasizing about her when she's asleep, so Paige usually assumes that it's just a dream. Even in the first chapter, she was already dreaming about Emily. And when she relived one of her memories with Em at the Lake Meadow in her dream while she was drunk, I did hinted that Emily will always choose to remember whereas Paige loses that ability. ;) I'm REALLY inexperienced when it comes to writing fanfic, if you couldn't already tell. This is my first time ever writing something like this. All the words of encouragement and support really help me carry on and guide me. It's so fun to write, but sometimes, I am aware that I don't get ALL of my thoughts and ideas across in the story, or they're very subtle and it's hard to discern because everyone's thought process or ways of thinking are different. I'm truly sorry for that. Your reviews and remarks REALLY help me with how I should write to make it more…understandable for all of you. It helps guide the story too in all honesty. To me, we're all in this together the moment I had decided to share this story with you all.**

**Also, there are 3 readers here I'd like to recommend for you to follow the stories of. If you guys haven't read: "Unseen" by Pokiepup, "Past Memories" by gigabyte1, and "Sky's The Limit" by TheShawmeister, **

**GO READ THEM! I adore their stories so much and follow their fanfics almost religiously. ;) I bet you will too if you'd give it a try! **

**Rushi: I'm so glad you loved the chapter and enjoyed that "hawt" scene! I was really hesitant to write it at first, because it's a BIG DEAL and I honestly didn't want to scare away the readers. I find it so funny that you don't want to see Paige/Audra action but suggested that I get someone new for Emily in one of your previous reviews. How can you be heartbroken seeing Paige with someone else but not feel the same way if Emily was with someone new as well? ;) I'll see what I can do, okay? I'm hoping to unveil a lot of unknowns and parts that will fill in the gaps of the story. I'm so glad to see you return and review. It honestly makes my heart swell with happiness. Stay tune, alright? And have a wonderful day! :)**

**TheShawmeister: Oh Lord? hahahaha Why are you suddenly addressing the Lord? ;) That "Car Ride" was really…something to write, you know? Would you believe me if I told you that that was my first time writing something like that? Because it was. I'm so surprised to get positive feedbacks for that scene. I've read plenty smut scenes in the past on here, but never actually thought about writing it. And then I did it out of the blue. Turning your back on Audra already after finding out that Em and Paige got it on in the car? Tsk Tsk Tsk! ;P Thank you for reading and supporting me since the very first chapter! You are the bestttttt! ;) Have a beautiful day, dear! **

**Jamscottroc54: I'll cross my heart when I say this, because your review made me laugh SO MUCH! ;D Thank you so much for your kind words and humorous review! I honestly laughed out loud when I saw that facial expression again (and once more, I wished I was there to witness your reaction to the chapter). That was my first time writing that kind of intimate scene to be honest, and I'm really glad that you love it. You and I both can't wait for them to have "the talk." I'm so grateful for you. Honest. I'm so glad you enjoyed the previous chapter and keep coming back for more. You are one of the best supporters ever! I feel so special knowing that you had put another fanfic on hold just to read mine. You have no idea how much that means to me! ;) PLEASE have a wonderful day, alright? **

**Sazar: Darn…I was hoping to get something out of you! Did it not surprise you? Did you like the previous chapter? Was the car scene too much? What was your reaction to it? I cannot imagine how the conversation about that "car incident" will go if they even try to talk about it. I'd imagined lots of tension and entertaining unrehearsed lines. ;) There are a lot of possibilities on the table for me. Which "talk" should they have first? Which would you like to see first? ;) Thank you for continuing to review and sort-of let me know your thoughts on the story as it progresses. I hope that you have a good day! :)**

**Cici: Define "bomber" for me. hahaha Honestly, I wasn't expecting it either. I mulled over the idea for days before writing that scene. You're right on cue about the déjà vu of drunken/drugged Paige. I was inspired by that scene, and also by the episode "Stolen Kisses" where Em finds out from Paige that they had kissed. This time around, it's Emily that has gotten away with more than a kiss. ;) I find it SO interesting that you ship Paige/Audra. I will grant you your wish because you've been so kind to continuously post reviews for this story and supporting it. ;) Have a beautiful day! **

**gigabyte1: WHAT?! You really thought this is the best chapter yet? No way! ;D Thank you for loving this story and continuing to support it! Her name is Audra*. Hahahaha I find it so funny how some of you get her name wrong. It made my friend and I laugh over how many names you guys can come up with for this new character. ;) I'm so glad that you like the "car scene." It took me a while before I built up the courage to write it. I wasn't sure if it was going to be good enough. Or if it was not real enough. I don't know. It was my first time writing something like that. haha Would you be interested in reading something like that again in the future? I'm just curious. Anyways, have a wonderful day! :)**

**Del: I think what led to the car scene was due to the built-up frustration on Emily's part and because of Paige believing she was in one of her dreams again. Sure, alcohol can you make you a bit more impulsive and gutsy, but only to an extent you know? Because when you're drunk, you're still conscious of your actions even though most people deny that they remembered anything... Also, Emily could've continued to resist, but she caved. Paige makes her weak and Emily has a soft spot for the girl. ;) You know, you're the only one who mentioned Aria and Hanna in the reviews for the previous chapter. Everyone else was so caught up with Paily action and forgot about the girls. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Please have a wonderful day! :)**

**H: Thank you for your input! :) I've actually never noticed how I write the dialogues between the characters. I see where you're coming from though. It's a habit and I'm trying to take your advice and incorporate that a bit of that writing style into this chapter. I found it kind-of hard writing it in that way at first, but maybe because it's new to me and I'm trying to get used to it. :) But thank you for reading and enjoying the story! It's very much appreciated and I hope that you return to read more. :) Have a good day, alright? **

**Pokiepup: I originally found it hard to capture Emily's POV at first too. I felt like it was much easier to relate with Paige, and so I found myself writing her POV with much more ease. As the story progresses though, I find it harder and harder to relate with Paige. I think Paige has really grown into a different person, whereas Emily is still the same as she always was. I'm so glad you like the way I write Emily's POV because I thoroughly enjoy writing her part too. ;) As for the group scene, I never had too much trouble writing those scenes. They come to me naturally, and whatever line comes to my mind would just be in the story. I don't really edit my story at all. I'm hoping you'll think the lines flow naturally in this chapter as well. Thank you so much for returning and sharing your thoughts with me! I feel so grateful for all of the support you've given me. ;) I hope you'll have a beautiful day too! **

**Pamy: I'm a bit confused as to what you're referencing to about "that night." Are you wondering what had happened? Because it was shown from Emily's POV in chapter ten. I think Paige wants to let go because it hurts, but she's holding on because it's everything she ever wanted, so she's conflicted and confused about what she wants to do. We see a lot of her struggle in this chapter too, although they're quite subtle. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! ;) It means so much. I hope that you'll enjoy this and have a good day. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

**Paige's POV**

I stood in front of the mirror, straightening my outfit and wondering if I looked casual enough for my Friday rendezvous with Audra at the Grille. I had decided on a pair of dark denim skinny jeans, a white V-neck, and my two-inch knee high brown leather boots. I stood there pondering if I should also put on the Mackage black leather jacket I own, but the ringing of the phone interrupted my thoughts. Well, that's odd; it's still an hour until our date. _Was Audra calling to cancel?_ I went over to my night table and looked at the screen of my phone, seeing Sammie's name flashed across it. I picked up the phone and pressed the button to accept her call.

"Sammie!" I said excitedly into the phone. On the one-hour ride to the airport yesterday, we had made promises to each other to call every day and keep in touch. I had called her last night after coming home to make sure that she had landed safely and to hear the confirmation that her family had picked her up. With so many things going on since she had left, I haven't even noticed that it's almost been a day since we've last spoken.

"Whoa! You're awfully happy to hear from me. Is it already that bad in Rosewood without me?" she chuckled over the phone.

"What! No! I just forgot that I had missed you!" I said beamingly. I sure had. Sammie and I were like two peas in a pod, so how do you expect a girl to get by without her best friend for the entire summer? Even though I hadn't admitted it the day before when she was here, I knew she had known how I felt about her physical absence.

"Excuse me? You forgot that you had missed me? Girl, what are you trying to say?" Sammie jokingly questioned.

"You know that's not what I meant. It's just…a lot has happened since you left." I managed to come up with.

"It's only been a day, Paige. What exactly could have happened since I left town?" _Well…enough to make you become upset with me…_ I noticed that her question was laced with curiosity. A few moments passed before I mustered up the courage to tell her about my date with Audra tonight.

"After I dropped you off at the airport yesterday, I decided to drive to Hollis and call off my date with Audra in person. I…listened to you. Really, I did… But then Audra was being really sweet and sincere…and now I –" she interrupted me before I could finish.

"Oh no you didn't! Paige McCullers, you better not tell me what I think you're about to say." she demanded.

"I am… I'm going to pick her up in about an hour actually." I said, a little scared of how Sammie was going to react now.

"_What are you doing_, Paige?" she asked sternly after a few moments of silence. The seriousness of our conversation had drastically changed within minutes.

"I'm trying to understand what _I'm_ doing too, Sammie." There was this nagging feeling at the pit of my stomach, telling me that I was just really doing it for myself. Why couldn't I be allowed to be happy and mingle? I really wanted to ask Sammie that, but I already knew the answer. We knew each other too well, always asking questions we already know the answers to. There was a part of me that just wanted to move on and be happy. I've spent too much time hoping that everything would eventually melt away and I tried my hardest not to let life make me feel defeated. I've gradually grown numb to the feelings I won't allow myself to submit to, and from then on, I had lived freely without a worry. That was until I came upon _her_ again. The day we met at the Grille, the frozen ice where my heart used to be had begun to melt, and I'd felt the warmth of blood rushing through me, making me become aware that I wanted to love again. _That I wanted to love her so much once more._ But I knew that I couldn't. _How could I?_

"If tonight doesn't work out, don't wait too long to let her know." Sammie said before I heard the click on the other side of the line. I let out a sigh and dropped the phone onto the table. Sammie was always frustrated with me when it came to this. I knew she'd come around in a few days, but a part of me felt like I had let her down, but I just… _Maybe she was right_. _Well, isn't she always?_ I suddenly felt really exhausted and just wanted to stay in for the night. Maybe a walk would really help clear some things up for me. I picked up the phone again and sent Audra a text, telling her that I'd meet her at the Grille instead. She had responded within a few minutes, accommodating with the change of plans.

I put on the leather jacket and grabbed my wallet before heading downstairs. After I locked the door on my way out, I began the walk into town. It was about a fifteen minutes walk to the local restaurant, but I decided to take a detour so that I would hopefully arrive just on time for the date. I also wanted to take a longer walk to clear my head, and so I began wandering my way around the straightforward route. The sun was beginning to set, and I let my gaze drop down to the pavements, getting lost in the grey color of the flat surface as I walked past them.

_The ringing of my phone suddenly interrupted the undisturbed silence of the dark night. I tapped around the pockets of my clothing and finally found it in the right pocket of my thermal jacket. Pulling the phone out, I looked at the screen and was surprised to see that it was an incoming call from Spencer. I answered the call and put the phone next to my ear._

"_This is a nice surprise, Spence." I said as I walked along the sidewalk._

"_Hey there, I was just wondering about you a few minutes ago, so I decided to give you a call." she said. I heard the sincerity in her voice and smiled. We haven't spoken since Thanksgiving but it was definitely nice to hear from her again. Seeing how Spencer is, one can only imagine how jam-packed her schedule must've been like. It was definitely a nice surprise to get a call from her. _

"_I just got out of my late night swim and I'm walking back to the dorms now. How's Princeton?" I asked. Winter was approaching, and it was beginning to get really cold outside in Philly. I quickened my pace a bit and crossed one arm across my chest to stay warm, seeing that the other one was preoccupied with holding the phone. _

"_Freezing. When does winter break start for you?" she asked. I have my final exams this week and then break starts the week after. I guess she's about to go on break too. _

"_Next week, but I should be heading home on Sunday at the latest. It's beginning to get chilly here too." I said in response. _

"_Great! Can I ask you for a favor?" she asked excitedly. _

"_Sure, what is it?" I answered her._

"_I'm flying back home this Sunday too, so can you pick me up at the airport around noon? Only if it's convenient for you of course." Oh, I see. So we're going on break at the same time again (we were on break at the same time for Thanksgiving too)? It's so neat how our colleges tend to have the same holiday breaks. _

"_No problem at all." It'd be nice to have some company while driving back to Rosewood anyway. I can't believe we've been in college for almost half a year already. The first semester of college had flown by really fast. _

"_Awesome! So if you don't mind me asking, why were you swimming at this time of night? You do realize that it's almost 10:00PM right? I wasn't even aware that any natatorium would stay open that late." Spencer asked. _

"_Just needed to take a break from studying for finals. It was a really nice swim." I added. I was addicted to the feeling of having water all around me. There was once a girl who had taught me how to swim for myself, and since then, there hasn't been a day that's gone by that I don't think of her when I do. When I'm in the water, I feel as though…she's with me somehow. It was my way of escaping the reality of everything. Imagining how all the water molecules that surrounded me was everything that exists. Where nothing else mattered. That being in the water was the reality of everything. Nothing more. Nothing less. And I felt her spirit there with me. I always have when I swam. _

"_Hello? Paige? Are you still there?" I heard Spencer say on the other side of the phone line._

"_Yeah? Sorry…I spaced." I explained. _

"_I asked if you wanted a Princeton sweatshirt. I could get you one for a nice discount since I'm on the student council committee." she said._

"_Oh, sure. That sounds great. Count me in!" I said quickly. _

"_It'll be my thank you gift to you for picking me up and driving me home." she said. It's kind-of funny now that I've re-processed her words. Spencer wasn't always this nice to me. I still remember the days where all I could expect from her were glares and curt responses to my attempts of making conversation with her. I really do prefer this Spencer more. I can almost feel like we were best friends, except a part of me understood that she wasn't. _

"_Neat! I get to have company on the drive home AND I get a Princeton sweatshirt. I must be on Santa's good list this year!" I said animatedly. I heard her chuckle and I had a smile of my own plastered to my face as well. _

"_I have to get back to my studies now, but I'll call you when I land on Sunday, alright?" she said._

"_Definitely. I'll see you then." I replied._

"_Good night, Paige. Text me when you get home so I know that you're safe and sound back at your humble abode." _

"_I will. Don't stay up too late. Night Spencer." I said and ended the call as I continued walking. The night had gotten colder by the second. I wonder if it was this cold where she was. Maybe she's already in bed. She's always been one to go to bed early. I smiled slightly to myself as my mind wander all around and began unreeling from the long day I had. It was just another night in the dark where I was alone with my thoughts of her._

* * *

"_Thanks again for picking me up, Paige." Spencer said to me for the umpteenth time since she's gotten into my car half an hour ago. It almost appeared like she felt indebted to me for saving her life or something. I chuckled at the thought as I remembered that I had saved her once when I had tackled the opposing team's hockey player. That girl was relentless; trying to hide in one of Spencer's blind spots, planning to attack Spencer from behind during one of our hockey games back in high school. Lucky enough for her, I was in close range to intercept the fast burly girl. Not only did she not thank me for saving her from that blow, she even joined in with the team when they named me after the penalty. Oh, the good ol' days._

"_I'm going to drop you off in the middle of the highway if you keep on thanking me. Then you'll be on your way to hitch a ride with some stranger, Spencer." I laughed. _

"_Don't you dare." she said menacingly, but when I looked over to call her out on her threat, I saw that she was smiling my way. _

"_You're right, I wouldn't." I'd given in before continuing, "So, are all the girls coming back for Christmas?" I had wondered if she was coming back. I haven't seen her since…_

"_Yeah, except for one." I heard the sadness in the tone of her voice. It had echoed how I felt inside too. _

"_Is it because of me?" I hesitantly asked and glanced over to her. She looked at me sadly for a moment before I saw her slightly nodding her head. I let out a sigh and felt guilt-ridden as ever, because this was the second time she's decided to not come back to Rosewood for the holiday break. _

"_Will she ever come back?" I finally found the courage to ask. I was afraid of what answer Spencer would put forward. A part of me knew that Emily felt closest to Spencer out of all the girls, and even if they rarely spoke now from what Spencer had told me, I knew that Spencer would always know the answer to my questions of Emily regardless of their lack of communication lately. _

"_She will someday. She's just hurt, Paige. You of all people should understand that. I think what she really needs right now is space, and part of that includes not seeing you. I hear she's flying to Texas and meeting her parents there." Spencer surprised me with the news. As harsh as she had sounded, Spencer was only laying out the truth for me. She was right about Emily's needs, and I nodded my head, reluctantly agreeing with what she had just said._

"_I feel so horrible… Driving her away from the only place she could call home." I sighed before going on, "I was never good for her right from the start." Recently, I've grown to be more comfortable revealing the way I felt about almost anything to Spencer. I could see why Emily had felt so close to her. She was understanding and seemed to pick up on people's thoughts and feelings so effortlessly. What I said felt true though. I wasn't good enough for her. She had deserved better. I had to set her free. It wouldn't have been fair to her._

"_Don't you ever say those words again. You went through a lot to be with her, and then made even more sacrifices when you let her go. I cannot imagine how unbearable the pain is for the both of you." She hesitated before going on, "To love and then to lose the person you love like that… It just seems like the most excruciating feeling in the world, and I still think it's just plain unfair. I don't know how you were able to let her go... I wish you would've just told her the truth." Spencer said. _

"_I…don't know how I did it either." I confessed. It was one of the hardest decisions I felt I'd ever made in my life. Seeing how things were now, I wondered if I had made the right choice. _

_She'll love again. She'll be okay within time. Someone's going to make her really happy someday. And she deserves better._

I almost tripped when I had forgotten to lift up my left foot properly, stumbling forward a bit. With a stroke of luck, I found balance just in time to intercept the fall. _Phew,_ I let out a sigh of relief. That was definitely a close call. I finally looked up to see that I was almost a good quarter of a mile away from the restaurant. It was dark now and the lights that glimmered from afar had made the entire night appear so romantic even with it barely in sight. I looked at the watch on my wrist and saw that it was almost seven. _That was a nice detour. _I guess my brain was on autopilot and kept me from getting lost as my mind wandered back to the past. I was able to smile a bit as a sad realization came upon me.

_Sometimes, the wrong choices bring us to the right places after all. _She's okay now. She's swimming so well that she's transferring to U Penn. She seems happy with her friends, and they look like they're close again. Everything turned out good for her. I don't have to worry any more.

After walking the rest of the length to the entrance of the restaurant, I pulled the door open and looked around to see if Audra had already arrived. As if on cue, I recognized her from afar and saw that Adolfo was seating her at one of the tables near the window. It seems like we had one commonality after all. And here I thought I was the only one with an affinity for window seats.

I walked the short distance to the table until I stood before her, and she looked a bit surprised at my early arrival before standing up to greet me as we fell into a light embrace. When we parted, I went to the other side of the table and took my seat, and I noticed that she only sat down after I was seated. _She's well mannered too_. _Another plus_. I looked around, admiring the lighting of the room from the chandeliers that hung from above, almost looking like they were handmade. It created such a nice and warm ambiance, which made the place feel even more pleasant and inviting at nighttime. There were lights that hung outside too, strung across the street, seeing that the other end of the line of lights was attached to the edge of the grocery store's roof. The beauty of it all made me smile. I really did enjoy the effort that people put into making the town look more charming, or how it was even effortlessly beautiful at times.

"You had that same expression the first time I'd noticed you." I heard her say. I turned my head towards her, wondering about what she was talking about. She must've noticed my confusion because she went on, "You were staring out the window at the café when I saw you. It was with that same adorable smile and pensive expression you wore just now when you were looking out the window." I looked at her curiously, wondering how she was already picking up on my little quirks. It was endearing that she had began to notice these things about me so soon. _Another nice quality to add to the list._ I smiled and ran a hand through my hair out of habit when I received such attention from anyone.

She was in a light blue floral dress with spaghetti straps and a pair of flats. Her hair was pulled into a loose curly side ponytail. She looked stunning as always, but even with how smooth the date was going, I still felt like something was missing. I wasn't sure what the feeling was, but nonetheless, it was troubling me a bit inside. I tried to push the feeling aside, and began fiddling with my fingers a bit. The smile on her face began to soften, and she reached over with her right hand, letting it rest over the top of mine and gave my hands a gentle squeeze.

"Are you all right?" she asked, concern written all over her face.

"Yeah, it's just… I still have this nagging feeling that something isn't _right_ here." I revealed to her, not quite sure if it was okay to be completely honest and upfront about how I felt.

"Does it feel wrong being here with me?" she questioned. _I don't know._

"No, it doesn't feel wrong… It just doesn't feel…" _Right_. I could feel that my heart was not in _this_ tonight. It's like my being here, but not _actually_ being here. Does that make any sense?

"Paige, you can tell me what's wrong. Was I being too pushy? Do you not want this?" she asked almost pleadingly. I felt my heart going out to her. I shouldn't have agreed to come tonight. I shouldn't have agreed to this date. How could everything feel so wrong within seconds? _Maybe Sammie had been right after all._

As I was about to tell her that I felt tonight was a big mistake on my part, my eyes had wandered over to the entrance of the Grille when I heard the door open. It was _Sean Ackard_. I saw him look around the room until I caught his eyes. He smiled brightly my way before he strode over to our table. I stood up excitedly and he engulfed me into a big bear hug.

I felt like I haven't seen him ages, but it was only since the last winter break that I did. He still looks the same, even more brawny-looking, possibly more attractive now than he did before. He was Hanna's ex-boyfriend, who I fake dated briefly and ended up admitting to myself that I was gay. Even though it hadn't worked out between us back then, I ended up telling him the truth, and he had forgiven me. We were good buddies for a while afterwards until it was time for college. The distance had really put some pressure on our friendship, but that didn't stop us from being good friends. He was that kind of friend where even if you don't speak to one another for a long period of time, the bond and friendship would remain the same once you spoke again. We just always pick up our friendship from where we left it. I still remember how he spent many nights on my couch watching football games with me as we bonded over our favorite teams and players, or how we had spent some evenings just going on long runs across town and back. I had even gone to him for relationship advice at a point in time when I felt troubled to no end about finding the perfect gift for my one-month anniversary with Emily. He had always been such a good pal to me, even with the lack of communication in the last few months. I should've guessed I'd bump into him sooner or later since it was summertime and all the kids are now back in Rosewood.

"Paige McCullers, look at you! My oh my, where have you been?" I heard him speak chirpily into my ear, seeing that I was still caught in the middle of a hug. He had always been such a cuddle bear. I had almost forgotten how sweet and affectionate he could be. But still, I find it entirely endearing even up to this day.

"Well, I'd tell you, but you have to let go of me first so that I can breathe, big bear." I had managed to say after letting out a huff. When he pulled back, I noticed Audra eyeing us from the corner of my eyes, and I began to turn around to introduce them.

"Hey Audra, this is Sean. We went to high school together. Sean, this is Audra, my…date." I finally said. Sean raised an eyebrow at me looking fairly amused before turning to Audra and smile.

"It's nice to meet you, Audra." he said before extending out his hand for a handshake. She stood up and took his hand. I saw her flinch slightly as I noticed that Sean had a really firm grip on her hand before letting go.

"Hi Sean, it's nice to meet you too." she said smilingly and I saw her shaking and stretching her hand out by her side. I looked at Sean just in good time to catch his mischievous gaze. _Oh no… You better not..._

"Would you guys mind if I decided to join you?" he asked sweetly, throwing in the puppy eyes at Audra. _Oh my god, Sean._

"Would _you_ mind, Paige?" she hesitated a bit before turning to me and asked. I opened my mouth, trying to say _yes_ but that didn't come out.

"No, I don't." I said instead, looking at her cautiously and trying to be sure that she's really all right with having a third party here with us. _I really couldn't thank Sean enough for this..._ I started to feel a bit exasperated. The thing with Sean was that he was really against me dating anybody else but Emily _after _Emily. I really wasn't sure why. But he often meddled whenever he can, and after Emily and I broke up, it almost appeared like he was more devastated than I was over the breakup. He was always so overly supportive and protective of our relationship, even going as far as nicknaming us Team Paily. Sean was a really nice guy, but there can be times where he's really just a pain in the ass, trying to bite off people's heads if he really didn't like someone. He was kind-of like the annoying protective older brother I never had. Although he was putting off a nice act in front of Audra, I knew that he was boiling with wrath from within, possibly wanting to threaten her to stay away if he didn't have any self-control.

I turned over to glare at him so that Audra wouldn't see, mouthing "_What are you doing_?" to him but he just simply patted my back while giving me a nod that translated into "_I got this_." as he took a seat to my right. Audra looked from him to me, and then back to him.

"So…Sean, how long have you known Paige?" Audra asked curiously.

He looked at her contemplatively, possibly deciding if he should stare her down and scare her away. "About four years. How about you?" he threw the question right back at her. _Good, no scary throw-downs happening anytime soon. Phew._

"Just yesterday." she said as a matter of fact. Sean looked at me with a bemused look and was about to say something when Adolfo stopped by our table and asked if we were ready. After he had taken our orders and left, I felt Sean and Audra's eyes on me, as though expecting for me to say something. Honestly, I didn't know what to say in this kind of situation. The circumstances of it made me feel very tense, but at the same time, I couldn't help feeling like the situation was quite funny too. I mean, I _had_ let Sean invite himself to sit down with us when we were barely beginning our date. I guess the situation spoke for itself. We were _definitely_ not on a date any more.

"You want to know something funny, Audra?" he asked out of the blue, cutting through the silence of the moment. I eyed him suspiciously, wondering what evil plans he had up his sleeves.

"What is it?" she asked without any hesitancy, gesturing for him to go on.

"Paige and I here used to date back in high school too." he paused, trying to fish for her undivided attention, and then continued when it seem like Audra was completely all ears to hear more, "We were out with my friends at this pizza joint, hanging out and having such a great time. I had even kissed her goodnight after walking her to the front porch step. Man, I thought that everything was going so well between us, but then the day after, she just comes up and drops the bomb." Sean said and started laughing. _Oh my god, he did not just do that. I am going to kill him_. Audra looked at him wide-eye, not expecting what he had just said.

"What kind of_ bomb_?" Audra inquired, and I could tell that she was surprised by what he had flung at her too. I kicked him under the table, letting him know that he should stop for it was enough damage, but he went on anyways. _Oh. My. God. Somebody. Please. Kill me now._ He was really pushing it and I am about to jump out of my seat and strangle him.

"She came out and told me she was gay. I remember standing there by the locker completely speechless, but then we somehow hugged it out afterwards, agreeing to stay friends. We began hanging out more often, going to church together, and stuff like that. Her coming out wasn't the only funny part. You see, I had previously gone to Emily before asking Paige out, questioning her if Paige was single and whatnot, but she just brushed me off saying that they were _only _teammates. I, of course, was oblivious to Paige's sexuality, and thought that Emily was keeping away from me for Hanna's sake because of my breakup with Hanna, who by the way is Emily's best friend. Turns out, Emily and Paige had already dated secretly and then broke up when I appeared and was caught in the middle of that mess. We became close buddies after. I think it was about a year that went by of me listening to Paige blathering on and on about Emily before she finally decided to come out to her parents, rekindled her relationship with Emily, and began dating her publicly. It was probably one of the happiest moments of my life, if I could say so myself. _Their love was like a fairytale_." Sean finished. _A fairytale? Really Sean? Really now?_ Nobody laughed, of course. _How could anybody?_ He turned to smile at me, looking like he had just told the world's greatest story, but then his smile began to falter as he noticed that I was wearing an agitated expression. I looked over to Audra and saw that she was staring at me intently, and I wondered what was going on in her mind. _This is a disaster. Why Sean? Why? _I shouldn't be mad at him. I really shouldn't. But I really am. He had gone too far this time around.

Thankfully, Adolfo came by with our food and drinks to stop me from acting out on the rage I felt. We all began to eat the food silently after Sean's little impromptu speech. All I wanted to do was bury my head in my hands. I began praying for it to be just a dream, but then I started to hear Audra laughing after a few moments. I looked up to see what I had heard, and I felt as confused as I ever had, seeing that she was actually laughing. _Did she really find all of that funny? Oh dear, this is entirely too awkward for me._

"Wow, you're such a champ. I don't know if I would've had it in me to stay friends with her. It'd be too tempting to not resist." Audra said before throwing a wink my way. I looked over to Sean and saw that he was trying to hold back from jumping across the table and pinning her down to the ground. I cringed at the thought of him actually knocking her out with several blows to her pretty face. _Somebody, up there, please, just take me away._ I prayed and prayed, but none of this was going away.

I was so utterly confused by the entire situation now. I just don't even want to think about any of this no more. This was beyond awkward, and uncalled for, and messy, and just wrong. Everything was going so terribly wrong. It was supposed to be a simple date between Audra and me tonight. That was all I wanted, and maybe some peace too. First, Sammie's upset, and now Sean's meddling and bringing up _Emily_. A part of me had really hoped that she didn't remember who Emily was.

Just when I thought that the night couldn't have gotten much worse, the entrance to the Grille opened again, and in walks Emily and Spencer. _You have got to be kidding me._ I looked over to Sean and saw his happy expression_. Oh dear._ We both looked over to the girls, seeing that they were standing by the counter and ordering take outs instead of dining in. When I saw one of the waitrons walking away from them, I watched as they began to take seats at the bar, probably waiting for their orders. And of course, the next thing I heard was Sean belting out their names from across the room. They looked over with startled expressions before recognizing that it was Sean and I.

Spencer and Emily both looked hesitant to come over, so Sean pulled me out of my chair, somehow finding it in himself to be polite as he excused the both of us from the table before pushing me towards them. They stood up from their seat by the time Sean and I had made it across the room over to the bar. I looked to Spencer and caught her eyes, seeing sadness there as I approached. _What's wrong?_ I looked over to Emily and saw that she seemed unsure of what to say too.

"Spencer! Emily! It's so nice to see you! Where's Hanna and Aria?" Sean asked excitedly. _This fool was so full of life tonight. _I rolled my eyes his way and then waved a little to greet them, not really knowing what to say. I saw Emily smile amusingly out of the corner of my eye, and I wondered if she had caught my eye roll from earlier. It was pretty probable that she did.

"They both went home to have dinner with their families. I was home alone and Emily's keeping me company. We were both starving so we came here for takeout." Spencer explained and poked her head around us to look at our table. "And I see that you have company over there. Are you guys having dinner too?" Spencer asked, looking at me. I was about to answer when Sean decided to open his big mouth again.

"Yeah! We were. Actually, do you guys want to join us for dinner? I mean, you guys have no place else to be, right?" he asked sweetly. If looks can kill, I swear, I'd have him dead by now. I was fuming by the second, and now this was just going overboard. I really didn't understand why he was trying to complicate my life and making it so much harder on me than it already was. I really did not need this right now. My plate was already too full tonight. Before my mind could even register what I was doing, I had already crossed to the other side of the room and pulled out forty dollars from my wallet to pay for dinner and left it on the table. I began to reach my hand out to hold onto Audra's wrist, urging her to stand up and leave with me. She stood up at the gesture, and walked out of the restaurant with me, interlacing our fingers on our way out.

Once the night's cool breeze hit my face, I felt myself calming down a bit and then looked over to Audra. She had look dazed and astonished by my actions, and I saw the slow movements of her stepping towards me, leaning in and giving me a chaste kiss on the lips. I was still trying to regain control of myself from the rage I felt from before, and hadn't enough time to react and stopped her. She looked at me with those dazed hazel eyes again, and I saw that she was about to lean in once more, but I had moved in time to hold her shoulders back.

"Audra…I can't." I breathed out. I really couldn't.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. It's just…the way the things had started tonight. Your friend sitting down at the beginning of our date, and when he took off with you after, but then you came back and rescued me from such an awkward meeting in the end. I'm really sorry, it was really just an in-the-moment kind of action. I wasn't thinking. I –" she barely said as I jumped in.

"I know. I...just don't think it's the right time, Audra." I said and looked through the window of the restaurant, seeing that the stunned trio was still standing there by the bar. This night was just going so terribly wrong.

"_You still love her_." I heard Audra say to me before I looked back at her, discerning how the emotions in her hazel eyes. She reached a hand up to caress my face before saying to me, "It's okay to admit that to yourself, you know." I knew I was afraid. There were so many things I wished I would've told _her_, so many things I wished I should've done, and so many things I wished I could've changed. _But what's passed is past._ I would remind myself of that every day. I closed my eyes and slowly nodded, leaning into her touch and letting her comfort me.

"_I do_." I'd finally confessed. After a long moment of silence, I finally heard her speak.

"_Then you fight like hell for her, you hear me? When you're finally brave enough to start, don't ever let go_." I listened to every single word as her voice dropped to a whisper. We stood there, relishing the bittersweet moment before I felt a light peck on my cheek and begin to hear her footsteps moving farther away from where I stand. When I had opened my eyes again, she was gone and had long disappeared into the dark.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: **Thank you for the new follows and favorites! It makes me so happy to know that people enjoy reading this story. I know it's been a little over two weeks since the last update, but I'm done with exams now and on winter break, so hopefully I'll find time to write more. The next update after this chapter will be coming soon, I promise. :) Please enjoy this and leave a review if you can.

**Pokiepup: **I'm really glad you like the ending. :) It was something I had to really think hard about before writing, because some people really shipped Paige and Audra and some didn't. The parting was sweet though, right? ;) It wasn't something I was planning to write, but it came through in the end. I apologize for not updating right away because of the exams in the past weeks, but I see that you haven't been either so I don't feel so bad. ;) Your story is AWESOME! Why wouldn't I love it the way I do? You need to update! I'm waiting. Thank you so much for your support all this time! I hope that you enjoy this chapter just as much as the previous ones. Have a wonderful day, okay? :)

**Rushi: **I had you in mind when I was writing the previous chapter. I was like, "Hm, how would Rushi like to see this Paige/Audra scene played out…?" Sean totally reminds me of you for sure. The ending was also for you! :) I knew how much you shipped Paily and it was really hard for me to let Audra go, but I partly did it for you. Thank you for always coming back to read. I really love hearing from you, and I didn't know many way to show you how much I appreciate your support so I decided to write in that "surprise ending" for you. Please enjoy this chapter! I do hope that you have a good day! :)

**Rain'sMistress: **I LOL for SOOOO LONG after reading your review. Sean may be a cockblock, BUT he is pretty amazing and a likable character. I was hoping that the Paily shippers would enjoy his intrusion on Paige's date with Audra. You need to update your story! I can't wait to read more. I've been waiting and waiting while studying for exams, and now exams are over and I'm done writing this chapter but you haven't even updated yet. :( I'm so glad that you enjoy my story. It's so flattering that you do. Thank you so much for the review! It made my day, really. I hope that you enjoy this chapter just as much as the previous one. You go have a wonderful day too, alright? ;)

**H: **Thank you for the story even though my writing is not up to par. I really appreciate your honesty and all the constructive criticisms you've given me. I hope this one is all right to read for you. Small improvement is better than none, right? Thank you for returning and supporting this story! It really means so much and I'm glad that I'm fortunate enough to have you stop by and teach me how to improve my writing. I will always be grateful for that. I hope that you'll have a good day ahead. :)

**Cici: **I'm the bomber?! hahahahaha That's got to be one of the best compliments I've ever gotten. ;) Thank you so much! I totally ship McHastings too. I will keep that in mind for future chapters. I've seen so many Caleb/Paige bromance scenes that I really couldn't find it in myself to write more of that. Therefore I turned to Sean when I was re-watching the episode where Paige goes on a fake date with him. You will find out whether she's the self-sabotaging queen you think she is very soon. You know, I am SO surprised that you love the previous chapter THAT much. I was so prepared to not get many positive feedbacks and hearing from you was like…Wow. I was really sitting in one place for about ten or so minutes rereading your review because it really surprised me and made me so incredibly happy. ;) You are the best! Thank you for all of your positive reviews, they really make my day. Thank you so so so so so much for being so supportive all along! I hope that you enjoy this jampacked chapter too. Please have a wonderful day! :)

**Jamscottroc54: **I'm so happy to hear that the chapter made your day! Your review made MY DAY. ;) I was so sure that you would LOVE Sean. hahaha No matter how evil you think Sean is, I know FOR SURE that you loved him for being so evil! ;) Am I right, or am I right? hahaha OMG your irritated facial expressions gets me every time. I loved it when I read "She just needs to be awesome somewhere else, with someone else." in your review because that line was just so perfect and holds true for the story. ;) I'm still waiting on "the talk" too, but I hope that you enjoy this chapter nonetheless. I hope that you have a wonderful day! :)

**Del: **AHHH I was DYING by the time I got to your review because I can't BELIEVE how many people loved the previous chapter. I mean, it was a really nice surprised and when I got to your review, it was like "Alright, if Del says so too, it's got to be true." We do not know what happened between Paige and Emily yet before all of this happen. It will be coming up soon though. :) So…stay tune! hehehe Thank you SO MUCH for your wonderful reviews and kind words. I cannot thank you enough for how much YOU make me happy. Your happiness from reading this story is my happiness. ;) I hope you enjoy this update. Have a wonderful day!

**Sazar: **I'm glad you understand my justifications for Emily's actions and letting the car incident happen. The 3x08 déjà vu suggestion is really neat! I'll keep that in mind when I'm writing. I'm really glad that you found Sean's part entertaining. I was hoping it was not too outrageous and unbelievable. I mean, who invites themselves onto their friend's date and then invites other people onto their friend's date too? Only Sean would. Hahaha ;) I'm happy to know that you would've shipped Paily/Audra. It would've been a nice pairing. I just couldn't find it in myself to let them get to know each other on a deeper level and then go through all the drama and hurt when I have to break them up, you know? Audra doesn't deserve that. I'm so happy that you continue to love this story. You don't know how much that means to me. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm sorry for taking so long to update. Please have a wonderful day! :)

**TheShawmeister:** I just wanted to let you know that I received your virtual tap. Thank you! I finding myself laughing when you said you were flipping out at the McHastings scene. They're awesome together. ;) I'm glad you enjoy Sean's character as much as I do. It was really amusing to write his scenes. It was really hard for me to intrude on the date like that. I mean, I felt ENTIRELY AWKWARD because I was the one writing it. I'm sorry Paige can't remember the car ride! hahaha I kind-of wish she did too. God, I can only imagine what it'd be like when she does recall the car ride… hehe ;) I hope you enjoy this chapter. I wish you luck on your adventure in finding 'her' where you are. Have a beautiful day! :)

**Gigabyte1: **Can I tell you how much I LOVE your new story? It's so wonderful thus far. Your writing continues to affect me so much. ;) Hahahaha I'm so glad that you enjoy Sean's part and that you're growing to like Audra…now that she's out of the picture. I really love Paige and Spencer's relationship too. You have no idea! :) I apologize that this update wasn't quick, but I hope that you enjoy this chapter nonetheless. It is quite something. ;) Thank you for supporting this story and always coming back to give me positive feedbacks. I hope that you have a wonderful day! :)

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

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**Emily's POV**

Hanna, Aria, and I decided to head over to Spencer's after lingering around the café for way too long. It was about an hour before noon, so we assumed she'd already gotten back from Melissa's. Hanna suggested that even if she hadn't come back, we could always let ourselves in with one of our spare keys she's given us and lounge around as we wait for her arrival. Fortunately, we saw her car in the driveway when we arrived and we knocked on the side door of her house out of customary code for polite behavior, so Spencer would come open the door. It didn't take her long before we saw her behind the glass door and heard the unclicking of the door lock.

"Hey guys, I didn't know we were having one of those 'unannounced party at Spencer's place' again today. What gives?" she asked jokingly. Hanna shoved the cup of coffee we got for Spencer into her hands and walked past her without any admonition. Spencer looked taken aback for a bit before regaining her composure and stepping aside to let us in. Aria and I shrugged on our way in and laughed when we saw Hanna's head tucked into the Hastings's fridge and then seeing her back out to place all the food and containers she dug out onto the kitchen counter.

"Oh, and you're welcome to raid my fridge anytime, Hanna," Spencer said sarcastically, and smirked when Hanna turned around and gave her a menacing glare.

"Spencer, I'm hungry. Why don't you guys have anything edible in here? How am I supposed to eat this?" Hanna asked as she lifted up a container with some kind of thick paste in it.

"That's hummus. It's a Middle Eastern dish." Spencer said as a matter of fact.

"Don't you have anything more filling to eat? Like leftover pizza or something?" she asked. Spencer shook her head and then went over to where Hanna was and put everything back into the fridge. Hanna pouted and tried to swat Spencer's hands away in vain. "Hey! I could've eaten that!" Hanna whined.

"No, you wouldn't have. How about we go play some tennis at the country club and have lunch there? My treat." Spencer said triumphantly. Hanna squealed and jumped onto Spencer. Luckily, Spencer had quick reflex and held onto her quickly to balance the two of them before they'd both fall over on the kitchen's floor. Hanna's legs were wrapped around Spencer's middle and her arms around her neck as Spencer held onto her. Aria and I turned to look at each other and then burst out laughing at the twosome.

"Emily, are you enjoying this as much as I am?" Aria turned to me again and asked, trying to contain her laughter. I quickly nodded and bumped shoulders with her. "I need a change of clothes though. Want to ride home with me?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure." I said and then turned to the duo, "Hey you guys, Aria and I are going to head back to her place so she can change. Do you want to come with us too, Hanna?" Spencer let go of Hanna, and she plopped back down onto her feet and turned to Spencer.

"Hey Spence, we're about the same size, well except I might be more endowed in some other areas than you are…but I think I can fit into your clothes. Can I borrow some of yours instead?" Hanna asked sweetly. Spencer turned to her and arched an eyebrow, as though daring Hanna to utter another word, but Hanna just rose up both hands into the air and raised her eyebrows in return. "Hey, I'm just sayin' homes. It's not my fault that I was blessed with these babies," she said while placing her hands over her breasts and giving them a squeeze. Aria and I laughed again and even Spencer tried to suppress a snicker at her.

"Fine, you can borrow my shirt and skort. As long as you try to tuck _those_ _babies_ away so you don't stretch out my clothes." she said to Hanna, and then turned to Aria and me. "How about you guys head over to the country club after Aria changes, and Hanna and I will meet you there?"

"Alright, sounds good. Come on Em, let's go." Aria said and led the way out of the house. When we got into the car, Aria cranked up the radio when we heard Iris by Goo Goo Dolls come on. Aria started singing along with the tune.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you,_

_'Cause I know that you feel me somehow,_

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,_

_And I don't want to go home right now…_

_And all I can taste is this moment,_

_And all I can breathe is your life,_

_When sooner or later it's over,_

_I just don't want to miss you tonight…_

_And I don't want the world to see me,_

_'Cause I don't think that they'd understand,_

_When everything's made to be broken,_

_I just want you to know who I am…_

"Wow! Aria, where did that voice come from?" I asked eagerly. I've never heard her sing like this before. What a bolt from the blue. That was so powerful, and incredibly heartfelt and true. Aria smiled shyly my way before turning her eyes back onto the road.

"I took some singing lessons in my spare time during the first semester this school year. It's a form of art." she said as we pulled up to her house. She turned off the engine and we both got out of the car and headed into her house. Walking up the stairs, I noticed that not much has changed since the last time I've been here. The mahogany walls have not faded much and the scent in the house remained the same. It was comforting to know that not everything has changed.

When we got to her room, I just sat down on her bed as she went and changed. When she came back in spandex shorts and a loose sleeveless shirt, I couldn't help but laugh at how adorable she looked.

"What? This is as 'jock-looking' as I can get Em," she teased. I threw a pillow her way but she caught it perfectly. So I stood up and walked out of her bedroom.

"Come on, let's hit the road, shorty!" I said as she trailed behind.

* * *

On the ride over to the country club, Aria and I talked about everything and anything there was to talk about. She briefly mentioned about three new friends she's made at school and how each one of them seemed to resemble Spencer, Hanna, and me in some ways. It was amazing how the four of us had gone through the last two years apart. Well, by the time she had rambled on about something with Ezra and their apartment, my head was already in the clouds, thinking about the previous night with Paige.

Perhaps we –

"Em, are you listening to me?" Aria's question shook me out of my trance, and I glanced over at her and saw a look of concern.

"Sorry, I had some other things on my mind," I explained and shrunk in my seat from getting caught by her. She nodded her head and did not press on about what had distracted me from our conversation, and turned her attention back onto the road. After a few minutes of silence, I felt as though the tension between us had unexplainably grown at an alarming rate, and I finally burst out telling her about the way I feel because of how guilty I felt keeping all of this to myself.

"Paige and I – we…we _did it_ in the car last night," I quickly turned away and looked out the window in embarrassment as soon as the words escaped my lips. Almost immediately, the car came to an abrupt stop and I looked over to see Aria's shocked wide-eye expression. Her hands were still gripping the steering wheel quite tightly, but she had her entire upper body turned towards me.

"You did _what_?" she asked tentatively. I gave her the _"Are you seriously asking me to explain in explicit details about what we did?" _look and she opened her mouth, as if she was going to say something but nothing came out. She closed her mouth and then shook her head as though trying to get the mental picture out of her thoughts.

"Wait, I don't understand. Why was she asking me this morning if you've forgiven her after you guys, you know…_last night_? And in a _car_?" she asked, and confusion loomed over all parts of her facial features. That was a really good question. What was there to forgive? If anything, _I _should be the one apologizing.

"It was… Well, she was drunk…and I…should've stopped it…and…let me start from the beginning so it doesn't sound as bad as it probably does right now…from what I can tell of all those faces you're making."

I proceeded to tell her everything that happened from when I got to the bar until I left Paige in the car this morning. She didn't say a word, but rather nodded to acknowledge every single detail I told her. Truth be told, I was really a bundle of nerves retelling the events that happened the night before. It was like I was reliving those moments once more, and it's strange how my memories were bringing me to tears. In that moment, I had finally understood why she asked Aria if I've forgiven her yet. I let out a breath of frustration from all the sad memories that came back in a rush. _No, no I haven't._ It was just a moment. I got sucked into the moment and lost control. That doesn't mean anything. It doesn't mean anything to her. It never had. I have to remind myself of that. It will never mean anything to her.

"You should talk to her, Emily." Aria said. _Talk to her_? What was I supposed to talk to her about? What happened in the car? What happened two years ago when she – A honk from a car behind us alerted Aria and I, and she began to set the car in motion again.

"It's just…she left me, Aria. And after last night…it finally hit me that…I still love her and…I really can't go through another heartbreak. There are only so many I can go through..." I confessed. I wasn't scared of the free-fall. I've experienced how amazing it felt to be freefalling in love with her. But I knew the outcome of it. I knew so well that once I hit rock bottom, I would never have the strength to get back up again. I knew how I'd end up. And I know better now not to play with fire.

"What if she tries to talk to you?" Aria asked.

"I'll figure out what to do when it happens. Why worry about something that hasn't yet happened, right?"

"Wow, look at you. When did _Emily Fields _become so rational? Have you been meeting with Spencer behind our backs again?" she teased.

"Now that you mention her, can I ask you something?" I changed the subject.

"Shoot." she said as she took a right turn.

"Maybe I've been away for too long, but does it seem like Spencer's changed and she's not like her rational self any more? Sometimes, I even feel like she's more in touch with my feelings than I am." I shared.

"Hm…now that you bring it up, I can see why you feel that way. She's definitely grown more…empathetic now if that's what you mean. People change, Em. Spencie's a softie now, _so what_?" Aria smirked as she said this. I chuckled, realizing that Aria's taken on a much more humorous personality over the years and had changed as well. "I'm really glad that you still trust me enough to confide in me about this, Emily. It means a lot. Over the years, I thought that things have changed so much that we couldn't go back to the way we used to be. We all missed you a lot when you were away, you know?" Okay, scratch that, Aria was still as emotional as she always was. Oh sweet, emotional Aria… We pulled up to the entrance of the country club and we both got out of the car as Aria gave the keys to one of the guys standing in front. Before we walked in, I turned to her and continued from where we left off the conversation earlier.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just…needed space. I'm here now, and I hope that that is enough. I hope you can keep this between us though. I'm not ready for the girls to know yet." I said. She pulled me into a hug and we held onto each other for a while before letting go.

"Of course. I'm so happy that you've decided to come home, Emily." she said and squeezed one of my hands. _Me too, Aria, me too…_

* * *

While Spencer and Aria were busy playing doubles with another couple on the tennis court, Hanna and I sat at one of the tables near the court and watched them own the other team. It was quite a fierce game with Spencer running back and forth like she had forgotten Aria was standing right there waiting for a chance to swing at the ball. At least Spencer had kept her competitive streak. It was really entertaining to watch. Hanna and I laughed and cheered when the guy on the opposing team missed the ball, but Aria only rolled her eyes at Spencer as she passed her by. Spencer flashed her an apologetic smile and tossed a tennis ball her way. Aria caught it with a surprisingly quick reflex and smiled triumphantly as she made her way over to the other side to serve.

"So, I have to tell you something…" Hanna turned my attention away from the game.

"Yeah?" I said and looked at her in a way to encourage her to continue.

"Okay, how weird is it that I've seen two of your exes in less than a day's time?" she asked out of the blue. Which other ex was she talking about? She must've sensed my confusion because she continued, "I was stopping by the gas station before I went home yesterday and by some stroke of luck, I bumped into Samara. I didn't recognize her at first but then she came over and said hi, and it wasn't until she was up-close that I realized it was _her_. God, there I was standing, wondering why the hell all these blondes were showing up in our lives out of nowhere. I mean, come on! First, that pretty blonde girl showed up with Paige at the Grille, then Samara coming up to me at the gas station, and then seeing Professor Reed walk past me this morning out of the café with Paige was beyond weird. Em, I think it's a sign. The universe is trying to tell _us_ something. You need to do something about this! There has to be some kind of conspiracy going on here!" Hanna said, and her eyes were now widened. I let out a sigh, trying to process everything she just told me, but my mind only went blank. I really couldn't make anything of everything she had just said. It was even crazier that she worded it in a way that made the entire situation her problem.

"Okay, first of all, it's not _your _problem," I said, and Hanna suddenly looked crestfallen by my words but I tried to save myself, "No, you know I didn't mean it in that way. Look, Samara…and I haven't spoken in ages and she's an ex, all right? There's nothing going on, and it's the least of my concern that she's in town. Second, weren't you listening when Sammie introduced herself to us as Paige's best friend yesterday? And lastly, I honestly have no comments to add about your 'professor' from this morning, and I'd really appreciate it if we stop talking about this."

"But Emily – " she said before I cut her off.

"No buts!" I gave her an expectant look to drop the subject. It didn't make sense to me why she had even brought that up at all. If anything, it entirely confused me all the more, and I was in no position to analyze all these relationships that was going on. There were so many connections and questions I wanted answers to, but I was also okay with not knowing anything.

"Spencer and Aria might hate me for saying this, but I really need to. Emily, can't you see that you only have eyes for Paige? Even if she weren't in the room or out here on the tennis court with us, we can almost feel her presence here when we look you in the eyes. It's getting _that _intense. You've been hiding and running away from all of us for the past two years in that insane boot camp at Danby, and I really thought that things have begun to change and you're finally coming out of that shell again when you decided to come home. But you're still hiding. Why are you so afraid to look it in the eye and admit to yourself that you still want her?" she said and looked me in the eye with all the anguish of losing a friend. I could tell that she was afraid that she had scared me away and make me want to retreat back to Danby. A part of me did want to run away, but I knew I was stronger than I thought I was, so I stayed rooted in place.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I have to apologize for leaving the way I did two years ago for it to be enough, but I am truly sorry, Hanna. The hurt from losing her…it made me want to hide away from everything. I didn't want the people I knew to see how hurt I was. I had already felt beaten and damaged beyond repair. I couldn't look at my own best friends in the eye, let alone the people in Rosewood. When I finally got to Danby, it felt like I've really gotten away from everything. I thought that I'd finally feel like _me_ again, but the more I tried to deceive myself into thinking that I was okay, the more it hurts when I actually think about everything that's happened. The only thing I had going in my life was swimming, and I dedicated everything I had to it. It was my rock. It was what held me steady and helped me persevere. Suddenly, everything's being thrown my way nonstop ever since I've gotten back, and I… The last thing I need right now is to think about it. If I think about it, Hanna… I don't think I can go on any more. I don't think…I will ever find it in myself to come back to you guys again, and I can't bear losing you too." I started to tear up and I saw that Hanna was too.

"Don't cry, Em, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." Hanna said as she lifted up a hand to wipe away a tear that had escaped from my left eye. I reached up to her face and wiped away the tears that were threatening to fall from her eyes. I leaned in and gave her a kiss on her forehead before drawing myself back and attempting to smile. Hanna leaned towards me and gave me a tender kiss on the cheek, and pulled me into her arms. I wasn't sure how long it lasted, but I heard someone clearing their throat nearby and I began to withdraw from our embrace. I looked up to see that Spencer and Aria were staring at us.

"Are we interrupting something here?" Spencer asked, sounding unsure.

"Yes, you were. Emily and I were having a moment. Now if you two can please leave and give us…" Hanna trailed off before reaching into her bag and pulling out her vibrating cellphone. "Mom? Yeah? I'm with the girls. You know, Emily, Aria, and Spencer. Okay. What time? And you need that _now_? Okay, _fine_. I will, I will. I'll see you in a bit. Bye mom, love you!" Hanna rolled her eyes as she ended the call and looked at us, "My mom wants me home now to help cook for the dinner tonight with daddio. Spence, is it okay if we stop by the grocery store on the way to your home? I need to pick up something for my mom."

"Sure. Emily, do you want to come with us or are you riding with Aria?" Spencer asked.

"I'll go with Aria," I said almost immediately. I needed a favor from her anyway.

"Okay then, meet up at my place in a bit?" Spencer asked.

"Oh, sorry Spence, I have to pick up Ezra from the airport and then drive back for dinner with the family too. I'll just drop Emily off on my way home," Aria said.

"Em? Please tell me you don't have plans for dinner with your mom as well. My parents are out of town and it'd be really nice – "

"Sure, I'll keep you company. Just let me go home and change first. I'll meet up at your place after." I jumped in.

"Okay, good. I'll see you later," she said to me and then turned to Aria, "and I'll see you…when I see you."

"Really, Spencer? Is that all you've got to say to me after I help you win that match?" Aria folded her arms. Hanna rolled her eyes and started pulling Spencer away by her arm as she was about to open her mouth.

"No, not another word from your mouth, Spence. Now let's go before my mom gets on my case about making her wait on me all the time. _Now_, Spencer!" she said as she yanked Spencer away from us. I turned to Aria and hoped that she had a little bit of time before she had to go pick up Ezra.

"Aria, I know you have to go to the airport soon, but is it alright if you drop me off at the karaoke bar that's a little outside of town so that I can pick up my car?" I asked.

"Sure thing, let's get going so I can make it to the airport on time." she said.

"Yeah, definitely, I owe you one. Thank you so much!" I said.

"What are friends for?" she smiled my way.

* * *

After I picked up my car and headed home for a shower, I changed into a pair of jean shorts and a white t-shirt, and made my way over to Spencer's. We ended up watching a movie until the both of us had agreed to go get takeout from the Grille and head back for another film. The first few minutes of the drive were quiet until Spencer decided to break the silence.

"Remember that time when we were sitting in my car waiting for school to start? We got coffee and then decided to stay in the car to keep warm because it was so cold outside..."

"_Oh god,_ of course I remember. I couldn't get you to shut up when you kept on teasing me about Bo because I had gotten a better grade than you did on that group project – " Spencer cut me off before I could finish.

"Oh, come on! Something fishy was _definitely_ going on between you two during those _afterschool hours_ you said you had to go to. Plus, I didn't hear anybody else addressing _Ms. Allen_ by her first name during that entire junior year except for _you_. We were in the same group for god's sake! It was favoritism, I tell you! It should be added on to the list of the most unfair things in the world!" Spencer pouted in her driver's seat.

"Well, if you would've stopped talking then, I wouldn't have resorted to tickling you, and if you hadn't squirm and fought back – "

"_What!_ How could you even expect someone to stay still and let you tickle them to death?" Spencer asked in disbelief. After a moment of silence, we both broke into laughter as the rest of the memories started flooding back.

"It was totally your fault that Hanna and Aria wouldn't get off my back about the car incident for that entire week!" I exclaimed. The windows had fogged up from inside the car and because we were wrestling from our little tickle fight, Spencer's car was swaying back and forth a bit from the outside. The next thing we knew, someone was knocking on Spencer's window and trying to peer into the glass. She had pulled down her window and there stood Hanna and Aria. They both had surprised expressions imprinted on their faces.

"I still don't understand why they would even doubt our platonic relationship for one second." Spencer laughed.

"One _week._" I corrected her and I saw her smirked out of the corner of my eye. I heard her sigh from the other side of the car and glanced over to see why. She was leaning her head in her hand as her elbow rest on the car door. I wonder what was going on inside her head. She was always thinking. It seem like it was all she was ever doing recently.

Spencer pulled into a parking space near the Grille and we walked to the restaurant. It was looked a bit magical from the outside. The dark had overtaken the night and the only lights that were visible were coming out from the stores that lit up the street. The lights formed an enchanting halo around the restaurant, and as we walked in, we were greeted with dimmer lights that romanticized the entire place. We walked over to the counter and Spencer ordered our usual take out foods. After we had paid, Spencer and I sat at the bar and just looked at each other as though expecting the other to speak first. That was until we heard someone shout our names from somewhere on the other side of the room. We both looked over to see who it was, and after letting my eye focus on a table of three, I recognized Sean, Paige, and the girl Paige was walking with out of the café this morning. _So they're all friends. That is interesting._ I looked over at Spencer and she shook her head a bit, letting me know she didn't want to go over. That didn't stop Paige and Sean from coming over though, because before I knew it, they had already made their way across the room and standing before us.

"Spencer! Emily! It's so nice to see you! Where's Hanna and Aria?" Sean asked excitedly. I looked over to Paige, wondering if she was as in a good mood as Sean was, but I caught her rolling her eyes Sean's way. She didn't say anything but waved hello to us instead. I smiled out of amusement, wondering what _that_ was all about. I secretly admired her body in the outfit tonight and wondered what the occasion was.

"They both went home to have dinner with their families. I was home alone and Emily's keeping me company. We were both starving so we came here for takeout." Spencer explained and I saw her trying to look over at the table Paige and Sean was sitting at. The girl was sitting alone and glancing over at us curiously. "And I see that you have company over there. Are you guys having dinner too?" Spencer asked as her eyes shifted towards Paige's way. It seemed like Paige was about to answer when Sean decided to cut in and spoke for the both of them.

"Yeah! We were. Actually, do you guys want to join us for dinner? I mean, you guys have no place else to be, right?" he asked sweetly. Before I could look over to Spencer and asked if she wanted to stay, Paige had rushed off without warning and left the three of us stunned in place. I watched as she pulled the girl, who Hanna said this morning was once her English professor, out of the restaurant. They stood outside for a few moments before I saw them kissed.

I looked away to hide from what I saw and turned my body away from the windows of the restaurant. _They had kissed_. I thought we were going to talk about last night. She said so this morning at the café. _I thought…I thought…no…_ Why was she doing this to me? I loved her. Why couldn't she see that? Why couldn't she see that what she's doing was hurting me? Why wasn't I ever enough for her? Did last night meant nothing at all? _Who does she think she is?_ I felt my blood beginning to boil. Why did I even think she was ever going to care again? _She never did_. That was who she became the day she walked out on me. She could just pick up and leave whenever she wanted, because it wouldn't pain her the same way that it had torment me over the years. From the moment she left until now, I've spent so much time trying to understand _her reason_ for choosing to break up with me. I huffed out my frustration at how foolish I've been all this time, thinking that things might work out one day. I'd never realize that when the day came and things would work out, it'd meant for me to finally move on.

"_Who is she?_" I suddenly heard Spencer asked.

"Ugh, don't get me started. They were on some stupid date…and I totally crashed it! You both should've been there! I pounced on her with so much force, and damn, that chick was a hard nut to crack. But still, it was _ah-maze-zing. _You guys should've seen her face." Sean said with pride_. Date?_ _Seriously?_ I couldn't help but roll my eyes because I was getting more and more irritated by the second with the thought of Paige going on a date tonight after I had made her cry out in pleasure the night before. _She sure likes to get around now. _

"Date? As in a _romantic date_?" Spencer asked more specifically. He nodded and they both continued to look out the windows. I just wanted to go home now. Or go for a run. I'd rather be anywhere but here. I saw one of the waitrons making their way over to us and I stepped forward to take the paper bag away. I thanked them and turned to Spencer, hoping she was ready to leave. She must've felt my eyes burning through the side of her head because she turned around and I gestured for her to tell Sean we were leaving.

"Hey Sean, we've got to go, but it was really nice seeing you again," Spencer said and went in for a hug. After he'd hug Spencer, he came over and wrapped his arms around me as well.

"I know you weren't looking, but it seems like Paige just told that lady friend of hers to scram." Sean whispered into my ear. When we both pulled away, he gave me a playful smile and waved goodbye to the both of us as he made his way back to the table he was sitting at with the girls.

Spencer and I walked outside, and I noticed that neither of the girls was there any more. The car ride back to Spencer's place was pretty quiet. I guess Spencer was afraid she'd say the wrong thing. I just really had nothing to say either. When she finally parked her car next to mine in the driveway, I turned to her while unbuckling my seatbelt.

"Hey Spence, I'm really not in the mood to have dinner and watch a movie any more. Would it be all right with you if I just head home?" I asked almost pleadingly. She must've heard the vulnerability in the tone of my voice so she reluctantly complied with my wish.

"Here, let me just get your food." she said as she turned in her seat to try and reach around for the paper bag with our food. I rested my hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"It's alright. I really don't have an appetite any more. Just keep the leftover in the fridge. I'm sure Hanna will raid your fridge again another day this week." I said and tried to smile a little. She nodded and I pulled my hand back to reach for the handle and open the passenger door. I made the short distance to my car and let out a breath as I backed out of the Hastings's driveway.

* * *

After I'd gotten home, I had gone straight up to my room and sat at the window seat. It had been another eventful day, filled with all kinds of disappointment. I leaned my head against the window as the right side of my body leaned into the wall. I brought my knees up close to my chest and then wrapped my arms around my legs. After letting out the millionth sigh of the day, my eyes began to wander outside the window.

_The doorbell rang and I sprang up from the bed almost immediately. Paige had called earlier and told me she had wanted to talk. A part of me felt scared. Things have been…weird between us lately. I couldn't put a name to it, but something was different. I wasn't sure if it was on my part or if something has been going on with her that she hadn't told me. I practically raced down the stairs and flung the door open without thinking. When she was finally in sight after the door had opened, I noticed that Paige was looking down at the ground. It took a moment before I saw her look up at me and she tried to smile but it faltered as she saw the concern written all over my face. _

"_Hey, is everything okay?" I asked as I reached for her arm to pull her into the house. She was quiet, but she let me pull her up the stairs and into my room. When I finally closed the door and turned on my heels to face her, I saw that she was already sitting at the window seat. I walked over slowly, trying to discern her emotions, but I really couldn't tell what was going on in her mind. I sat down next to her and reached over for her hands and brought them into my lap. When I looked over and caught her eyes, I felt her withdraw her hands from mine. _

"_What's going on, Paige?" I asked again. I really don't understand. Why was she pulling away from me? _

"_I…I think we should see other people, Emily." As soon as the words escaped her lips, I felt myself losing sensation of the world around me. She's breaking up with me? Why? What have I done wrong?_

"_W-why?" I had managed to utter aloud. _

"_No, it's not like that, Emily. I… Don't you think we're too young to be this serious?" She had to be kidding, right? _

"_It's not like what, Paige? Why are you doing this?" I asked angrily. _

"_I'm just saying that I think we should leave our options open. We can still be together, but just not exclusive." she said coolly. _

"_But I don't want to be with anybody else! Can't you see that? I just want you." I quickly exclaim, trying to veil how heartbroken I was that what we had wasn't enough for her. I reached out for her hands again but she pulled away once more. I thought we had a really good thing going here. Couldn't she see how much I love her? Couldn't she see that – _

"_You don't know that for sure, Emily. What if you meet someone really amazing at Danby? I know how you are. You'd stay faithful to me, and – " _

"_Is this what it's about?" I interrupted. I let out a sigh of relief. "Look Paige, I don't care about anybody else. I'm happy just being with you." I saw her cringe a little after I finished. It would've gone unnoticed if I hadn't been observing her carefully. _

"_No, Emily, you don't understand. I… I've decided I'm going to go to U Penn." What? U Penn.? But I thought we've already decided we'd go to Danby together? Why was she suddenly changing her mind?_

"_U Penn.? …U Penn.?! Why didn't you discuss this with me before?" I demanded._

"_It's my decision to make." she said coldly. My heart dropped at the tone of her voice. Why was she being like this? Stay calm, Emily. Control your emotions. _

"_When did you decide that you were going to go to U Penn.?" I calmly asked after a few moments of silence._

"_In May." she gave a curt response. Three months? She waited that long to tell me? What else had she been hiding from me? I felt myself wanting to cry, but I tried to control the tears from falling. Why was she doing this now? _

"_Why are you telling me this now? Why not tell me then?" Why did she waited this long to break my heart? Why did she decide to draw this out until now? I watched as she tears her eyes away from my gaze and looked out the window. _

"_I thought that what we had was really sacred then. As time went on, I realized that I couldn't be selfish. We're both still young and haven't seen much of the world yet. I'd feel better about it if we set new boundaries, you know, see other people, not having to be exclusive, and have fun." she said with ease. I looked at her in disbelief. See other people? Have fun? Yeah, selfish doesn't even begin to explain everything._

"_I can't." I finally said. I felt so distraught but I continued, "I can't do it. It's all or nothing for me." She was looking at me now, but the look in her eyes was telling me that she had expected it. She knew. _

"_I know." she said. I know? Is that all she has to say? She's not even going to put up a fight? Not even going to try to tell me to stay? Did she not love me any more? Had she fallen out of love with me? What was I to her all this time? I wanted to hate her for what she was doing to me. I knew I was lying to myself, but I just wished I'd hate her as much as I love her. I hated that I love her so much. After all we've been through, she's just going to let it come to an end like this? _

"_So go." I said with as much disdain as I can muster. Stay. Please stay. Don't leave me. I wished she'd stay. It was tearing me apart inside. Knowing that she could stay but wouldn't. And I was right. She stood up and put a hand on my shoulder as though to comfort me. I shrugged away her touch and looked out the window, turning my back to her. I felt her moving away from me, footsteps leading to the door, and finally heard the door to my bedroom close. I closed my eyes as tears finally fell, and heard the front door to the house closed. She left me. Just like that. Like it was the easiest thing in the world to do. I opened my eyes and stared out the window, watching her walk away from the house while tears were streaming down my face. I kept on staring at her back, hoping she'd turn around and come running my way, but she didn't. She just kept on walking away. Soon, she disappeared. I had completely pushed her away. All that I was left staring at now was the mess I made. The void space that would never be filled again. _

The memories of that day stung a bit more sitting here.

Even after she had tore my heart apart, I wonder if she still feels my love.

I wish she'd stayed.

I still feel her even without touch.

She somehow kept my heart without chains.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Here's the quick update as promised. Please take a moment and breathe in deeply before you begin. :) To all my readers, I hope that you'll have a wonderful day ahead. Cheers! **

**Nae10: **I know it's heartbreaking… It was hard to write those emotions. I would sometimes wonder why someone would hurt the person they love. It just doesn't make sense, does it? If you love someone, why would you hurt them? Whether or not it was intentional, it makes sense why Emily still holds that against her and feels betrayed. Thank you for the follow, favorite, and review! I hope you continue to love this story and enjoy this chapter. Have a good day! :)

**Cici:** I had forewarned you that the previous chapter was as jampacked as the one before it. ;) I like how you know the right questions to ask, because one of your inquiries will be answered in this chapter. I also love how you get the subtle meanings of the characters' lines in the story. It's almost as if you're in touch with my psyche. :) I hope that Paige will remember the car incident with Emily too. Let's keep our fingers crossed, yeah? In the meantime, I hope that you enjoy this chapter. It's Definitely getting juicier, my friend. :) Have a wonderful day!

**Del:** You get anxious for my updates?! ;D Ahhh, that's GOT to be the most adorable thing I've ever heard anyone say to me about my updates. I'm so happy that you're happy to see updates. ;) I really wanted to show how Emily interacts with each of the girls. With Aria, she never has any expectations or asks questions. She's the friend who's going to be there when you're ready to talk instead of asking questions. With Hanna, she's the friend who's always trying to find out what's going on, so she tries to get it out of you and forces you to tell her, because you can never do it on your own. With Spencer, she's the friend who knows when to ask questions, when to talk, and when to stick to safer topics. You really see Emily opening up to Aria in the previous chapter, and it shows a whole other side of their friendship you've never seen before. I like classic high school breakups, but with a twist. ;) And you're right, Paige still loves Emily even though she tries to forget her. I hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as I had a good time writing it. ;) Have a beautiful day!

**Gigabyte1:** You don't think it's a compelling reason to break up? You might want to rethink that, buddy. I feel really sad seeing betrayed and devastated Emily is too. You have a lot of questions going on there… Hopefully this chapter will help clear some 'wonders' you have in that incredible story making brain of yours. ;) You need to remember, it was Audra who leaned in and kissed Paige, not the other way around. hahaha Emily perceived it as them kissing though. Handing over the power to Spencer, Aria, and Hanna to take charge and reunite the couple? Uh, I might have to REALLY think hard about that one… But for the moment, please enjoy this chapter. :) Have a wonderful day (and update your story)!

**Rain'sMistress:** Writer's block? Thank you for reviewing! I really wonder what you meant by "Great chapter" but it sounds like a positive thing, so I'll just accept that. ;) I will be waiting patiently for your update. Have a good day!

**Pokiepup:** I'm so glad that the previous chapter did not disappoint! You have no idea how much of a relief it was hearing that from you. Seriously romantic in real life? Hm, I don't know about that…but I'm glad that I can write a romantic story from what you're saying (because that was what I was aiming for). ;) The ending of the chapter was sad. Definitely. It was funny, because there I was sitting at a café writing all these fun and overwhelming scenes between Emily and the girls, and then it came towards the end and the tone just got so serious. The mood shifted so dramatically that it surprised me as well. I had enjoyed writing it though. I hope that this chapter will not disappoint either. :) Have a wonderful day!

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

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**Paige's POV**

After staying rooted in front of the restaurant for several more minutes, I took a last glance at the threesome through the window and then finally decided to walk alone through the quiet streets. I didn't have a destination in mind, but my feet led me through town to where I knew I would end up. The atmospheric conditions were just perfect tonight. It wasn't too warm and there was a faint breeze that had accompanied the warmness of the night. Even though the sky was dark, I was still able to make out the clouds. While the light of the moon did help me discerned them from the dark, I was able to see the puffy clouds in darker parts of the sky too.

When I had finally gotten a close distance to the start of the path, I made my way onto the Big Tree trail in the dark without any regard. I was hoping I still knew my way around the trunks and roots, carefully stepping over branches and limbs that were in the way of the shortcut route that I had taken. I haven't been here in years and had hoped that not much has changed. The last time I came to this place, I showed up alone to seek solace but it was only in vain. It really wasn't the same without _her_ here. But something about tonight called for it. _I needed to be here._ I sighed as I neared the Lake Meadow, and began to realize something about myself.

I didn't love many things in life, but I knew that this was unquestionably one of the places that I love.

It still looked like how I had left it two years ago, and in that moment, I felt like I couldn't imagine anything more beautiful than the sight before me. Trekking past more sequoias in the dark, the view of the Lake Meadow began opening up, and I saw the meadow's moonlit reflection in the still water.

_I was pulling up to the house with my bike when I noticed that there were two men with tool belts standing before the front door with dad. Huh, are we going to have some renovation done on the house again? As I neared them, I noticed that there was a distinct crack on the garage door about two feet wide and one foot in length. Whoa, what happened? Dad noticed my presence and smiled at me, almost apologetically. Mom suddenly appeared at the front door with the three men, and beckoned me inside._

"_Paige, honey, just put your bike on the side of the house and come in through the backdoor. It looks like it's going to take these men a while before they're going to fix the garage door." mom explained. I felt myself nodding slowly, still wondering what had happened, and then headed towards the side of the house and let the bike lean on the wall. I walked the short distance to the glass backdoor before opening it and stepping inside the house. I dropped my duffel bag by the stairs before heading to the kitchen where both my parents happened to be and speaking in hush tones. My brows arched automatically in question of what was going on. They were certainly acting a bit odd today and something was definitely off but I couldn't really lay a finger on it. When they saw me, they both shifted their bodies my way and try to smile. Huh. How odd. _

"_Alright, what is going on with you two? And what on earth happened to that garage door? Care to give me some kind of explanation?" I asked straightforwardly. It was something I had inherited from both of my parents. In this household, we had never needed to beat around the bushes; therefore we always get straight to the point. There was only a time when I found myself sneaking around conversations and that was when I was in the closet about my sexuality. White elephant in the room or not, my parents always knew what was going on with me because we understand each other extremely well, considering we all live under the same roof for so long. They had taught me to speak from my heart. _

_I remember feeling like I was walking on eggshells back then for an entire year when I had finally come around to accept myself after being in denial for several years. My parents and I have a close relationship, and I think that was the only time where I felt like I had to hide who I was from them. When I had finally come out, it was like…I've lifted the world's burden off my shoulders. Mom was very accepting and took me into her arms immediately and thanking me for trusting her to still love me for who I am, and dad was…well, it took him a little more time to embrace the person that I grew up into. I couldn't blame him and I never held it against him, because I knew very well how much all the hopes and dreams he had for me meant to him. He had always supported me and been my number one fan, cheering me on at whatever I chose to do as long as I can remember. _

_It didn't take him long to finally come around. I'd say it was about a week later when he came into my room when he thought I was asleep and said the most comforting words I had ever heard him say. _

"_I'll always love you. I always have since the first day that I saw you come into this world. I know I haven't been the best father to you lately, but I promise I'll never let anything take away my love for you. Even if that means that you'll fall in love with a woman, because if whoever she is will make you happy, I really can't imagine anything else I'd ever want for you. The life I've always hoped and dreamed of for you was a life filled with love and happiness. You've always been my hope and dream, filling my life with love and happiness, Paige. Nothing can ever stand in the way of how much I love you." _

_I smiled at the thought as I remember how he had brushed my hair aside and leaned down to kiss my forehead before quietly making his way out of the room. I reminisced on the moment when I had opened my eyes when he'd left and brought my hand up to touch the place where he had kissed me as I smiled. After that night, he was back to his old self and we were bonding over the same things like we always did again, and when I spoke about Emily to him, he would always smile warmly and offered me his opinion whenever I asked for it. _

"_Well…I…your father…" mom trailed off and snapped me back to the present moment. I looked at them expectantly as I remembered what I had been asking before dad decided to speak up._

"_I accidentally ran into the garage door. I wasn't entirely focus and thought that I already pressed the remote button to open it, but apparently I didn't and ran into it straight on. I spoke to the repairmen out there and they said that it's only a small dent that can be fixed by tomorrow's time." he said almost anxiously. I felt like our roles had somehow reversed and I was the parent interrogating the children for something they've done wrong. It was a tad bit funny but strange all the same. Something was going on and they weren't telling me the entire truth. _

"_Anything else you'd like to add? Because I feel like I'm not getting the whole story here, dad." I said bluntly. Mom and dad both looked at each other before I heard dad heaved a sigh and I watched his shoulders drop. _

"_Let's go talk in my office, okay?" he said before heading towards his office. Mom and I followed and I noticed how tense they both were. When we finally got to his office, he sat in his chair behind the desk, mom took a seat on the couch that was against one of the walls, and I sat in one of the two chairs on the opposite side of dad's desk. He bent down in his seat to enter the passcode to open his safety security box underneath his desk. He pulled out several manila folders and some large yellow envelopes, and placed them on top of the desk as he closed the safety box. Okay… This is…serious business. _

"_What's going on, dad? Mom?" I inquired, almost too afraid to ask but I felt like I had to out of curiosity and worry. I looked back and forth between the two of my parents and the silence seems almost unbearable. _

"_Paige, what I'm about to tell you… I… Your mother and I," he paused and looked over to mom before setting his eyes back on me, "we love you so much and our intention of keeping this from you was to protect you. We have wanted to find the right time to tell you this, but…I didn't imagine it'd be like this. I am so sorry, Paige, I feel like I have failed you somehow." he said and brought a hand up to cover his face as his elbow rested against the table. I felt confused, not understanding why he had said what he said. What was he trying to tell me? What was he sorry about? How had he failed me? What did he mean they were trying to protect me? I looked over to see that mom's head was facing the office's window and had a faraway look in her eyes._

"_I don't understand," I finally said to end the silence in the room and continued, "What is going on?" Dad lifted his head up from his hand and then sat up straight and slid the folders and envelopes towards me. I opened one of the folders and saw papers containing the results of some sort of medical tests I didn't recognize. That was until I saw Dr. Michaela Moretti's name appearing on almost every page of the papers. Were these copies of my physical exams? I saw times that dated back to when I was five years old as well. Dr. Moretti was my pediatrician and I have gone to her for as long as I can remember. But why was dad showing me all of these medical forms? Why was it in the safety box at all? _

"_Okay… I still don't get what you're trying to tell me. Do all of these papers contain my medical records?" I asked. He nodded and then reached for a yellow envelope that was the smallest amongst all the others. He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me. It read "Certification of Birth" and I saw my name beneath the heading. I also saw my dad's name on it, but something wasn't right next to his name. There was an "Anne Marie McCullers" instead of mom's name, which was "Elizabeth Blair McCullers" next to his name. _

"_Wait, mom, did you change your name? I never knew you went by Anne Marie before." I asked and looked over to mom, but all I could see were tears forming in her eyes. Why was she crying? "What's going on, dad? Why is mom crying?" I wanted to know. _

"_Your mother had never changed her name. Anne Marie McCullers was your biological mother, Paige." he said. What? My birthmother? Wait… I shook my head trying to process everything he'd just say. _

"_What?" I manage to utter amidst all of the confusion I felt._

"_I should've been honest with you from the start when you were younger…but how was I supposed to tell my little girl that her mother had passed on?" his voice falling to a whisper. My jaw had dropped and I looked at him in disbelief. She died? What? Then…this…mom is…not my real mom? This couldn't be. I looked from him to mom and she looked away when I caught her eyes. After a few moments, I mustered up all the courage I can find in myself to ask the next question._

"_Can you start from the beginning?" He looked like he was caught off guard but he closed his eyes and simply nodded. _

"_Anne, your biological mother, and I met at a church when I was twenty-six. She was one of the kindest people I have ever met in my life. She only saw the good in people and she had such a beautiful heart. We happened to attend the same bible studies and somehow a miracle worked its way into our lives and our faith in God had brought us together. I inevitably fell in love with her after our first date because of her kind and trusting nature. Your mother and I got married after we found out that she was five weeks pregnant with you, and I married her not only because I knew I had to be a responsible man that my parents and God had raised me to be, but also for the reason that I truly loved her and my unborn child. We had a happy marriage for the first year, and when you came into our lives, I couldn't believe how lucky of a man I was to have two beautiful women in my life. Then, things began falling apart when you turned two. We started bickering a lot over a lot of little things and she became very distrusting of me. It really wasn't like her. It was to the point where she had accused me of sleeping around and cheating on her with other women. I swear to you Paige, I have never cheated on your mother and it wasn't until later that I understood why she felt wary of me. There was so much tension during our marriage that it finally led to the both of us filing papers for separation. You were only two and a half at the time, and the court ruled that she had full custody of you. I was prepared for that because you were still too young to understand who you wanted to stay with and I knew beforehand that the court had always given full custody to mothers if the child is under the age of five. We had agreed on visitation rights and I was still able to see you, but not as often as I liked. When you were three years old, your mother found out…she had schizophrenia. I felt so awful. I was her husband and I didn't even know my wife was suffering with a mental disorder. I had even left her alone with a child. What kind of man does that? What kind of human being does that? That was why I never went to court to ask for joint custody, but she asked me for help and allowed me to take care of you while she checked herself into an outpatient center for a schizophrenia program. At first, she seemed pretty normal. But then I began to notice that there were slight changes in her behaviors after several weeks when I visited her. By then, they were supervised visits and she had told me about the new medications she was on. Gradually, I saw how the mental disorder was tormenting her and causing her to break down after each visit. It was so hard. She'd tell me she heard voices and at times I wouldn't even understand what she was talking about. Sometimes, it was unbearable to watch and my visits with her lessened…until one day, I just stopped seeing her. It all became too much. You and I were at the park with Elizabeth when I received a phone call from the outpatient center. They had told me that your mother had committed suicide and died of asphyxiation. It was one of the saddest days of my life. The first thing I did after the phone call was to file for full custody of you. I couldn't risk the chance of you being put into the foster care system even though I knew it was a high probability that they'd give me custody of you. I had lost her already, and I was so scared and didn't want to lose you too. About a year passed after the incident when you were almost five years old, I married Elizabeth and the three of us had been a family ever since. Maybe you were too young and that's why you couldn't remember her, but you found a mother figure in your Elizabeth. You've always loved her so much like she was your own mother and I…really didn't have the heart to tell you about Anne when you were so young. I know I've put it off for a long time, but I suppose now that you're eighteen, it's time to let you know what's going on since you'll be going away to Danby in a few months." _

_It was almost like time had stand still for me. My real mom had a mental disorder? I looked over to mom and saw that she was really crying now and looked so guilty of keeping all of these important pieces of information from me. She's not my birthmother. Yet…I love her so much. She's been my mom for as long as I can remember after all. I'll always love her no matter what, that I knew for sure. Family is not defined by blood. Family is defined by love. I love her like I always have, like she was my own mother. It wasn't important that she wasn't my birthmother. But then again, if she's not my biological mother and my real mom was really schizophrenic, then…_

"_Dr. Moretti called me into her office earlier today and told me she had critical results from your last physical to report to me. The reason why we have you go to Dr. Moretti every six months is because I'm afraid of the possibility of your mother's genetic linkage for schizophrenia. If there's a chance that you might develop it, we want to prevent it as soon as possible. She says that early stages of schizophrenia usually begin in late teens and twenties. A person's genetic make-up plays some role in developing schizophrenia, Paige. Because you're your mother's daughter, your risk of developing schizophrenia is already ten percent higher than the average person. In the meeting with Dr. Moretti today, she had discussed this with me and explained how several genes may be involved in determining its risk." he paused and took a deep breath before going on, "The main reason why she called me in was to tell me her findings of several genetic markers from the blood tests that could furthermore increase your risk for schizophrenia. Dr. Moretti had recommended to me that you begin to see Dr. Anne Sullivan. She is known as a therapist in Rosewood, but Dr. Moretti tells me she is also a licensed clinical psychologist. I've gone to visit Dr. Sullivan after the meeting with Dr. Moretti, and she suggests some psychological evaluations. She also referred you back to Dr. Moretti for more blood and urine tests, and another full physical as soon as possible. I…know this is a lot to take in, but we really need to do this, Paige. You need to do this." _

_I hadn't noticed that I was crying until I was bent over and had buried my face in my hands. I was only eighteen for God's sake! Why me? Why now? Everything's perfect with Emily, and Danby, and school, and I'm finally getting along with both my parents just fine. Why? What was God's plan for me? No, no, no, no, no… I looked up in good time to see that they were trying to make their way over to comfort me, but before they could get to me, I stood up abruptly, brushed past the both of them, and ran out of the office. I kept on sprinting and left the house through the opened front door. The two men looked at me with puzzle faces but I didn't care and kept on running. I don't know how long it took me to get there but before I knew it, I saw tears falling uncontrollably in my moonlit reflection at the lake. _

I bent down and allowed my hand to glide through the surface of the water at a leisure pace. It caused a ripple effect and I gently pulled my hand back to gaze at the mini waves that were forming in the water. The lake was cool and inviting, almost like it was calling for me to dive in. _That might not be such a bad idea…_ I looked around the meadow to make sure I was alone before I hesitantly began stripping off my clothes. They cascaded to the ground, leaving me in just my bra and underwear. I didn't hesitate to dive in right away. After I had jumped head first into the water, I felt like the universe had encircled me with some kind of magical warmth. I opened my eyes and saw my hair floating all around in the dark with the light of the moon. _This was what I needed. This quiet comfort._ When I can get away like this, to someplace really quiet, I begin to feel connected to the world somehow. I'd start to feel a connection with everything. The trees. The grass. The wildflowers. The moon. The sky. The water. The breeze that was passing through the meadow. I just feel…at one with _the world_.

I felt the lower half of my body implementing a few dolphin kicks on its own before I executed an underwater breaststroke pullout when I neared the surface. Realizing that I was short of oxygen, I took in a deep breath of the night's air when my head rose out of the water and began treading as I was getting my breathing steadied. When I looked up, I saw that the sky had mostly cleared and I was finally able to make out the stars. I find myself humming unconsciously and somehow picked up on a song and started softly singing to myself.

_If I die young, bury me in satin,_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses,_

_Sink me in the river, at dawn,_

_Send me away with the words of a love song…_

_Uh oh, uh oh…_

_Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother,_

_She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh,_

_And life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no,_

_Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby,_

_The sharp knife of a short life, well,_

_I've had just enough time…._

_If I die young, bury me in satin,_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses,_

_Sink me in the river at dawn,_

_Send me away with the words of a love song…_

_The sharp knife of a short life, well,_

_I've had just enough time…_

I shifted my body's position and began floating on my back while humming the rest of the song to myself. These were the moments when I wish I could've gotten to know her. She gave me life after all. From the pictures I saw, I seem to have inherited her brown eyes and wavy hair. She had kind eyes. I wonder if people she once knew would recognize her eyes when they look into mine. What if I end up with the same fate as her? What will I leave behind for people to remember me by?

The stars twinkled and shined at me. I could almost imagine that they were pieces of her gazing down at me. Even though I had to pay an unfair price, a sensible part of me felt that this was the way things had to be.

_I was counting on forever too. But I knew that some things just aren't meant to be._

* * *

After soaking in the water for about half an hour, I'd gotten out when it had become a bit too chilly and got dressed. I walked home while looking up at the stars in the sky and wondered what constellation they were in right now. The walk home seemed really short, because before I knew it, I was already a few feet away from coming up to my house. I was taking a few steps towards the front door when I noticed that someone was sitting on the swing on my front porch to my right. I squinted to discern who the shadow was in the dark until recognition fell upon me of who it was.

"What are you doing here?" I asked almost nonchalantly, and began to make my way over to the swing to sit down next to the figure in the dark.

"Your hair's wet. Did you just come back from a swim?"

"Something like that. Aren't you supposed to be finishing up dinner with Sean and Emily right now?" It was more of a statement that came out like a question. Although I couldn't say I was at all surprised that Spencer had decided to show up at my doorstep. One would never really know or understand the lengths she'd go to for her friends.

"Sean told me you were on a date with that girl you were yanking out of the restaurant. Is that true?" Spencer inquired. I let my eyes wander for a few moments, trying to make out our surroundings in the dark and avoiding her gaze. When I looked back at her, she was still staring at me intently, waiting for an answer.

"Yeah." It was all I could come up with. We were on a date, then Sean decided to meddle and invite himself onto our date, and that didn't seem enough because he shamelessly attempted to invite _you and Emily_ too. What exactly could I come up with to explain the date that wasn't entirely a date? Did I also mention that it hadn't work out between Audra and I? Because it didn't. Yeah, we were on a date. Then Sean had to butt in with his meddlesome ways. I let out a sigh and slumped my shoulders, leaning back into the seat of the swing as the thoughts raced through my head.

"Is it serious?" she asked almost hesitantly.

"It _was_."

"What happened?" she gently pressed on, her expression nearly that of an amused one. I like how I didn't have to say much and she'd understand everything so well. How she had already caught on that it was over between Audra and me was beyond my own understanding of everything.

"Wrong timing." I uttered even though I wanted to say more. I had to be conscious of the things I say though. There were more than one person's feelings I had to consider. I looked over in good time to catch her smirk.

"Isn't it always?" she asked nonetheless. I nodded and scooted closer to rest my head on her shoulder. She threw her left arm around my shoulders and brought me closer. I really appreciated how Spencer would always try her best to be there for me and somehow continually show up to comfort me in my darkest hours. She'd always been a good friend. I had known that for a long time now.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, for constantly putting her in this position. It wasn't ever intentional, but she always seemed to show up at times when things felt like falling apart. Times when I needed a good friend like her to lean on for support.

"Don't." she said and I felt her kissed the top of my head. I lifted my head off her shoulder and looked her in the eyes.

"Spencer…"

"I'm aware. I know. I just…I'm sorry." she said and looked down at her hands that were now in her lap.

"Do you still…" I trailed off but hoping that she understood what I was trying to ask. She closed her eyes and nodded slowly. I put my hand on top of hers and gave them a gentle squeeze. She opened up her eyes and looked up at me, eyes filled with tears. I brought her into my arms and held her as I felt her shake while sobbing into my neck. The vibration of her body against mine caused me to feel so much pain. I wished it didn't have to be this way. She was always so brave and strong, but here she was breaking down and falling apart in my arms, and it was entirely my fault. _I couldn't love her the way she loved me, even if I wanted to. There were so many reasons why I couldn't. _I wrapped my arms around her even tighter and whispered comforting words until she started shaking less and less. We must've stayed that way for the rest of the night, because when I woke, she was nowhere to be seen. But in her place on the swing was a letter that read:

_You've once told me that every relationship is temporary. Hearing you say that, it was almost like hearing you tell me that you felt everything in life was temporary. That's not true, Paige. Everyone deserves someone to spend the rest of their life with. You just need to be open enough to see that. You may not see it, but she's never stopped loving you. I know it's very unlike me to say this, but God gave you a heart to love. So please stop trying to fight it and let yourself love her, Paige. A part of me understands why you're doing this. Don't be afraid of a little opposition. I truly believe that you will make it through until the very end like the rest of us. _

_I'll be at the country club, call me if you need anything._

_- S_


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! As always, thank you for coming back and reading! I'll go ahead and say this because I don't know if I'll be able to update before or on Christmas day: I hope that you folks will have a Merry Christmas and a very jolly holiday! So…it hasn't been that long since I updated the last chapter, but I know some of us are really eager to read more. I really hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint. Have a wonderful day! :) **

**Pokiepup:** Well, I don't know if it's your birthday, but when the date does come up, Do tell me so that I can wish you a happy birthday! :) ANYWAY, you shouldn't have said that I should write your story for you…because I totally screamed out of excitement into an empty house (thank goodness!). hahaha You are SO AMAZING. I would NEVER be able to write like you do. I enjoy your writing too much. I don't have any secrets. I just go with my gut and whatever comes to mind. I'm so glad you're still enjoying the story as it gets crazier. Thank you for always coming back and giving me feedbacks! It humbles me so much to hear from you every time. You need to update, dear! I hope you enjoy this addition. Please have a wonderful day! ;)

**Rain'sMistress:** Everytime I type out your name, I can't help but wonder the meaning behind it. I'm really glad that you're catching on and understanding the story more. It brings me great pleasure to know that I'm not confusing my readers too much. hehe I like making the characters in my story likable, and Nick is no exception to that. I really love seeing Spencer's vulnerable and sweet side, don't you? I knew I just HAD to write it. I mean, god, if I let that escape me, I'd probably regret it sometime later while I'm writing this story and there's no perfect place for that kind of scene between Paige and Spencer. Thank you for coming back to read! I will try to get to your other stories when I'm a little freer, but I'm really looking forward to them already. Your stories are always so amazing and I don't doubt that you'll continue to amaze me with those one-shots. Again, thank you for coming back and supporting this story! You're Ah-Maze-Ing! ;) Hope you like this one too! Have a wonderful day, alright?

**TheShawmeister:** Yes, my dear, it's about time I updated, right? I'm Really glad that I did not disappoint you when these chapters came out. I had already written chapter 13…probably three weeks ago? Maybe a little longer than that too…but anyway, I already knew what the cause was and decided to write it first, and it wasn't until a week ago that I started writing chapter 12… hehehe ;) SO, when yours came out when you explained the cancer, I was like "Oh no…our stories coincide…" and I was Really wanting to erase chapter 13 altogether. hahaha BUT then I decided against it because after I published chapter 12, I KNEW I had to keep the story the way I've written it. That's why there was a double update. :) Did your jaw really dropped or are you just saying that? ;) And did you really tear up?! I read that part of your review and was like "HOLY COW! I made J tear up? She's at a loss for words?! No way!" It's freaky how we're almost Always on the same wavelength. We do think a lot alike! YOU'RE the one with MAD writing skills. Your last chapter pretty much swept me off my feet! I hope you like this one. Please have a beautiful day! ;)

**TheGreenEyedRioN:** I'm so glad that you enjoy this Paily version. For some reason, I immediately thought of food when you said, "This is the good stuff." hahaha I'm very pleased that you enjoy the plot, because I find that even I sometimes find it hard to follow. I know what you mean when you find a story you just can't stop reading. I'm so happy this was it for you. You don't know how much that means to me when I hear you say that. ;) There are actually A LOT of good PLL fanfics on here. I have a lot of favorites and I'm sure you'll find more that you'll enjoy. It's a very tight-knit community here in the PLL fanfic kingdom, I believe. ;) So welcome! I hope to hear more from you. Please enjoy this chapter. :) And have a wonderful day!

**Del:** Yay! I always can't wait to get to your review! May I ask where you are from? God, you keep thanking me all over the place that I am really at a loss for words now. I mean, I'm so glad that you enjoy all the bits and pieces of the story (from the explanation of what happened two years ago to Spencer's character). It really is a pleasure for me to write this story, and hearing all these positive feedbacks from you makes it all the more pleasurable to write. I have to say though, it doesn't take much effort writing the story and creating lines for the characters. The difficult part of this journey for me is…putting my heart and soul into it. They do mean a lot to me, and seeing that it means even a little bit to someone else…it's just one of the most wonderful feelings I've ever felt, honestly. I can't thank You enough for always coming back and telling me how I'm doing. You've always been so supportive and welcoming me into this PLL fanfic society. Thank you so much! I hope that you enjoy this chapter and have a wonderful day ahead! ;)

**Sazar:** Thank you for being so courteous and kind. The reviews do mean a lot and it Really works WONDERS and helps the writer go on. But what can I say? I'm full of surprises, right? hehehe I've had that planned right from the start (Spencer's love for Paige). I mean, I totally ship McHastings and couldn't let that go to waste. ;) Why else would she get defensive (had a scowl on her face) when she walked into the Grille at the beginning (the first time Paige and Emily see each other again)? It was because she also thought that Sammie was Paige's new gf. Why else would she look sad when she saw Paige again with Emily there at the Grille to pick up their carryout order? Why else would she still talk with Paige? Why else would she allow herself and Paige to be close enough to drive back to Rosewood together that first winter break from college? Why else was she extra nice to Paige? Also, why else is she Incredibly caring about Emily of all the girls? She feels guilty and she's trying to make it up to Em (driving to Danby in ch2, saying really heartfelt things to Em, and getting Totally defensive when Em accuses her of sleeping with Paige when Em got jealous in her kitchen in ch8). hehehehe ;) I'm so glad you still enjoy the story. I hope that you like this chapter too. Thank you for always reviewing and supporting this story! Please have a wonderful day! ;)

**Cici:** Hm…So MANY questions that I cannot give answers to! ;) Ahhhh it pains me that I cannot tell you the answers you want to hear. I could answer a few but not All. Is Danby further away than U Penn? Yes. Danby is a little over three hours away whereas U Penn is about an hour away from Rosewood. Did she set Emily free because she chose U Penn? Well, it's the other way around. She chose U Penn to set Emily free. As for her being closer to home to be monitored by her parents, that isn't the reason why she chose U Penn. Is Spencer in love with Paige? Yes, she is very much in love with Paige. So in love to the point that it pains her and causes her to cry, as we've just seen in ch13. Does Paige know about it? Yes, she does, because she was midway asking Spencer if she still loved her, and Spencer nodded before she could finish and began to cry. Paige said "it was entirely my fault" not because she had done something that made Spencer love her in that way, but she felt like it was her fault that Spencer had to fake a strong exterior and hide how she really feels. Paige feels it is her fault for Spencer's breakdown. The scene at the end of ch13 really showed that Paige had been in that position with Spencer before and it was a recurring theme between them because they seem so familiar with each other in such a heartbreaking moment. Paige has never reciprocated Spencer's feelings. She said, "I couldn't love her the way she loved me, even if I wanted to. There were so many reasons why I couldn't." because you know…have you ever had anybody love you so much? And you want to feel the same way so that they don't feel as devastated? I don't know… I've felt that way before. This is kind of personal, but you don't have an account so…oh well, I'm not afraid of sharing it here. There was this boy that liked me a while ago, well he loved me, and I really didn't feel the same way but I wished I did because he was my best friend and it was so hard seeing him so…I always felt how much he loved me when he was around and it made me so sad that I could also feel how heartbroken and devastated he was being near me. I imagine that's how Paige felt towards Spencer. I suppose if you really rationalize it (which you seriously shouldn't with feelings because it gets so…technological), Paige was Actually pitying Spencer. But that's NOT how I want it to come off. I wanted to show Paige's compassionate and caring side more than anything, and I hope that was how it came off when Paige was comforting Spencer and thinking those words in her thoughts. Both Spencer and Sammie know about Paige's situation/condition. I implied and hinted at it in the first few chapters if you really want to read it again. hahaha I really didn't understand you when you said "*I do not know it is a bad thing or what but you manage to effectively pour out every Paily feels and McHastings feels I could possibly draw out from a single chapter of a story. I was like, 'Oh don't! Right smack on Spaily feels!'" What does that mean? I can't tell you about the Car Ride part yet. I know it's difficult to sit still and wait for an explanation, but it will come up eventually. I'm so glad you trust me to continue with this story the way I want to write it. I love your reviews. I mean, this has GOT to be my favorite of all your reviews. Thank you for always coming back and telling me how you enjoy it. Um…and you TEARED UP? Hahahahaha (I shouldn't laugh! I'm horrible! I'm sorry! But I can't help it!) Awwwwwwe I wish I was there to hold and comfort you. You are such a sweetheart, you know that? ;) I hope that you enjoy this chapter and have a good day!

**Jamscottroc54**: I'm sorry? McHastings had to happen for me. I'm sorry! Did you actually reread it? Man, you seem to be the only one who enjoys my sense of humor. Hahaha Hanna's words speak Volumes for me. I mean, it seems that it's only you and I that enjoys Hanna's humorous ways. I really love how the girls interacted with each other in ch12. I really wanted to show how Emily's like with each of the girls. Are you seriously pulling out a machete if I really decide to throw Samara into the mix? Hahaha! I totally LOLed when I read that part. –sighs- I Love your reviews, they always make me laugh so much. Nothing's going on with Spencer & Em….rather Something's going on with Spencer & Paige…. ;) Thank you for always coming back and reviewing! I was a little worried that you were going to disappear forever because I haven't updated in a while…but I'm SO GLAD to hear from you again. I hope that you enjoy this and have a very good day ahead! :)

**Guest (Gigabyte1?):** Okay, I'm going to go ahead and assume that you're Gigabyte1. I really hope I'm right from the way that you're talking. I couldn't tell from your review…but I really hope that you had enjoyed the past two chapters. Did the kiss make you That furious? Seriously? I would Not have expected that at all, honestly. The whole schizophrenic part came to me about a month ago. I really wanted to write something different. Something I haven't seen in other stories before. We don't really know much about Paige's mother, so I figured "Why not play around with it a little?" and then it came out to be this big, humungous, catastrophic event. Hahaha It surprised me too! I could see why you thought Paige and Spencer were going to kiss. I purposely wrote it so it seemed that way, but Paige was never going to let that happen because she'd never feel the same way that Spencer does about her. I'm sorry I almost gave you a heart attack. I'm really glad that you didn't have one! Thank you for continuing to support this story and me. I really hope that you update again soon. ;) I can't wait! Please enjoy this chapter and have a very good day!

**Paily lover:** Welcome! Welcome! Welcome! Hahahaha ;) It is Very intense here. I hope that you enjoy this story's intensity though. Does it get your heart racing? Mine does when I'm writing. It brings me great pleasure to know that this story has evoked quite a few emotions out of you already. Spencer is crazy in love with Paige. You know how you love someone so much to the point where it hurts? That's Spencer right there. It sucks, but it's happening. I honestly cannot imagine how Emily will feel once she finds out. I mean, do you remember when she got SO upset when she thought Spencer and Paige had something going on back in ch8 in Spencer's kitchen? Whew… It's going to be so hard if there's a repeat of that nasty scene. Hahahaha Right? God, it kills me to hear that you're dying, but I hope that this chapter will be enough for now. Thank you for reviewing and I hope that you continue to enjoy the story. Please have a wonderful day! ;)

**Rushi:** Oh man, don't get me started on how Intense U Penn is going to be. I'm doing my best to keep you on your toes. What's a story if it's always going to be so predictable at all times, right? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Spencer loves Paige. In That Way. I don't know if that's troubling you, but just so you know, I totally ship McHastings. Hahahaha I couldn't let that one up, you know? It's a hunger I needed to satiate. I'm so glad you continue to love the story. You've been a supporter for as long as I can remember, and it makes me so happy that you still enjoy the story. While I aim to please my reader, I also like to write for myself. I think that's also what keeps me going with this. I love that people still enjoy it. I hope that you enjoy this chapter and have a good day ahead. :)

**Nae10:** I totally understand what you're trying to tell me. We hurt the ones we love because we think that the pain will be temporary and soon, they'd move onto greater things in life. I feel that that's what Paige would've felt and wanted for Emily. That's a big reason why she wanted to set Em free and live a wonderful life if it means paying a cost of losing the person she loves. I'm very glad that the chapter shocked you. I was aiming for that. ;) I love how you understand Paige's psyche so well. I mean, if I could even admit this, you seem to Really understand her psyche better than me. ;) Thank you for reviewing and telling me how you felt about this story. I hope to continue to see you around after this. Please enjoy this chapter and have a wonderful day! :)

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

_Sometimes you just miss the memories, not the person_.

I wish that was the way I really felt about her. The feelings of the night had slowly crept onto me. Seeing her at the Grille had been very unexpected. While she was standing before me earlier as Spencer and Sean spoke, I was completely enraptured with her aura and couldn't ignore how beautiful she's gotten since I've last seen her. It was hard to just watch, because I wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, to feel her skin against mine. It wasn't really a matter of sexual frustration for me after the previous night. It was more of wanting to feel intimately close to her again. I was in such a daze that when she ran off, it had entirely taken me by surprise. It was only when I saw her kissing another girl that it finally hit home. The sight itself had triggered extraordinarily heartbreaking memories of how our love had ended. Tearing my eyes from them, I had felt a searing pain shot straight through my heart. All the pain that I tried so hard to suppress over the years suddenly came surging through me, taking all hopes I had left of us mending all of our broken ties.

I couldn't sit here any more. What had started out as a small sting had instantaneously broke out into a full-blown heartache. It was just beginning to hurt so much and I couldn't even make sense why. I started making my way over to the closet and rapidly change out of my clothes and into running shorts and a t-shirt. I made quick work of my shoelaces and before I knew it, I'd already run almost two miles away from home. My feet continued to pound the pavement, and I felt my lungs working hard to keep up with the pace and energy I was exerting to run even faster than I already was. The world around me was just a big blur. It was beginning to get dark and the streetlights appeared as small blobs of light from afar rather than the road illuminations that they were. I felt my body giving up on me, telling me that I was over-exhausting myself, but I couldn't stop. I just kept on sprinting, almost as though I was running for my life. In a way, I felt like I was. I wanted my life back. I wanted to feel good again. I wanted full reign of how I felt. A part of me even wishes that I'd never met Paige McCullers.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't even noticed I was surrounded by sequoias, and my feet were now crushing the tiny branches on the trail. I gradually slowed down and finally fell into a leisure stroll through the path as I became conscious of where I was, because I didn't want to disturb the creatures of the night. The moon was up and bright and had casted a dim light on the pathway from overhead. Judging by the sequoias around me that I've grown to know so well, I knew I wasn't very far from the lake. I continued to saunter on the soiled track until the opening to the lake meadow was in sight. I was about to make my way towards the lake but stopped dead in my tracks as my eyes landed on the figure floating on their back in the lake. I heard a soft humming and tried to discern the tone in vain. That was only until she started singing, because it had gone straight to my heart and soul.

_If I die young, bury me in satin,_

_Lay me down on a bed of roses,_

_Sink me in the river, at dawn,_

_Send me away with the words of a love song…_

Out of natural instinct, I quickly hid behind the trunk of the nearest sequoia tree with my back against it. My breath hitched in my throat, and my heart began hammering against my chest faster than I thought it possibly could. I couldn't believe my eyes. I couldn't believe…what I was hearing. I couldn't _believe_…that she was actually _here_. This was _our _place. This _was_ our place. What was she doing here? How often had she come here?

I slow turned around, resting my palms on the tree as I inched to the right. I looked around the sequoia and saw that she was still floating on her back, humming almost peacefully. I looked over at the edge of the lake and saw a heap of clothes that covered a small patch of the grass. I glanced over at her again, observing her more carefully this time, but tore my eyes away when I realized she had stripped down to her underwear. I felt flushed for a moment, but then I daringly let my eyes wander back to where she was. The moonlight had casted a marveling brightness over her slender form, and I was stuck in awe of how beautiful she was, magically glowing in the dark. The sparkling of her wet pale skin illuminated the night with such intensity that I felt myself shrink and slide down against the coarse bark of the old majestic tree. I rested my head on the tree, and pulled my knees up to my chest. Closing my eyes as I listened to the humming that pierced through the silent night out here in the dark meadow, I begin to fall into a deep trance. _It was utterly beautiful._

I opened my eyes as I heard splashes of water on the other side of the tree. I held my breath and wondered what it could be. _Was she swimming now? How long have I been sitting here? _I tried to lean over and see what was happening, and what I saw had unquestionably made my jaw drop. She was getting out of the water, and lo and behold, it had to be the most sensual thing I've ever seen in my life as I watched the water cascade over the length of her body that was emerging from the lake. I quickly retreated back to my previous position, lowering my head, and then finding myself nervously fiddling with the hem of my shirt between my fingers. I felt like I almost could hear her fumbling with the buttons to her jeans from where I sat. The slight rustling I heard made me believe that she was possibly putting her clothes back on. I tried my hardest to resist the urge to turn around again and secretly look at her, but it was too late and I began to hear almost quiet footsteps approaching my way. I held my breath while I curled up slowly and leaned away to the far right. As her footsteps neared to my left, I brought my hand up to cover my mouth and tried to keep my body paralyzed. She walked right past me without knowing, and I watched her effortlessly stride away on her own, not even bothering to look back like she used to do. _No, she was never the one to ever look back._ For the first time ever, I was glad that she didn't. I don't think I'd know what to say if she saw me. She kept on walking, and I watched silently, wondering how it was back _then_ had suddenly come to _this_.

After watching her disappear down the path, I began to get up and brush off the soil that was clinging to my clothes. I took one last look at the path that she had walked, and then turn around and made my way over to the lake. Walking slowly, I noticed how the stars were out again tonight. They were shining ever so brightly and as I neared the water, I sat down in the spot where Paige's clothes once were. I began to lie down with my legs still bent at the knees and feet planted flatly on the ground. I pulled my arms up and around the back of my head as I rested on it. Looking up at the stars, I began to recall a time where I was lying beneath the same sky with different stars.

"_You see how that star sparkles?" she says while pointing at the sky. _

"_Yeah, what about it?" I asked as I spotted the star she was looking at. _

"_Do you think that's where our souls ends up?" _

"_Well, what do you mean by that?"_

"_After death occurs, do you think our souls could possibly wind up within one of those stars?"_

"_I don't know…" I looked over at her and saw that she hasn't taken her eyes off the sky yet. She looked almost sad and I couldn't understand why. She had been like this for the past few weeks._

"_I hope they do. It must be so beautiful up there in the heavens. To rest among the stars for eternity… Isn't that why the stars twinkle? There's soul in it that keeps them alive and shining so brightly. There has to be. Why else would one feel such connection while gazing at them?" It boggled my mind where she was going with this. Why was she talking about death in such a manner as if it was so close to her heart?_

_But again, if our souls really did end up with the stars, I hope that mine would somehow find its way back to hers. Soul mates do that, don't they? _

"_You're right. Maybe that really is where we end up after life ends." She looked at me, eyes filled with gratitude, almost as if thanking me for believing in her afterlife theory. Her eyes were filled with so much emotion that it didn't escape me how troubled she felt. I wished she would've just told me what was wrong, but I really didn't want to sound intrusive or that I was prying things out of her. I wanted her to tell me when she was ready. _

"_Do you believe in soul mates?" her words pierced the silence between us. _

"_Do you believe in love?" I asked in return. _

"_Yes." she said with so much certainty. It was with the same confidence she had when she's all ready to dive in at a swim meet. _

"_Then, there you go." She smiled at my response even though it sounded almost too cliché. _

"_Then I hope that someday…our souls will find each other after we've both taken our last breath on this earth." I smiled inwardly at her words. Our thoughts seemed to be on the same wavelength tonight, seeing that I've thought that earlier. _

"_I'd wait for you…wherever you take your last breath." I confessed._

"_I've never doubted that for a millionth of a second." she said. I know. _

"_Will you hold me?" I asked. She nodded and got behind me. As her arms wrapped around my midsection, I leaned my head back onto her shoulder and looked up at the sky. The star continued to sparkle and twinkle at us. I truly hope that's where I'll find her when my heart finally stops beating. _

I suddenly felt myself wake up from the blinding lights. Even with my eyes closed, the shining of the light renders me more sightless than I already was. I squeezed my eyes shut even tighter in an attempt to protect them from the small ache of how tender they felt, but it didn't seem to help all that much. I turned onto my side and away from the light, and was immediately relieved of the imposing light. Slowly, I opened my eyes and realized how greener the grass was becoming. I blinked a few more times to adjust my eyes to the light and realized that the sun had been the source of all that brightness. _How long had I been here?_

I sat up slowly and looked around to see that the sun was high up in the sky. _I must've slept here overnight then. _I took out my phone and saw that it read 11:23AM. I wanted to lie back down and enjoy the view of the meadow, but I knew I needed to get home before mom goes crazy about last night's disappearance. I stood up and stretched my arms and legs a bit, and then off I went. Home had never seemed so far before.

* * *

It seemed like no one was home last night. I walked into every room in the house and couldn't find mom. Maybe she was sleeping over at one of her friends' house. I shrugged my shoulders and made my way up to the bedroom. Opening the door, I was not prepared to see Spencer lying face down on my bed. _What in the heavens_… I walked over and slumped down at the edge of the bed next to her body. She must've let herself in with the key under the doormat. I wanted to lie down too, but I was not in the mood to sleep the day away. I looked over my shoulder and watched her angelic face as she slept soundly. Most people would never believe this, but Spencer had to be the heaviest sleeper in Rosewood. Her house could light up on fire, which it once did all thanks to Hanna, and she still wouldn't wake up. At least her cute sleeping form made up for that. I turned my body around and faced her, with one foot still planted on the floor, as the other one lay bent on the bed. Many thoughts swirled in my head, and I didn't know what overcame me, but I felt a sudden playfulness rise from within and I bent down to blow lightly into her ear.

"_Paige_…stop it." she murmured. _Had I heard her right?_ I arched my eyebrow and decided to repeat what I've done even against my better judgment. Leaning down again, I blew softly into her ear, and she immediately covered it before saying, "Paige, I swear, if you – "

"If I what, Spence?" I asked as I crossed my arms against my chest. She opened her eyes, surprised by the sound of my voice as I caught her gaze. She looked exactly like a kid that had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. Now I'm _really_ curious as to what she's feeling so guilty about. "Is there something you need to tell me?" I asked. She looked me straight in the eye with so much seriousness, and I suddenly felt a surge of anxiety run through me. After a few moments, she finally decided to speak.

"Actually, I do. I'd love…for you to come to my parents' 25th wedding anniversary party. It's coming up soon and they'll be celebrating next Saturday at my house." she explained.

"Oh, I almost forgot." I said. I was not expecting her to tell me that. "Wait, why did you think I was Paige earlier?" I asked. I couldn't let it go.

"Paige?" she asked. I eyed her suspiciously, knowing real well that she was pretending she didn't know what I was talking about.

"Spencer…" I warned. She sat up and then brushed her hair back with her fingers before turning my way.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Em. So are you going to come next Saturday or not? You can even bring a date if you want." she said and smiled at me. I looked away for a second and decided to drop the subject.

"Yeah, I'll come. What time do you want me there? It's a formal party, isn't it?" I asked.

"Six. You can show up a bit later if you want. It's semi-formal, although I'll just go ahead and say that you can wear anything you want." she informed me.

"Okay… So is that the only reason why you showed up here without a warning? To tell me about the party?" I inquired.

"Well, not really. I was hoping you'd come to the country club with me to play tennis. As much fun as it is playing against myself, it would be a lot more interesting if you were there."

"Oh, are Aria and Hanna coming as well?" I asked.

"No, I didn't ask. I just wanted some Spencer and Emily time. You don't mind, do you?"

"Nope, just as long as you bring you A-game, Hastings." I smirked and stood up.

"Oh, you're _so_ on, Fields!" she exclaimed as she jumped out of my bed.

* * *

After playing tennis with Spence, we decided to go to the Grille to have lunch instead of eating at the country club. Just as we were sitting down at one of the tables for two that was set in the middle of the restaurant, I heard the door to the restaurant opening. I looked up and saw _Samara_ walk in. _Wow, Hanna really wasn't kidding_. Her hair was still as blond as ever, and the jean shorts she was wearing really showed off her long legs. _Had she gotten taller too? _She looked around the restaurant and somehow I managed to catch her eyes. I watched as her whole face lit up when she recognized me, and continue to look at her as she walked over towards our table. Spencer was still going on about the last match she'd just lost to me, but I stood up and Spencer turned her head around to see what that was about until her eyes had finally set on Samara too. She'd gotten closer and I noticed that we were still the same heights. Her smile had gone away yet and I smiled as she came near and stopped right before me.

"Emily." she finally said.

"_Samara._" I said in response. We smiled at each other like fools and she finally took one step forward and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I placed my hands lightly on her side and then closed the gap between us. She was wearing a white soft flowing top that displayed her bare arms and the soft fabric had felt really nice against my hands. I heard Spencer fake a cough and I pulled away from the hug. Samara still kept her hands on my elbows when I tried to pull away, so it was hard to extract myself from her. I looked up at her and smiled as I was caught off guard by her action. She just kept staring at me and it was really hard to break away from her gaze. After a long moment, she finally let go and I stepped back, quickly glancing over to Spencer but only to see her arms crossed and eyebrows arching in an "I'm still here, you know" kind of way.

"Hey Samara, you've met Spencer before." I said as I reintroduced them. She stuck out her hand and Spencer grudgingly shook it, not even bothering to stand up like a well-bred Hastings should've.

"So nice to meet you again, Spencer. And _you_," she said as she draw back her hand and looked over at me. I grin slightly, not really knowing what to say in response. I saw Spencer faintly shake her head and I held back from telling Spence to play nice in front of Samara.

"So what brings you to Rosewood?" I asked out of curiosity, hoping to steer the conversation away from any awkwardness that may arise.

"Just here doing some volunteer work. I'm one of the counselors for the LGBT youth group near this place." she said and smiled. _Right._ I suddenly recall my first meeting with her. Paige was supposed to meet Samara here at the Grille to get her help in coming out to Paige's father. Somehow, Paige had changed her mind and never showed, which left me with Samara.

"You're still doing that?" I asked. It surprised me how long she's been working with this LGBT pride group. She had my entire admiration right then.

"Of course, why wouldn't I? Although it's only during summers now since I'm attending an out-of-state college." she added.

"Which one?" I asked.

"NYU. Working on an Urban Design and Architecture Studies major there," she proudly said. She had all the right to feel so dignified. Smart, beautiful, _and_ kind. _Wow. _Scratch that, I'm _really_ impressed now. "So did you end up getting into Danby?" she asked.

"Yeah, I did." I answered. I'm surprised she still remembers.

"How is it there?" she asked.

"Oh, she's transferring to U Penn this fall." Spencer jumped in. "Actually, we're both transferring there." she quickly added.

"Ah," she said while glancing over to Spencer and then looking back at me, "I see that you'll be closer to home then." I nodded and wondered if she was going to stay here and have a meal.

"Hey, you were going to grab something to eat right? Why don't you sit down and have lunch with us?" I asked.

"That'd be great," she said and looked over at Spencer, "as long as it's okay with you." I looked over to Spencer, wondering how she'd react. Surprisingly, she just went ahead and stood up, beckoning us to follow her to a table for four by the window. After we were all seated, with Samara and I on one side and Spencer on the other, one of the waitrons brought over another menu for Samara. We all knew what we wanted so we ordered right then, and after the waitron left, I felt a bare leg brushing against mine in a tantalizing way. I looked up at Spencer, expecting her to have a mischievous look on her face as she teased me underneath the table, but she seemed to be distracted by her phone. Realization set in as I slowly turned to my left and saw that Samara was openly staring at me, causing me to blush a little. I tilted my head a bit to the right, mouthing "_What are you doing_?" but she only shook her head slowly and let out a faint laugh. I looked at her curiously, wondering what she was up to. As serious as she can sometimes get, Samara also had a really playful side to her. I guess that side was kicking in now.

Spencer's phone ringing made the both of us jumped, and I turned to look at Spencer only to see her standing up as she looked at her cellphone.

"Hey, I got to take this phone call outside," she said as she took off. I watched as she walked away and out of the restaurant. She held the phone to her ear and seemed to be really concerned with whatever the conversation may be about.

"She's still as serious as I remember. Maybe a little less uptight, but still very serious." I heard Samara say. I turned to my left in good time and caught her smirk.

"Well, you're still the little dare devil I remember you to be." I joked. She stared at me, looking a little taken aback by my remark, but I begin to see the mischief return to her eyes.

"If you must say so… How have you been, Emily? It's been a while," her sweet smile returned.

"I could say the same. Can I tell you something?" I asked her. She nodded and I took a deep breath before I could gather my thoughts together. Back when Samara and I were dating, I felt like I could always be upfront about anything with her because she was never the one to judge. Samara was also a great listener. Those were some of the traits I've always liked about her, and I think I still feel the same way now.

"I'm actually kind-of nervous to transfer to U Penn." I admitted. She nodded her head slowly, while giving me a pensive look. "The coach there offered me a scholarship last spring and I accepted it. It's not because I'm afraid of the new setting…because now I know that Spencer will be there with me as well. Rather…the reason why I'm nervous is because…Paige is going to be there." I saw her eyebrows knotted for a few seconds before they unwind again. I waited for her to say something, but she didn't. We both sat there just staring at each other until I finally decided to speak up. "How do I overcome this feeling?" She was wearing a reflective facial expression now.

"What kind of feeling are you dealing with here? Are you two still…?" she trailed off.

"No, no we aren't together any more, and she no longer loves me in that way." I finally acknowledged the truth aloud.

"Hm…but you still love her, and it's not in a platonic way, am I correct?" she asked. I thought about it for a moment, trying to decide if I should tell her the whole truth. I didn't want to lie to her.

"I think I miss her, and whether I love her or not, I'm still not sure where I stand on that matter. Do you think maybe I just miss the memories? That it's the memories I really miss and not her?" I asked.

"That could be the case. But I think you're the only one who knows how you really feel." she told me. I thought about it and wondered about how the things she said would solve any of the problems I had. I sighed and then looked away, trying to find the answer to my own question. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I looked back at Samara, seeing a troubled expression written all over her face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't of any help. Knowing you though…you'll figure it out sooner or later, Emily." I tried to smile at her words of encouragement, and I felt her eyes melting into mine. She always had a way of making me feel better when she did that. It was her way of showing that she truly cared and wanted the best for me. I pursed my lips and slightly nodded to accept her comforting words. I was really glad that I got this one on one time with her. Just as I thought that, I heard the entrance to the restaurant opened and looked over to see that Spencer was walking back in with Hanna in tow.

"Look what I found on the sidewalk," Spencer said as she gestured her hand to Hanna.

"_Ha-ha_, real funny, Spence," Hanna respond, sounding slightly annoyed.

They both sat down, Spencer across from me, and Hanna sitting in front of Samara. I watched as Hanna and Spencer exchange knowing looks, and then Hanna looked over to Samara and shyly waved hello. I giggled at how Samara could make Hanna so nervous, seeing that they were opposites, and Samara wouldn't even hurt a fly. Right on cue, our waitron came back with our food and drinks, and Hanna ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with sweet potato fries.

"So what was that phone call about?" I addressed the call Spencer received just a little while ago.

"Oh, that was just my mom calling about the catering company. I'm in charge of the food for the party." Spencer explained.

"What party? How come I'm not invited?" Hanna pouted.

"Hold your horses, Han. Even though this is an informal invite, I was going to ask if you wanted to come to my parents' wedding anniversary party." Spencer said.

"Formal, informal, _whatever._ As long as I'm invited, that's all that matters. Hey, can Caleb come too?" she asked.

"Yeah, I was just telling Em earlier that she can bring a date, so you can as well. Just make sure your boy cleans up nice. It's semi-formal dress code." Spencer said.

"Oh, Em! We can go shop for dresses together!" Hanna exclaimed with too much excitement. I thought about it for a moment before surprising even myself with the words that were about to come out next.

"Actually, I was about to Samara to be my date to your parents' anniversary party." I said and looked over to Samara with hopeful eyes, wishing she didn't have any plans and would agree to be my date. She looked at me thoughtfully, probably wondering why I was springing this on her out of the blue, and finally spoke up.

"I'd love to," she said while holding my gaze. I smiled gratefully at her and I placed my hand on top of hers under the table, away from the Spencer and Hanna's watchful eyes. She looked a bit surprised, but her eyes soften and I felt her hand slip from under my mine for a second before I felt her hand fall atop mine. She gently caressed my hand beneath the table, and I unexpectedly turned it over and intertwined our fingers. For some reason, I finally felt something I hadn't experienced in a long time.

I was _happy. _


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: I apologize for not updating sooner but just to make up for it, I made this chapter lengthier for you guys. Thank you for the new follows and favorites! I was really excited to update this on New Year's Eve. ;) I hope that you all enjoy this chapter and have a Happy New Years! Cheers! :D**

**E:** Awwww! What did I do? I really wonder which part of the story that evoked that kind of emotion and reaction from you. I think it's totally my duty to keep you on your toes! I mean, there's no other kind of joy in the world that compares when it comes to that. Thank you for reading and reviewing! I feel so fortunate to have new reviewers like you every time. I hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as the previous ones. I had a really fun time writing it and I hope it shows through the story. Please have a good day and Happy New Years! :)

**Paily lover**: I have never seen so many "no's" in one sentence on here! I totally see why you don't ship Samara and Emily. I mean, geez, look at your login name! It says "Paily lover" loud and clear for everyone to see. I totally laughed out loud when I read to the part "I mean she's pretty and outgoing blah blah" because I saw that no matter how awesome I try to depict Samara, you will only ship Paily. Am I right, or am I right? Gee, I totally did not see that you were going to be so upset with Spencer. I sure hope nothing's going on with Paige and Spencer as well. That would totally ruin a lot of friendships. Drama, drama, drama. Girls, girls, girls. Drama, drama, and again, have I not already mentioned drama? hahahaha Totally sums up all of that complicated situation. "Killing you softly" eh? That sounds quite romantic to me. ;) What happens after you're buried? Do you come back to life? Argh… I'm still glad that you love the story though (because you're one of my favorite readers). Thank you for the holiday wish! I hope that you have a good day, and Happy New Years! ;)

**TheShawmeister:** No way (x3)? Whoa, what's with the strong reaction, girl? hahaha Samara is…special. I kind-of shipped Samily for a while when it seemed like Paily wasn't working out. I think she's really…something. I mean, at the time, I felt like her straightforwardness, her being out, and how comfortable she was with herself… It all appealed to me at one point in time. I used to date a girl who was closeted and it was like…hmm…let's just say that I wish I had been more patient and understanding. After reading a few fanfics on here, I wish I would've been more considerate at the time. I'm playing with your feelings? Whoa, that's an overstatement! hahaha It's okay to cry…I won't judge. I'm actually REALLY happy knowing that my story evoked that kind of emotion from you. I felt pretty proud for a moment, and then went into teddy bear mode and wished I could instantaneously fly to where you are and console you. I just always saw that scene as a confession episode. I didn't mean to make anyone tear up…but hearing that a few people did really touched my heart. Thank you for the holiday wish! Please have a beautiful day and a Happy New Years, J! ;)

**Sara:** Sooo…judging by your comment, you must really dislike Samara huh? I just had to add her along for the ride because I accidentally let Hanna mention her in one of the previous chapters. I think I've heard someone say that before about Samara. For some reason, I found myself laughing out loud while reading your comment. There are many people in the same boat as you and don't enjoy her sudden appearance in the last chapter. Hopefully you will be able to find this story enjoyable enough to stick through the Samara scenes (even though I've heard that some people just skip over her lines altogether, whatever floats your boat). Thank you for reading though! And reviewing! I hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as I loved writing it. Please have a wonderful day and a Happy New Years! :)

**Jamscottroc54:** I swear, you TOTALLY need to write your own Paily fanfic on here someday. I would LOVE to read it. You should be a comedian! Hahahahaahaa! OMG you made me laugh so hard and had me in tears reading your review. You're blessed with such a great sense of humor! I'm so glad to have known you. I enjoy the extra laughter in my life now because of you. You Actually reread that chapter 3 times?! Oh my goodness, I could never do that with any other stories. I usually just go through stories once and that's good enough for me. hahaha I'm so grateful for you, you know that? ;) The part that had me cracking up the most was when you said _"Haha! Ooh was spence dreaming bout paige? :) 'paige... Stop it' no, u stop it -_- stop it spence, cause i'd hate to have to eliminate u too". _Oh god, that was Hilarious. Spencer wasn't dreaming about Paige. She thought that she was still with Paige on the porch swing, so that's why she called out her name. hahaha Why's Hanna nervous? Well…you'll have to keep on reading to find out, darling. I can't believe the amount of expressions you had in this review! I mean, holy monkey, it must've been more than all the previous reviews added together. Thank you! I hope that you enjoy this chapter just as much. Please have a beautiful day and a Happy New Years! ;)

**Sazar:** Ahhhh…you too?! What is it with all these strong reactions to the previous chapter? What have I done to you? I don't really see Spencer and Samara as standing in the way, but that's just my opinion. It might be coming off differently to the readers…from all the reviews that I've gathered so far. Paily has a long road to go before they could actually mend their relationship. It doesn't take a quick fix for these kinds of things you know? And there's college… hahahaha I love that you think McHastings scenes are beautiful. I meant for them to be that way. I love writing scenes like those…and have it come off the way I want it to. Thank you for mentioning that because I wasn't sure if anybody was feeling those scenes between them the same way that I did, and now I know. ;) I know I shouldn't take pride in this…but I absolutely LOVE that this story makes you emotional. I mean…holy cow…you don't know how much writers STRIVE for that. Thank you for always coming back and reviewing! I hope that you have a beautiful day ahead and a Happy New Years! ;)

**Guest (Gigabyte1?):** I'm just going off from the syntax and the subjects you're referring to when I'm guessing who you are. I guess we've grown pretty close for me to recognize your writing. Or probably because I've read EVERY ONE of the chapters you've written for both of your stories. I personally don't think Samara would get hurt. I mean, she gets involved and cares about people, but…she doesn't seem like the committed type to me, you know? Tensions are the best, aren't they? Especially at parties. Things are about to go down… That's all I'm going to let up for now. Thank you for continuing to support this story. It's amazing to have an awesome author like you come to read and review. So flattering. Please have a wonderful day and a Happy New Years! ;)

**Tangible:** Hm…that's too bad. Are you really sure about that? Going to be missing out on some nice scenes and important parts. ;) Well, I'm going to hope to see you again after this stuff with Samara sorts itself out then if you are decided on it already. Please have a wonderful day and a Happy New Years! :)

**Del:** The flashback scene was my favorite part to write in the last chapter too. I was about to go to sleep one night…and then I looked out the window of my bedroom and saw all the stars twinkling at me…(as crazy and silly as this sounds) giggling and talking to me. Suddenly I had the idea that there were living spirits in them. Then I just laid there and typing a small part of that conversation into my phone. I woke up the next day and continued it, adding some last minute touches here and there. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! Stars are beautiful. Many of them have existed for a much longer time than most of us have on this earth. I think you're right on about Emily. She longs for comfort and to quickly move on. It's inevitable that she and Samara will encounter some hurdles right at the beginning of their new relationship because of this. I love how you understood that Paige was talking about her deceased mother. It was really beautiful that you grasp that. You're from Singapore?! Holy monkey…is your name really Del? You reviews makes ME happy. I'm glad that you still enjoy the story up until this point. Thank you for the holiday wish! I hope that you have an amazing day and a Happy New Years! ;)

**Nae10:** I love that you love the flashback. It's one of my favorite flashback scenes. Did Your Paily Heart melt at that part? Thank you for sharing that song with me! Those lyrics are absolutely beautiful. I've listened to Jason Reeves before but that was the first time I ever heard the song. Thank you for informing me about how I'm doing with this story. I'm really glad that you like it as much as you do. It really touches my heart to hear you say that you will stick it out until the very end of this journey with me. Don't cry…because I can't be there to comfort you and that'll make me very sad. Thank you for the holiday wish. I hope that you'll have a beautiful day and a Happy New Years! ;)

**TheGreenEyedRioN:** I think you're one of the few that Actually likes Samara's character. I don't watch The Vampire Diaries but I've heard that she's on it. Does she play a feisty vampire? Oh, I was just simply thinking of food when you said that. I didn't assume that you needed the story like you needed food. But my god, if that actually happens, I'd probably die a happy girl. There's going to be Lots of Paige in this chapter! ;) hehehe I really hope that you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please have a wonderful day and a Happy New Years! ;)

**cmart91 cm: **Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm so happy to hear that you Actually enjoy the story that much. I get what you mean when you say that, because it's really rare for me to find a story that I just Can't stop reading. I'm so flattered that this was one of them for you. I'll try to see whether I can write in a scene of Spencer's feelings development for Paige…but no promises, okay? Thank you so much for loving the story! It's really amazing to hear readers tell me that. I hope you continue to love the story, hopefully 'til the very end. Oh my goodness…I inspired you to write? ;O That is really awesome. I've read your story and it is really good so far. You keep at it, alright? It's awesome! Please have a good day and a Happy New Years! :)

**MindFullofStories:** Wait…who's who? I was reading and thought, "Who does the line '_I love you but I love her.'_ belongs to?" And _"__She loves you but she likes somebody else."_? I got the _"She loves her but she doesn't know and now she's bringing someone as a date."_ part though. I'm sorry… :( Please don't cry! I don't think they always see each other in the wrong place and wrong time. In fact, I think they're always at the perfect place and time, but…their characters just drives the plot in a whole other direction that you don't want it to go. Yes, you are right. Love is so blind. I'm just going to refer to the quote that "Life is unfair." I think through these struggles and hurt, they'll learn to cherish each other more when times are easier. Thank you so much for letting that out, Lil. It means a lot to me to know how you feel about the story. I hope that you enjoy this chapter though. Please have a good day and a Happy New Years! :)

**Cici: **How can I not return a lengthy response after you gave me such a wonderful review? ;) You gushed out? That is so cute! I've never heard anyone say that to me before. It's so flattering! I really think your feelings will change after this chapter. Major twists and turns leading the characters to choose different directions. I'm so surprised that you are not a Samara fan either. It's so funny to me how much people don't like her. Honestly, I feel neutral about Samara's appearance in the last chapter. I don't see her as a threat to Paily's journey of getting back together at all. I mean, one of the readers mentioned that she's adorable and all but she'll get hurt in the end anyway, so…I really am undecided if I want to keep her around. I've never heard anyone talk about 'Spaily feels' before so wow, thank you for enlightening me on that thought. You're totally right though, because Paige definitely has the last say in the Spaily situation. We'll see what happens. I do adore Spencer's selfless side as much as you do. That personal story is only one of many**, **so I don't mind sharing at all. Thank YOU for reading and listening to me blabber on and on in these responses to reviews. ;) Some of your inquiries will be answered in this chapter. No matter what you say, you are totally a sweetheart to me. ;) Please have a wonderful day and a Happy New Years! :)

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Paige's POV**

The stillness of the morning didn't help calm my jittery nerves. I sat still on the porch swing, concentrating on her words and letting my thoughts flow freely. _She's never stopped loving me?_ She's…never stopped loving _me_? That couldn't be right. It's been over two years and…she _had_ to have moved on. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, praying that the words in the letter weren't true. _They couldn't be_. How could she still love me after everything I've put her through? It just didn't make any sense to me.

The ringing of my cellphone snapped me out of my thoughts, and I pulled it out of my jean pocket. Looking at the screen, I was surprised to see whom the call was coming from.

"McCullers here," I greeted.

"Hey! How's my favorite girl doing?" the voice chirped from the opposite side of the line.

"She just woke up, actually. On a porch swing, may I add." A yawn escaped me after I've responded.

"A porch swing?"

"Long story... What's up? I know you're not just calling to ask how I am, Dan." I asked.

"Nothing much... Hey, I was just wondering if it was okay that I come crash with you for a week or something? It's getting a little boring here in Newark by myself, and I _really_ need a break from my parents. They won't get off my back about me spending more time with them ever since I got back." he whined.

"Sure you can. Even though I find it hard to believe that it's _that_ bad with your parents in New Jersey." I laughed. Dan had a little problem of over-exaggerating his emotions sometimes.

"Yes! Dude, you have _no idea_. Alright, I'm going to go pack to save _us_ some time now. I'll be there by…six, yeah? It'll probably take me a three-hour drive to get there." _Us?_ Oh man, I can actually imagine him fist pumping the air in triumph and just dumping random pieces of clothing into any bag that was nearby right now.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be here." I rolled my eyes and laughed again.

"Sweet! I'll see you later then!" he hung up after he got in the last words. I pulled the phone away from my ear and brought it to the front of my scrunched up face. To someone passing by, I possibly would've appeared confuse staring at my phone. I shook my head at how random my morning was starting out already and grabbed the letter as I stood up to go inside my house. _At least I would have some company to keep me distracted for this next week_, I thought to myself.

* * *

After a nice long shower and some change of clothes, I had decided to go grocery shopping so that I could make dinner for Dan and me tonight. Pushing the grocery cart through the vegetables aisle, I begin to think about what I actually wanted to make tonight. _Lasagna maybe? Or pizza?_ I heard a sudden clash and pull myself together to see what was going on. I looked up and saw the same pair of brown eyes I've grown to know so well. I looked down at the other end of my green grocery cart and saw that I had absentmindedly crashed into Mrs. Fields' cart.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" I apologized. I rushed over to where she was and touched her arm and shoulder, freaking out like a duck, and looking around to check and see if she was okay. Concern rushed through all parts of me and I instantly felt so guilty for not having been more careful as I had let my mind wander earlier.

"Paige… Paige! I'm fine, no need to worry. My goodness, look at how much you've grown since the last time I saw you!" she smiled proudly at me. I blushed and looked down, but my hands still stayed protectively rooted to where they were on her arm and shoulder. I felt her wrap her arms around me all of a sudden, and I gave into her warm embrace. _I've missed her._ I wasn't happy to admit this, but it seems like she's grown some worry lines over the years. It must've been from all the worries she had to endure while Emily was away. Two years seemed like forever. I hadn't remembered feeling this safe in a mother's arms for so long.

"I've missed you," I mumbled into her neck and I felt her nodding into my shoulder and rubbing my back.

"We've _both _missed you too, honey." she said.

I pulled away from the hug first and look at her because I knew whom she was speaking for as well. She was all teary-eyed now, and I reached into my bag for a tissue and brought it up to her face to lightly touch it to the corner of her eyes. She brought one of her hands up and covered mine, stopping the motion. I stared into her eyes, feeling guilt-ridden as ever that she looked so sad. _Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood?_ I couldn't imagine how sadder she would feel if she'd known the truth. She's always been like a second mother to me after Emily and I had dated. Seeing how torn my parents were over the medical exams and psychological evaluation process two years ago, I couldn't bear putting her through that too. It was a miracle that she still loves me the way she does now…even after I had broken her daughter's heart. _Yeah. To be misunderstood is certainly better than causing this lovely woman, who's like a mother to me, more pain_. We seem to carry these things inside us that no one else can see. For me, that thing was a universe of pain. The pain of knowing that life is finite. The pain of losing your first love. The pain of living every day with the fact that it was my choice to let her go. "_Act selfless, you will be infinite_." It was a line I had remembered from a book I've read. I constantly reiterate to myself to justify my choice to let her go. So I did. I acted selfless. Or I had thought I did. I had set her free, even against my own will. I had scattered pieces of myself and then left them for her to find, hoping that someday they'd give her strength to let go and move on. _To someday love again_. Maybe it wouldn't be the same love, but she'd be able to pick up the pieces and love again. Then I'd be infinite. _She will love again, and I will be infinite._

"Paige, I know I am in no place to say these words…" she paused and blinked, searching for something beyond my eyes. She seemed hesitant at first to say the things she wished to say, but I saw a thoughtful expression touch her face and I patiently waited until she finally spoke. "But there are two types of people: _Those who want to cry, and those who've already cried and want to stop._ Do you…_understand_ what I'm trying to say here?" I _tried_ to understand. I wasn't sure if she was talking about _Emily _or _me_. Maybe she was referring to _herself_. Or maybe it was a general statement. But then she went on and begins to fill in the blanks for me, "She…_really _wants to stop_,_ but I know that _she can't_. I…just don't know what to do any more. I feel so…_hopeless_. I'm not trying to put all of this on you now, but…tell me Paige, _how can I help to make it stop_? How do I make it stop hurting her?" My heart broke at the words she uttered. Here I was standing before my ex-girlfriend's mother, and she's falling apart right before my eyes. _How had it come to this?_

"I… _I'm sorry_." I didn't know what else to say. What was I supposed to tell her?

She continued to look at me with misty eyes, and I began to pull her into my arms. That was the only thing I knew how to do at the moment. I held and comforted her. It no longer mattered that we were in the middle of the vegetables aisle of the grocery store. She needed this. _We _needed this. I felt just as lost in her arms as she was in mine.

Maybe…I should've left a note that said, "_Someday you will be_ _loved._" after all.

* * *

After we parted ways, it dawned on me that not everything was really how they appeared to be. I didn't know how to take it all in. I had imagined that she'd loathe me. Instead, here I was…finding out that she's never stopped loving me… _It killed me inside_. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I didn't want to believe that it was true. She couldn't love me. _She can't love me._ I struggled with keeping a balanced mind. _What do I do now? How do I fix this?_ But what was there to fix?

The ringing of my phone startled me. I searched around in my bag and finally pulled out my cellphone but by the time that I had found it, the phone had stopped ringing. I looked at the screen to check the time and saw that it was only a quarter until two o'clock now. I went to the missed calls history on my phone and found out that Spencer had called but hung up. I decided to call her to see what it was that she'd needed. After the fourth ring, I heard her pick up the phone on the other line.

"Hey," she breathed into the phone, sounding almost out of breath.

"Hey yourself. What's going on?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just having lunch at the Grille. Decided to go outside to get some _fresh air _though. Where are you at?" she questioned me.

"I'm in my car. On the way home to drop off some groceries. Look…about that letter…" I began, but Spencer interrupted me.

"You were still asleep, so I thought I'd leave a note to keep you from worrying about my disappearance when you woke up." she quickly explained.

"A _note_? Uh…_yeah_. More like a letter of _very grave confessions_. Why didn't you tell me this before? Why are you telling me about this_ now_?" I asked.

"Paige… I'm _her_ best friend. I can't stand seeing her like _this _any more. Can you?" Why was everyone seeing something I couldn't see? What on earth can they see that I obviously can't? What am I now? _Blind_?

"All these years… I thought that she could possibly be happy, Spencer. _Do you know how awful that makes me feel_?" I sharply said.

"I know… _I'm sorry_. I just… It was none of my business and it still isn't, and she's going to kill me for choosing to intervene now, but _I have to_. I can't stand seeing…_the both of you like this." _I heard her voice tremble on the other side of the line. A part of me felt bad that I had made her feel responsible for the trail of devastation and hurt that I had left behind, not her.

"Look…it's not _your fault_, Spencer. I'm sorry I went off on you like that. I just…_somebody_ should've just told me. I'd try to make things better if I had known." I sighed.

"What _could_ you do? What could you do that would've made things better, Paige?" she said with her voice raised. _Great, now she's getting upset with me. _

"I would've told her _the truth_." I finally said. Was I really? Would I ever have the heart to tell her? I didn't know. I just knew that if it would have lessened the pain, the hurt, and the anguish she'd been feeling, I would have done it. I would have told her if I knew she was hurting this much. That she was still hurting this much today.

"Will you do it _now_?" she asked.

"You mean, like _right now_?" her words bewildered me.

"My parents are hosting a party for their wedding anniversary this Saturday. _She'll be there._ Will you come?" she asked me. This Saturday? She'll be there… "Will you come and make things right?" I ran through all the possible scenarios that could happen, but my better half decided for me.

"_I'll be there_." I answered.

"I'm giving you a chance, McCullers. You better not screw up. Oh, and it'd be a good idea if you dressed up and brought a date to the party. It starts at six." she warned.

"I won't mess this up, although I'm not sure how I'll... A good friend of mine is coming into town very soon. I'll make him tag along." I said.

"Good, I'll add your name to the – " she barely said before I heard another voice.

"Spencer!" a voice screeched on the other side of the line. It sounded familiar but I wasn't sure who it was.

"Hanna," I heard Spencer said in a reprimanding tone. Their friendship still amuses me at times, because I never understood why Spencer had always treated Hanna like a little child. I had been close to all the girls when Emily and I were still dating. A part of me understood why Hanna didn't talk to me any more. She wanted to stay loyal to Emily. It was her way of saying that she had sided with her best friend.

"Hey Spence, I'll let you go. I've got to go prep the food for dinner anyways. I'll talk to you later?" I asked.

"Okay, I'll call you back later." I heard her say before we both hung up. I drove home in silence. I anticipated getting cold feet as soon as the phone call was over, but all I felt was fire. I felt I was on fire with the things I could've told Emily back then. It was like my body was the house I grew up in, and the fire was threatening to burn it down to the ground. My mind couldn't stop wandering over every word spoken to me about her today. Maybe I've caused more damage than I had intended. Maybe she wasn't as strong as I thought she was. But how could it be? How could…_my_ Emily give up just like that? No matter how regretful I felt, the deeds were already done. I shrunk in my driver's seat, feeling completely defeated for the second time in my life.

But at the same time, I felt selfish for feeling _happy_ knowing that she still loves me. She _actually_ still loves me. For some reason, it felt like the oldest story in the world. This love.

_Emily still loves me_.

* * *

I walked around my room, picking up scattered pieces of clothing on the floor. Throwing all the dirty clothes in the hamper, I carried it down the stairs and into the laundry room. I folded the shirts inside out and checked to see if I've forgotten anything in the pockets of my pants. I pulled a t-shirt inside out and threw it in the washing machine before picking up the last pair of jeans from the basket. Checking to see if there were any loose change or papers, I couldn't find any and was about to throw it in the machine along with all the other unwashed clothes, but the sight of a crotch stain had stopped me midway. I rarely get those stains anymore and the only time I do ever get them was when… _What? It doesn't make sense. I haven't been that sexually aroused in over two years._ I took a closer look at it, wondering how that had happened and try to remember when I had worn these pair of jeans. I thought hard and finally recalled that I had worn them the night I decided to hit the Hungry Owl Tavern karaoke bar. Suddenly flashes of vague snapshots appeared right before my eyes. Dark tresses. Light tanned skin. Warm brown eyes. A familiar grey trapeze tank top I feel I've seen before. Then, the barely visible birthmark at the nape of her neck all came into sharp focus. _Wait a minute _– that couldn't be right. I stood there with my jeans still in hand and thought that I must be going crazy. _Stop it, Paige. Just…no. It must've been one of those dreams again, _I finally convinced myself.

Shaking my head to clear my disproportionate thoughts, I quickly threw the last pair of jeans into the washer and then headed to the kitchen to finish cooking dinner. Just as I was about to set foot into the kitchen, the doorbell rang. _Wow, that was right on cue_. I turned around and headed to the front door. Looking into the peephole, I was surprised to see that it was Dan and I immediately unlocked the door for him.

"Hey champ, you're early!" I said excitedly. I looked at my watch seeing that it was only 5:05PM. I really wasn't expecting him until six.

"Yeah, seems like the highways are traffic-free today…and I kind-of sped here…" he admitted and smiled wickedly. I eyed him in a way that scolded him to know that he should've known better and to place safety before anything.

"Come here you," I said as I tugged his jacket and pulled him into a hug. He gently tapped my back repeatedly, and I rolled my eyes at his way of receiving hugs. Pulling away, I asked, "I was about to start on dinner, you want to help?"

"Sure, but can I go freshen up first?" he asked as he lifted up his duffel bag. I gestured for him to follow me after I closed the door behind us. Leading him up the stairs, I led him to one of the many guestrooms. "Wow, McCullers… I thought my house was big, but damn, this place is _huge_." he said in awe. I shook my head and opened the door to the guestroom.

"You can stay here, and the bathroom is a little to your left across the hall. Try not to make yourself too comfortable while I'm downstairs in the kitchen." I said and then began to walk out of the room. I felt a hand wrapped around my wrist, and I turned in response but was immediately caught off guard as I was pulled into another embrace.

"Thanks for this," I heard him whisper into my ear. I smiled and patted his back, and then pulled away. I fathomed what it was like to have parents hover over you because you're an only child. I understood how grateful he felt that I was letting him stay. A part of me felt like there was still something left unsaid because of all the other emotions in his voice, but another part of me felt scared to question it so I just left things as they were. I smiled at him before walking out of the room and down the hallway. Descending the stairs one step at a time, I felt that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have dinner for two tonight. The atmosphere suddenly felt too…_intimate_ for my liking. I walked into the kitchen and picked up my phone. Scrolling through my contacts, a name appeared and I sat on the idea for over a minute before dialing the number. After two rings, I heard someone pick up the phone.

"Wow, look who's calling _'The Sean Machine'! _I never thought I'd see the day when _Paige McCullers_ would actually pick up the phone to call _moi_." _The Sean Machine? Really?_ Ilaughed at what he had just referred to himself as. Some days, I wondered what he's done to the old Sean I once knew. But nonetheless, I never grew tired of his humorous ways and sometimes, his overbearing words.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, you arrogant fool. Are you free right now?" I asked.

"_Uh oh_, did I hit a nerve?" he joked. I rolled my eyes, wishing he'd answer the darn question already.

"Nope, you_ missed_ actually. One of my friends from U Penn is visiting, and I was wondering if you wanted to have dinner with us." I said, trying not to sound eager as I possibly can.

"What _friend_ are we talking about here?" he asked suspiciously.

"Just a _very _good friend. You'll like him. We could all eat and watch some football together. Just like old times. What do you say, buddy?" I asked earnestly.

"Okay, I'll head over in half an hour to check out _this friend _you speak of." he said with a playful tone. I tried to hold back a giggle. I really couldn't imagine anything more fun than having that much testosterone in one whole living room.

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit. Do you want me to bake some kale chips as well?" I asked. I knew they were his favorite. I was just trying to seal the deal. I laughed inwardly at how ridiculous this was that I was scheming to make sure he does show up and get his ass over here in good time for dinner.

"No way! Paige, you already know the answer to that!" I heard the excitement in his voice. If I didn't know any better, I would've thought that I had imagined him squeal on the other side of the line but I knew better than to tease him about that right now.

"I know. I was just teasing. Let me get to it now. See you in a bit!" I said before I hung up. I walked around the kitchen island and opened the fridge, pulling out a bunch of kale and placing them on the kitchen counter. Walking over to the oven, I opened it to pull out the baked casserole dish of Portobello Mushroom Lasagna I had made and I switched the temperature and preheat it to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Placing the lasagna on the counter next to the oven, I reached over the counter to get some aluminum foil to cover up the lasagna to keep it warm. I moved to the cabinets and pulled out a baking cookie tray and some parchment paper, bringing them with me to the kitchen counter. Pulling out a knife from one of the cabinet drawers, I began removing the leaves from the thick stems. As I began to tear the leaves into bite sizes, Dan walked in looking as comfortable as I was in my own house now. He walked over to me and watched as I tore the last of the leaves.

"Need some help?" he asked. I nodded and instructed him to wash the kale and dry them with the salad spinner. After placing the kale onto the parchment paper on the baking tray, I drizzled some extra virgin olive oil and seasoned it with some sprinkles of pink Himalayan sea salt. I walked over to the oven and opened it as Dan carefully slid the tray in. After I closed the oven, I set the timer to twelve minutes and took the baked casserole dish with me to place it on the kitchen counter. I opened one of the cabinets and pulled out three medium size dishes and put them next to the lasagna.

"You grabbed an extra plate Paige," Dan voiced but I looked up and smiled at him.

"Oh, right. A good friend of mine from high school is coming over. I hope you don't mind…" I said. He pursed his lip and knotted his eyebrows together before finally nodding his head as I had expected. He always did that when something was bothering him.

"_Oh…_ I thought it was just you and me… That's fine, I don't mind..." he trailed off and looked away. I felt a bit guilt-ridden by springing this on him now, but I was positively sure that things would get better once Sean had arrived.

"I know, but I haven't seen my friend in a long time, and we have all week to hang out alone, right?" I lied, nudging his shoulder and trying to lighten his mood. I got to remember to give Spencer a call, in case she didn't call me back, about hanging out with Dan and me for the next few days. He looked back at me and gave me a genuine smile.

"Right." he said and stared at me. I sighed inwardly, wondering why this kept on happening to me. I dropped my gaze and thought about how to keep our friendship platonic. I had already come out to him and made it clear that I was gay. We were friends. Really good friends. I just wanted to be sure that we'd stay that way. Thinking about it didn't really resolve anything, because I found my thoughts jumping around and finally settling on Emily once again.

"I had a really bad day today, Dan." I confessed out of the blue. I looked up and saw that he was surprised by my honest words. My confession. Even I was surprised by my own words.

"Do you want to tell me why?" he asked with some sort of hesitation. I thought about it for a moment before I decided that I truly wanted to tell him how I really felt.

"I keep on hurting the people I love, Dan. I don't want to…but it keeps on happening. And…it makes me feel so horrible. I don't deserve any of it. I don't deserve to be loved like this by everyone. I know that it sounds like I think very little of myself, but that's not really _it._ I just…I want to stop the hurt…because it hurts me too. It really hurts when I know that they're hurting because of me." I sadly said. I couldn't look up into his eyes as I said this. Somehow, he must've figured it out because I felt his fingers beneath my chin trying to lift it up. Staring into his eyes, I saw what I didn't want to see again. I looked away, trying to fight the tears that were boiling and ready to overflow. He put his hand on my left cheek and tried to get me to face him once more. I looked into his eyes again and saw how apologetic he looked.

"_I'm sorry._ Look Paige… Don't let this burden you. It's not your problem to deal with, okay? We're friends and all… That's the only thing you've got to worry about. It's all I would ever ask of you." He paused to make sure I accepted his request before he continued, "Remember when we all gathered at your apartment to watch a movie? What was that line again? '_We accept the love we think we deserve._' Yeah, I think that was it. Anyway…it's not so difficult to see that you've never stopped loving that girl you told me about during our freshmen year... You kept going on about how deep inside your soul you knew that love never lasts. I just wanted you to know that…_love never fails_, Paige. Everybody deserves to be loved, alright? In the end, I really believe that if it's meant to be, love will conquer all kinds of hardships." I nodded and smiled, silently thanking God for surrounding me with such understanding people. I think that those were the most heartfelt words I've ever heard him say.

"You don't know how much that means to me, Dan. Thank you for being so understanding." I said and moved in for a hug. He opened his arms and took me in gracefully, wrapping them almost protectively around me.

"You bet, kiddo." I heard him say. The banging on the door shook me abruptly, causing me to jump in Dan's arms.

"That's Sean, I think I'll go get it." I said and headed to the door to open it. "You know, we have a doorbell that you _never _use. Why can't you just ring the doorbell like any other person would?" I asked and folded my arms across my chest.

"Because I'm not like _any other person_." he gave me a cheeky smile. I rolled my eyes and stepped aside for him to come in before I closed the door behind us. I walked ahead of him, leading the both of us into the kitchen. Dan still stood in the same place that I'd left him and turned around to greet Sean.

"Hi, I'm Dan." he said as he reached out his hand. Sean eyed him for a short second before taking Dan's hand and shaking it.

"Sean. Paige hasn't ever mentioned you before," he said casually. Beneath Sean's cool exterior, I knew he was scheming something as he tried to humiliate Dan right then. I hope he didn't have anything too wild up his sleeves.

"Oh? She's never mentioned you either, _Sean_." Dan coolly threw back at him. I tried to stifle a laugh that threatened to come bursting out. _Oh man, this totally means war._ As though on cue, the timer on the oven went off buzzing a very loud sound throughout the entire house. It somehow reminded me of the buzzer right before a boxing match. _Here we go_, I thought to myself.

* * *

Half an hour later, we were all munching on the baked kale chips as we watched the basketball game that was on. I had forgotten that it wasn't football season, but the guys seemed all right with watching basketball too. I sat in-between them on the couch with Sean to my right and Dan on my left. Out of the corners of my eyes, I knew for sure that they were having some sort of staring contest, but I kept to myself and continued watching the television screen. I kind-of felt like the mediator in their very rotten marriage, but I sensed that they enjoyed each other's company just as well as they found satisfaction in ridiculing each other so I didn't bother to intervene too much. _Boys. _Suddenly, the doorbell rang. I threw my head back, wondering who it was. Standing up, I went to the door and looked through the peephole, taken by complete surprise when I found out who was on the opposite side of my front door.

"Hi," I said almost breathlessly as I opened the door.

"Hey… Sean said that you asked me over for dinner?" Emily asked. _Fucking Sean_. I should've known better. I'm going to punch him from the chin up once I see that bastard's face. Emily stood there staring at me, suddenly looking confused because I had a firm grip on the edge of the door and haven't stepped aside to let her in.

"_Of course._ Uh…well, um…come in?" I said, unsure of what to make of this situation. _Oh my god. Is this seriously happening now?_ She walked in slowly, looking around as though she's never seen the place before. Nothing had changed, really. I closed the door gently, not really ready to turn around.

"Paige…?" I heard her speak softly. I closed my eyes shut, hoping that this was just another one of those random episodes in my dreams. I breathed in and then out, opening my eyes to still see the door before me. My shoulders dropped slightly in disappointment that this was real. Pursing my lips together, I finally found a little bit of courage to turn around and let my eyes set on her form. Our eyes locked and I watched as all the memories of her warm brown eyes come rushing back.

"Um… The boys are in the living room…watching a basketball game right now. You can go ahead and…I'll grab you a plate of lasagna." I said, trying my best not to trip over words. She nodded but had a worried expression plastered on her face. I tried to walk past her, but I felt one of her hands wrapped around my right arm, stopping me in my track to the kitchen. The touch burned through my skin. Suddenly, I felt a wave of heat wash over me and I think I might've just melted under her touch.

"Look… I just wanted to talk, and then I'll leave if that's what you want." she said, her voice laced with a hint of disappointed. Had I given her some sort of indication of wanting her to leave?

"No, it's not that." I hurriedly say before I started to explain, "I…didn't…well, it wasn't me who asked you to come over, but please, stay. I…I'd love it if you'd stay." I felt like my brain was having some sort of meltdown. I couldn't even speak coherently as she stands before me because of the contact of her skin on mine. Her brows furrowed a bit before they relaxed and she nodded. I walked to the kitchen to get her some food, but it seemed she was set on following me there instead of joining the boys. As I uncovered the casserole dish to get some lasagna, I set it in the oven to warm it up a bit. Turning around to face her again, I saw that she was already sitting down on one of the chairs at the kitchen countertops. She seemed a little lost in thoughts from the faraway look in her eyes. I didn't know what to do. Do I stand here and wait? Do I go give Sean a piece of my mind? Or do I walk over and ask her what's wrong?

"You're staring." I heard her say and it snapped me out of my questioning thoughts. I looked into her eyes from across the kitchen.

"I am." I daringly admitted. _You're so beautiful, and you're sitting in my kitchen. How can I not stare? It's distracting._

"You can't just do _that,_ Paige." she said as she looked away from me. _Do what?_

"I'm not following what you're trying to say here," I responded. I heard her sigh from across the room. _Had I somehow upset her? What have I done? What was she referring to? I don't understand._ I saw that she was about to say something, but Sean burst into the room like a cannonball with Dan walking slowly behind him in tow.

"Emily! You made it!" he went over and engulfed her into one of his bear hugs. He glanced over at me and attempted to make a save for it, "Uh, I mean, _oops_, I thought I had texted for Hanna to come over…and somehow sent it to your number instead…" I eyed him suspiciously and he took a few steps back so that he was behind Emily and out of her sight, clasping his hand together and begging for me to put it all behind us. I shook my head slightly back and forth, giving him a look that told him he wasn't getting away with it anytime soon. His shoulders slumped for a bit before he stepped forward and slung his left arm around Emily's shoulders.

"All mistakes aside, Dan here was telling me all about your wild college days," he said with pride, bouncing back to his playful, snoopy side. I looked over to Dan and raised an eyebrow, wondering what on earth Sean was referring to. He cowered as he was caught under my gaze, and my eyes widened.

"You didn't!" I exclaimed. He gave me an apologetic smile and backed further away.

"Sorry, it slipped! I swear – " he said before getting cut off.

"Paige, I thought we were best friends? How could you _not_ let me in on this story?" Sean begins laughing. I glared at him in an attempt to get him to shut up but it didn't seem to have worked at all.

"Okay, what's going on here? I feel a little left out now." Emily's voice suddenly pierced the room. We all turned to look at her and saw that she was frowning a bit.

"It's nothing," I tried to sound nonchalant and was about to change the subject when Sean decided to jump in again.

"_Nothing_? Who are you trying to kid, Paige?" Sean teased and starts laughing. I went back to glaring at him, daring him to utter another word before I minced him up with mash potatoes. He's going to be digging his own grave if he let out even one word of it. I felt nervous and upset, but then a melodious laugh tear through the room and I turned back to see if I had heard the sound right. _Emily was laughing. _

"Oh my god! Paige! You did that?" she asked in-between her laughs. I was confused as to – That was until my eyes spotted Dan sitting next to Emily. I was so focused on threatening Sean that I had forgotten about Dan altogether. _Shit._

"Dan!" I yelled. Instead of looking guilty as hell, he started joining the other two and laughed along with them. I placed my hands on my hips and looked at the three of them in disbelief.

"I'm sorry, Paige." he managed to get out in the middle of laughing.

"Paige! How much did you have to drink that night? I mean, gee, I would've just slide down the arm of the stairs instead!" Sean joked. I placed my hands over my face and shook my head, completely mortified by the recollection of that hazy night.

"Okay, can we just get all the laughs out and move on now? There's a basketball game waiting for us in the living room!" I said, trying to change the subject. I felt completely embarrassed now that both Sean and Emily knew about what happened that night.

"How bad did it hurt? Did you bruise an arm or a leg? Oh my god! Did you get any scars? That'd be so sick!" Sean cried out. I rolled my eyes and went over to the oven to retrieve the lasagna I had warmed up for Emily.

"Dude, it was crazy. She had to get nine stitches to the back of her head after that fall." Dan shared with the other two as I put on the oven mitts.

"No way! Wait, Paige! Can I see?" Sean asked excitedly. I could almost imagine him jumping up and down in one place. Here I was, thinking that I'd left all of those embarrassing college days behind.

"_No_, you cannot see. Look, it wasn't entirely my fault for getting that intoxicated." I said as I looked expectantly at Dan. He grinned sheepishly and the other two looked over at him as well.

"Okay, okay, fine." he said as he raised his arms into the air. "It's entirely _my fault_ for making you tag along to that party…and getting your ass _so_ drunk that you fell down an entire flight of stairs into the basement. There, happy?" he asked.

"Oh, and don't forget about the part where everybody turned around and started clapping for her." Sean added. Suddenly, the entire kitchen erupted with roaring laughter. I sighed and reached into the oven for the lasagna after the boys retreated back to the living room. Taking it out of the oven, I placed the single serving onto a plate and then took off the oven mitts. I walked over to where Emily was and slid the plate her way on the kitchen countertops.

"I'm sorry that you're going to be stuck with me and these two ruckuses tonight, Em." I said and gave her a genuine smile. She returned a smile of my own, and picked up her plate to take it to the living room with her.

"There's no other place I'd rather be." she said.

* * *

After the game was over, Dan had gone up to shower before going to bed and Sean had already gone home. I stood at the opened door as Emily was putting on her shoes. We had light conversations all night about the game on the couch as the boys kept on making many stupid jokes sitting on the floor. It was a fun night altogether, and a part of me felt grateful to Sean for making it happen. I knew we were avoiding a lot of subjects right now, but I wasn't really prepared to talk yet. I was waiting until the party at Spencer's house to come around so that I could finally get my acts together and have a chance to fix _this_. I think she had sensed my hesitancy to talk, so she didn't press on.

"I had a great time tonight… Thanks for…well, thank you for _this_." I heard her say after she was done putting on her shoes.

"It's no big. Um…I know that you wanted to talk, but…can we do it some other time?" I asked.

"I understand. Well…good night." she said but still stood there, as though waiting on me to say something.

"You too… Good night, and drive safe." I said. We both stood still, staring at one another. The moon was high up in the sky, casting a blanket of light onto the road in front of the house. But here, she stood shining in the dark before me. I wanted to reach out and touch her, but I knew how inappropriate that would be. A part of me didn't want her to leave, or for this night to end just yet. _Just one more moment_. Or for time to momentarily stop so I could relish this for a little longer. I opened my mouth, about to ask her to stay a little while, but then she waved goodbye and turned around to leave. I watched as she walked away, and the more time that had passed by, the further she'd gotten away. I saw her get into her car and drove away, and I finally closed the door and turned off the porch light. I leaned back against the door and closed my eyes, breathing in the scent that she had left behind.

* * *

A few days after, Spencer and I had decided to go shop for our dresses together and of course, it was by default that Dan would tag along. We were browsing through a stand with sequin dresses, and I felt like it really didn't suit my style. I'd just wanted something plain and simple. I decided to cross the room and look at the more subtle and elegant gowns. I glanced back over to Spencer and saw that she was holding up a dress against her body, and Dan was standing back with a thoughtful expression and fingers on his chin. It seems like Spencer and Dan were getting along quite well. Spencer didn't usually warm up to people this quick. I mean, I haven't known her for long, but I knew it took her a while to loosen up around new acquaintances. I turned back around to look at the options I had on the stand. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder and my head whirled around to see who it was.

"Here, I think this will be the perfect fit." said the lady. I took the dress that she had gently thrust towards me without thinking. I stared at her in surprise, tilting my head to the right a bit out of habit. I looked at the black asymmetric silk dress that was now in my hands. It was beautiful and had the flowing look that I was searching for. It wasn't too showy but had just the right touch of charm to it. I suddenly remembered that I had the perfect black mid-calf boots to go with it too.

"Wow, thanks! How did you know what kind of dress I was looking for?" I curiously asked.

"I was watching you browse through the store, and it seemed like none of these out here catered to you. I went ahead and gone to the back of the store to see what I can find, and I found this classic little black dress." she said with pride. I could see that she was very passionate about her job. I smiled and thanked her again as she walked back to one of the desks at the back of the store.

I stretched out my arm and looked at the dress, flipping it back and forth to see if there were any mishaps. After checking for the second time, I didn't find any fault with it and walked over to the fitting room to try it on. Shrugging out of my jean shorts and loose tank top, I looked in the mirror to see that the years of hard work and great effort I put into the pool had definitely paid off. I turned and took the black dress off the hanger and put it on. Looking back at the mirror again, I noticed the straps of my bra hanging out. I stood there for a few seconds, pondering over whether I should take it off. After turning back and forth a few times, I finally decided to take it off. While twisting my arms back and unclasping my bra, I heard some ruffles outside before silence ensued. I stopped halfway in my act and tried to hear out the conversation on the other side of the red velvet curtain tracks.

"Look Spencer…I'd really like to have a chance get to know you. I know that you're a bit hesitant because Paige and I are friends, but please, allow me the honor to be your date to the anniversary party. I…haven't met someone as smart…and amazing…and quirky as you are in a long time. I just…please? I'll even talk to Paige about it." I heard Dan say. I clasped both hands over my mouth in shock and then stealthily removed one hand and pulled the edge of the curtain aside a bit to take a peek.

"Dan… I…don't know. I need some time to think about it, alright?" Spencer said to Dan. I watched as she nervously fidgeted with the dress she was holding in her hands, and Dan continued to stare at her, his eyes softening at the sight of her becoming this nervous.

"Take all the time you need, but I just want you to know where I stand. I know you feel it too, Spencer. You can't deny this…_connection_ we have. I know that you can feel it too…" It was quite shocking. He seemed completely enraptured by her, and although she looks undecided about him, I could feel that she felt the just same way about him. I couldn't really wrap my mind around the thought of how this had suddenly happened, but I could definitely see how this would end.

"It doesn't matter what I feel. You're supposed to be Paige's date, not mine. I can't do that. Please...don't make me." I heard her words fall to a whisper. _Or not._ Without a warning, I drew the curtains aside by impulse and surprised the two of them.

"_No_, you're going with him, Spencer. I'll find someone else to go with." I smiled triumphantly. They were both still stunned by my appearance, and I stepped closer towards them, taking each of their hands and bringing them together. My hands sandwiched theirs, as their hands were one atop of the other. "Don't worry about me." I said looking at Spencer. "This is the least I could do for you after all that you have done for me, Spence."

"Paige…" her voice trailed off and I saw a hint of gratitude in her eyes. I nodded and then turned to Dan.

"Now that this is settle, can I get an opinion or two on how this dress looks on me?" I asked and turned back to Spencer. "I think I should take off this bra, what do you think?" I asked.

"Yeah, let me help you." she said. After taking it off, I looked in the mirror and saw how fitting the dress was on me. I liked it. Actually, I think I liked it a lot.

We spent the rest of the morning finding the right dress for Spencer since I had already settled on the black asymmetric silk dress. We also went around shopping for a new dress shirt for Dan and it had been incredibly fun and relaxing. Spencer and Dan was such a sweet scene to witness for the rest of the day. I knew I was right. For some reason, I saw how it would end.

* * *

Sean pulled up the car in front of Spencer's house and it slowly came to a stop. It seems like the party was already bustling with Rosewood residents. There were a lot of cars parked in front of the Hastings' residence and we were fortunate enough to find a parking space from across the street. I waited as he got out of the car first and walked around to open the car door for me. I lightly wrapped my arms around his right and we began walking to the front of the Hastings' home. I reached out to ring the doorbell and I looked over to see Sean smirking.

"You better be on your best behavior tonight. I've had my fair share of embarrassing moments lately, so don't you dare do anything silly. You got it, Bubba?" I warned. His smug smile grew even wider, and I just let out a sigh in defeat. Talking down on Sean had never seemed to work, but I always did it just to make myself feel a little more at ease. If only he'd listen.

"Come on, Paige. You know that I would never embarrass you." he teased. I looked at him seriously, and watched as his face fell and become more somber.

"_I mean it_, Sean. I have important business to take care of tonight." I said sternly. This was the night. It was time. The last thing I needed tonight was for Sean to mess things up for me.

"Not a worry, I'll even be your wingman if you need me to be." he winked at me. As I let out another frustrated sigh, the front door swung open and I found myself staring at the person that was standing before both Sean and I.

"Melissa! It's so nice to see you again," Sean said. It seems like I wasn't the only one giving him an odd look when I turned back to see that Melissa had the same expression that I had on her face.

"Yeah… Come in," she said and waved us in. I wasn't as surprised to see how beautiful the place was decorated for the party, whereas Sean's jaw was slightly hanging. I reached over and helped him close his mouth, and we went over to the coat stand where Sean first took off his jacket and then helped me out of mine. We walked further into the house and saw how it was filled almost to its capacity. Looking around, I tried to search for Dan and Spencer but couldn't seem to spot them in the room filled with so many people.

"I'll go grab us some drinks," I heard Sean say before he left me by myself. Walking around, I couldn't find any familiar faces. I honestly wasn't aware that there were this many people in Rosewood that I didn't know. Suddenly, I felt a bit out of place and decided to head outside. I walked towards the back of the house, and finally found myself in the backyard with thousands of colorful twinkling lights. It seemed like the Hastings had overdone it again, but this time it had turned out to be quite amazing. I kept on walking and admired the lights that were wrapped around the trees and strung out on the many different flowering shrubs. Whoever had done it did such an amazing job. I kept on walking and was completely awestruck by the glow and sparkling of the lights. They stood out so much in the dark even though they were dimly lit. It created such a warm and enchanting ambiance, and I felt myself getting lost in some kind of spell.

As I walked further into their backyard, I heard myself gasped as soon as my eyes fell upon the white charming gazebo that looked like it had come out of a perfect fairytale, completed with lit candles and flower garlands. There were white tea candles set along the rails, and a few candle-stands attached to the post of the gazebo with white candlesticks set alight. From the bottom of the posts of the gazebo, the vines of white flowers traveled up to the roof and wrapped around it along with strings of dazzling light. I watched as the flowering shrubs were embellished with sets of stringing lights surround the gazebo, and I suddenly felt like I was caught in the middle of some sort of fairytale. I walked over and stepped into the gazebo, letting my eyes wander in awe.

"_You look beautiful tonight_," I heard someone say from behind me. I quickly turned around as I had recognized the voice. My eyes fell onto a silhouette that was a few feet away from me. Even with the dim lights, it was easy to make out the figure in the evening night.

"It's funny that you say that. You've never strike me as a person who'd hide and ambush someone in the dark until now," I simply said.

Emily took a few steps forward out of the darker parts of the garden and was finally visible with the glow of the twinkling lights surrounding us. I stood in awe as I admired her figure in a creamy-looking floral appliqué strapless dress. _She was utterly beautiful_. I don't think I'll ever be able to fathom that kind of beauty radiating from her. I finally brought my eyes up to meet her after they had travel the length of her body, and she stared at me with such intensity that I found myself falling into a deep abyss of unknown.

"I wasn't hiding. I saw you earlier in the house but before I could get to you, you were already slipping away so I followed you back here." she spoke candidly.

"_Oh_…" I uttered. I watched as she took a few more steps forward and finally stepped into the gazebo with me. We stood there, eyes still locked. I watched as various emotions played across her eyes until I finally settle onto one. _Hurt._

"I want for us to talk about _it_." she said. I've had enough time to go over everything that I planned on telling her. It was only a matter of just doing it now.

"_I know_." I answered.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Author's Note**_**: Hey All! First and foremost, I would like to apologize for the delay of this update. School had just resumed and the first few weeks are always a bit wild and takes a little of getting used to. I'm hoping to update at least once a week from now on, but if that doesn't work out then I think you can always expect the update to be a little lengthier when it's overdue. **

**Also, I have a game I want to play with you guys. Well, it's not really a game but it should be a fun activity for all of us. I really want you all to be a part of this story too! Only if you want to be. :) I'd like for any of you who leave a review to give me a line that I could use in the story, but make sure it's appropriate and is applicable to the storyline. From Chapters 16-20 I will try my best to incorporate that line you've given me. **

**Let's say someone gives me a line that says, "**_**I can feel you forgetting me**_**." Then I will try to use that line somewhere in the story for the next upcoming chapters. I'll give you folks a heads up at the beginning as well to let you know which chapter it'll be in. How about it? **

**Let the fun begin! :)**

**Thank you for the new follows, favorites, and reviews! You folks are awesome! :) I hope everyone's having a darn good day! Cheers everyone!**

**Hipnos7777:** I love how you're so adept to discerning my writing style and motives as a writer. For some reason, it doesn't appear like a long overdue conversation to me. Do you think I've prolonged "the talk" for too long? I've learned from past experiences that people don't like to confront certain matters immediately and I have applied that concept to this story. I'm glad that you love Sean. He's a fun character to write. I'll always think of him as "that meddling kid" you know? Have you watched Scooby Doo? I think he should team up with the gang and be a crime solver instead. Although…judging by his playful nature, I don't know if he'd take any crime seriously. ;) I think it surprised some people when they didn't see Samara in the previous chapter. I hadn't meant to write her in at all, just threw her in ch14 as a tease…and had you all anticipating for her appearance. Hahaha Thank you for reading and reviewing! Is there a name I can address you by the next time you review? I hope that you enjoy this chapter. Please have a good day! :)

**TheShawmeister:** Thank you for the holiday wish J! I think I can try to understand your standpoint of Samara. You're not the only person who isn't fond of her character. :) And you're entirely right; she is a charmer. Don't we all love them? Let's just hope she doesn't try to charm Emily's pants off. Haahahaha I love that you enjoy Pam/Paige's interaction. I felt like it was SUCH a touching scene when I wrote it (had my emotions flying all over the place). I feel like Paige is so lucky to have so many mother figures in her life you know? That there's this community of people she isn't totally aware of that has her back even after everything's gone south with her and Em. I don't think there's anything else that can compare to that kind of unconditional love in Rosewood. I love writing Sean, but Dan on the other hand…I kind-of have mixed feelings about him. I really wonder how Dan and Spencer's relationship will develop. Seems like an interesting path for them. I thought the laundry scene was fun to write as well, although I didn't expect it to elicit that much laughter. I'm glad you enjoyed that part. :) Thank you for reading and reviewing! Always can count on you for a positive feedback no matter what. I hope you're doing it because you actually like it and not to get on my good side. :p Hope you enjoy this chapter! Have a good day J! :)

**Gigabyte1:** Thank you for always reminding me that I don't disappoint after every chapter. :) It seems like you've really taken a liking towards Sean. I suppose his meddlesome ways are adorable at times. I think you're one of the few who've brand him as Cupid. ;) I'm going to infer from what you're saying that you like Dan. :) I'm still trying to figure out how I'd like to steer his relationship with Spencer. I bet for your socks that you thought Spence was going to go with Paige huh? ;) Don't deny it. I know you did. :p I don't get it, why is everybody laughing at the crotch stain part? Hahaha I'm just like…sitting here thinking…gosh that was so embarrassing for Paige…and you guys are all laughing about it! Tsk tsk tsk! Thank you for coming back to read and review after every time! Is there a name I can address you by the next time you review? I'm sorry it wasn't a quick update, but it's finally here. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the previous ones. Please have a good day! :)

**Del:** Hello Delphine! I looked it up and found out that it means 'dolphin' in French! What a beautiful name you have. :) I can't believe I have a reader allllll the way from Singapore! That is WAY too cool. You're SO cool! ;D I actually went back to see a few reviews and saw that I forgot to answer one of your questions, and I'll respond to it now. I'm actually not a medical student. Just a regular student in her second year of college. I took a psychology class back in 11th grade, and my teacher had gone over schizophrenia for a little bit. I was very intrigued by the mental illness at the time and surfed the web for more information about it, but I have no personal experience with it nor have I studied it extensively. Kind-of funny how people aren't fond of Samara, yet they still anticipate her appearance in the previous chapter huh? ;) Love quotes? You mean…all those really touching lines spoken between characters? When I wrote it…I felt it was a bit too much because it made me feel very overwhelmed and emotional, but I decided to not change it in the end. It wasn't "Dan all of a sudden" for me. I've planned for Dan to jump in a looooong time ago ever since the third chapter when I introduced his name amongst Paige's friends at U Penn. but Audra decided to jump in first, so I had to set Dan aside for a bit. Paige invited Sean over because Dan had…well, "indirectly confessed" his feelings for Paige, and Paige didn't want to be all alone with Dan so she invited the first person that came to her mind when she flipped through her cell's contacts. And of course, Sean's appearance is there for a purpose. If it wasn't for Sean, how would Emily come over? ;) Right? I was trying my best not to make it awkward between Em and Paige. Glad that came out right! Writing Pam's scene made me really emotional. But I am so glad to know that I evoke those kinds of emotions. Thank you. Your words are really motivational and keeps me writing, you know? Thank you for always coming back to read and review. I hope that you have a very good day ahead! :)

**Paily lover:** You're more nervous than they are? How is that even possible? ;) I thought you didn't like Samara? Why were you looking for her in the previous chapter? :P Still upset about Spencer huh? I'll try to fix that soon. I'm sorry I reminded you of such a…sad memory. I'm glad to know that you find this story somewhat relatable. I've read a few stories on here that reminds me of someone too. I get really emotional when the memories come flooding back as well, and sometimes the feelings are so powerful, it overtakes me. I don't know if that ever happens to you. You should feel special. ;) What name can I address you by the next time I respond to your review? I feel like we have a really nice reader/writer friendship here. Thank you for always coming back to read and review. I mean…you take the time out of your day to write a response to this story and I'm really grateful and appreciative for that kind of gesture around here. :) Hope you enjoy this chapter, and have a very good day!

**MindFullofStories:** Dencer? LOL Like a dense relationship? I'll try to remember that you coined that term first if anything ever happens between them, Lil. ;) I love how everybody really likes Sean's character and loving him more after each chapter. Hm, why is it that you were waiting for Samara to show up? You were all prepared for me to suck you into this cruel AU world huh? ;P hahahahaha Why are you giving me all these ideas and not letting me use them? And you blame me for all this "cruelty". Tsk tsk tsk! Shame on you. ;) I like the idea of you getting all giddy over this story. I feel the same way too when I post it up and share it with everyone here. Thank you for the holiday wish! That's so sweet of you! :) Also, thank you for coming back to read and review. I hope that you enjoy this chapter too. Please have a nice day, Lil! :)

**Sazar:** Just because I don't see Spencer and Samara being in the way of Paily now…doesn't guarantee that I might play with that idea a bit in the future. ;) Don't get too comfortable yet, but letting a little tension within you ease a bit might be a good idea for now. :) I like that you enjoy the pace of this story. I don't want to just dive in right away and have them get together immediately. I mean, trust me, I want that for them too but I feel that they have to work gradually towards that kind of…Paily togetherness again after such a break that lasted for 2+ years. I've read stories where Paily shares the same dorm and although I Really love that idea, I'm not too sure if I'm sold on it just yet. When that time comes around, I guess we'll both find out how the rooming situation goes. :) I am TOTALLY trying to make you cry with the Paige/Pam scene! hahahahaha Oh silly me, I bet you didn't even shed a tear, did you? ;) Sean's a fun character to write. I kind-of wish he was my friend. Spencer is…something, isn't she? I love how she's not as sure of herself as she appears to others and we get a peek into this side of her that's so vulnerable and open to hurt. It's precious. Anyway, thank you so much for coming back to read and review! Is there a name I can address you by the next time you review? It's always a pleasure for me to write this story, and seeing that you think so highly of it…I think my heart just melted a little. Thank you. Please have a very good day ahead! :)

**Jamscottroc54:** Uh no. You cannot say that. You CAN write a fanfic if you wanted to. Pretty please? Or like you can PM me a short one. Yeah? Pweaaaaase? *inserts pouty face here* Why are you always so Sweet? ;) It's like you manage to make me laugh, smile, and make my heart do a little flip every time I read your review. You should totally write a Paily fanfic! ;D I am not joking! The characters in this story have very irregular schedule since it's summertime so it's kind-of difficult to carry out an assassination, you know? :p Thank you for the holiday wish, love! I take it from what you said of Pam and Paige's sad scene that you liked that part? It was an amazing scene for me to write. I almost felt like Pam was her mother for a few moments while writing that part. Now don't you go creating new theories about Paige and expose her super secret undercover life! That's a no-no! ;P Glad the "crotch stain" part got you laughing. *rolls eyes here* hahahaha You and your pervy thoughts! Uh…why wouldn't Everyone be in love with Paige? Hell, I'M IN LOVE WITH PAIGE. There, I've said it. Am I on your list to kill too? hahahaaha Okay…I think YOU are the only one who thought of that "oven scene" with Dan as a sexual scene. LOL That was Hilarious! Why would you think that? How does your mind discern that scene in a sexual way? hahahahahaha Oh my… You don't want people to be in love with Paige but you want Sean to embarrass her? What is wrong with you? LOL I now see how much you Love Sean. Touché…you're starting to pick up on my writing style so soon! How am I going to surprise you with these future chapters now? Hm… I will find a way. :) Thank you for coming back to read and review again! Is there a name I can address you by the next time that you review? I'd love to know. :) I hope that you enjoy this chapter and have a wonderful day!

**Nae10:** Just checked Paily Heart Melted off my list. :) I'm really so glad that you enjoy this version of Paily. It means a lot knowing you like it that much. I'm glad that the sadness of this story doesn't keep you away though. I try to balance some…happy moments and the sad scenes. I've seen how much the sad parts take its toll on some people and I hope that isn't happening for you. I hope this story continues to make you happy and makes you want to come back for more. :) You give me the highest praise…and I just don't know what to say to that. All the words that I can muster up right now is Thank You. It means a lot to know that this story holds that much value to you and I'm really glad to contribute to the Paily fanfic community. :) Always loved reading Paily fanfics and now that I'm writing one…it just feels really great. Thank you for coming back to read and review Nae. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please have a wonderful day!

**Cici:** I really like the idea of two people who were in love with Paige getting together too. It's like…they bond over their feelings for Paige…and then something really special happens between them. I find it so interesting that so many parts of the previous chapter reminded you of the actual show, because I think I managed to steer away from that (unintentionally) but somehow it still comes back to be in the shadows of this story (seeing that it made you recall some scenes from the PLL show). It's amazing that you can recall these scenes so…vividly and you Know which episode they come from too. Amazing! ;)…I can't tell you about Spencer's reasons for not telling Em yet… You'll have to keep reading to find out. ;) Hearing it from you too, I suppose it's official that Sean is a lovable character. Maybe I should hold a poll or something on here to see if anybody would like Sean to be a regular. hahahaha I shouldn't instill that idea into anyone's brain or else it'll come back to haunt me. I don't see Dan as The Dan from Gossip Girl… Where do you get the "feeling" that Em will talk first and drop a bomb on Paige? What made you feel that way? It'll be sad if Paige doesn't speak the truth and lets Emily go again. A true tragedy indeed. There IS such a thing as pink Himalayan sea salt. It's supposed to be the purest form of salt available because it derives from ancient sea salt deposits. It comes in this little grinder. Like a peppercorn grinder per se. And whenever you want to use it, you actually grind the pink/sandy rose-ish crystals and you get these sprinkles of sea salt. They're kind-of pricey though…so I don't know if you're willing to invest about $8 for about 8oz. of it but look at it this way…they can last you a while because it's not like you'll use up all that salt in a month or two. :) hahahaha I do cook. I'm a vegetarian though, so I don't know how much meat-lovers would love the recipes I include in the story. ;) Thank you for always coming back to read and review Cici! I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a good day! :)

**Marmoreck:** Hello! Thank you for your kind words. I'm very glad that this story makes you happy. Haven't seen you around before but I hope to see more of you in the future. Is there a name I can address you by for future reference? I hope you enjoy this chapter…and have a very good day, okay? :)

**Bleedingsanity:** Oh my… I haven't seen you in a while! So glad to see you come back! :) I remember reading your last review…and it really touched my heart because your words really inspired me to write more "magical" scenes but it was too bad you haven't read them until now because I've always wanted to thank you for those chapters. :) Now I get to, so Thank You. "Entrancing" is one of my favorite words and I really can't believe that you would use that word to describe my writing! Wow. Thank you! I'm so shocked that this Paily story had pulled you in That much… Wow, it means so much to hear you say that. I don't mind you rambling… ;) It's so beautiful the way you do. I'M entranced by your kind words. Thank you… You are so kind. I'm so lucky to be on the receiving ends of those sweet words you've spoken, Amanda. Thank you for the holiday wish! And thank you for coming back to read and review. I hope that you enjoy this chapter. Please have a beautiful day!

**Pokiepup:** I was starting to wonder where you've been. Did you mean to say that your birthday was on Dec30? If so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ;D I'm so sorry that you've gotten sick and haven't been feeling well. I hope you feel better soon! ;)… I'm cruel? Are you kidding me? You haven't updated Unseen in A While… hahahahaha I'm still waiting for it to come soon you know? ;) I'm glad that the previous chapters did not disappoint. I'm still in the midst of deciding whether I should continue this onto college. What do you think? Anyway, I'm really glad you're back to read and review. Is there a name I can address you by the next time you review? Always a pleasure to hear from you. :) Hope you enjoy this chapter and continue to love it. Have a good day! And get well soon! :)

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV **

After having lunch with the girls, Samara offered to drive me home and Spencer loosened her reign on me and let me go. The drive to my house was a quiet one. It felt a bit strange even, because Samara was always so chirpy and talkative when we were together. I looked over and saw how her brows were knotted fairly tight together. Hesitantly, I reached over and touched her hand that was on the gear lever.

"What's wrong, Samara?" I asked, voicing my concern. I watched as a myriad of emotions play across her face before she quickly glanced down at our touching hands, and she pulled her hand away that was underneath mine.

"I don't know what you're doing with me…but I'd like to clarify some things." she said. I pulled my hand back into my lap and looked down in embarrassment. She was right. I had no idea what I was doing. To be exact, what I was doing _with her_. I shifted a bit uncomfortably in my seat and slowly looked up to watch her observing me from the corner of her eye while she tried to stay focus on the road.

"How about we talk over tea?" I tentatively asked. I saw her nodded a little and I let out a sigh of relief. Turning and resting my back against the seat, I felt a little better knowing that this wasn't going to be some car quickie again. For some reason, I found myself slightly laughing out loud at the thought. I shook my head a little in disbelief for such an inappropriate thought at this particular time.

"What's so funny?" she asked. I continued to shake my head and tried to get my act together.

"Nothing." I smiled. _Nothing at all_. We continued the ride home in silence.

* * *

"Sit. I'll go grab us some green tea." I told her before I left the room. I got some water and set the boiler onto the stove before switching on the heat. Walking over to the cabinets, I grabbed two teabags and a tin can containing floral green tea that was tucked away in the corner. I opened another cupboard to take out the two mugs with handles and then set them down on the kitchen counter. Opening a cabinet drawer nearby, I grabbed two small teaspoons and subsequently placed one in one of the mugs while opening the tin can to scoop some tealeaves into the tea bags with the other spoon. I hummed and put the tin can containing the tealeaves back where I got them, and put the tea bags filled with tealeaves into the cups. I walked over and switched off the fire, grabbing the boiler off of the stove and headed over to pour the hot water into the cups. I watched as the tea bags floated to the top and then put the boiler back to where I found it after I was done. Walking into the living room with the two cups, I saw that Samara was already settled down on the couch and going through one of the photo albums that was placed beneath the table. She looked up and smiled at me, and I tried to walk over steadily and not spill the contents in the cups.

"I _still_ remember that time when your mom invited me over for dinner. We were looking through this same _exact_ photo album together on your bed." she smirked. I smiled and set both of the cups onto the wooden table. I sat down next to her and bent over to see which photo she was looking at. It was the picture of my first dive. I smiled as memories came rushing back of us sitting on my bed almost three years ago looking at the same photo.

"I'm glad there are things about us that you still remember." I said and looked up to see if I'd catch her eyes. She was looking at me curiously, probably wondering if she was _misreading_ things again.

"So, what was that back there? At the restaurant?" she asked. I bit my lower lip, trying to come up with a way to explain to her how I really feel. "Look…Emily, I'd love for us to go as friends but…anything more than that, I'm sorry…I just can't."

"Is it because of what I told you earlier? Because I don't – "

"It's not just _that_, Emily. I'd like for us to be friends…first. Then we can see where things will go from there, alright?" she asked.

"Okay…" I replied. She reached over for my hands and held them, and then she released my hands with one of hers and brought it up to my face, caressing and holding me gently. I closed my eyes and leaned into the touch a bit, relishing the warmth of her hand. I felt something inside of me melt all of a sudden. I couldn't be grateful enough to her for taking careful measures before delving into this with me. It was nice…to see that she didn't want to rush anything between us.

"I was thinking maybe we could do something together before the party. It might be a better idea if I didn't go though… I saw the way your friends were looking at me, and…I really don't want to get off on the wrong foot with them." she said. I nodded slowly and then turned away from her. She pulled her hands away and I saw her reach for the cup of tea.

I don't know how long we sat that way, but I vaguely remember her coming up with some excuse to leave. I stayed on the couch for the longest time, thinking about everything and nothing at all. I didn't realized how long I had sat there until I heard the message alert on my phone. I looked at the screen and saw that I had gotten a text message from Sean.

_**Hey Em! It's Sean (just in case you've forgotten my numero). Paige wanted me to ask you if you're free right now and maybe want to come over for dinner with us and watch some football? Let me know ASAP! She's already starting on the baked kale chips! **_

I stared at the phone in confusion. Paige is asking me over for dinner? Now why would she do that after all that's happened? After she kissed that girl at the Grille! I felt my blood boiling as I recalled the scene in my head. It was as though she was a different person from the girl I used to know so intimately. It was hurting me to know…that I still don't take that much place in her heart. But then…there were moments where I felt like she hadn't change. Moments I had secretly caught her in. _Like the one in the meadow_. It was the Paige I used to know. The one who floats on her back and hums relatable songs. The girl that went back to our old sacred spot…maybe to reminisce past times like I did. The person who had kept me…even without chains. My heart rate had gradually gone down and I look back at the phone, contemplating on how I should respond to their invitation. _Maybe we should talk. Yeah. Stop being a coward and confront her about it, Emily. Alright. Yeah. Okay. I'll do that._

_**Sure, I'm free. Where at?**_ I texted him back. It was barely a few seconds before I had another incoming text from Sean.

_**Her place! I'll see you in a bit, Em! ;)**_

After reading the message, I dropped my phone onto the couch and slumped back into the cushions behind me. _Maybe it isn't such a bad idea after all._

* * *

I stood before her doorsteps for a moment before I had finally build up the courage to take a few steps forward to the outer door of her house. Standing in front of her door, I wondered if I should knock or ring the doorbell. Rocking back and forth on my heels, I heard the porch creak a little before I decide to go with the latter. _This is it._

After a few moments, the door slowly cracked open. I had sensed a slight hesitancy from the person opening the door, but the door steadily opened and finally I had a full view of who it was behind the door before. She stood there almost in an abandonment of everything I had thought I've ever known. It was weird. Just standing there before her…I no longer felt completely unraveled under her gaze. It felt like meeting someone for the first time. Restarting with a brand new slate. Starting over… _But could we ever?_

"Hi…" I heard her say almost as if she was out of breath. Had she been working out? My eyes began to wander over her body and I quickly take in the loose flowing grey tank top and spandex shorts she was wearing. I took a deep breath and then tried to breathe out slowly, but I felt my breath quiver as I exhaled. I swallowed hard and tried to bring my eyes back up to hers.

"Hey… Sean said that you asked me over for dinner?" I managed to utter. I let out another breath and watched as confusion loomed over her features. I saw her right hand tighten on the edge of the door with knuckles turning almost a white color, and she stood there in silence. I went over what I said again in my head. Had I said something wrong to upset her? _But how?_ I had only said…

"Of course. Uh…well, um…come in?" I heard her say and saw her step aside to make way for me. I didn't dare to move from the place I stood. I stared into her eyes, looking for any signs of doubts or unwillingness, but I couldn't find any so I slowly walked through the door. Turning around, I watched as she close the door unhurriedly, but once it was shut, she stayed in place and kept her back to me. _Is something wrong?_

"Paige…?" I hesitantly addressed her by her name for the first time since the night _we_… I bit my lower lip to control the words that begged to escape me. The way her name had escaped my lips and into the thick air between us, I couldn't imagine why it had come out more intimately than I'd intended. I bit my tongue, wondering if I had overstepped any boundary. My eyes began to wander again now that I had a full view of her back. I watched as her shoulders fell a bit and noticed the taut muscles in her arms when she unconsciously flex. I wanted to reach out and let my hands run down her arms…feeling her muscles twitch beneath my fingers, but I held back and pursed my lips in an attempt to control the temptation within me. I held my breath as my eyes traveled down her back, over her tight womanly curves, and openly gaped at her long toned legs. I started to breathe in shallow breaths, thinking about how I would make it through the rest of dinner if I could barely keep my hands to myself right now. My gaze was slowly travelling up the length of her body until I saw that she was beginning to turn around that my eyes immediately shot straight up to eye level. It felt like an eternity looking into her eyes. What if I never knew her? What if we've never met? Could I possibly have fallen for her eyes?

"Um… The boys are in the living room…watching a basketball game right now. You can go ahead and…I'll grab you a plate of lasagna." she said. I nodded but I still felt slightly uncomfortable with how distant she was being. Maybe she was just trying to be nice, offering an invitation but not really wanting me over at all. Possibly expecting me to decline when Sean had sent an invite. Without warning, she began walking my way and I felt her brush right past me, and a sudden pang of hurt appeared beneath my chest. I tried to swallow my fears. I guess this was how it was going to be between us from now on. _Consider it forgotten. _The voice echoed throughout my head. Flashes of the scene in the locker room after the night she had surprise-kissed me in the car flashed before me. I didn't want to pretend that nothing had happened again. I couldn't. _No… No,_ I adamantly thought in my head. I don't want to pretend. _It happened. _I wasn't going to pretend that something didn't happen again, because it did. The words repeated themselves a thousand times inside my head. With my surprisingly quick reflex, I turned around and grabbed hold of her lower arm before she could entirely slip away, and she immediately stopped in her tracks, turning back around to look at me.

"Look… I just wanted to talk, and then I'll leave if that's what you want." I said. I didn't want to leave, but if that was what she wanted after we spoke, I'd understand. She was always the one to walk away, but this time around, I was in her house so I guess it would only make sense that I'd leave.

"No, it's not that." she quickly said. I stared at her as she continued, "I…didn't…well, it wasn't _me_ who asked you to come over, but please, stay. I…I'd love it if you'd stay." _Oh. So it wasn't her who… Oh. That makes sense now. _I watched her carefully, trying to decipher if she really meant what she had said. When I saw that she did, I slowly nodded and agreed to stay. I watched as she walked towards the kitchen and I followed from behind. I went over to one of the chairs at the kitchen countertops and sat down. Looking around, I felt incredulous to see that everything remained the same since the last time I was here. I started to remember the days we'd spent together in this house cooking, swimming in the backyard, lying on the same lawn chair while watching the sunset, and falling asleep in her arms upstairs after a long swim practice at school. I looked over to where she was, suddenly noticing that she was staring at me with an intense gaze.

"You're staring." I pointed out the obvious.

"I am." she admitted. I felt a familiar wave of heat overtaking my body. _No. Stop._

"You can't just do _that,_ Paige." I uttered and looked away. I closed my eyes and wished that my body would stop reacting this way to her voice and would cool down soon.

"I'm not following what you're trying to say here," I heard her say and turned back to look at her. I was about to tell her to stop acting ignorant because I knew that she knew what she was doing, but I heard Sean screamed in excitement from behind me.

"Emily! You made it!" he said and wrapped his big muscular arms around my body. He slowly stepped back, and I looked over to see another brawny-looking guy with spiked platinum blond hair standing over to the side. I caught his eyes and I saw him nod and mouthing "hello" my way. I nodded back too and suddenly felt Sean's arm around me once more.

"All mistakes aside, Dan here was telling me all about your wild college days," I heard Sean said from beside me. _Ah, so that's his name_. _He's pretty cute._ I looked from Dan to Sean and then back to Paige just in good time to see her eyes widen.

"You didn't!" Paige suddenly cried out. I felt confused and looked over to Dan and saw that he was slowly stepping back from where he once stood.

"Sorry, it slipped! I swear – " he got in before getting cut off by Sean.

"Paige, I thought we were best friends? How could you _not_ let me in on this story?" Sean said and began laughing.

"Okay, what's going on here? I feel a little left out now." I frowned, and they all turned to look at me with their undivided attention.

"It's nothing," she had barely said before Sean jumped in again.

"_Nothing_? Who are you trying to kid, Paige?" Sean teased her and starts laughing again. I watched their interaction and saw how she had glared at him. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Dan inching towards me slowly as the other two kept on with their bantering.

"We were at this party and I don't know how many drinks she had by the second hour, but by the time I've made my rounds and gotten back to her, she was _totally wasted_. You know how klutzy she can be when she gets drunk, right? Anyway, she was trying to show me her moonwalk when she suddenly fell down an entire flight of stairs and into the basement. It was hilarious! I swear, you could actually hear the thumps as she rolled down those steps. The entire room was quiet when she had hit the bottom but then unexpectedly it erupted in laughter and everybody was suddenly applauding for her. Oh my god, it was the most epic moment of our freshmen year!"

"Oh my god! Paige! You did that?" I managed to ask in-between my laughs. When I had finally stopped laughing, a feeling of melancholy rushed through me. _No, I hadn't ever gotten to know that Paige. _It made me sad to know I've missing out on seeing what kind of person Paige had turned out to be in college.

"Dan!" she yelled and placed her hands on her hips. It suddenly snapped me out of my thoughts as I watched Dan cowered beneath her glare. I joined the boys and laughed at the both of them. It was really nice to be able to laugh like this again. I haven't enjoyed myself like this in so long.

"I'm sorry, Paige." Dan apologized in-between laughs.

"Paige! How much did you have to drink that night? I mean, gee, I would've just slide down the arm of the stairs instead!" Sean joked. Paige buried her face and shook her head in her hands.

"Okay, can we just get all the laughs out and move on now? There's a basketball game waiting for us in the living room!" her voice were muffled in her hands, but it was still audible and I saw how her cheeks had reddened.

"How bad did it hurt? Did you bruise an arm or a leg? Oh my god! Did you get any scars? That'd be so sick!" Sean exclaimed excitedly. Paige had dropped her hands to her sides and walked over to the oven, as though she hadn't heard a word he said.

"Dude, it was crazy. She had to get nine stitches to the back of her head after that fall." Dan shared the details with us. I felt my heart twist in knots as I realized how seriously hurt she'd gotten. _Nine stitches?_ That was worse than…the time she'd gotten drugged by Jenna Marshall at her birthday party. Who had been there for her? Had it taken longer to heal? Was she in good hands and well taken care of back then?

"No way! Wait, Paige! Can I see?" Sean asked excitedly. _Would she let me see it as well?_

"_No_, you cannot see. Look, it wasn't entirely my fault for getting that intoxicated." she told Sean while looking at Dan. _I guess not._

"Okay, okay, fine." Dan said as he raised his arms into the air. "It's entirely _my fault_ for making you tag along to that party…and getting your ass _so_ drunk that you fell down an entire flight of stairs into the basement. There, happy?"

"Oh, and don't forget about the part where everybody turned around and started clapping for her." Sean went on to say. We all ended up laughing all over again. I slowly glanced over to Paige and saw her reaching into the oven for the lasagna. Maybe I was watching her for longer than I'd intended and zoned out, because Paige had suddenly appeared by my side and was sliding the plate of lasagna in front of me. I looked around and saw that the boys were gone. Maybe they had gone back to the living room to watch the basketball game.

"I'm sorry that you're going to be stuck with me and these two ruckuses tonight, Em." she said and then smiled apologetically. _Em_. I suddenly melted over how she still said my name so endearingly. I used to be so fond of the way she had said it. I think I still am. I smiled back at her and stood up, taking the lasagna with me as I walked towards the living room since she had said that was where they were earlier.

"There's no other place I'd rather be." _It was true_. Somehow…I had suddenly felt right at home again.

* * *

I watched with amusement as the boys arm-wrestled each other on the creamy carpet floor. The commercials were on and they were advertising a variety of household products, from laundry detergent to floor wipes. It was pretty boring. Well, I wish I wasn't that bored, so then I wouldn't let my mind wander to inappropriate things.

Paige and I had ended up sharing the couch while the boys lay claim to the floor. They had moved the coffee table to the side in order to make room for them to lie down and snack on baked kale chips. Sean was just munching off on them like crazy. Paige and I both had each taken a side of the couch. I was on the left and she took the right side. We lay stretched out on our sides, elbows resting on each of the armrests, and our legs lied side by side in the middle. Even with our knees bent, our legs were still long enough to go past the middle a bit. Every now and then when she moved, our bare legs would touch every time, and the skin-on-skin contact would make me want to die a little inside. As much as I had wanted to make up an excuse to leave, I felt myself enjoying the feeling way too much to find the will to run away.

I sighed as I refocused and saw Sean having the upper hand and possibly winning in the arm-wrestling match, but Dan was making him work hard for it. It appeared Dan was putting up a good fight too. He seemed like a nice guy. He was an easygoing, good-natured guy. If I could say so myself, I thought he was pretty funny at times too when he'd let loose. It was odd how he could remain so serious while being incredibly relaxed. It was possibly the opposite of Spence. She was always a ball of nerves and became extremely tensed when she was serious. I had no idea that there was a relaxed type of seriousness until I met Dan.

I felt her move once more across from me on the couch. One of her legs was touching mine again. I didn't know which one since I didn't dare to look. I counted the seconds and relished in the feeling, waiting for her to move her leg away from mine any second to come. I must've ended up counting sheep and lulling myself into sleep as I got lost in the feeling, because I suddenly jolted awake as I heard her laugh from the other side of the couch. My eyes quickly snapped open and I look over to see that Paige was laughing at the boys as they were both using both their hands in the little arm-wrestling match. Their hands were clasped over each other and Sean looked like he was constipated, whereas Dan's face was only slightly rosy. Paige cheered Dan on and I watched as her face lit up as she rooted for him. I smiled fondly over her cheery excitement and found myself missing her more than I ever had even with her sitting so closeby. How was it that we were sitting on this same couch, legs almost threatening to tangle together, but I felt like she was ten thousand miles apart from me? _I wanted to tell her how much I still love her._ How much I still thought of her almost every night before I went to bed. How much I find myself getting lost in thoughts of her when I'm alone. How much I imagined she was the water that surrounds me in the pool. _How close she still is to my heart. _I watched as the light of the sunset shined through the window blinds and cast a ray of light onto her from behind. Her auburn hair glowed beneath the sunray and her skin miraculously glistened in the evening light. It was a beautiful sight for me to have and to hold. It reminded me of times when she had sit on my window seat reading as I laid in-between her legs with my head resting against her chest. She always kept the window open when she read, and the wind would breathe light breezes into the room, softly blowing her hair into the air and I'd watch as they danced only a dance they knew with the wind and sunlight.

I didn't know how long I was staring, but I slightly jumped as Sean leaped onto his feet and proclaimed that he had to go help his parents assemble some things at the church. I watched as Paige carefully moved her legs over mine and set them onto the ground as she stood up to hug him and I heard her thanking him for coming over for dinner. He adorably patted her back and winked my way. I smiled and shook my head, suddenly remembering that it was him who was to blame for my unannounced arrival to Paige's place. I got onto my feet as well and went in to hug him after he had let go of Paige.

"_Thank you_." I whispered. I heard him chuckle as he pulled away. I looked to Paige and attempted to excuse myself as well, "I think that's my cue to leave too. Mom's probably wondering when I'll come home, since I've forgotten to leave her a note to tell her about my whereabouts." I hope that was a plausible excuse to leave. I watched as she nodded in understanding. "Let me just go put this plate in the sink before I go." I said and already started towards the kitchen before she could refuse. I walked over to the sink and turned on the faucet as I let the water run over the surface of the plate. Grabbing the sponge, I squirted some dishwashing soap onto the plate and then scrubbed it clean. I quickly rinsed the plate, turned off the faucet, and grabbed the towel to dry it before putting it back in the cabinet I knew by memory. Paige walked in almost with perfect timing as I closed the cabinet, and sat down at the chair near the kitchen countertops.

"You didn't have to do that." she said, looking almost as embarrassed as the shy Paige I once knew.

"It's alright. It's already done. I'm going to head out now. Let me just say goodbye to Dan." I said as I walked slowly over to the kitchen countertops to grab my keys and purse.

"He's gone up to shower. I'll pass on your words. Let me walk you out." she said but I shook my head to reject her offer.

"Just walk me to the door and that'll be fine." I said, trying to sound as cool and put together as I can. I walked towards the door and opened it as I slipped on my shoes. After I was done, I turned to face her, "I had a great time tonight… Thanks for…well, thank you for _this_."

"It's no big. Um…I know that you wanted to talk, but…can we do it some other time?" she asked. _Oh right. The talk._ I had forgotten all about it.

"I understand. Well…good night." I said. I didn't move. I wasn't sure why I hadn't move. Maybe I was just waiting for her to say something. Maybe I had sort-of wish she'd ask me to stay. I felt as though I was playing mind games with myself. She'd never ask that of me. It was only my wishful thinking.

"You too… Good night, and drive safe." she said. I don't know why, but I still stood frozen in place even though she had bid me goodnight. She hadn't moved either. I felt like I was getting lost as I stared into her eyes. The way they danced across my face before finally settling down onto mine. Her eyes softened, and her mouth agape, and with skin still glistening, only this time it was the moonlight that had caused her to glow in such an entrancing way. I hadn't noticed that I had raised my hand until I saw it in midair but I graciously caught myself before I had reached out to touch her face. Instead, I had waved her goodbye and immediately turned around to leave. Walking down the porch steps, I felt troubled and guilt-ridden, as if I was the one who had abandoned her and left her high and dry. But it wasn't me who'd done that. Her heart just wasn't in the right place I wanted and needed it to be. I wish I had the will to turn back around and tell her how I really feel…but I couldn't bring myself to do it right now. I continued on walking into the night, wondering if it was just as painful for her when she had walked away from me that day. _She'd made it look so easy to walk away ever since._

* * *

I ran my hand slowly over the ultra-suede upholstering of the sofa, trying to appreciate the velvety padded textile covering of the furniture. It was a beautiful piece that was set seamlessly among the intricate design of the dressing room. I looked around in awe as all the different colors and detailed patterns were woven together to create such a relaxed feel but with a hint of Luxe.

"This is a pretty pricey piece, you know?" Ezra's voice snapped me out of my little trance. I looked at him and smile, raising my brow a bit to question him about how he knew its value. It _had_ felt expensive beneath my touch.

"And how exactly do you know that?" I asked.

"My mother has a royal blue one at her _little humble abode_. I think we could call this one the _silver swirl Rico suave sofa_." he said in a mocking tone and awkwardly laughed afterwards. _Oh, Fitz._ I giggled at how those words came out in my head.

We were both sitting on the suave sofa as we waited for the girls to try on their millionth dresses. The girls and I had decided to go into the city to shop for dresses to wear to the Hastings' party. Spencer wasn't able to make it, and so Aria brought Ezra along. We arrived in Philly around 1 o'clock this after noon and had started browsing through stores after stores since then. It was already half past six in the evening and had gotten pretty dark outside. I had chosen a creamy-looking floral appliqué strapless dress earlier at this little boutique store we visited during the day. Hanna and Aria still hadn't found any that they were fully convinced to buy yet. Ezra and I had secretly agreed on the side that we'd start heading back to Rosewood by seven and would threaten to the leave the girls behind in the city if they chose not to comply. We were supposed to be back at six for dinner at my mom's but the girls kept on protesting, saying that it wasn't fair that I had found a dress and they didn't. I simply rolled my eyes at that ostensible reason, but Ezra had gone soft for Aria and since he was our ride into the city, I had conform to the majority votes to stay. _Damn democracy._ I let out a sigh and sent my mother a text to tell her that we'd be home for dinner at eight instead.

"Are you okay?" Ezra asked me. I looked over to him and saw that he had relaxed back into the sofa and rested his temple in his hand supported by his elbow on the armrest.

"Yeah, just a little tired. How's school? The kids giving you a hard time?" I asked to make conversation.

"It's the same. Not as many papers to grade since I'm only teaching one class this summer. They're actually a quiet bunch. I'm trying to count my blessings while I still can." he chuckled. I smiled at this and wondered if he had found the girls and I to be as disruptive when he had him as our English teacher back in high school. I had hoped not.

"That's great." I simply said and looked over to the ruffling draperies the girls were behind.

"I could see that sitting here is absolutely taking the edge off your frustration," he laughed. I turned back to give him a deserving glare. It only seemed to fuel his amusement and he continued laughing at me. Somehow, I had broken into a smile again and wondered how I wouldn't have gotten through the rest of the day without him. The girls were driving me insane by prolonging this shopping trip.

"No kidding," I joked back. I sighed for another time. It had been a long day. All I wanted to do was to go home, have dinner, and tuck myself into bed. We should've just stuck to small fashionable stores in Rosewood. Well, on second thought…I kind-of really like the dress I'd gotten. I smiled sheepishly at the thought. _Okay, fine, I suppose it was worth the trip here._

"How about you? How have you been?" I heard him ask. I thought about it for a moment. _How have I been? Great. Fantastic. Absolutely wonderful_. I laughed at the pretense of the words. If only my feelings would hold true to them.

"I'm okay," I decided to say. That would suffice for now.

"Is that all I get? An _okay_?" he asked.

"I'm sure Aria's shared some things with you." I said in return, smirking at his expression that showed he was taken off guard. He was stammering for a bit before he managed to speak coherently again.

"Would it be all right with you if I…_volunteer _my opinions about it?" he asked for permission to speak. I watched him closely and tried to discern any sign of pity or sorrow. When I saw none, I gave him a nod to go ahead and talk. He sat up straight and turned his body to face mine. Ezra fumbled with his thumbs for a bit before he seem collected enough to speak again. Judging by his expression, I knew he was going to jump right into the water.

"Trying to love someone when things have ended between you two…is like…going sailing, because you _love_ the ocean." He stopped and looked straight into my eyes to make sure I'd follow what he had said before continuing, "But now you're without a sail and in constant chaos. You don't know what to do because you _still love_ the ocean…" I thought about the words and had easily processed it in my mind. I understood what he was trying to say, yet that was until he uttered the next few words, "But staying out there could_ kill_ you." I unconsciously took an intake of air into my lungs and almost choked on it. I tried to swallow, but my throat felt dry and I heavily exhaled with the little strength I felt I had left. I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip, breathing laboriously through my nasal passage. "I know that you don't want to hear this right now, because maybe the girls have already tried uttering these words once before, but maybe it's time to retreat. Time to let go of the idea that the sail will ever come back so that you can set sailing once again. Maybe I don't see it and _you somehow can_, but how likely is it that the sail you've lost will come floating back to you? _The sail had left you behind_. It's time to swim back to shore in one piece, and come home to your friends and family. _Everybody is awaiting for your return_." I opened my eyes and found myself getting lost in his blue eyes.

"_What if I'm too far gone_? What _if_ I'm thousands of miles away from the shoreline?_ I can't find it in myself to swim back on my own." _I uttered.

"Yes, you can. Look into your heart and find hope." He paused before continuing, "_Hope anchors the soul_. It helps us find our way back when we've lost our way."

I nodded and then looked away. As though on cue, both of the girls had simultaneously pulled the curtains aside and stepped out in their handpicked dresses. I don't know how much time have gone by, but we had all shuffled into the car and were heading back home. Aria took the passenger seat while Hanna and I sat in the back. The girls have both dozed off and Ezra and I were the only ones awake. I saw that he was glancing back at me every now and then in the rearview mirror, probably checking to see if he had upset me in any kind of way.

"Stop fretting, Fitz. _I'm okay_." I assured him. I saw him sheepishly smile in the mirror before I turned to my left to look out the window. It was dark outside and all the city lights had dimly lit the highway. I looked up into the sky and saw that the stars were twinkling at me again tonight. It reminded me of how I was feeling. _How dark it had been inside of me_. _But there were tiny specks of light._ Without darkness, light wouldn't exist. For that reason, a certain darkness was needed to see the stars. So there it was: the reason why I had refused to replace the busted bulbs in the unlit room inside my heart. One day, if God will, to let me see the light of _hope_ to guide me home.

* * *

A ringing jolted me out of my sleep and I reached out and fumbled around the edge of the night table before the vibrating phone was caught in my hand. I accepted the call without even opening my eyes to see who the caller was because I was too tired.

"Hello…" I said groggily. I felt and saw the sunlight through my eyelids, but I really couldn't find the will to open them.

"Hey Em, are you alright? You don't sound too well," Samara said on the other side of the line.

"Yeah, no, I'm fine. Actually, I just woke up." I admitted and rested the back of my free hand across my forehead. I let out a small sigh and tried to sit up in bed. "What's up?" I said since she hadn't spoken after me.

"Oh, I was just calling to see if you were still free to hang out before the party today." I sensed the hesitancy in her tone. _What was that about_?

"Uh…well…" I bit my lower lip, trying to figure out a way to tell her about my plans with the girls before the party. "The girls wanted to hang out before the party. You're welcome to join if you want to." I finally said. _Not a good idea, Em. Not a good idea._

"_Oh_. I was hoping you were free… Well, I also want to apologize too. Something suddenly came up and I'm sorry to tell you this kind-of last minute-ish, but I can't go with you to the party this evening." she said.

"_Oh._" I simply mirrored her word to express my surprise. I opened my eyes and saw beams of light radiating through my room from outside the window.

"Yeah… I'm really sorry, but maybe we can hang out and spend some quality time together another day?" she asked with hope.

"Uh, sure. Another day's fine." I managed to squeak out. I bit my lip again and blinked my eyes a few times to readjust them to the powerful rays of light.

"Okay, cool." she said. I felt confused. Why was it so awkward between us now? What had I done? Or possibly…what was going on with her? I didn't want to pry so I just kept the inquiries to myself.

"Good." I said and kept it at that. I wanted to let out a heavy breath of my frustration, but we were still on the phone and I didn't want her to hear it.

"Um, I guess I'll talk to you later then?" she asked. I nodded, forgetting that she couldn't see me.

"Yeah, sounds great." I said and a few seconds later, I heard the click on the other side of the line. I finally let out a sigh of relief and slumped back in my bed. That went over well…but now I'm dateless. For some reason, I hadn't mind too much. I'm pretty used to being on my own for a while now. It didn't hurt that I was by myself once again.

_Well, my day is starting out quite wonderfully. _I chuckled a bit to myself and swung my legs to the side of the bed to stand up, stretching for a bit before I headed for the bathroom.

* * *

The girls, their dates, and I were all standing around a tall round table with our drinks as we all chatted and relaxed. I was quite surprised that Dan was here first of all, and secondly, how on earth had he managed to snatch up a Hastings that quick? It blew my mind that they were standing here in front of me, their arms laced together so evidently in front of all of us. Hanna and Aria had no idea who he was at first, but I did since I sort-of spent the day with him, Paige and Sean the other day. Was that why Spence and Paige were so close? Because Paige was the middleperson for these two?

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when I heard the doorbell ring. Spencer was about to go get it when Melissa walked by placing a hand on her shoulder to express that she'd get the door and continued walking towards it. We all watched to see who had arrived, and when the door swung open, I felt my breath catch in my throat.

Paige and Sean appeared to be exchanging words with Melissa before they stepped in through the front door. I watched as she walked with elegance and graced the party with her appearance. I didn't even realized my mouth was agape until I saw Paige placed her fingers under Sean's chin to lift it up. I self-consciously closed my mouth and wet my lips, before glancing around to see if anyone had noticed. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who had stared forthrightly at Paige. I watched as their eyes danced over the pair that had just arrived and looked over to see what had captivated their undivided attention. I almost dropped my glass of wine as I turned around to see Sean helping Paige take off her coat and put it on the coat stand. _Oh my god…_

The black asymmetric silk dress fitted her so perfectly, showing off such a modest amount of her skin. Her hair was in soft wavy curls, half-tied up and half down, and her eyes sparkled and shine through the light makeup she had on. My eyes traveled down her body appreciatively, and as they swept past her legs, I noticed that she was wearing black pumps to match with the dress wore tonight. _She looked like a completely different person. _So different from the Paige I used to know, the one who had worn loose t-shirts with vests and a nice pair of fitting jeans or wore suits to these kinds of occasion. She carried herself with so much elegance, which I had no idea had come from, that I felt like I couldn't even recognize her even though I had every part of her ingrained in my memories. _Who was this girl?_ And why is she making me feel more fluster and self-conscious than the girl I used to know? I leaned my weight onto the tall round table to try and steady myself. I couldn't think. I couldn't _stand_ for all I know. I felt my pulse throbbing and echoing inside my head, louder and louder as she walked further into the room. Suddenly she was heading in the other direction with Sean. I watched them interact, and slowly lifted up my glass of wine to my lips to take a sip. The alcohol swirled in my mouth and I swallowed it with ease as I felt a tinge of heat sweep through my body.

"Whoa Em, that's not water you're drinking, and the party's just getting started," Hanna teased me. I looked over to her and saw her smiling triumphantly.

"Really now? Says the girl came over to my birthday party _drunk_ during our senior year?" I threw back at her. "I think I'm fairing much better than you did." I added.

"_Ouch_ Em, why did you have to bring up my past? You're going to scare away Spencer's date!" she joked.

"Hey ladies, leave me out of this. As much as I'd like to be sandwiched between girls right now, I kind-of have a special date tonight that I want to impress." Dan said while gesturing to Spencer with his eyes and raising his hands up into the air. We all laughed, including Spencer, who I noticed had lean further into him. I smiled at the gesture and looked around the table, watching all the couples enjoying each other's companies. Although I hadn't felt left out the entire time, I guess I sort-of wish I had someone to exchange eye contacts with and lean into as well.

I glanced over to where Paige once was but I didn't see her there. My eyes roamed the room until I spotted the view of her back. I watched as she gracefully escaped the mass of people in the room and disappeared. I didn't understand why, but I felt an urge to go after her.

"I'll be back in a few," I said shortly before taking off without waiting for a response. I swerve past a few people who were in the way and walked as swiftly as my heels would allow me to before I followed the steps that she had taken earlier. I excused myself on several occasions and found myself at the back of the house. Looking around, I searched for her in vain. I turned over to the open glass doors to the backyard and wondered if she had taken a step outside for a breather. Well, if she did, _that _would be the Paige I know. She used to like slipping away from her parents' parties unnoticed. _I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try looking for her there. _

I walked past the framed glass doors and into the night. Unexpectedly, I found myself walking into a garden that appeared to be inspired by a fairy tale. There were lights _everywhere_. I'd been here for the past hour and haven't even noticed it. I continued to walk further into the garden, but still tried to gaze at the lights in awe. They were almost like stars in the sky, but in a whole different light. Suddenly, a white gazebo that was wrapped with lights, flowers, and candles came into view. I stopped in my path to stand back and stare at how unreal it had looked set up before me. _Is this real?_ I hadn't even notice that there was someone standing in it until the figure had moved into the light. That was when I had to catch my breath.

There she stood in all her glory, wondrously looking around herself and taking in the lights that set her skin aglow. I stood frozen in place as though mesmerized by all the beauty that was standing before me. _How was this real? _I don't know where I got the bit of courage to walk towards her, but I begin to stride down the path to the gazebo. She had her back to me once I had reached the gazebo, but I kept my distance and stood a few feet away in the darker area of the space between us.

"_You look beautiful tonight,"_ I mindlessly confessed. She quickly turned around in surprised and I felt her eyes on me.

"It's funny that you say that. You've never strike me as a person who'd hide and ambush someone in the dark until now," she said. _And you've never strike me as person with so much poise and charm._ It almost felt like I was under some sort of spell.

I decided to take a few steps forward and watched carefully as her eyes swept over my body. I suddenly stopped feeling so small beneath her gaze when I saw that she was just as transfixed by my appearance as I was with hers. I immediately felt relieved that I hadn't half-assed the act of dressing up and had done my hair into a loose side French braid bun. I didn't bother putting on a lot of makeup but I did use mascara. I watched as her eyes finally settle onto mine. _What was she thinking?_

"I wasn't hiding. I saw you earlier in the house but before I could get to you, you were already slipping away so I followed you back here." I explained.

"Oh…" she voiced her understanding with a hint of surprise. _This is it._ _It's now or never. _I decided to take a few more steps forward and then slowly walked into the gazebo, stopping right before her. We stood there, eyes still locked. I remembered those eyes. I had reminisced about them all the time when we were apart. I needed to keep in mind that she was intoxicated that night and might be upset that I didn't stop the both of us. I tried…but I didn't _want_ to stop. _It was like a dream_. I wished there was a way that I could make her understand that too. But what if she wanted to leave things at that? What if she wanted for everything to remain unchanged? I felt like I couldn't breathe thinking that she might cut me off for good. But I tried to fight it. I fought to stay calm. How had I stoop so low and not know my own strength to stop what we were doing? Guilt surged through me like water after the dam had burst.

"I want for us to talk about _it_." I finally said.

"_I know_." she responded. Paige had a look of anguish and concern written all over her face. Maybe my gut feeling had been right. She appeared really upset, but she was fidgeting with her fingers and looking away. That only ever happens when she was sad and nervous. I braced myself for what was about to come next.

"I didn't mean to hurt you back then." she started. "I mean, I knew I had hurt you when I told you I no longer wanted to be exclusive with you, but I had never meant for the hurt to carry out this long. If I knew…you were hurting this much, I would've just told you why I did what I did back then. I know we can't just go back and start over again to have a new ending, but I'm hoping I can start now and change the ending of this us." she paused again and watched me with caution in her eyes. _What was she talking about?_ "A few months before we graduate during senior year…" she began.

I listened without question. As each word poured out and the truth surfaced, my heart began to ache more than it ever had before. I don't know how long it had taken her to tell the story of her birthmother and her condition from the medical reports and psychological evaluations, but by the time she had finished, I honest-to-God wanted to come forward and hold her. _But I couldn't_. Internally, I was beating myself up for _even thinking_ that Paige would ever leave me for such an absurd reason. I should've known something was up. _I should've…_ Tears fell down my face and I realized that I had been silently crying. I turned my body away from her and looked away. I couldn't even _face_ her for all I know. I suddenly felt a hand on my left shoulder that was akin to a feather-like touch. _I_ should be the one comforting her. I began to lightly sob as we stood there with her hand never leaving me.

"_Don't cry_," she pleaded. I put my right hand on top of hers to pull it away from my left shoulder and I turned around. She didn't let go of my hand and I watched as she mirrored my painful expression. I wasn't sure who had made the move but I suddenly found myself in her arms and I held onto her tightly.

"_I love you_," I whispered into her ear. I noticed that the hand that was lightly rubbing my back to comfort me froze. I held my breath, wondering if I had said the wrong thing. But how could it be wrong? I do love her. _Was it wrong timing then?_ I don't know how many minutes had gone by before she had resumed to stroking my back again.

"_I know_." she acknowledged. I pulled away and looked into her eyes to see what she was thinking. I thought I had searched in vain, but then I found _love_. The love and adoration in her eyes that I've seen before and knew by heart. I slowly leaned in to kiss her when I suddenly felt her hands pushing against my shoulder. _"I can't."_ she said. I closed my eyes and bit my lip at the pain that her words had strike me.

"Why?" my voice cracked.

"I…I'm sorry, I can't do that. I _do_ love you, but not in the way that you want me to." she revealed. My lips quivered as a sob threatened to pour out.

"But I…_love you_." I countered. I stood there hopelessly and wished that some miracle would intervene and change her mind. "I don't care about whether you might develop schizophrenia or not. I just…I want_ you_. Can't you see that?" I opened my eyes and desperately tried to convey my emotions to her.

"Apparently, everybody else does_._" _Everybody else? What was she talking about?_ "I didn't tell you my story so that you'd forgive me and we can start over, Emily. I did it because I wanted you to have closure and move on. You're an amazing girl, and you'll meet someone that'll be perfect for you someday. _I'm not…I'm not that person_." I wrapped my arms around myself and took a few steps back. It was hard to stand here and be rejected by her for the third time in my life. _I couldn't believe her_. It was only a week ago that we shared an intimate moment together in her car. Why was she doing this to me?

"_Why are you doing this to me_?" I asked angrily. Why does she keep on stringing me along and then surprise me with these rude awakenings? I didn't want it to be like a dream that just comes and goes, and then is forgotten of.

"Emily, look…it doesn't have to be _this way_. We can still be _friends_. Please don't – "

"_I can feel you forgetting me, Paige_." I felt the stung in my chest as I said it. "I just… _It hurts_. I don't want to be forgotten already." I said, vaguely referencing to the night in her car.

"Emily…I _never_ stopped loving you. I just…stopped showing it. It doesn't mean that I'm forgetting you. I want you to stop hurting. _It pains me to see you like this_." her voice had dropped to a whisper.

"I can't promise you anything." I uttered.

"Then promise me you'll _try_." she said and kept me locked in her gaze. "_Promise me_ you'll try to be happy."

"Why do you care? You don't even want me any more. I don't think I'm much better off than an old used furniture right now." I spat out.

"_Don't say that._ I care because _I love you_. You _know_ that. You don't smile much any more Emily…but when you do, _I just want to make you_ _happy_. That's why I care." My heart began to flutter at the words she said. "I'm sorry Emily…I just want to be friends and if that's not what you want, I'll respect you and your decision." she looked at me with everything that was pure and true about her. I fought against the urge to convince her that we couldn't be friends, because it had always been all or nothing for me. How could we go back to being friends? I just couldn't imagine it at all. But then I reconsidered what she had shared with me earlier, and I felt weaken by the fact that she would have to be on her own again if I chose not to be. I didn't want her to feel that she couldn't see a person who she can rely on in me. I suddenly felt so selfish for putting my wants over her needs. She had been alone when she needed me the most, and now that I had a chance to redeem myself, I couldn't understand why it was so hard for me to focus on what she needed first. _She had asked for a friend in me._

"Is that what you need right now? A friend?" I tentatively asked. She nodded and cautiously took one step towards me.

"What I need _right now_ is a friend." she said it out loud. I tried to reason with myself. Finding any bit of strength I had left to tell her what she needed to hear.

"Then it's official. _We're friends."_ I finally said.

"That makes me _happy_." she smiled.

I was about to tell her that I was glad it had made her happy, but suddenly music started booming through the backyard near the entryway back into the house. Paige and I quickly glanced over towards the house and saw that there had been a dance floor set right outside the back doors. I hadn't noticed until now because of the stage lights that had lit up the dance floor. I didn't see those either because they were practically invisible in the dark. The younger crowd started piling out onto the dance floor as the unfamiliar music mix transitioned to a familiar song I knew. "Hollywood" by Daniel Powter. I watched as the boys tried to rock their entire body to the beat and the girls sensually swayed to the rhythm of the song. Ezra and Aria swayed and rocked together quite clumsily but still look like they were having a really good time, while Hanna danced all around Caleb and tried to get him to do the shimmy with her. On the other hand, Spencer and Dan looked a little lost in each other, softly swaying to the music. And Sean… _Well_…since I had his date over here, he was happily dancing all by himself. I watched as he rocked his head to the beats of the drum and pretended to play an imaginary air guitar. I laughed at Sean and suddenly felt like my spirits had suddenly been lifted up again. It was definitely an interesting sight to see.

"Wow, the Hastings really knows how to throw a party." Paige laughed.

"I don't know about that… I have a feeling it wasn't the handiwork of a Hastings." I remarked.

"Well, um, would you like to go…_dance_?" she tentatively asked. I smiled and reached out for her hand.

"_I'd love to_." Paige stretched out her arm and took my hand. We walked over to our friends and joined them on the dance floor. We all laughed and danced silly until the night had end. Just for tonight, I decided I didn't feel the need to fret over my new-formed friendship with Paige. It was just me and a bunch of friends partying tonight. Nothing else mattered. I was having a good time. _I was happy_. This was what true happiness felt like. To be surrounded by the people you love and they loved you back. I didn't have a care in the world for what tomorrow brings. I just wanted to enjoy tonight. _To enjoy this perfect moment while it lasted._


	17. Chapter 17

**_Author's Note:_ Thank you for all the recent favorites and follows, folks! Also to the reviewers, you guys are AWESOME. ;) You all continue to inspire me to write and I adore all the lengthy reviews you've written for this story. I will always be grateful for all of you and remember these fanfic writing days someday when I'm older and looking back on my life. **

**Special thanks to BokononCradle, Rain'sMistress, and Del for their contribution to this chapter. This one is dedicated to you three. ;) **

**Have an amazing day everybody! Cheers! **

**BokononCradle: **Hahaahahaha! The beginning of your review made me laugh. I apologize but I wasn't intentionally teasing you folks. I enjoy the tension is definitely something… Thank you for reading and reviewing! AND for playing my pretty little game. Look out for your line. It's italicized. ;) Thank you for contributing to BIF and being so kind to support this story. You're a trooper! Is there a name I can address you by the next time you review? Hope you have a wonderful day ahead! :)

**Rain'sMistress: **I'm kind-of glad that they're friends too. We'll see where things go from there. It took me a while trying to make Ezra…sound like Ezra. Hahahaha I figured since he's an English teacher…might as well play with words when it came to his character. I feel like the chemistry between their characters is very intriguing. I remember when he had tutored Emily at the café and it had seemed so…uncomfortable to watch. I wanted their characters to really bond in the previous chapter. I like playing around with unusual pairings. :) Your favorite line was _something_. Just a heads up, it's in this chapter and it's italicized. ;) Thanks for playing the game, Teddy! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Best, bunny.

**Paily lover: **Hello Jamie! :) I don't know what to say… I made you *that* sad? :/ Oh man, you're going to love this chapter. hahahaha Did you really ended up crying? How is that even possible? I didn't think it was going to be that sad to read. Awe, it's so sweet to hear that you've missed me. Thank you. :) To answer your personal question, I am halfway through my second year in college, although my coursework says otherwise (I would be considered a third year student). What about you? I wished you had an account on here so that we can converse. Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please have a nice day! :)

**Emsy:** Incredibly sad? Yeah…but once you hit rock bottom there's nowhere to go from there but up, right? Thank you for reading and reviewing! You have such kind words to say and I thank you for it. :) I'm kind-of glad that I evoked such a strong reaction from you. That means that you're engaged in the story! :) I hope that you enjoy this chapter just as much as you do with the previous ones. Please have a wonderful day!

**MindFullofStories:** Lil, I remembered when you first reviewed and mentioned what a cruel AU world BIF was and I had thought I was writing it all wrong. Haahaha But now I can see that you meant that in a good way. I don't understand why everybody wants to sob because of the last chapter. I'm glad you're going to stick through all the storms and ups and downs of this story. It's so wonderful to have your support on this journey. I love all of the pairings, even the platonic ones like Paige/Sean and Emily/Ezra. I'm glad that you enjoy "Dencer". ;) I hope that you enjoy this chapter as well! Please have a good day!

**Del:** Hey Delphine! :) You should get an account on here! I'm always so thankful for your kind remarks. They inspire me to keep on writing and stick to the writing style that you enjoy. I remember starting out with a very different writing style and when it had gotten to chapter 8, you started rooting for the writing style that you liked. ;) By the way, just giving you a heads up, I used your line in this chapter. It's italicized so watch out for it. I kind-of adjusted it a little, but it should be recognizable. ;) Thank you for participating in my little game and contributing to BIF. I hope this chapter will charm you as well. Please have a wonderful day! :)

**Jamscottroc54: **So…I will be expecting another "short" from you after you finish reading this chapter. ;) hehehe I can't wait! I adore how you're so forthright and open about having pervy thoughts. It is always cracking me up to read your reviews. You are threatening the lives of all my characters, so I don't feel all that bad that you're dying over *there*. Hhahahahaha I'm just kidding, Jamillah! This chapter is nothing close to perfect and amazing, but I hope that you like it anyway. I feel like there will be some parts I'm sure you'll love. ;) I'll be waiting for your update.

**Hipnos7777:** Hi Anna! So nice to hear from you again. :) I'm glad that you're very understanding of the pace of the story. It really wouldn't make for an adequate story to read if I skipped right to make-up sex, right? When I was writing Ezra's line, I had wanted him to use more figurative language and narrate how I wish someone would've explained to me when I was going through a heartbreak. I liked Samara's character with the same reasons that you do. Wow, I feel like you really do understand these characters from how I'm writing them. I feel so good! :) Thank you for coming back to read and review. It means so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as the previous ones. Please have a good day! :)

**Mamoreck:** Your English is pretty darn good for a foreigner. ;) I'm so flattered that you consider me to be one of your favorite writers. It's an honor, really. :) I like drama too but usually I never pay attention to the fact that I'M the one creating the drama. Hahahahha Sometimes the things I read off of BIF makes me laugh as I realize how overly dramatic I'm being, but it speaks out for all these characters and really expresses their true thoughts and feelings. We can definitely keep in touch! I'd love to have a French buddy. May I know your name so I can address you by it the next time you review? Just PM me anytime and I'll respond. :) Or if I don't hear from you by the time I finish the next chapter, I will hopefully get around to contacting you myself. ;) Have a wonderful day!

**Sazar:** I instantly smiled the moment I began to read your review. It's so sweet how you've told that story of you going mad when your phone died. It's utterly adorable. ;) Darn, I wish I had a full first name to address you by. I will call you Sazar if you like though. :) Thank you for always coming back and reassuring me that this story isn't going down the gutter. It's really so nice to hear from you. YOU continue to amaze and inspire me with your kind words. You are one of the reasons why this story is still under way. I do hope that you enjoy this chapter. Please have a wonderful day! :)

**Nae10:** Hey girl! I don't know whether to be happy or sad either. I totally understand the feeling. Well, here's Paige's POV and I hope you'll like this chapter. I feel like the writing style kind-of changed in this one but I don't know. I can't wait to hear back from you to see what you think of it. I love writing from two different characters' POVs too. I feel like it gives the readers a greater insight of the story. Thank you for coming back to read and review! Hope you have a good day! :)

**TheGreenEyedRioN:** Awwwwe, why do you have to be so sweet? ;) I hope you're not just saying that to tease me because I feel really humbled that you think I'm your favorite Paily writer. I mean, there are a TON of really great Paily writers on here that I really respect and admire. I'm glad you weren't completely annoyed by the fact that I pushed the characters further and beyond their limits, and have them going back to a platonic relationship. So glad it all worked out! :) I really like playing with the characters but still being able to stick to their canon a bit. Have you finished watching the PLL episodes yet? I'm still waiting for that collab story to happen for us! ;D Thank you for coming back to read and review! Please have an enjoyable day, alright?

**Pokiepup:** Aw! Michelle! How old did you turn? Haven't heard from you since that last review and I thought that Life has consumed all of your time. When are you going to update your story? I can't wait to read it again. I've been falling behind on my updates too because of how busy everything is with school and other personal business. Hopefully everything's alright with you. Thank you for coming back to read and review! It will always mean so much and you know why. ;) Please have a good day!

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Paige's POV**

I felt myself completely unraveling beneath her gaze. My mouth had gone dry from coming up with how to say the words I had wanted to say. I slowly gulped and prayed that my salivary glands would start functioning again._ Get it together, Paige._ I breathed out raggedly and watched as she continued to stare at me without any regards, but the increased pressure to form a coherent speech had me turning away from her in desperation to find the right words to say.

"_I didn't mean to hurt you back then_." I began. I turned back around and look her right in the eyes to the best of my ability, "I mean…I knew I had hurt you when I told you I no longer wanted to be exclusive, but I had never meant for the hurt to carry out this long. If I knew…you were hurting this much, I would've just told you why I did what I did back then. I know we can't just go back and start over again to have a new ending, but I'm hoping I can start now and change the ending of this for us." I stopped and wonder how I should begin to tell the story. "_A few months before we graduated during senior year_…" I heard myself trailed off.

The words had somehow poured out effortlessly. As the confession flowed out on its own, I watched her patiently ingest the news that had once overwhelmed me for a long period of time. It was hard to see how she was coping with this information. It made me sweat a little even though I had recounted the story a few times. _It was never easy. But it had gotten a little less harder each time._ Her face had wrinkled more times than I can count, and a part of me wished that I never had to burden her with this lowdown. I had been doing just fine keeping that part of my life to myself.

My heart ached for her as I watched the tears stream down her face. I wanted so badly to reach out and comfort her, but _I…couldn't_. I silently watched as she fell apart before me. It was hurting me to see her like this, and it suddenly reminded me of why I had fell in love with her in the first place. _Emily loved so hard_. She poured out her heart into everything she touches and was the most compassionate human being I've ever met. Every gesture, every word, and every time she told me she loved me with her eyes… That was _the art of love_. It was the most beautiful form of love I've ever gotten to know. It was this part of her that had kept my heart completely from the moment I fell in love with her.

Yet here I stand…in disbelief that she had continued to love me the way she did. It wasn't an every day thing when someone just accepted you wholly as they do. I had known that her love had made my world go round. I just hadn't seen that…it could also stop my world from spinning. How her love could take my breath away and stopped an illusion like _time_, which had haunt me for years on end. I had thought I'd never get the chance to get to know a love like hers again. But here I stand. _With her suddenly in my arms._

"_I love you_," I heard her whisper into my ear. I froze as the words escaped her, but she continued to hold onto me tightly. How I had imagined for the words to mean in my head could not compare to the way that they had form upon her lips. The way she had said _love_. It was all I could do not to wreck all of my effort these past years. I didn't know what to think. Lord help me, I didn't even know what to say. _Who am I kidding?_ I could've easily said that I still love her just as much as I did when time had began. I could tell her that I've spent many sleepless nights wishing she were lying right beside me when I had missed her so much. I could pick up all of these broken pieces and mend them back together with all the love that I had to give. _But…_

"_I know_." I heard myself say. I blinked back the tears that threatened to escape. _I have to stay strong. I have to get through this. _

She pulled away from me almost too quickly for my liking, but I got lost in her the moment our eyes had connected. I watched as she sensually wet her lips, and I almost felt my walls nearing breakdown. _Almost_. She kept staring into my eyes, looking through me with an inconsiderable amount of passion I'd never seen before, and it took my breath away as I wondered why a girl_ this_ perfect and beautiful had fallen in love with me. I was entirely undeserving of her love. _That,_ I had known so perfectly well. The feeling had resonated with so many different memories until it had stopped at one when I caught sight of the silver-plated tiny anchor earrings out of the corner of my eyes. _I've seen those before._ _She had been wearing them in my dream. _All of a sudden, every little detail of _that dream_ came rushing back remorselessly. Soft engaging lips. Brown eyes filled with utter passion. Dark wavy tresses that smelled of lavender. Uneven heavy breathing. Hips sensually grinding. Soft whimpers. Guttural moans. How I'd bitten down on the barely noticeable birthmark at the nape of her neck to hold back my urge to cry out in pleasure. The sensation of her body shaking atop mine as she fell into me. I had soothed her as she fell asleep, resting one hand on her back and the other brushing back her hair as she laid her head on my shoulder. _Silver-plated tiny anchor earrings_. I'd seen them when I had moved a wisp of her hair away. _Oh my god… We…in my car? That morning I woke up in the passenger seat… Oh my god. It wasn't a dream! Emily and I…_ I snapped out of the flashbacks as I saw her leaning in closer. I fought every urge to give in and bit back my frustration as I suddenly realized _what_ she had wanted to talk about. It had taken every ounce of strength I had left to put my hands on her shoulders to hold her back. Almost too soon, I watched as she broke right in front of my eyes, and I felt my heart wanting stop beating. _I'm so sorry. _I wanted to say it aloud, but I couldn't do it. It suddenly dawned on me why her mother and Spencer had told me that Emily's been pushed near her breaking point. _I did this. _I began to realize._ I caused this._

"_I can't_." I had let out. _I can't do this to you anymore._ Emily shut her eyes almost immediately and I can only helplessly stand and stare as I watch her teeth sink deeply into her bottom lip. I wanted to lift my hands up to her face and tell her to stop or else lips would bleed, _but I didn't_. The next words did nothing to remove the helpless feeling I felt, as I stood unmoving in front of her.

"_Why_?" The word had come out so broken. I wanted to take back the words I said, but I knew that I couldn't. _I shouldn't_. My breath shook and I tried to regain control over my breathing.

"I…_I'm sorry_, I can't do that. I _do_ love you, but not in the way that you want me to." I lied. _I love you so much that it hurts_. She looked like she was about to cry and I felt immensely guilt-ridden from the hurt I was causing her.

"But I…_love you_." she said again. I didn't know what I should be saying. How could I convince her of something even I didn't even believe in? "I don't care about whether you might develop schizophrenia or not. I just…I want_ you_. _Can't you see that_?" I felt almost as if she had looked right through me as I heard the desperation in her voice. I wanted to break down and cry too. I had wanted for her fall into my arms again and let me comfort her. But why was she so blindly choosing a path of pain and sorrow? Why can't she see that I didn't want her to feel this way? I couldn't hide from the desperation I saw in her eyes. I wish I could just turn away and leave, but I knew I had to set this straight with every little bit of strength I had left.

"Apparently, everybody else does_._" I stalled, while trying to muster up the words I needed to say next. "I didn't tell you my story so that you'd forgive me and we can start over, Emily." I looked straight into her eyes and tried not to choke on the words as I utter a truth even I didn't want to hear, "I did it because I wanted you to have closure and move on. You're an amazing girl, and you'll meet someone that'll be perfect for you someday. I'm not_…I'm not that person_." She looked completely taken aback and stepped away from me. Seeing her wrap herself in her own arms…I felt entirely inhumane_. Oh Em_… I wanted to walk towards her and take her into my arms, but I knew that I couldn't. I can't do that if I wanted to do this right. How many times _I couldn't_ do what I wanted to do… _How much more pain can you inflict on the both of us, Paige? _

"_Why are you doing this to me_?" she asked bitterly. I hadn't seen that coming. Her voice laced with menace was something I had never wanted to hear. It had hurt more than I thought it would. I started to remember the last two years and how I'd spent it thinking about how different I wished things could've been. How I was wishing that someday she'd stop hating me for what I did. That could change. That could change _now._

"Emily, look…it doesn't have to be _this way_. We can still be _friends_. Please don't – " I begged.

"I can feel you forgetting me, Paige." _Forget you? What? How can you even think of something like that?_ "I just… _It hurts_. I don't want to be forgotten already." she went on. How could she even think that? _How could I ever forget?_ I needed to clarify that to her. _I'll never forget. _

"Emily…I _never_ stopped loving you. I just…stopped showing it. It doesn't mean that I'm forgetting you. I want you to stop hurting. _It pains me to see you like this_." Don't be like this. Don't…close your arms to love. _Please._ Keep your arms open to love. Or else you'll just be left holding yourself. I had learned that lesson the hard way.

"I can't promise you anything." she began to speak rather more calmly.

"Then promise me you'll _try_." I asked of her. "_Promise me_ you'll try to be happy." I felt selfish for asking so much of her when I had inflicted so much pain upon her. I needed to her to tell me she'd try. The Emily Fields I knew lived her life bind by her words and she kept to them. I needed to hear her say it to be sure.

"_Why do you care? _You don't even _want_ me any more. I don't think I'm much better off than an old used furniture right now." she fumed. I felt my fists clenched tight and I tried not to show too much of my frustration. _How can she even think that? _

"_Don't say that._ I care because _I love you_. You _know_ that." Does she? Have I placed so much distance between us that she can't see it no more? "You don't smile much any more Emily…but when you do, _I just want to make you_ _happy_. That's why I care." _I just want to make you happy_. The words repeated in my head. I suddenly remembered not to get too emotional and pulled back a bit, "I'm sorry Emily…I just want to be friends and if that's not what you want, I'll respect you and your decision." I looked at her patiently and tried my best to look put together and in control of the situation. I felt like a mess. My heart was all over the place. My brain can't seem to form the right words. But my spirit was here with her. What if she didn't want _anything_ to do with me? I can't lose her again. I was at a crossroad. Do I tell her how I really feel? But that would jeopardize everything. I struggled and fight against myself in this game of my mind and heart playing tug-of-war. _Why play the game if it's easy_. But this wasn't a game...and the saddest truth was…Emily and I weren't going to be the endgame. That hurts. To even think about it.

"Is that what you need right now? A friend?" she suddenly asked_. She's considering it_. I tried not to look too hopeful and nodded. Slowly, I began to take one step towards her.

"What _I need_ right now is a friend." I tried to sound as convincing as I can. It was a few moments before Emily had spoken again.

"Then it's official. _We're friends."_ she said. I finally let out a sigh of relief.

"That makes me _happy_." I forced a smile. Emily and I were caught in a silent moment. I looked at her, she looked at me, and our surroundings came back into view. The lights caused her skin to glow so enchantingly, and all at once, I took in the romantic ambiance that the candlelight created around us. She was so beautiful…but my heart broke as I remembered that I couldn't take her back. This was a different kind of way to love someone. A love I've known so well before. A love that does not claim possession, for the heart knows that by merely loving a person, that was enough. I _do_ want her heart…but she needs it more than I do. She needs to keep her heart to love another human being. She needs it to find her _happily ever after_. I felt like I was doing the right thing. I felt…selfishly selfless.

Without warning, music began to blare through the Hastings' backyard. I immediately turned my head to where I thought the booming sound was coming from and saw a dance floor lit up by stage lights right outside the back entrance of the house. People started walking over to the dance floor and began moving and swaying their bodies to the beat of the music. I laughed as I recognized the many familiar faces of Rosewood High School alumni in the small crowd that was forming on the dance floor. It suddenly felt like prom all over again.

"Wow, the Hastings really knows how to throw a party." I joked.

"I don't know about that… I have a feeling it wasn't the handiwork of a Hastings." I heard her say. I looked back at her and saw how relaxed she was now. It was almost as if our conversation had never taken place. Taking a chance, I decided to make a bold move.

"Well, um, would you like to go…_dance_?" I carefully asked. Her face lit up and she smiled, before stretching out her hand towards mine.

"_I'd love to_." she said. I reached for her hand and led the way over to the dance floor. By the time we had reached the crowd, the music had changed once again and it was to an up-tempo track. I didn't know the song, but apparently the four best girlfriends did because I stared as Emily belted out to the song with the girls as they all danced in a small group. Emily looked _happy_. Even though I couldn't hear her voice over the loud music, I knew she'd sound beautiful nonetheless. Suddenly, I found myself being circled by the boys and they danced around me as I stood in the middle. Realizing I hadn't even moved an inch since we've gotten on the dance floor, I threw my hands up into the air and swayed to the rhythm and got lost in the music as the girls' dates and mine danced around me. Time passed rather quickly with all the fast songs that were played. When a slow song finally came on, I decided to slip away and go back into the house. As I turned in the direction of the house, I felt a body crash into mine and I quickly held my stance to not fall over and had a firm hold on the individual's waist. Looking up, I found myself staring into her dark brown eyes. The reflection of the lights flickered in her brown orbs almost made it seemed like her eyes were sparkling against the background of the dark night. _Like stars._

She smiled abashedly and I watch as her gaze dropped down to the hands that were now holding her middle. I was about to retract my hands when she stepped further into my hold and wrapped her arms around my neck. I caught her gaze once more, and she began to lean forward. I froze and held my breath, not knowing what to do next. "_Emily_…" I manage to utter. I felt her soft lips against my right ear and it took every bit of strength I had not to act irrationally. My heart was beating too fast. My breathing became uneven.

"Just…one…last…dance." she whispered. I swallowed hard and nodded, too afraid my voice would crack if I spoke. We began swaying to Lady Antebellum's "Dancing Away With My Heart" and I got lost in a world with just the two of us. She rested her temple against mine and almost every part of our body was touching as we danced. I felt my heart throbbing and beating faster and feared my hands would dampen her dress from all the perspiration my body was producing. My hands clenched into fists as they rested gently against her waistline. I'm guessing she must've felt how tensed I was, because she suddenly pull back but still kept her arms still remain encircled around my neck, and she stared at me more openly than I had dared to even look at her. "_Don't look away_." she said. Mustering up all the willpower I had, I turned back to look at her. She was gazing at me as if she was consumed by me entirely. I looked back at her with incredulity, and let out a timid laugh.

"You're really something tonight, Fields." I teased, trying to lessen the tension between us but it wasn't working at all. She looked at me in surprise, her eyes widening a bit and her lips curving into a small smile.

"I'm sorry…for the way I acted earlier. I…I've been angry for a long time. Then you go off saying everything I didn't wanted to hear and…well, I just let it all out." she confessed.

"It's my fault. I'm the one who's supposed to apologize. I didn't think at the time and – "

"It's okay, Paige, really. I…" she trailed off. She looked away and I saw her bite her bottom lip, wearing that thoughtful expression whenever she felt torn between trying to tell me something and consciously holding herself back from letting the words slip.

"You can tell me anything, you know? _We're friends_." I said. She looked back at me immediately, and I saw a flash of hurt appear in her eyes before it quickly went away.

"I know." she said and held me closer to her, arms wrapping a little more tightly around my neck. I unclenched my fists and let my hands travel to her lower back and rested them there. She leaned into me and laid her head on my shoulder as we continued to softly sway to the music.

_I haven't seen you in ages…_

_Sometimes I find myself,_

_Wondering where you are._

_For me you'll always be eighteen…_

_And beautiful…_

_And dancing away with my heart…_

A sudden knock at the door jolted me awake from my daydream. I had my legs kicked up on the study desk and I was still biting onto the end of the pencil in my armchair. I started to remember that I had been studying for my business law quiz. Looking around my bedroom, I sigh as I realized I've gotten lost in the memories of that night once again. I looked over at the old radio sitting on the corner of my night table, as I finally understood why I had been drawn to that specific memory.

_For me you'll always be eighteen…_

_And beautiful…_

_And dancing away with my heart…_

_Na na na na…_

_Na na na na…_

_Na na na na…_

_Away with my heart…_

I walked over and turned off the radio to stop the music, trying to think more clearly and shake off the mixed feelings I had of that night. I headed over to my bedroom door and open it. Opening the door, I was completely unprepared for the sight that appeared before me. My jaw dropped slightly and my eyes took in her wet hair and her towel-wrapped body. The towel had barely came down to mid-thigh, and her bare legs, arms, and shoulders were uncovered to show her light tanned skin. I gulped and realized that I had been staring for too long. I looked up to see a satisfied grin upon her lips. _Caught red-handed by your roommate. Way to go, McCullers._

"Can I help you?" I tentatively asked. My mind began to wander again as I spoke and I tried my best to censor my thoughts while she was still here. It wasn't helping that she was trying to dry her wet hair with another towel in her hand. Every time she moved to dry her hair, water would trickle down her skin and down the crevice of her… _Oh my Lord…_

"Yeah…I was wondering if you had any pain relieving cream? My muscles are aching a bit from this morning's practice." she revealed. I felt my brows begin to knot in concern and all other thoughts flew out the window as I turned around and went to open my dresser and reach for the Capsaicin cream at the top. Once I had found it, I quickly grabbed it and walked back over to the door.

"Here you go," I said as I handed over the small bottle of pain relieving cream to her.

"Thanks." she smiled before turning around and leave.

"Hey _Em_," I called out. She stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned her head around.

"Yeah?" she asked. I bit my lip at the sight but tried to push all sexual thoughts aside.

"Take it easy, okay? Don't push yourself too hard and hurt yourself." I added my concern.

"Don't worry. It's just a small case of muscle aches. Nothing _this_ can't fix," she said as she waved up the bottle of pain relieving cream I just gave her. She turned around and continued walking to her room as I folded my arms across my chest and leaned against my bedroom's doorframe. I shook my head in disbelief that the girl had felt so comfortable walking around naked…well, covered in only a towel. I knew I was ogling at her figure from the back view, but I finally retreated back into my room after she had closed her bedroom door.

I let out a sigh of frustration. This wasn't easy. Nope. It wasn't at all. You can erase someone from your mind. Getting them out of your heart was another thing. I looked over at the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was already half past seven in the evening. I really needed to go for a run. Walking over to my closet, I reached for my U Penn. sweater and running shorts. After changing into my running attire and putting on a pair of matching socks, I went over to my study desk and switched off the lamp. I grabbed my keys and cellphone, and headed out of my bedroom. Turning to my right down the hallway, I walked to the shoe shelf and grabbed my running shoes. As I was tying my shoelaces, I heard the jingle of keys at the door. The front door to the apartment flung wide open and I looked up to see Dan, Sammie, and Spencer each holding two paper bags of what appeared to be our groceries as they walked in.

"Wow, you _do_ realize that there are only four of us, right?" I asked in disbelief.

"Uh, hello! Have you _not_ realized that none of us likes to go grocery shopping? We got to buy things in bulks to save us more trips, dear." Sammie simply replied.

"Makes sense," I mumbled as I had a hair tie trapped between my lips as I tried to bunch my hair together to tie it up.

"Where are you going?" Spencer asked when she notice that I had on my running shoes and looked all ready to go out.

"Running." I said before standing up and helping them take out the items in the bags and setting them onto the kitchen counter.

"It's dark outside, Paige." Dan voiced his concern.

"I know, and I brought my cell with me just in case." I said as I showed him my phone. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Emily coming into the kitchen now wearing a grey flowing tank top and pajama pants. _Right. Got to go_. I was about to turn and leave when I felt a hand on my arm. I looked up to see that it was Emily. Suddenly, I felt my skin catch fire by her touch and the heat burned through me like a wildfire.

"Where are you going?" Emily asked me.

"A short run." I smiled and then walked towards the table for my keys. I turned around and said, "Can I count on somebody being here when I come back?"

"Yeah, we'll be here." Sammie answered for the four of them. I left my keys untouched on the table and walked towards the front door.

"Can someone come lock the door?" I asked on my way out. Spencer and Emily both walked over at the same time, and I smiled at them before I left, not caring who closed the door.

Twenty minutes later, I found my feet pounding the pavement with a little bit of difficulty as I began to run up the slope's incline. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathing in oxygen and breathing out carbon dioxide. Breathe in, and out. I focused on my breathing to get up the hill as quickly as I can. I push away the thoughts of everything else. I did my best to not succumbed to the feverish temptation of defeat that was trying to reach out to every part of my body. I closed my eyes for a few seconds to take everything in. The energy I had to exert to move my body. The way I was running swift through air. The reason why I was here. The frustrating thoughts that had spurred me into action. I felt my legs burn and I pushed harder and ran with all the energy that I was worth. I opened my eyes and did what I've been trained to do in the last two months. Be at one with my mind. Be at one with my body. Be at one with my spirit.

I wasn't at one with the water. Getting back into the pool with Emily around wasn't easy. Coach had noticed that my swim strokes were a bit off and told me that even though I had the right form, I wasn't completely focused enough. I could barely concentrate with Emily around. How was I supposed to keep my mind balanced with my body and spirit in the pool when she was swimming in the lane right next to mine? Why was it that I was having a harder time adjusting to having her around? She glided through the water so graciously and swiftly, whereas I probably swam uncoordinatedly like a baby seal. It was unbelievable that she was beating all of her personal best time almost every week. I've been swimming here for the past two years, and there she comes in and just effortlessly knock out almost all of my best times. It wasn't that I was losing my confidence in the pool, but I was more thrown off by everything about her. I just didn't understand how…she was dealing with this whole new living arrangement and the situation with swimming on the same team so well. After that night at the Hastings' anniversary party, she had taken initiatives to make plans with me and was adamant to hang out more as friends. It had really helped that Hanna, Aria, and Spencer would come along too. Suddenly, time was passing by so fast and I don't know how it had all happened but when Sammie came back to Rosewood a month after she'd left, she and Spencer somehow came up with this brilliant plan for the four of us to become roommates for this school year. Of course, I politely obliged, but I was counting on Emily to beat a hasty retreat. She surprised us all and happily agreed to the idea, and Spencer had found our little cozy apartment with the help of her sister. It had shaken me completely and my life has been spiraling in so many different directions in the short amount of time that she's been here at U Penn. It was like her presence upset the balance of my life at U Penn.

It had been two months. My times in the pool had recently become consistent but I was having a hard time beating my personal best. Just the thought of it fueled my frustration. I began to sprint up the last of the two-mile incline with steady pace. My lungs were burning and my legs desperately wanted to give way to the pain. I kept at it until I finally reached the top of the hill. Slowing down, I lightly jogged towards the bench that was perched near the edge of the hillside. When I finally got there, I slowed down to a walk and sat down, trying to keep my breathing steady and even. I looked down at the bottom of the foothills, watching as the city lights illuminated the lower ground before me. The stillness of the night was incredibly comforting. I have been coming up here a lot. More so than I'd liked. I only ever came here to seek solace in the past. Now, it became more of a habit than anything, but it had helped a lot. I've been feeling a lot better and burning off the steam from all the pent up frustration I accumulated with Emily around. It was the little things, like her walking around the apartment in just a towel earlier that was incredibly frustrating and had my mind racing at a speed that must've been faster than light. Sometimes, I couldn't help but stare, especially in the locker room, but I tried my best to look away. If I hadn't known any better, I would've dismissed the idea that she was doing it on purpose. _She was a tease, and she knew it_. I shook my head and grin at the thought of this new side of Emily I've never gotten seen before. It was as though she knew what she was doing to me, even if I hadn't shared my true thoughts and feelings with her. Hopefully, she hadn't caught onto my lie and continued to believe that I had only wanted to stay friends. It was definitely proving to be more difficult lately. As Emily began to grow more comfortable around me, I grew tenser with every touch and every affectionate gesture I noticed that she only reserved for me.

Emily had been anything but shy in the last few months about her affection towards me. She didn't try to hide it, but she seemed to be aware of her limits and be conscious of when not to cross the line that I've drawn between us. Although I was finding it harder to resist her, I had also gotten better at controlling myself. I mean, I got through this evening without ravishing her as she stood before my bedroom door in nothing but a towel. That must've proven that I much more self-control than I give myself credit for, right? I sighed and felt my willpower relenting._ It was going to be a long year._

* * *

"Alright, for Monday's homework, I'd like for you to read up on two cases and write FIRAC analyses for both of them. Remember, FIRAC stands for facts, issue, rules, analysis, and conclusion. Also, don't forget to do your textbook readings, folks. We'll be talking about the world's international finance next week. That's all for now, have a good weekend everyone!" my business law professor said to end the lecture.

Everybody around me started to stand up and take off to his or her next destination. Some students stayed behind and surrounded the professor, probably having some inquiries about the homework assignment. I huffed out from the slight irritation of having a heavy workload to get done this weekend. Couldn't I just sleep in this entire weekend? I slightly pouted at the idea of a free weekend suddenly thrown out of the window with this new homework assignment on my to-do list.

"What's the matter, champ?" Sammie chirped beside me.

"Homework's the matter." I groaned and sunk down in my seat. Throwing hands over my face, I grumbled incomprehensible complaints into them.

"It's just two case analyses and some readings, Paige. Cheer up!" she attempted to make me feel better in vain.

"I know, but I have a 8-page short essay for Western World History class that's due the same day as the swim meet on Wednesday, and there's an exam for Business Psychology class on Friday, and then I have to drive back to Rosewood to see Dr. Sullivan next – " I was saying before Sammie clamped a hand over my mouth.

"Okay, you really need to relax, honey. One thing at a time. Stop stressing yourself out and let's head over to Lovers & Madmen. We can get started on the case analyses there, okay?" she asked. I gave in and nodded slowly before she took her hand away. We both got up and grabbed our belongings before leaving.

It didn't take us long before we arrived at the café and we walked over to the counter where Melanie was. The barista looked up from the coffee pot she was pouring into a cup and smiled at us.

"Be with you girls in just one moment," she said as she sauntered over to the other side of the coffee bar to place it on the counter where a customer was waiting. She walked back quickly and took our orders and shooing us off to find a seat in the cozy café. We've gotten to know Melanie in the past two years since we've been at U Penn., and she was incredibly friendly and kind. Lovers & Madmen had become our niche ever since we walked in one day during our first semester at U Penn. All of the Penn. students came here to study and it could get crowded at times, especially when exams came around. Sammie and I walked up to the table that sat in the middle of the room that was further back into the café and we set down our stuff. I began to pull out my books and notebooks out of my bag, but my phone rang and I stopped what I was doing to pick up the phone call.

"Hello?" I spoke into the phone without looking at who the caller was. I bent my head to the left, trapping the phone between my head and my shoulder while going back to unpacking my study materials.

"Hey P, Em and I both just got out of our classes. Want to meet up somewhere and study together?" asked Spencer. I smiled and set the rest of the course materials onto the table before straightening up and taking the phone into my hand.

"Actually, Sam and I are already at Lovers & Madmen. Do you want to come over?" I asked.

"Oh, okay. Yeah, we'll be there in ten." she promptly said before hanging up. I chuckled and put the phone away.

"Who was that?" Sammie asked.

"Spencer. She's on her way over with Emily right now." I said. I stood there nodding for a bit in contemplation of what I was about to do before sitting down.

"Sometimes, I wish you would just peel away all of your skin and find a different _you_ underneath." Samantha looked straight at me in the eyes. My eyes widened in surprise and I don't know why but her words had caused me to laugh.

"What on earth are you saying?" I asked curiously.

"You saw her _everywhere_ when she wasn't here. Literally, she was all you thought about for the past two years. And now that she's here, you act as though she isn't even here at all. What is wrong with you, Paige McCullers?" she gave me the third degree. _Great. Here we go again._

"I…" I didn't know what to say. Usually I'd make a smart comment and we'd leave it at that. How do explain that I felt Emily belonged to someone more deserving of her? That she could go sail around the world chasing her own dreams or go fulfilling someone else's dreams as long as that makes her happy? Because I wouldn't mind. _Her happiness was my happiness._ That I was always for her to keep, but I couldn't allow myself to keep her. I didn't want to hold her back. She's sacrificed so much of her time grieving. I didn't want to be the cause of her crying any more. I wish I could do better…because that's what she deserves, but my future is unforetold. I couldn't promise her anything, not even my life. But she had my heart. She kept my heart and I didn't mind. I had already spent so much time convincing myself that I was content with the way things were right now. I don't think I could go back and undo everything I've done. I might totally get lost if I do.

"Even a blind man can see what's going on. You know what? _Tell me to stop and I will_. I've run out of breath and exhausted all of my spare energy reciting these lines, and it never gets through to you." I looked into her eyes and saw how seriously upset she was. I wonder why she was so full of angst out of the blue.

"Sammie…are you okay?" I cautiously asked. I looked at her with concern. Was she alright? It wasn't like her to say those words.

"I was on the phone with Jem last week, and he got all serious about our future." She let out a sigh while dropping her gaze and continued, "He told me that he felt _inadequate_ and _unworthy_ of me." I pursed my lips and then breathed out in understanding. I nodded and reached over and placed my hand over hers. She looked up at me and smiled a bit. "We're okay. It's just…I want you to know that _if I were Emily_, I would feel terribly sad if I knew you felt that way. No one should _ever_ feel that way about themselves."

I stared at her while carefully processing her words. Suddenly, Melanie appeared before us with our coffee and we thanked her as she sat the cups down on our table. We both looked down at the heart-shape pattern that was created in the foam. I smiled at Melanie's kind gesture and glanced over at her to thank her again. Just as I was about to turn back in my seat, I saw Spencer and Emily through the window walking up to the entrance of the coffee shop. I contemplatively watched Emily as she followed Spencer's lead into the café and caught both of their eyes as they spotted Sammie and me. They both smiled and walked over to the counter where Melanie was at and ordered their drinks. After they were done, they sauntered across the room and sat down on the empty chairs at our table. With Sammie sitting across from me, Emily took a seat to my left and Spencer to my right.

I looked over to Emily and caught her staring at me. I held her gaze and realized how fearful I was to let myself fall. But I was already falling for her eyes. _Don't look away._ I felt her eyes tried to tell me.

_Two people who love each other this much should be together_, _right?_ Isn't that what everyone's been trying to tell me? But if my past was any sign of our future, I knew that I couldn't trust myself to love her. In my heart, I knew that it was a cruel world, and I couldn't…take my chances.

And so I looked away.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Author's Note:**_** So…this was an interesting chapter to write. That's all I really have to say. Thank you so much for all the recent favorites and follows! Please have a wonderful day! Cheers! :)**

**BokononCradle:** I know you wanted for me to use your line for Paige or Emily…but I felt that if I did…it wouldn't feel right, so I had Sammie said it. Hopefully you liked it as you said you did. :) I felt the same way writing the chapter from Paige's POV. I want her to get over it and just…let herself love too…but things like that don't happen immediately, you know? I think she gets enough punishment from having to deal with Emily walking around almost naked. hahahaha It's her choice if she can see but doesn't want to touch. Let's see how long she can keep her cool. ;) Thanks for coming back to read and review! Hope you enjoy this chapter. ;) Have a wonderful day!

**Del:** Delphine, thank you for always thinking of this story and me. It is so sweet to know that. I only adjusted your line a little bit (not "beautify" it), so don't give me too much credit for that. I hadn't want for Paige's reaction to be too huge because I want her to gradually process rather than freaking out on Emily, you know? I'm so glad you didn't choke on water though. I'd feel so bad if you did. I love your perception of Emily and Paige always being a part of each other. I hadn't noticed that even though I've written it. You're right. Sometimes, the people you love will remain in your life forever, even if it's not in physical presence. I am killing nobody! hahahaha Why am I to blame for all these killings I've never done? This is ridiculous. We need to get someone to look over this situation. hahahaha Emily will be doing more than just walking in a towel. ;) hehe So look forward to that, dear. SO MUCH fun with a house full of estrogen, right? hahahahah I can only imagine… This chapter is not as emotionally packed, but it was fun to write. Hope you enjoy it! Have a beautiful day! :)

**Rushi:** Of course I remember you! Wow, I hope you did well on your exams! So good to have you back and to hear from you, buddy. Thank you for continuing to love this story and the direction it's going. :) It's definitely sad to read from Emily's POV. I can guarantee you that it gets better from here. ;) As for Paige…we'll see. hahahah I love that Emily was a tease. Doesn't it twist things a little bit to see that side of her? You come asking for Samara right when I've decided to write her out. Should've been here to defend her while everyone else hated on her character in the story! hahaahah Thank you for coming back to read and review, Rushi! Is that your name? Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a wonderful day! :)

**Rain'sMistress:** What was too damn cute? The towel tease show, or the party at the Hastings' manor? Thank you for making a remark on the future transition. I really wanted to move things along and continue to build the characters' roles and parts in a new setting. It's college AU…so I got to get it back on track after giving such a long back-story to how their relationship fell apart. haha Are you sure you'd pay double to live with them? I totally laughed when I got to that part. I haven't gotten any better offer, so I guess you can start packing your bags to move into one of the girls' rooms. ;) Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it.

**Gigabyte1:** I get it. We're all busy and trying to catch up on each other's stories to review and then go back to writing our own story, while being preoccupied with Reality. hahahaha Oh how I've missed you, Arantxa. I was sure you were alive, because who else would be updating your story? Haahahah Thank you for continuing to love and support this story. Man, I think you're the only one who laughed at the scene where Sean was dancing by himself aside from me. I laughed a lot when I wrote that part. Hahaahah Awkward moments between Paily huh? I'll try to see what I can do. ;) Hope you enjoy this update and have a very good day! :)

**Marmoreck:** Hi Juliette! So…drama… Not much in this chapter, but hopefully you'll still like it. I know how much you love drama and I'll try to see what I can write in the future chapters. After watching Tuesday's episode of PLL, I thought I was going to faint seeing Paige all dressed up in that lesbian bar. That girl got game! Hahaahah Must've fulfilled your dream of her being the object of lust and love, right? That Shauna girl was a flirt! Hahahaha Emily's jealousy? Why must we torture Emily? Hahaha Anyway, I hope you'll have a beautiful day! :)

**Paily lover:** Well Jamie, if you don't like the username, you can always make a new one! :) Whatever floats your boat. Hahahaha It's so funny how you were wishing for a sexy friend like Emily walking around in just a towel. We're friends and I happen to do that all the time. Does that count? hahahahahaha I get what you mean though. I would only want a sexy friend like Emily if I was incredibly attracted to her the way Paige is attracted to Emily. Blue balls? LOL Oh…man…I wouldn't go that far, but it would make sense. Poor Paige, huh? If only she knew… I know you're still not over the Spencer/Paige thing. It's always on my mind when I'm writing. I'll see to it soon. Just trying to get into Emily and Paige's psyches for now in this new future first. :) You read this when you were drunk? Wow. That is incredible. And you read it again with a hangover? That is intense. Kudos to you! Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Have a wonderful day too, alright? :)

**Jamscottroc54:** Don't sweat it. Take care of yourself and write those papers for college, they're more important. :) I feel like this is the first time I see you genuinely struggle with Paige's character and feeling a bit distraught over her thoughts and actions. It's so amusing to see. Your review remains humorous and entertaining to read, Jamillah. ;) I enjoyed how you totally flipped my words around and said that Paige does not get credit for her self-control. I'm totally against them having intercourse anywhere else besides their own bed. lol I would Never feel comfortable having friends doing it on my bed. Would probably buy myself a new mattress too. lol I hope you enjoy this chapter. Again, don't worry about the shorts. Take care of your college applications first, girl. :)

**Hipnos7777:** I feel like they're becoming good friends again, what do you think? It's a great start after everything that's happened. Emily seemed to fit right in and getting along with everything okay. She's adjusting better than Paige it seems. A house full of girls…and tension. hahahahaha So much fun to write! Can you imagine what it'd be like if Aria and Hanna joined them? Oh god, I'd go mad. hahaha Well, dear, I think you inspired this one. Thank you for giving me encouraging words the other day. It gave me a little push to write this one quickly. ;) I hope you enjoy it, Anna. Can't wait to hear what you have to say after. Have a good one! :)

**Nae10:** Don't get too discourage. Some people get lost and eventually find their way back to where they belong. I think this will help Paige grow and become have a clearer idea of what she truly wants and what kind of future she'll let herself have. Killing you softly with their love? Reminds me of Roberta Flack's 1973 version of "Killing Me Softly". It's a lovely song. Hopefully you will enjoy this chapter too. Have a wonderful day! :)

**Sazar:** I wasn't aware that people would think about the story even after reading it. hahaha That is so wonderful to hear! Usually after I read a chapter, I forget about it entirely until the next update. hahaaha I'm so awful. ;) I want to thank you for falling in love with BIF. I'm sure the story reciprocates your love and appreciates you too. ;) This story definitely has a lot of heartbreaking moments. Maybe I describe the pain in too much detail? I'm just trying to grasp that really…sad and depressing feeling of having your heart broken and going through years of…hurt and sorrow because of it. I don't know if all the readers here have loved and lost, but I have…and I remember being so miserable for years on end. I like to stay true to how these characters feel. It's trippy when I write those scenes, because I try not to rely on my own painful memories to write them. But thank you for appreciating all the emotions that goes on in this story. Heartbreaking? Yes. As real as it can get? Oh yeah. Will it get better? Definitely. ;) Please enjoy this chapter and have a wonderful day!

**Emsy:** Thank you so much for coming back to read and review! :) Also, thank you again for your kind remarks. It's really sweet of you to say that. It definitely is still sad, but things will get better. At least it's entertaining for the time being, right? Thank you for trusting me to deliver a chapter that will make these characters grow and come together someday. Please enjoy this chapter for the time being and have a good day! :)

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

"Alright, practice is over! You put in good effort today ladies. Now go hit the showers!" Coach Blair hollered.

I stayed in the pool as everyone else started shuffling around and getting out of the swimming pool. I had wanted to stay a little longer and leisurely swim a few more laps. It was coming out of my time anyway. Coach Blair strolled over to where I was and easily crouched down with both hands still on the clipboard, one hand holding a pen.

"Fields, great effort today. Don't stay in the pool for too long. I don't need you overworking those shoulders." he used the pen to point at my shoulders and smiled. I return his smile and nodded in understanding, and he stood up and walked away, leaving me alone in the natatorium. I pulled down the goggles that rested atop my head to cover my eyes, and begin to kick off the wall with ease. I counted the strokes and came up for air, and then continued swimming in the same pattern for the next ten or so laps. I focused on nothing but the way my body was carried effortlessly through the water. It was beautiful. It _felt_ beautiful. Being in the water was the life that I felt I could comfortably breathe in these days. With so many things changing in my life in the past two months, I felt a little overwhelmed with the new experience out in the city. It wasn't like anything I've imagined, but it was incredible nonetheless. I felt at home with this place. There was something about everything here that pulled me in and caused me to fall more in love with U Penn. Although there are still many unfamiliar places I have not visited, I felt like it didn't matter all that much because I had swimming, and time was on my side. There was always going to be time to venture across the city, but swimming in this natatorium was going to become a fleeting moment in coming time.

After swimming my last lap, I leaned my back against the wall and took in the view before me. Sunlight passed through the three tall windows of the natatorium and the rays of light reflected against the surface of the swimming pool. The light danced and sparkled enchantingly across the face of the water, and I marveled at its beauty in the passing moment. For just one second, I watch as the reflection of my life flash before me and realized how imperfectly perfect it was. Too mesmerized by the water to even realize that I was no longer alone in the quiet chamber, a voice from behind startled my senses out of the half-conscious state that I was in.

"Hey Em, do you want me to wait for you?" I turned around in the water and found myself face-to-face with Paige. She had bent down to speak to me and now our faces were merely inches apart. I opened my mouth to respond, but I couldn't seem to find my voice. Staring into her deep brown eyes, I tried to find words that didn't want to escape me.

"Yeah…if you don't mind." I finally uttered. She smiled and shook her head no. She got up and picked up the duffel bag that was lying by the edge of the pool with her.

"I'll just wait here then," she said as she gestured to the bleachers. I nodded and placed both of my hands onto the side of the pool, lifting myself out of the water in one swift movement. When I rose to my feet, she handed me my towel and then headed over to the bench seat to sit down. I dried my face with the towel, and watch as she clumsily dropped the book she was pulling out of her bag. It was adorable. I caught myself smiling and bit down on my bottom lip to keep my face straight as I walked past her. Once I felt she was a safe distance away from me, my face broke into a smile again as I revel in Paige's sweet gesture to wait for me after swim practice. Things had gotten better between us. We were friends again. Although the idea hadn't appeal to me at first, I had slowly grown to enjoy our friendship. It's just…being able to spend time with her was enough for me these days. A part of me believed that if I was patient enough and showed her I'd always be here no matter what happened, she'd come around to see that I meant what I had said _that night_. I wanted her to know that I was here if she needed me. I was here for comfort. I was here to love her. I would always be here. I _will_ always be here.

I opened the door to the locker room and stride over to my locker. As I was opening it, I heard muffled voices over in the shower stalls. I shrugged my shoulders, minding my own business, and grabbed my shower kit and a dry towel. As I was about to walk into one of the shower stalls, I unintentionally overheard the conversation that was going on behind two curtains of the shower stalls. I recognized their voices and realized that it was just my two swim mates. They were the only ones left in the locker room with me.

"Oh geez, stop it. Get your head out of the gutter, Lena." I heard Kirsten said and laughed animatedly.

"What? She's _so _hot! I can't wait until we have our first date tomorrow afternoon." Lena said with excitement. _Who's hot? Huh, I guess we have more in common than just swimming on the same team. _I smirked at this newfound information.

"_First date_? What date?" Kirsten asked.

"My study date with Paige! That's what I've been trying to tell you since the beginning of swim practice!" Lena exclaimed.

"Wait, are we talking about the same Paige here? _Paige McCullers_? As in _The Paige McCullers_?" Kirsten dubiously questioned.

"Duh! Which other lesbian do you know that's named Paige?" Lena quickly threw back at her. _Uh…none_. _Date? What date?_

"How'd you manage to score a date with that hottie? I thought she'd never date again after what happened with Shannon." Kristen remarked. _Shannon? Who the hell was Shannon? _

"_I have my ways_." Lena slyly answered. I raised my eyebrow at this. _What ways exactly? _

"Wow, so it's for real?" I heard the surprise in Kristen's tone. My eyes widened immediately as realization set in when I heard the disbelief in Kristen's voice_. No_.

_She's lying_. I stormed out of the shower stalls before I could hear another word come from her mouth. _She's lying_. She wasn't even Paige's type! I rushed towards my locker and dropped the towel and shower kit onto the bench without care. Standing still before the lockers, my fists clenched tight to suppress the urge to throw a punch at the metallic compartment. I couldn't understand her. What the hell was going on? The muffled voices in the shower kick-started my thoughts again as I was reminded of Lena's words. Just the idea of her and Lena going out together made me want to vomit the breakfast I had from earlier. _It wasn't fair_. The thought echoed in my head. I didn't understand. I rested my head against my right forearm that was now leaning on my locker, while my left hand stayed clenched and started to weakly pound the metalized frame before me._ I do love you, but not in the way that you want me to. _I remember her say. I tried not to let those words haunt me in the last few months, but they did now. It was hard to say what was going on between us. Sometimes, things would be fine and we'd be close. Other times…she kept me at arm's length and would not let me reach out to her. I had tried to tell myself that she was just trying to get used to our new relationship, because I was adjusting to the new _us_ as well. I was afraid that I'd scare her, but I didn't want us to gradually go back to being on unfamiliar grounds with each other again. So I tried to be friendly. I tried to be affectionate. I tried to demonstrate how obliging I could be to our new close friendship. I had wanted for us to be close. But it seemed now that no matter how hard I try, she wouldn't pick me. Instead she went with Lena, that brunette model-looking shrew. _Fine. Go be with that pathetic piece of – _I stopped in the midst of my thoughts as I realized what I had just felt. _Jealousy._ I opened the locker and grabbed my duffel bag. After putting on a shirt and shorts over my swimsuit, I quickly shoved everything I had on the bench into my swim bag. I unintentionally took my frustration out on the locker and slammed it shut before I marched out of the athletic locker room. I felt infuriated and irritated with myself. I couldn't let my feelings be a hindrance to my effort of rescuing our relationship. But I was losing my mind as I thought that. As I exited the locker room, I saw Paige now standing up on her two feet and walking towards me with a worried expression painted on her face.

"Is everything all right in there? I heard a door slamming," Paige voiced her concern when she got to my side.

"It was nothing. Let's go." I quickly said to dismiss her inquiries and led the way out of the natatorium as she followed from behind me. I realized that I was walking a bit too fast, so I slowed down a bit until she had caught up with me. We walked across the campus in silence and I secretly glanced over at her when I felt that she wasn't paying attention. She was in shorts too but had a jacket on. My eyes trailed down her long legs and watched as each leg stepped in front of the other in a perfect rhythm. I quickly looked up again and tried to concentrate on the route that we were taking to get back to our place. I walked closer to her until our shoulders were almost touching, and I finally relaxed realizing she's still here with me. I suddenly felt our skin contact on my left leg and involuntarily shivered at the touch of her bare leg.

"Are you cold?" she asked. I looked over and saw her staring at me with concern glinting in her eyes. I shook my head and before I could respond, she stopped walking and dropped her duffel bag onto the ground. Paige began taking off her jacket and handed it over to me. "Take it." she ordered. I didn't want to, but how do I explain to her that I was just trembling because of the slightest of skin contact between us? It would probably frighten her if I had told her what was truly going on with me. I sighed as I walked over and hesitantly take the garment out of her hand. I eased the swim bag off of my right shoulder and then begin to put her jacket on. It smelled just like her. So sweet and pleasing to all of my senses. Nothing could make me feel the way she does. It was the most comforting feeling amidst all these confusions. At least, I had _this_ to give me strength to hold onto what we had. To hold onto a love that's so true. A love worth waiting for to happen again. Before I knew it, we had resumed walking side by side. With her duffel bag hanging on her left side, she held onto the strap near her shoulder to keep it in place as she walked. Her right hand hung down freely on her side near mine. I wanted so criminally to reach out and hold her hand…but I knew that I couldn't. The simple act of just us holding hands. I couldn't even do that. _Because she was no longer mine._ But she was all I ever wanted, and maybe all I ever wanted to do was to hold her hand forever. And even so, I was suddenly reminded that _Paige hadn't wanted the same thing_. This true love worth waiting for. This true love waiting to happen again. She had told me she didn't want it. I looked away and sigh as the soft breeze passed through the space between us. _This was all we had left. This was it, and I had to accept it for what it was._

* * *

"_I love you," she whispered. I stared into her eyes and found love there. In this moment, it was all that I knew. Her love. Her eyes. Her existence. Her life. Just her…forever._

"_I love you," I said back breathlessly before I leaned down and kissed her tenderly. She reached around my neck and I felt her pull me deeper into the kiss with her delicate hands. Leaning in further into her touch until there wasn't any breathing space between us, I felt her heart flutter rapidly beneath my chest. There was nothing like this. Nothing like two hearts beating so madly that it could be mistaken as one. She moved her hands downward from the nape of my neck and grasped my shoulder blades, forcibly meshing our naked upper body with each other. I instinctively moan as I felt the heat spreading throughout my body and intuitively thrust my pelvis into hers. She broke away from our kiss and arched her back to lean further into me. Looking down, I caught her eyes, sparkling with an imminent desire to have a release. I impishly grinned as I had a plan of my own. I leaned down to trail kisses on her neck, taking turns to brush my lips lightly and then adding more pressure as I made my way across her bare skin. She whimpered and sensually moaned, urging me to go on, but I took my time to thoroughly kiss all of the sensitive points that I knew and her lithe body rose up to meet my hips in an attempt to find release. Without warning, I let my teeth sink into her skin and grab a hold of her pulse, drawing the pulsation in softly before releasing it. She groaned in frustration and her grip on my shoulders tightened, and I felt her nails threatening to break into my skin. I grinned at the reaction I was evoking from her before my tongue ran over the bruised spot delicately, and I kissed it soothingly before I moved back up to find her lips. She writhed about beneath me when she realized the tantalizing pace I was setting, and began to suck and bite on my lower lip feverishly. She stealthily slid a hand in-between our bodies and trailed her fingers lightly down my sternum to my chest and I softly moan into her mouth at how sensual it feels. She slowed down our kisses as her hand move past my navel and kept moving further down towards my center. My breath hitched as she lightly cupped my mound and I groaned involuntarily at how close I feel with her so near. Her hand teasingly left me and went to explore the inside of my thighs, and I let out a breath of frustration. _

"_Paige…please…" I pleaded as my eyes fluttered close. She continued to caress the inner parts of my thighs and I pulled back from our slow kisses to look at her. A smirk formed upon her lips, and I leaned back down to kiss it away. Pulling back again, I stared into her eyes as she continued to tease me._

"_Doesn't feel so great being on the receiving end of the teasing now, does it?" she asked. I bit down on my lips and reluctantly nodded in defeat. Before I could say any more, I felt her hand on me again and I felt her fingers slipping into my wet folds as she began to touch me sensually. I gasp when her fingers found my clit and circled it with gentle pressure. I felt my legs lose control and I slightly trembled above her, and she used this opportunity to flip me over without warning. As I landed onto my back, I felt my breath quickening as I looked up into her eyes. She stared at me hungrily and I saw the desire burn in her eyes. Our lips crashed together and she kissed me passionately as I felt her fingers pick up their speed. I moaned and arched my back into her touch, trying to increase the friction between her fingers and my clit as I became wetter by the second. _

"_Oh fuck Paige… Oh god, please don't stop," I breathed out as I broke away from our kiss for air. She increased the rapidity of her fingers circling my clit and I felt the heat rising from my toes and making its way up my legs. _

"_Yes, right there! Mmph…yes…mhm…oh f-fuck!" I gasped when I felt a warmth shot through me. She continued to rub my clit at a fast pace in short time, and I grabbed onto her shoulders to hold onto the pleasurable feeling. Out of left field, she penetrated me with two fingers and pumped the digits into me unrelentingly. I screamed out in pleasure and I felt her lips on mine again before our tongues fell into a passionate dance of their own, while I got lost in the feeling of having her in me. I felt her everywhere as she awakened all of my senses. It felt incredible. It was unbelievable. I felt her fingers starting to curve as she thrust them into me blindingly, and I felt the rise of the heat coming on again. I couldn't focus on any one thing as her thumb continued to rub my clit while her fingers stroke and enter me repeatedly. My hips moved against her fingers uncontrollably and I felt so short of breath. _

"_Oh god Paige, I'm so close…" I tried to utter through my rapid breathing. I didn't think I could hold on any longer. It felt too amazing and torturous all at once. I clung onto her with all of my strength as I let out another loud moan accompanied with a cry for release. _

"_Please…" the word drawn out as I desperately try to press back against her touch. The fire burned so slowly and I tilted my head as far back as I can while I anticipated for the heat to burst and radiate through every inch of my body. So fucking close…I started to feel._

_Suddenly, the bed slipped away from underneath me and Paige's weight that was once on top of my body disappeared. I felt myself freefalling. Freefalling? What…?_

"Ow!" I jolted awake the moment my body came into contact with the floor. "Fuck!" I cursed under my breath as I realized I was now lying face down on the ground, with forearms supporting my upper body weight and my legs slightly bent. I sat up slowly and looked around, realizing that I was in bedroom. Squinting at the clock on the wall, I realized that it was just a quarter 'til six. I had fallen asleep after getting home it seemed. I let out a sigh before getting on my two feet. As I stood up, I smelt a familiar scent that lingered around me. Looking down, I realized that I was still wearing Paige's grey hoodie. _No wonder I had dreamt of her._ _Jesus Christ. Are you fucking kidding me?_

I swear, if I have to wake up feeling this unsatisfied one more time, I'm going to need to seek for some medical intervention for this kind of sexual tension. At this thought, I suddenly had the perfect idea to get a quick fix. Walking briskly over to the drawer at the other end of my room, I pulled it out and lifted up the heap of neatly folded clothes as I grabbed at what I was looking for. After I unwrapped the parched brown paper, the vibrator came into view and I bit down on my lip as the thought of getting off with Paige just across the hallway clouded my mind. I walked over to my bed and lay down unhurriedly. I slipped out my shorts and underwear and brought my hand down to see if I needed any lubricant to help ease the vibrator in. Slipping a finger into my slit, I suddenly felt how wet I've gotten from the dream I just had. Pulling my hand away, I turned on the switch of the vibrator. It started vibrating in my hand and I moved it up and down my slit to lubricate it before I shift it towards my entrance. Slowly, I eased the head in and closed my eyes as I felt it fill me up.

"Fuck…" I gasped as the vibrator went in further and I felt the butterfly arouser work against my clitoris. The sudden intrusion of vibrations startled my body and kick-started my sexual need for release again. I found the switch and turned it up a notch into an ascending speed. The quick vibrations pulsed through my body waves after waves, and I threw my left hand back, reaching for the headboard of the bed to hold onto. I was instantly reminded of how I had held onto Paige in the dream. God, she had made me so hot. Suddenly, I remembered where I was and more importantly, Paige was in the room across the hall. There was a possibility that she could hear me. Trying to stay as quiet as I can, I let out a soft whimper at the pleasure the vibrator was giving me. _It felt so good. God, she had felt so good._ I bit onto my bottom lip and threw my head back as I thrust the vibrator in and out at a hurried speed, imagining that it was her hand pumping into me and making me breathless. My hips rose and tried to meet my hand halfway and I felt the hunger for quick release course through me. I let go of my bottom lip to breathe more easily and a loud moan escape me as I unintentionally hit my g-spot. _Fuck…it felt so good. _Reaching for the switch again, I turned the dial up to the final notch and the vibrations started to pulse at a blistering speed. "Oh fuck…" I cursed under my breath. I felt the heat begin to rise in my feet and I curled my toes as the sensation made its way up my body. My back arched even further off the bed and my thrust went in deeper and deeper until I felt I couldn't hold on much longer and tightly held the vibrator still to me. The butterfly arouser worked against my clit mercilessly and my legs began to tremble as I finally felt the heat made its way up to my stomach. I clenched my walls onto the vibrator desperately and I held it tighter against my clit as I tried to relax to let the pleasure overwhelm all of my senses. _Paige_. Her face flashed through my mind. Like a wildfire, intense heat begins to burst through every inch of my body and I started to shake violently, crying out a silent scream as the orgasm ripped through me ruthlessly. I threw my hands down on either side of me, clutching onto the sheets as wave after wave of orgasm ran through me relentlessly. After a few minutes, I reached down to switch off the vibrator and gently pulled it out. After setting it to the side, I tried to regain my breathing.

"Holy fuck…" I breathed out. For about fifteen minutes, I lay there in my bed and stared up at the ceiling. What was my life coming to? _Coming… You're hilarious, Fields._ I chuckled at the thought and let out a sigh before sitting up and grabbing the vibrator with me. Standing up, I pulled my shorts back on and threw my panties into the hamper as I walked over to my closet and grabbed my bath towel. Opening my bedroom door, I peeked out to see if anyone was in the hallway. Seeing that the coast was clear, I walked swiftly across the hall towards the bathroom. Once the door locked shut, I leaned back against it and breathed out a sigh of relief. Hanging the towel onto the hook on the door, I turned around and walked over to the sink to turn the water on. I cleaned the sex toy and let it lay on the counter before I undressed and stepped into the shower stall. I turned on the water and waited in the corner for the water to get warm. After about thirty seconds, the water had become lukewarm temperature and I stepped in under it. I breathed out as I ran my hands through my wet hair and the water continued to cascade down the length of my body. I suddenly decided I needed a hot shower, so I reached around to turn on more hot water. When the water finally got hotter, I began to stretch out my arms and realize how sore my muscles were. I've been spending a lot more time in the pool ever since I've gotten here, that's for sure. And…doing some other strenuous activities. I sighed in content as the water washed over me. I loved hot showers. They always made me feel better after a long day. After running my hand over my body and washing my hair, I quickly rinsed off and stepped out of the shower stall to dry myself. I wrapped the towel around my body as I realized I've forgotten to bring in a change of clothes, and grabbed the sex toy on the way out. Feeling a little silly for running towards my room, I dried the toy and hid it back where I had originally placed it. I rolled my shoulders forward and tried to ease the tension out of my upper arms but it hadn't seemed to work. I pulled out another drawer and begin to search for my pain reliever cream that I always applied on my aching muscles, but then I realized that I had already used it up about a week ago. Standing there with hands on my hips, I begin to wonder if Paige had any out of the blue. _No. Don't even think about it, Emily._ I bit down on my lower lip and contemplatively stood in place, wondering if it would be all right to ask for pain relieving cream. _But it couldn't hurt, right? _We were friends…and swimming on the same team. _Why not?_ I grabbed another towel as I made my way out of my room to dry my wet hair. I crossed the hallway without feeling worried until I reach her bedroom. All of a sudden, I started to feel a little nervous when I stood before her door. _Just knock, ask for the cream, and get it over with._ I mentally said to myself. I took another moment to relax before I raised my hand up to knock on her door. After a few moments, she finally opened the door.

I watched amusingly as her jaw dropped a little and her eyes traveled down my body. I looked down to see what the fuss was all about until I realized that I hadn't gotten dressed and was still wrapped in just a towel. She looked like a deer caught in headlights when she found my eyes again and I grinned as she blushed crimson red.

"Can I help you?" she timidly asked when she seemed to have regain her composure again. My grin grew wider as I realized I was making her nervous. Maybe I should walk around with towels more often if this was all it took to get her attention. _No, stop it, Emily. You're here for pain relieving cream_. _Don't start_. I lifted my hand up to dry my hair nervously as I remembered my purpose for being here.

"Yeah…I was wondering if you had any pain relieving cream? My muscles are aching a bit from this morning's practice." I explained. Almost immediately, her expression turned into a serious one as she looked at me with concern. She quickly turned around without saying a word and walked back into her room, leaving me at her door. I heard some shuffling from inside the room but I didn't dare to walk in. About a minute had passed before she came back with the small bottle of cream in her hand.

"Here you go," she said she handed it over to me.

"Thanks." I said and smile. Not knowing what else to say to her, I begin to turn around and leave. As I was halfway down the hallway, she suddenly called out to me.

"Hey _Em_," I heard her say my name. I stopped dead in my track and hesitantly turned my head around to look at her.

"Yeah?" I asked single-wordily. I watched as she thought hard about what she was going to say before she spoke.

"Take it easy, okay? Don't push yourself too hard and hurt yourself." I smiled, as I suddenly felt the warmth in my heart knowing that she still cared for me.

"Don't worry. It's just a small case of muscle aches. Nothing _this_ can't fix," I responded and waved up the bottle of pain relieving cream she's just given me. I turned back around and walked the rest of the way to my room, still feeling her eyes on me. It was an exciting feeling. But still just a fleeting moment. It would all be gone in a second. I walked into my room and closed the door behind me. I stood still for a moment to sort out my thoughts before I unwrapped the towel from my body and hung it on one of the door's hooks. Walking completely nude over to my dresser, I grabbed a pair of panties, red plaid pajama pants, and a grey tank top. I had decided to skip out on the bra since I wasn't going out tonight. After putting on some change of clothes, I brushed my hair and put on some face moisturizer. Looking over at the clock again, I saw that it was half past seven. _I wonder when Spencer and Sammie will get home from grocery shopping._ It was their turn to do go this week. As if on cue, I heard the front door to the apartment swung open and was able to make out their voices and Dan's.

"I know, and I brought my cell with me just in case." I heard Paige say as I was walking down the hallway and into the living room. When I finally stepped into the kitchen where the crowd was at, Paige turned to leave and I clasp my hand onto her arm instinctively to ask where she was going. She looked up at me and her eyes stayed lock on mine. I held my breath and wonder what it was like to breathe again. I couldn't focus on her eyes alone as mine traveled down the length of her body to see her in a U Penn. sweater and running shorts and shoes.

"Where are you going?" I finally asked.

"A short run." she quickly said and smiled before slipping out of my grasp. I watched her walk away until she suddenly turned around and asked, "Can I count on somebody being here when I come back?"

"Yeah, we'll be here." Sammie spoke up for the four of us. She walked to the front door and called out for someone to come lock the front door. I instantly walked towards the door and hadn't realized Spencer had gone to the door as well until we were standing side by side. She smiled at the both of us before she left. I sighed as Spencer closed the door, and I felt her wrap her arm around my shoulder.

"Just give her more time," Spencer spoke low enough so that only I can hear. I nodded and walked back into the kitchen with her.

"So, what are we having for dinner tonight?" I asked. Spencer, Dan, and Sammie all looked at each other and shrugged. I laughed and said, "Pizza it is then."

* * *

I felt incredibly uneasy as I watched Lena and Paige exchange words from afar. It was Wednesday and we had our first swim meet against Dartmouth. I sat at the edge of the pool and let my legs splash around relaxingly in the water. The pair was sitting on the bleachers enjoying what appeared to be a happy conversation. Paige seemed really engage in what they were talking about, and Lena just kept on touching her unnecessarily. I reached for my iPod and turned the volume higher to block out all the sounds that were echoing throughout the natatorium. We were all sitting around relaxing as we waited for the arrivals of our competition. Coach Blair had told us that they were going to show up in about an hour and had instructed us to sit back and unwind before we get our head back into the game.

I closed my eyes and shut out the world around me, and leaned back onto my hands as I tried to loosen up the tension I felt all over my body. I felt a little bit on edge today. I wasn't sure if it was because it was my first swim meet here. Or if it was because of the scene that was playing out on the bleacher to torment me. I was getting the whole front row seat to the show and I felt like I could see Lena trailing her fingers up and down Paige's arm even with my eyes closed. I gritted my teeth together and clenched my jaw at the thought of Lena touching Paige anywhere more intimately. _God, can't she be any more obvious about how desperate she is for Paige?_ Paige doesn't need a girl like that. She needs someone who was patient. Someone who understood her. Someone who'd take their time to get to know her, what she needs, the things she wants, and how she loves to be loved._ Someone who isn't running their freaking hand all over at every darn opportunity._

I sighed and tried to shake the thoughts away. _Focus, Fields. You need to win the 200 Freestyle and the 200 Butterfly later._ I nodded and try to focus on my purpose here today. I let the music take over and my head moved to and fro to the beat of the song as it got to the first chorus.

_I own this shit all week_

_This beat's for all my freaks_

_We're runnin' on no sleep_

_So line the shots up because_

_This party's jumpin'_

_We turn the volume up and_

_Don't stop 'til you get enough_

_G-g-g-g-get enough_

_Time…_

_To lose my mind_

_'Cause I work damn hard_

_So I play damn hard_

_Lost…_

_In the night_

_'Cause I work damn hard_

_So I play damn hard_

I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder and immediately opened my eyes. I looked up and found Paige looking down at me. She smiled when I took one of my earphones out and then sat down beside me as she let her legs dangle in the water too. We sat next to each other in silence until I finally turned over to look at her. She had her hair up in a loose neat ponytail and I watched as her eyes were now shut close. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed that Lena was watching us closely from the bleachers and I wanted to tell her to mind her own business but I ended up not doing it. I returned my glance back to Paige and saw that she was staring at me now, eyes filled with an emotion I didn't really recognize.

"What's wrong?" I asked after I sat up straight and twisted my body around to face her. She continued to stare at me and I watched as the corner of her mouth begins to slowly lift up.

"Nothing, really. Just remembering that day when you taught me how to swim for myself." She paused for a few seconds before saying, "_I'll never forget that_." Then, she smiled genuinely at me. I don't know how I've gotten so lucky. I remember that day vividly. She had hurt herself and couldn't swim in the meet, and I had accidentally run into her at the Sharks' pool afterwards. She was sitting at the side of the pool just like we were now, hands gripped on the edge as she leaned forward and stared out into the water. The lights of the pool had caused the surface of the water to glisten beautifully, lighting up her pure features in the most alluring way.

_I had made my way towards her, while she was lost in her thoughts sitting by the pool. _

"_You okay? You didn't return any of my calls." I remarked. _

"_I'm fine." she said as she lifted her left hand up to touch the cut that was right above her eyebrow. "It's nothing," she breathed and turned to glance back at me while she sat there. "I didn't know what to say." she said before she turned away again. "I was riding home on my bike and totally wiped out." she nodded as she said this and I heard her breathed out ragged breaths. _

"_What were you thinking about?" I pressed on as I looked down at the water. _

"_How easy things would be if I wiped out." she said unfeelingly. She paused for a few seconds before I heard her confession, "I'm kind-of done with swimming." I let out a breath of my own. _

"_Yeah…I used to feel that way," I said as I looked out at the water. _

"_Obviously you got over it." she pointed out and I looked back down at her. She nodded her head and then looked up at me. _

"_How did you get over it?" she asked sincerely. I looked at her and then back down to the water at her feet. _

"_I started swimming for myself." I said before I looked far out at the water again. "I quit trying to be better than everyone on the team and I just…relaxed." I shrugged as I said this. _

"_Sounds fun," she said more keenly than she looked. I watched as she got up on her feet and began to quickly walk away from me, and I felt myself feel torn between telling her to stay and letting her walk on. _

"_When's the last time you swam for fun?" I unexpectedly asked, hoping the words will get to her even though she had her back to me. She stopped in her track and I waited for what was about to happen next. With hands in her pant's pockets, she turned around and looks at me in half defeat and half surprised. We stared at each other for a moment, before I smiled and looked back at the water. Moments had passed between us and I began to feel a shift in our friendship. _

_After she had changed into her swimsuit, cap, and goggles, I took off my swim coat and put on my swim cap and goggles before diving into the pool with her. We swam in sync like never before, and it was an incredible feeling after everything that we've gone through lately. What she's gone through lately. What she's been feeling. From lust to hate. From hate to love. From love to truth. _

_I felt her in the water beside me in the next lane and I smiled every time I came up for air. I kicked my feet and surfaced out of the water and turned around, while she did a backflip and pushed off the wall to continue swimming. In that moment when I'd taken off my goggles to watch her swim, I felt a feeling I had never felt before. I watched in awe as I realized how perfect she was for the first time._

_So fragile. So defeated. So broken. But so incredibly strong. _

"I wouldn't be here without you. I would've given up. I might've just…_wiped out_." she said with a faraway look in her eyes as she stared out into the water. I reached over and hesitantly placed my hand on top of hers, and she turned around to look at me. I stared into her eyes and finally recognized the emotion I didn't before.

"You're here _now_, and that's all that matters. _The now_." I spoke softly. Tears brimmed in her eyes and I instinctively pulled her in for a hug. To hold her. To comfort her. To protect her from all the pain in this world. "_I'm here for you. Always_." I whispered into her ears. I felt her arms wrapped around my middle and she nodded into my shoulder. I closed my eyes as I was left speechless from holding her in my arms. _Give her a little time_. I heard a voice echo in the back of my mind and her hold on me tightened simultaneously. And all together, pieces began to fall into place as the words escape her lips.

"_I love you, Emily. I always have." _


	19. Chapter 19

_**Author's Note:**_ **Hello all! Thank you SO MUCH for the new favorites, follows, reviews, and PMs. You folks are so sweet and amazing! As I've said in the previous chapter, it was an interesting section of BIF to write. I hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint either. **

**Also, I've been getting a lot of requests for personal contacts outside of this fanfic site. I recently updated my profile and I have added my personal email address for any of you that want to directly contact me outside of this fanfic world. :) **

**Thank you for sticking it out with me on this wonderful journey. Cheers!**

**BokononCradle:** And…you're right! hahaha It's so awesome how that scene towards the end played out, didn't it? I was waiting for the right moment to add that in, and it worked out well. :) Thank you for coming back to read and review. Hope you enjoy this one! Have a wonderful day!

**MindFullofStories:** I find it so interesting that people are talking to my characters rather than to me in the reviews section. Like…"Am I allow to respond for my characters? Would that be rude?" hahahaha I will try to pass on the message to Emily for you. ;) Thank you for coming back to read and review, Lil. I hope that you enjoy this chapter as well. Please have a nice day!

**Del:** It's definitely okay to ask questions. I will eventually respond to them, and I hope to provide you with adequate answers. :) The last line of the previous chapter wasn't linked to the flashback, so I'm hoping Paige really said that. lol You're probably wondering, "Hoping?" and all I have to say is that you need to read to find out what I mean. I think the reason why Emily's part comes out so well is because I feel more connected to Emily's character than Paige's. I'm trying not to let that be a hindrance to this story. Sorry if it is though. What do you mean you would never expect a new writing style from me? Has my writing change? Thank you for coming back to read and review, Delphine. I hope you enjoy this chapter too. Please have a wonderful day!

**Rushi:** What about the "dream sequence"? Did you like it? ;) I love it when I introduce new characters, and people are always trying to get me to kick them out of the story. hahahaha Thank you for coming back to read and review, Aarushi. You are awesome! :) Please enjoy this chapter and have a very good day!

**Jamscottroc54:** You know, if you weren't always plotting against my characters, I would totally tell you that you're a great assassin, Jamillah. Oh man, that irritated facial expression is showing up again. hahahahaha I've missed that. ;) "That Should Be Me" by Justin Bieber? hehe Can you imagine how many hearts will be breaking and aching if that song actually played in the background? Crazy. I didn't know if writing two intimate scenes in one chapter was too much…but I guess you could never get too much of Emily. ;) Just when you thought it's over as she falls off the bed…ROUND TWO. bahahahahahaha I like that last scene too. I thought it was very touching. Well, hope you enjoy this one, my little wild child. ;)

**Bamary:** Hello! Haven't seen you around before, WELCOME! :) Your reaction to the previous chapter was hilarious. So things might actually work out, you ask? Um… Well, we'll see. ;) I thought the roommate assignment was kind-of obvious from the moment I revealed that they were all going to U Penn. together. ;) Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing. I hope you enjoy this chapter too and have a wonderful day ahead! :)

**Cici:** Don't sweat it. I'm really not sure what kind of vibe I am getting from you when I read your review. Do you like it? Do you not like it? Do you hate it? lol I love your analyses of this story. It gives me broader insights of what my readers are thinking as they read this. You're probably one of the few people who actually pays attention to every detail, understanding that I don't just add things in just for the hell of it, but it's actually there for a reason. :) Thank you for coming back to read and review, Cici. Please enjoy this chapter and have a very good day, okay? :)

**Emsy:** I laughed out loud as I wrote the part of Emily waking up from her dream too. I was sitting there wondering how it should've played out, and I had an "Aha!" moment before I wrote Emily falling off the bed. I think you're one of the few people who actually laughed at that scene. Thank you for promising me with words that you'll stick with this story until the end. It truly means a lot. ;) Please enjoy this story and have a wonderful day!

**Jes Angell:** Did you get back into serious mode after cracking up about Emily falling off the bed? ;) Nothing but teases coming from me. hahaha It's really fun writing scenes like that and trying to focus in on the right mood. You're not alone wanting Paige to cave in and go with her heart. Thank you for reading and reviewing. :) I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a beautiful day ahead.

**Hipnos7777:** Thank you for loving the previous chapter, Anna! :) I wasn't sure if you were going to like it. I was hoping you would, and I'm glad that you did. I thought it was really interesting reading Emily's POV in the previous chapter. Things are really starting to kick in and intensifying by the second. All the buildup tension is finally getting to her. Thank you for coming back to read and review this story. I hope you're having a wonderful day. Enjoy!

**cmart91cm:** Hey Crystal, it's nice hearing from you again. :) It's definitely heart wrenching to watch that scene play out. It was really hard writing it as well, because I just felt so overwhelmed trying to fit into her shoes while writing that scene. You are right. I like to keep people on their toes. :) Thank you for loving the story and reviewing! Hope to hear from you after this chapter. :) Please have a wonderful day!

**Marmoreck:** Thank you so much for your kind words, Juliette! Writing that "hot" scene was pretty fun and interesting. I was pretty much writing that scene in a Starbucks café, and these men would walk by trying to glance over my shoulder to see what I was writing. I mean, HELLO, I was already trying to be discrete about writing an erotic Sapphic scene, but these people just wouldn't get the message. hahahaahaha It was hilarious. Thank you for coming back to read and review. I hope you enjoy this chapter and to hear from you soon! :) Have a nice day!

**Paily lover J:** So I take it from what I read of your review that you enjoy those two intimate scenes I wrote for the last chapter? ;) I think it's so funny how frustrated you are with Paige. I like you're theory of Emily daydreaming Paige's words to her. Well, you'll have to read and find out. Thank you for coming back to read and review, Jamie. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Please take care!

**JessRawrs:** I think it's so amusing how you're one-liners really sums up how people feel about each chapter. Well, HELLO! Thank you hopping onto this Paily ship and reviewing. You are right, there are too many "feels". I feel pretty overwhelmed writing this story too. hahaha I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Have a wonderful day! :)

**Sazar:** I…don't know how old you are, but I'm presuming that you're younger than me. To me, having love and lost is better than not having ever known love at all. I don't know if many people share those sentiments like I do, but it's an eye opening experience. I'm glad this story speaks volumes about that pain and that I am able to express even a little of that pain and have you understand that feeling as well. I'm glad you enjoyed the previous chapter and I hope that you enjoy this one as well. Please have a wonderful day ahead! :)

**Gigabyte1:** It's so nice to hear from you! And I felt so incredibly happy reading your review of this chapter. I'm glad you enjoy it as much as you do, and still be able to find it in yourself to love this story. I love how you pointed out that the jacket Paige gave Emily triggered her erotic dream. hahaha I thought it was so sweet that Paige lent Emily her jacket when she thought that Emily was cold. It was such a nice gesture, don't you think? Well, thank you so much for coming back to read and review. I hope you enjoy this chapter too, and please, have a very good day Arantxa! :)

**Pokiepup:** How was the previous chapter different? Is it a bad thing? I really hope it's not. When I write, I just usually…well…write. hahahaha It also depends on the mood that I'm in. Maybe you're starting to feel the shift of the time jump and how things are escalating towards "that moment" for Paily. I don't know. Just a random guess. Thank you so much for the three "wow". hahahaha The chapter must've swept you off your two feet. ;) Thank you for coming back to read and review. It's always so nice to hear from you again. Please enjoy this chapter and have a fantastic day, Michelle! :)

**Shokoshik:** Thank you so much for personally telling me that you love the story. It really means so much coming from you, and I'm glad that you're enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it. Also, thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I will keep them in mind whenever I'm writing now. :) Please enjoy this chapter and have a very wonderful day, Chen! :)

**Nae10:** Awe, you actually tear up in the last chapter? How is that possible? You are spot on when you mentioned that it is so hard to be friends with someone you're so madly in love with. From personal experience, I can tell you that even I couldn't do it. Thank you so much for you kind words and for encouraging me to continue writing, Nae. Thank you again for coming back to read and review. Please enjoy this chapter and have a very beautiful day! :)

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Paige's POV**

"Oh right, I almost forgot," Spencer said after she quickly gulped her coffee and put the cup down. "There's this small…uh…get together thing for the debate team, so I don't think I could make it to the movies this Friday. Sorry..." Spencer slightly cowered in her seat as she said this.

I watched her carefully and my brows knotted together at her choice of words, and looked over at Emily to see that she was wearing the same expression like mine on her face. _Why was Spencer lying?_ It was a bit unsettling for me. _Was everything alright with her?_ As I turned over to Sammie, I saw that she seemed almost oblivious to the scene, but her eyes were smiling over the cup of coffee in her hand. _Something's definitely going on. _

"It's okay. Me and Paily here will enjoy the movies all on our own." Sammie said excitedly as she set her cup down.

"_Paily?_" I questioned and raised my eyebrow. _Paige and Em_ – _Oh._ "Wait a minute, you did _not_ just do that." I sat up straight and waved a finger at her. She dodged immediately as I try to swat at her, and suddenly I heard Emily giggling to my left. I turned to her and saw that she was biting down on her lip to hold back that perfect smile of hers and I felt my heart melted at the sight. I was instantly overwhelmed by the embarrassment of my reaction to how Sammie had addressed the both of us and sat back down. I let out a sigh before I slumped back in my seat, wondering how I was ever going to get past all of this adorableness radiating from the beautiful brunette sitting next to me. How one moment I was caught up in my act, and the next I was completely self-conscious and smitten around her.

"I like that. _Paily._ It sounds…" she trailed off. _Perfect. _I thought as I gazed at her while she smiled Sammie's way. It was great that they were getting along. It was amazing that we were all getting along in addition to my different relations with each of them. I shook my head back and forth in amazement. _If only they knew how much they all meant to me._

We've been at Lovers & Madmen for a little over two hours now. Sammie and I were able to finish one case analysis and we're about halfway through our second one now. Spencer has been working on her essay for the past two hours, and Emily was studying for her psychology exam. The four of us would make small conversations here and there, but most of it was about schoolwork and our extracurricular activities. Otherwise, it would just be Sammie and I exchanging our ideas and viewpoints of the cases we were working on.

Spence had gone back to writing her essay, and Sammie was typing up the homework from written notes that we have been discussing for the past two hours. Slowly, I turned my head to the left and sneak a glance at Emily, only to see her staring right back at me. She quickly looked away and I watched as her face reddened while she bit down on her lip again. My eyes followed the blush that ran down her neck until it stopped at the top of her grey V-neck. Her chest rose and fell slowly, and the shirt she wore had covered just enough skin to reveal the top of chest. I pursed my lips as my eyes travelled down further and longingly stared at her tight abdominal muscles that were flexing every time she moved. _God, she's so sexy…_

"Who's so sexy?" I heard Sammie asked and my eyes shot up immediately. _Shit. I said that out loud?_

"Uh…" _Shit, Paige. Say something!_ "Well…uh…um…I was…uh…thanking…_thinking_ about…girls…?" I stuttered as I suddenly found the wall behind Sammie's head more interesting to look at. _Fuck._ The girls broke out into fits of laughter as my face flushed from embarrassment.

"Wow McCullers, what kinds of thoughts were going on in that head of yours?" Spencer teased as she bit down on lip and gave me a flirty wink. I felt my face blushed even more as I realized what Spencer was getting at. She wasn't that far from the truth though.

"Yeah Paige, mind sharing your thoughts with the rest of us? I'm sure Emily, in particular, would like to know." Sammie added. I glared at her from across the table, but it had only made her fall back into her fits of giggles. _Jesus_. _Why does this always happen to me?_

"She's right. I _am_ curious now," Emily joined in. I slowly glanced over at her and felt the heat beginning to travel down the rest of my body. She had this look on her face that was considerably more humorless in comparison to the other girls. I gulped and felt a little bit of panic as I found myself reading the poker face she had on. _Shit. Say something!_ _Anything!_

"Don't laugh…" I began and watched as they all intently stared at me waiting for what's to come next. I pretended to look around before my voice dropped to a whisper, "I was imagining Melanie in a bunny suit and strutting around in heels." Laughter erupted and filled the entire room. I looked over to the barista and gave her a wink and thumbs up to make it look more convincing, and she winked back at me to my surprise.

"Oh my god, you did _not_ just do that Paige! Stop it! You're embarrassing us!" Sammie teased. Both Spencer and Emily still had a smile on their faces but they looked even more confused than they had earlier. I leaned back in my seat and cross my arms across my chest, acting as nonchalant as I can.

"What?" I asked the both of them. They looked at each other and shrugged.

"Nothing…but…" Emily started.

"But you sure have a strange fetish." Spencer added before she blew out a whistle and went back to her essay. I chuckled and looked back at Sammie to see her shaking her head back and forth while staring at me with knowing eyes. _I knew you were my best friend for a reason._ I communicated the words to her with my eyes. She continues to shake her head and smiling as she looked down at her notes again. When I looked back at Emily, she seemed to be focus on her work too.

_Close call_. I sat up straight as I let out a sigh of relief. _Now, back to work._

* * *

As I was toweling off my wet hair right by my locker, a pair of soft hands came up to my eyes and covered them out of the blue.

"_Guess who?_" I heard the voice whisper into my ear and all at once, my whole body tensed. I felt the hair on the back of my neck rise up from the soft breath that was blowing into my ears, and I shivered slightly at the sensation. I couldn't recognize whose voice it was. I thought hard to recall all the voices I knew and assessed each of them to compare to the voice that I had just heard, but I couldn't seem to match any with it. I slumped my shoulders in defeat and finally released my breath.

"I don't know. Reveal yourself, mystery person." I declared. Whoever it was released their hands and I turned around to find myself standing in front of someone I hadn't expected to be the perpetrator behind me from a few seconds ago.

"Hi, I'm – "

"Lena. I know." I finished for her.

"Wow, you – "

"Know your name? Yeah, you're in my – "

"History class." Lena smiled as she said this.

"I'm sorry, do you need something?" I decided to ask.

It was odd. We were already finishing off each other's sentences. I've never really spoken to her before. As far as I knew, she was a sophomore, we swam on the same swim team, and I had noticed that she was in my Western World History class after seeing her smile my way a few times.

I blinked a couple of times after I realized that she was standing before me in just a black lacey bra with matching panties. _Great. Look away, you damn perv._

"Oh, I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to get together and review for that history exam we have on Thursday afternoon. We could meet two hours right before class starts?" she ran a hand through her slick brown hair and licked her lips after she said this. I stood there in bewilderment, wondering if this girl knew what she was doing to me. _Just breathe, Paige._ _Breathe slow steady breaths._

"Hm?" I managed to say as my eyes wander over her half naked body on their own accord.

"Is that a yes?" she asked. I tried to remove my eyes from her body, but they just wouldn't budge.

"Hm…" I uttered again.

"Great! I'll see you at one o'clock at the school's café in the cafeteria!" she said. _Wait._ _What?_

Before I could say anything, she spun around and walked away. My jaw unhinged and slightly hung open for a moment as she swayed her hips back and forth down the walkway between the lockers. _Man, she's got nice buns. _I let out a low whistle before I went back to drying my hair. _One o'clock at the cafeteria on Thursday. You got it, girl._

* * *

I'd gotten to the natatorium two hours early for the swim meet against Dartmouth and sat on the bench alone as I watch the sunlight reflect upon the surface of the water. From the angle I was sitting at, I had the perfect view of the light dancing across the water like twinkling stars.

Suddenly, my mind began racing back to the days when I would sit by the lake in the meadow, leaning back on my two hands and getting lost in that magical world. _The universe of me and Em. _

I had loved the way she fitted into my world so perfectly. How everything she had touched in my life suddenly carried a trace of beauty. There were moments when she had touched my hand, and I didn't ever wanted to let go, because if I did, I'd let go of the most beautiful thing that's ever happened to me.

Every time I had loosen my hold on her, I felt everything slipping away even further. It didn't ever feel right to let go, and that's exactly the way I feel right now as I sit here thinking about that feeling.

Suddenly, I heard the entrance to the natatorium open and looked over to see some of the girls on the swim team walking in. They all at me and said hi, and I returned the gesture. I looked back to the water and tried to shake off all the feelings I had felt from earlier. This was our first meet and I really couldn't afford to screw up.

"Hey," I heard a voice say from my right. I glanced over and saw that it was her again.

"Hi," I breathed out. She made herself comfortable and sat down next to me.

"Are you nervous?" Lena asked me. I shook my head no and I dropped my gaze down to my hands in my lap.

"So…_why me_?" I decided to ask her. I looked up when I didn't hear a response and saw her stare at me in confusion. I chuckled before I asked again, "Why did you decide to ask me to study with you? Why not some other classmate?" She smiled and looked at me with an interesting expression with her eyes looking all glazed over.

"Because you're hot." she simply responded and then let her fingers trail down my upper arm. _What?_ I laughed nervously before I could find my voice to speak again.

"What?" I questioned.

"You're hot." she said again as her fingers glided back up my arm and making me slightly uneasy. I blinked quickly for a few seconds before I felt heat rising up to my face.

"And why…does me being _hot_ has anything to do with you asking me to study together for our history exam?" I daringly asked. She gave me a contemplative look before I saw her smirked.

"_Paige_," she said as she scooted closer to me and then let her voice drop to a whisper, "_don't you see where I want this to go_?" Suddenly I felt a light kiss right beneath my ear and my body froze. _What the_ – I felt another light kiss down my neck and I quickly turned and pushed her shoulders back. I glanced around to make sure nobody's witnessed what happened, and I let out a sigh of relief when I saw that no one had noticed us.

"N-no, you can't just – " I barely got to say before she jumped in.

"Come on, Paige. Shannon's already graduated and – "

"_Okay, are you done? Because I am_." I said sharply before I walked off down the stairs of the bleachers. I was fuming at her arrogance and how she even had the nerve to bring up my past. She didn't have any right too. She knew nothing. I walked over to the edge of the pool and had my arms across my chest, holding myself as I tried to regain some self-control. As I let my gaze go back to the water, I notice small ripples overlapping each other and I looked up to find out where it was coming from.

My eyes found Emily, and I watched as she sat by the edge of the pool on the other side with her eyes closed. She was already in the one-piece swimsuit and was wearing a white t-shirt over it. She looked so carefree just sitting there with her feet faintly splashing in the water as she rocked to and fro to the music she was listening to.

I hesitated for a moment before I decided to walk over. With each step, I've gotten closer to her until there were no more than two feet between us. She didn't notice me with her eyes closed. She probably didn't even hear me coming with her headphones on. I watched as she continued to be unaware of the world around her. She looked so peaceful. So put together. So entirely blind to how beautiful she was just sitting here by the pool like there wasn't a care in the world. I smiled at her posture. Legs bent at the knee and feet dangling in the water. Body arching back with hands settled on the ground to support her weight. Long dark tresses that look tousled and hung freely down her back.

I felt my breath caught in my throat when she sighed all of a sudden and lightly shook her head. I wonder what was going on behind those beautiful brown eyes. I wanted to know all her thoughts. I felt a need to reach out and touch her. To fathom what it's like to have her within grasp again. I stared at her for a little longer, capturing the moment to keep it safe in my memories. Then, I finally extended my hand and briefly touch her shoulder.

Emily immediately opened her eyes and looked up at me. She started to take her earphones out and I smiled before I decided to sit down next to her. Since I had on athletic shorts, I let my feet slip into the water beside hers. It felt nice. It was warm. Neither of us said anything. I basked in being able to just sit here like this with her. I closed my eyes and relished this moment. We've been having a lot of these lately. Comfortable silences. I breathed in deeply and relaxed as the smell of chlorine overwhelmed all of my senses. When I finally felt at ease again, I opened my eyes to see Emily briefly staring over at the bleachers. I watched her in curiosity, wondering what had caught her eyes. She abruptly turned back to look at me, and our eyes locked together as we got lost in our own little universe.

I remember those same brown eyes that rescued me from myself. The kind of eyes that were so magical, they could heal every soul they looked into. That day, she had somehow found mine. She had touched my life and showed me how love can mend all things.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she sat up straight and turned towards me.

Even when she was concerned, she was so beautiful. Worry lines were drawn on her face so delicately, and her eyes appear with so much emotion that I couldn't exactly make sense of. _Why was every little thing about her making me fall more in love? _It felt untrue to say that we weren't meant to be. Because if we weren't, we wouldn't be sitting here right now. _I_ wouldn't be sitting here right now with her. We wouldn't mean this much to each other after being apart for so long.

I tried searching for an answer to her question. What was wrong? _This was_. All of this. Us being friends. How I was sitting so close to her, but I've placed about a thousand miles between us. Why had I done that? Why did I ever think that by keeping her away, it would make things better for the both of us?

The harder I was trying to conceal my inner turmoil, the more I felt like it was threatening to show. How much longer can I put up this act? This so-called selfless act I considered so valorous.

"Nothing, really. Just remembering that day when you taught me how to swim for myself." I started. I continued to look into her eyes, searching for any sign of sadness, but I couldn't find any. Instead, I found a feeling I couldn't forget. The feeling of…_falling in love. _

"_I'll never forget that_." I was saying more to myself than to her, but I smiled as she went on to watch me carefully. She seemed content with my answer and our eyes remain locked in a hypnotic state.

That moment was committed to my memory forever. I was sitting by the edge of the pool, thinking…_that was it_. That it was finally over for me. Swimming. My future. Life. Everything.

Then by some kind of miracle, she suddenly appeared and asked me the most life-changing question. _"When's the last time you swam for fun?" _

"I wouldn't be here without you. I would've given up. I might've just…_wiped out_." I let slipped as my eyes dragged themselves back to the water. I was so broken back then. So confused. So given up on life itself. If she hadn't come around at that _exact_ moment, I maybe wouldn't be here. _No_, I was absolutely certain I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her.

Unexpectedly, I felt her hand grasp mine and I immediately turned over to look at her.

"You're here _now_, and that's all that matters. _The now_." I heard her say. I don't know what it was. The emotions rapidly swirling around inside of me. The words she had just said. Or maybe the entire situation that I was confronted with right now. But I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I couldn't find my voice to tell her that _I know now_.

I was instantly wrapped up in her embrace, and my hands trembled as I finally brought them up to enclose her in my arms when she whispered to me, "_I'm here for you. Always_." I felt myself nodding into her shoulder, and I buried my face deeper into the nook of her neck and tightened my hold on her. How did she know the right things to say when I was feeling so vulnerable inside? What did I ever do to deserve this? When will I ever stop feeling this way? Why was she so perfect?

"_I love you, Emily. I always have." _I confessed.

"_I know_." I heard her spoke softly as she tenderly ran a hand through my hair. I loosen my tight grip on her but kept my hands where they were on her back. I felt her smile into my hair and I sank even further into her. She continued to idly run her hand through my hair, and I couldn't imagine being anywhere else but here in her arms. _It felt like such a beautiful dream._

* * *

"_Next up is the 500 freestyle_. _In Lane 1 is Shelby Fortin of U Penn. Lane 2 – Kylie Leigh of U Penn. Lane 3 – Taylor Sneed of Dartmouth. Lane 4 – Paige McCullers of U Penn. Lane 5 – Sydney Stinner of Dartmouth. Lane 6 – Annie McCotter of Dartmouth. And in Lane 7 is Lauren Church of Dartmouth_." the monotone voice said over the speakers.

A whistle went off and I stepped up onto the block, bending over and lightly gripping onto the edge. Cheers erupted from behind me and I tried to block out the shouts and roars to detect the signal to dive in. My mind focused in on my dive from the starting block until I heard the horn go off. I dove in without any irresolution and began swimming as fast as I can_. One hundred. Four more to go_. My torpedo form glided through the water with less resistance as I propelled through the water with my form. As soon as I closed in on the wall for the third time, I executed a flip turn and catapulted in the opposite direction back to the starting block. My arms continue to move through the water but with a little bit of struggle now as I began my third hundred lengths. All I could hear was my heart pounding and pulsing loudly through my ears. I was struggling for breath now and as I lifted my head up to the side for air, I felt the rush of adrenaline shoot through me like a cannonball. _Halfway, Paige. Come on! Push! Keep going_. _You got this!_ I swam with all of the energy that I was worth until I reached the end of my fourth hundred lengths. _One more_. I picked up my cadence and launched into a high-speed pace. My arms, legs, core, and lungs were burning so wildly and I pushed off the wall and made a good turn back home. _Bring it home, Paige_. I couldn't tell if I was ahead or behind because I was shoulder to shoulder with the girl in the next lane. _Almost there_. As soon as I thought this, I felt my hand palmed the wall. I surfaced out of the water and looked up just in time to hear screams and shouts.

"_In first place, setting U Penn's new record for 500 Freestyle at 4:43.27 – Paige McCullers! Second place goes to Sydney Stinner of Dartmouth with the time of 4:47.02. Third place - Kylie Leigh of U Penn with the time of 4:55.13."_

"Oh my gosh!" I yelled and began beaming like never before at the results. I pulled myself out of the water and was immediately engulfed by my teammates. I couldn't believe it. _Me? Set a new U Penn. record? Is this real?_

"_Next up is the 500 Fly. In Lane 1_…" I heard the monotonous voice go off again.

I looked around and found Emily's eyes just in good time. She smiled my way and I began walking quickly towards her until I couldn't hold back and started to jump into a sprint. I wrapped her in my arms as soon as I got to her and picked her up and spun her around in circles. Hearing her melodious laugh, I quickly broke into another smile of my own.

I felt her repeatedly tap down on both of my shoulders with her hands to indicate that she wanted to be put down, and I slowly came to a stop while looking up into her eyes. She wrapped her arms around my neck and then I steadily let her down. It was slow and gratifying as I felt her body slide down against mine while my hands glided up until her shoulder blades. When both of her feet were finally planted on the ground, my hands dropped a little and kept still around her middle. We stared into each other's eyes, getting so caught up in the moment that I'd forgotten all about my victory.

She looked at me wondrously and I felt my heartbeat begin to pick up quickly again. I unconsciously gulped as I felt my mouth become dry. My breaths quiver as I exhaled and I felt myself melting beneath her gaze. I licked my lips and let my eyes drop down to hers slightly. As my stare linger for a little longer than I'd intended, I saw the edges of her mouth lifted up and a grin suddenly formed upon her lips. I found myself smiling again before I looked back up into her eyes. She tilted her head a little to the right and looked at me hesitantly. I began to slowly lean in and I saw her eyes soften as she moved in too. I held firmly onto her lower midsection to bring her closer and she pulled me in a little further with her hands that were now on my neck. I craned forward as my eyes shifted back and forth between her eyes and her lips. When our lips were about an inch apart, I closed my eyes and readied myself for what was about to happen next.

"_Next up is the 800 Free Relay_…" I heard the announcer say over the speakers before his voice droned on. I laughed and opened my eyes, and found Emily staring at me inquisitively.

"Sorry...I'm up next…and so are you," I said as I gestured my head over to the pool where the meet was still ongoing. It was the last event of the meet. She smiled at me and as I let her go, I felt her hands keeping still around my neck. I let my hands fall to her sides and allowed them to settle there. She held my gaze while letting her hands come around and push the strands of wet hair back behind my ears. She gently held the back of my head in her hands before she leaned over and placed a soft kiss on my right cheek.

"We'll talk later." she said while holding my gaze before completely letting go. I nodded and I let go of her entirely too. We walked together over to the starting block where the team was gathered, and everybody was looking at us like they had witnessed the most unimaginable thing that happened right before their eyes.

"Leigh, you're up first. Fields, you're second leg. Fortin, you're third. And McCullers, you're our anchor. Now girls, I want you to swim your best out there, alright? This is the last event. Despite our talents, we need to keep in mind that victory is not guaranteed. It's been a tough race going shoulder-to-shoulder with the Dartmouth girls, but we need to step it up a bit, understood?" he asked the four of us. We all nodded and he smiled before giving Shelby Fortin the go-ahead to call it. We all stretched out our hands towards the center before she started counting.

"Quakers on three! One, two, three!" she yelled.

"Quakers!" we all shouted at the top of our lungs.

The group dispersed and Kylie went up first to the starting block. Reaching for the goggled atop her head, she pulled it over her eyes and set it in place. The four girls from the Dartmouth lined up in the lane next to us, and their starter went up to the block a few seconds after when the whistle went off. I watched as Kylie dived in and glided underwater until she surfaced about halfway across the pool. She was about an arm's length ahead of the other girl in the left lane who had barely surfaced from underwater too. They both swam vigorously and completed their flip turns as they made their way back towards us. The other girl was now catching up and they were now racing shoulder to shoulder. I knew Kylie was setting a steady pace so that she can use the last of her energy to blast through the last hundredth length. They kicked off the wall again and began swimming to the other side. The Dartmouth girl was gaining an inch ahead of Kylie by now, but as they reached the other side of the wall, she had made a slow turn and Kylie shot off the wall with amazing speed and was now a body length ahead of her competitor.

Emily was already on the starting block and she dove in over Kylie as she touched her hand to the wall. Emily quickly surfaced after her underwater dolphin kicks and she swam at bullet speed in the water, gliding so effortlessly through the water as though there weren't any resistance. The other team was already half a pool length behind when Emily carried out a flip turn and propel through the water at such an incredible speed. She had won first place in the 200 Freestyle event earlier with her top time at 1:47.27. Second leg in the relay was always the second fastest. I was surprised that Coach Blair hadn't put her down as anchor for this relay. If he was hesitant about her abilities before, I'm pretty certain he isn't any more. Emily was now executing her third flip turn and making her way back to us.

I was so captivated by Emily's swimming that I hadn't even noticed that Shelby had already gotten onto the block. As soon as Emily's hand touched the wall, Shelby dove in over her head and swam fervently to keep the lead. I bent down to help Emily out of the water and she took off her goggles and swim cap, releasing her beautiful dark long tresses. She was breathing heavily and her face broke out into a triumphant smile as she turned back to the water. I return my attention back to the pool as well. The other team was catching up but was still about a yard behind.

I got up onto the starting block as I watched Shelby push off the wall on the other side. I slipped my swim goggles over my eyes, bending over and gripping onto the edge of the block as I looked out at the water and watch Shelby making her way towards me. I made sure Shelby had her palm flat against the wall before I dived in, just to be sure that I didn't make a false start and mess up the entire relay for us. Holding in my deep breath, I executed many underwater dolphin kicks and propelled my body forward through the water. As soon as I felt that I couldn't hold my breath any longer, I surfaced and lifted my head up to the side for air.

About three strokes in, I flipped and pushed off the wall with a powerful kick. I swam vigorously and speedily picked up the pace. As I neared the wall at the starting block, I pulled my legs up to my best and rolled up into a ball before flipping forward. Once my feet were planted onto the wall, I pushed with all the force that I can muster to propel myself forward in the other direction. I gave everything I had and swam like never before.

I felt time slow even though I was moving at full tilt in the water. It was such an incredible feeling. The rush. The anticipation. The moment that awaited me at the other end of the pool as I completed my last flip turn. I exerted all the energy I could muster into my strokes and kicks, and I fought against the struggle I felt deep inside me to slow down. I was exhausted. I was growing weak. I was incredibly sore. My muscles were aching. My body was threatening to give up. But my heart was still burning with passion. I saw the finish line. It was almost within reach. I swam fervently towards it. After six strokes, my hand was planted firmly against the wall and I surfaced out of the water to catch my breath.

"_And she finishes helping to set another record for U Penn's 800 Free Relay at 7:22.79!_" I heard the announcer call out over the speakers. "_Congratulations U Penn!_" were the last words I was able to hear before the shrieks and cries overwhelmed my ears. I rested my back against the wall and closed my eyes as I tried to regain my breathing. _We did it._

* * *

The natatorium was empty now. The Dartmouth swim team had left and the girls had showered and left to go celebrate too. The sun was beginning to set and the light was shining through the three tall windows before me. It felt so serene and peaceful now. The surface of the water reflected the sunlight up into the high ceilings of the natatorium and I watched as the light flicker decoratively in this empty chamber. I heard the entrance to the natatorium open and I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. My ears perked up to listen to the footsteps that were slowly making its way towards me. When the footsteps finally stopped beside me, I didn't turn around to glance at her.

"Are you okay?" she tentatively asked. I slightly nodded and felt all my fragile strength beginning to disappear. I tapped the space next to me on my right, gesturing for her to sit down beside me. She sat down at a leisurely pace and let her feet slip into the water next to mine. We sat in silence for a few moments before she reached out for my hand and placed something in it. I looked down to see what it was and saw that it was an earphone. She had one in her ear as well and she gestured for me to put it on. When I did, light music began to fill my right ear. I turned back to the water and listened.

_When you try your best, but you don't succeed…_

_When you get what you want, but not what you need…_

_When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep…_

_Stuck in reverse…_

_And the tears come streaming down your face…_

_When you lose something you can't replace…_

_When you love someone, but it goes to waste…_

_Could it be worse?_

_Lights will guide you home,_

_And ignite your bones,_

_And I will try to fix you._

_And high up above or down below…_

_When you're too in love to let it go…_

_But if you never try you'll never know…_

_Just what you're worth…_

_Lights will guide you home,_

_And ignite your bones,_

_And I will try to fix you._

_Tears stream down your face…_

_When you lose something you cannot replace…_

_Tears stream down your face…_

_And I..._

_Tears stream down your face…_

_I promise you I will learn from my mistakes…_

_Tears stream down your face…_

_And I..._

_Lights will guide you home,_

_And ignite your bones,_

_And I will try to fix you…_

I turn to look at her and found her staring at me. In the moment, I felt like all I could breathe was her life. What did I do to deserve this? Why was she so intent on fixing me when everything between us was meant to be broken?

"I…" I started but my eyes began welling up with tears, as I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt.

"I don't want you to _say_ it. I don't want you to _mean_ it. _I want you to listen_," she said. How did she know what I wanted to say? Can she read minds now?

Emily took out both of our earphones and set them down on the ground beside us. She turned back to me and took both of my hands in hers. Catching my gaze, I felt like she was looking right through me.

"This is killing me…and I _need_ to know that it's killing _you_ too. Every time that I look you in the eye, it's so hard to hold myself back from telling you how I really feel. Maybe we're made to be broken…but we're not meant to be _this _broken, Paige. _God damn it_… _Just let me love you, Paige. _" I began to see tears fill to the brim of her eyes as she struggled to contain herself.

I looked down at our intertwined hands and wonder how everything that has happened had brought me back to her. Running my thumb over the back of her hand, I slowly lifted up my gaze and found her staring at me longingly. I brought my other hand up to her face and caressed the soft skin there. She closed her eyes and leaned further into my touch as a tear fell down her face, and I slowly moved in to place a soft kiss on the corner of her lips where the tear had stopped. I pulled back a little and watch as her eyes slowly started to open again, glistening with so much hope and filled with an incredible unconditional love. She brought her hand to the back of my neck before we both began to slowly lean in, and my eyes flutter closed right before our lips met.

_Home_. That's what it felt like kissing Emily. _'…Home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.' _For some reason, Sir Oliver Wendell Holmes' words echoed so much rationality for this irrational fear that I felt inside my heart. _Home._ _I am finally home_. I felt like my heart wanted to cry out.

I let go of her hand and brought it up to caress the other side of her face, and she desperately pulled me further into the kiss with her grasp on my neck as her other hand began to intimately caress my right upper arm. Our lips parted and met again, then parted and came together once more. We slowed down the kiss, and my emotions stirred as my chest heaved because I wanted everything that her kiss would allow me to have. With eyes closed, I suddenly saw the stars in black and white. The image of our future flashing before my eyes. _A love that goes on even after the stars have died_. _Stars shining in black and white._ I gently pressed my lips against hers one last time before I completely pulled back to catch my breath.

Opening my eyes, I saw that hers were still closed, and her chest rose and then fell a little bit faster than normal. I heard her uneven breathing beginning to steady and I swallowed hard as she finally opened her eyes to look at me. Her eyes sparkled unrealistically, and the butterflies in my stomach caused my insides to churn intensely. All of a sudden, a realization hit home as the words someone once said to me came rushing back like waves over the shore.

_Butterflies are God's proof that there's a second chance at life._


	20. Chapter 20

_**Author's Note:**_** Hey all! It's been a while. I apologize for this overdue update and that it's short, but I've been very busy and unfortunately got stuck with writer's block. Rather than having you wait FOREVER for this, I figured I'd just put it up right now even though it's short. I **_**promise**_** I'll get to your reviews and respond to them in the next chapter! All those aside, please have a beautiful day ahead wherever you are! :) **

**Word Count: 3,170**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

My father once told me about _the ways of the world_. We had this conversation shortly after my coming out. It was his own approach of telling me that the natural courses of life were playing out as they should, and that I would be loved regardless of who I decided to settle down with. I hadn't completely understood it at first. _His reasoning,_ that was. But I think I do now. For when this moment was to come.

"I…" _I'm too broken to love_, she meant to say,as I discern the words through her eyes. It wasn't true. Nobody was ever too broken to love. But seeing her sitting there in tears, I couldn't help myself to stop her and put an end to this as the words escaped my lips.

"I don't want you to _say_ it. I don't want you to _mean_ it. _I want you to listen_," I jumped in and said. Slowly, I lifted my hand up to tug the little earphone out of her ear and then pulled mine out as well before setting them on the ground near us. Turning back to her, I slowly took in her brown orbs that remained glistening with tears that were frightening to fall. _Broken_ wasn't the right word for the moment. It was something more. It was _fear_. I thought I had previously understood why she was shying away from me. To protect me. But had she any idea that I didn't want that for myself? I just wanted _her_.

How was I to explain to her about the unspoken promises the world had made with me? That no matter what would happen in the future, things will finally fall together…because we were meant to be. That if she really desired for us to be together, the whole world would conspire in helping us achieve our destiny. But…I needed to know for sure it wasn't just me wanting _this_. I need to know that she wanted it too.

And so I fumbled for her hands and finally held them in mine, looking straight into her eyes as I laid out all of my cards for her to see.

"This is killing me…and I _need_ to know that it's killing _you_ too. Every time that I look you in the eye, it's so hard to hold myself back from telling you how I really feel. Maybe we're made to be broken…but we're not meant to be _this _broken, Paige. _God damn it_… _Just let me love you, Paige. _" I let out a breath when I finally finished my little impromptu speech. It was a shaky one, and I knew this because I felt shivers running through me. _Fear_. Was it the same as Paige's?

I watched as her gaze fell down to our interlace fingers, and I looked too before bringing my eyes back to her contemplative features. She appeared to be really lost in thoughts, but then I felt her thumb caressing the back of my hand. Slowly, she began to look up and I stared as her eyes finally travelled up the length of my upper body to my face and rested her gaze with mine. She freed one of her hands from my hold and lifted it up to the side of my face. _So soft_. Her hand, that was. I leaned further into her touch and closed my eyes, and a tear fell _almost_ without my knowing. I hadn't realized how emotional I felt at the time. I cursed inwardly for being so. It wasn't my intention to show her how heartbroken I truly was.

And then she kissed me. No, she kissed the corner of my mouth. _But she had kissed me_. My eyes fluttered open in surprise and I immediately noticed how close our faces were. When had this happened? How'd she get this close without my knowing?

I searched her eyes for the purpose of that kiss. Did this mean that she wanted _this _too? My question was answered when her eyes momentarily left mine to fall upon my lips and then quickly returned to my eyes. I steadily brought my free hand to the nape of her neck as my other hand lightly tightens its hold on hers to stop it from shaking.

I was gauging for any signs of hesitation or second thoughts, and when I saw none, I slowly leaned in and gently pressed my lips against hers. _So beautiful_. _So…heartbreakingly beautiful_. _Had she any idea of it at all? _I pulled back a little and leaned to the left and caught her lips again. I tried to pour all of my emotions into our kiss and it felt almost impossible to do so, because I wanted more. I wanted all of her. I wanted to have her pressed against me. I wanted to feel her heart beating against my chest. I wanted to lie in her arms as our bodies mold together perfectly. _I wanted…more._

She kissed me slowly, almost tentatively, and it scared me a little. What if this wasn't the beginning of everything? What if this was _the end_ of everything? We weren't walking the same path like we used to. We were no longer in high school. We weren't sitting by the window seat in my bedroom kissing to make up after Paige had a fake date with a guy. We were not somewhere in the woods hiding our relationship from the rest of the world. We were not the young naïve girls we were back then. This was more than that. This was… This was… This was something searing through my heart. _She was always in my heart_. That was it. It was a love that would last a lifetime. A love when I had loved her and that was enough. A love that goes on even when a heart remains broken. But she's here. She is here now…yet will she always be?

I wanted to ask. But…what would happen if I said it out loud? Was my whole world going to change if I decided to address my own uncertainties? I inevitably smiled into the kiss as I recalled the fond memories of us sitting in my bedroom. _If I say it out loud. If I say…I'm gay, the whole world is going to change_. Her words echoed in the back of my mind. _Yeah, it will_. I remember myself saying. How was this brave, strong girl still trembling beneath my touch? It was incredible, and beyond my own comprehension.

I felt her hand left mine and suddenly I felt a warm touch on the other side of my face. As she cradled my face gently in-between her hands, I lifted my free hand up to her upper arm and pulled her further into me, kissing her in great need, as though I was afraid it was the last time we'd ever kiss like this again. And all too soon, the kiss ended as she pulled away after laying a gentle kiss against my lips. I almost sighed in frustration but I didn't and held it in. It was frustrating how in control she was, but that thought flew out of the window the moment I heard her heavy breathing after she had pulled away.

Opening my eyes, I saw her staring at me. I didn't see any indication of regret and felt my heart continuing to race under my chest as hope seared through me. Our eyes stayed lock for a while and I couldn't believe that I was actually sitting here with her like this. Am I dreaming? Had she really kissed me? Two and a half years of incompleteness, and now _this_. It felt entirely surreal to be true.

"Can I have a second chance?" her voice pierced through the comfortable silence between us. I stared at her for a long while, taking in all of her features and remembering the feelings we once shared. The feelings I still cannot let go of. _A second chance._ Did she really need to ask? Could she not see how much I risked getting to this moment with her?

"_Yes_." I breathed out. I didn't understand why it had taken me so long to utter just that one word. But it wasn't a loose term. I had said it and understandingly going into something I probably will never get out of. I could've saved myself another heartbreak. I could've said _no_. I could've gone down the painful road for another decade or so, maybe even less time than that, and I would be okay again someday. Yet I knew that I couldn't say _no_ to this feeling. My heart wanted this. How many chances can I possibly have to feel the way that I do about her?

"Thank you. You don't…know how much that means to me." she uttered. Her eyes started to glisten with tears and I found myself in her embrace once again.

"Trust me, I do." I whispered into her ear. It meant a whole lot to me too.

* * *

I repressed the urge to growl as I continued to run up the stairs. _God, why were there so many steps? _I kept on climbing and breathing through my nose and out of the mouth. It took a bit more effort than I had previously thought to push myself up these stairs. I lifted my head up and took in a deep breath as I did so. Paige was about ten steps ahead of me and I could barely help myself as I stared at the tight muscles moving along with her up the stairs. Just as I was beginning to feel a little disoriented from the view I had of her, I almost tripped over the next step when I lifted up my leg to take the next step. I stumbled slowly up the next one from the quick adrenaline rush of almost falling over flat on my face up the stairs. I let out a breath of relief after holding it in for a couple of seconds, fearing that I might trip again.

"Come on Em, what's with the slow down? Go, go, go!" I heard Spencer yell from behind me. I rolled my eyes and tried to push myself a little harder. I couldn't afford to irritate Spencer right now seeing how eager she was to climb today. I looked up again and saw that Paige was already running down on the other side of the stairs with the bar handle separating the both of us. _God, why is she in such great shape?_ I sighed in utter admiration. Paige looked at me and smiled as she passes me by on the way down, and I felt my heart accomplished a small flutter. I looked down and watched my steps as I ran up the rest of the length of the stairs. When I finally got to the top and began running down the other side of the stairs, I saw Spencer staring me down and I giggled at her silly keenness over this exercise. Sammie was just about five steps behind her and I caught her smirking at me as I ran pass her. I rolled my eyes once more at her insinuation, fully knowing that I had been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. What? I couldn't help that my eyes would wander on their own and gravitate towards Paige.

I looked up to see how far I was down and saw that the team was already stretching near the bottom of the bleachers or warming up on the field. Paige and Sammie had talked both Spencer and me into joining the school's intramural sports program. We were now conditioning to play co-ed college intramural flag football. I was looking forward to it because I really wanted to see some action such monotonous days passing by with studying and going to classes. Except _somebody_ had failed to mention about the details about conditioning to me. Spencer had taken it quite well and was sweeping the floor during our first week. This was our second week in, and she was already on edge and spent most of the time wiping the guys out. Her favorite target was Charley. He was a big burly guy with spiked dirty blond hair. Quite the charmer too. Until he pummeled Paige to the ground on the first day of conditioning. I hadn't taken it too well, but Spencer on the other hand… She literally became his walking nightmare after that day. The girls and I would laugh after every time she "instinctively", as Spencer had put into words, tackled him down and taking his flags. It was supposed to be a no-touch football game, but we really didn't mind being pushed around a bit here and there to lighten things up and make the game more entertaining. If I didn't know any better, I would've speculated that Charley like being roughed up a bit by Spencer. He seemed to be enjoying any physical contact with Spencer, and I truly didn't know whether to find it disturbing or not.

As I neared the bottom of the stairs, I try to look for Paige and saw her swiftly throwing the football towards Charley, and he threw himself to the right to catch it before landing down on his right side. I heard her melodious laugh as I ran off the stairs and onto the track before I slowed to a stop. I couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy as my chest heaved from climbing the stairs for the past fifteen minutes. It was just _Charley_. The tall, hot, burly, charming guy. He was a _guy_ for god's sake. I sighed and turned to walk near the bleachers and began to do leg stretches. I placed the heel of my foot on the bleacher and leaned forward to stretch my hamstrings. Just as I was about to switch legs, I heard heavy breathing and footsteps coming towards me. I looked up to see Spencer and Sammie making their way towards me.

"You look like sex," Sammie said offhandedly as she moved to stretch her legs next to me. I stared at her in confusion and looked back to Spencer for some answers. _Clearly_, they were talking about me and I _had_ to find out what it was.

"Don't look at me, that was _all_ her." she said and raised her hands in defense. I looked back to Sammie and raised an eyebrow at her in question.

"Oh, I don't know, the picture of you covered in sweat right now and seeing you staring at Paige's ass earlier, doesn't all of that add up to what I just said?" Sammie asked in a sweet and innocent voice, but the moment she winked totally threw that naïve impression out of the window.

I took my right heel off of the bleacher and started to give chase, but she was already on her feet and running towards Paige and Charley.

"You're such a pansy! Come back here, you wimp!" I yelled as I ran after her. She laughed heartily and continued to run as I chased her in circles. I noticed Paige staring at us in amusement from the corner of my eye. I smiled inwardly and carried on running after Sammie, but she was faster than me on feet and I groan in frustration as she had me running around the football field. I finally gave up when she was already halfway across the field and I began walking over to Paige. Charley had left her side and she was standing alone and crossing her arms across her chest as she watched me stride over to where she was.

"What was that about?" she questioned as I stepped in front of her. I rolled my eyes and turned to search for the little coward disguised in a pretty blonde human form. I saw her standing by the bleachers and talking with Spencer and Charley. _Ah, so that's where he went. _

I turned back and smiled at Paige, and I felt like mush beneath her gaze. She was still staring at me and waiting for an answer. I let out a sigh and tried not to let my frustration show. Sammie was only speaking the truth. Ever the since Paige and I had made up after the Dartmouth swim meet three months, she's been dead set on taking things slow. I was fine with it at first and when a month went by and we had gone back to Rosewood for our one-month winter break, she was still unbending on her decision. Hanna persistently teased me about it and Aria was always there to comfort me after Hanna's teasing. Spencer mostly stayed quiet throughout those conversations, and I didn't know whether to be grateful or not for the absence of her input on the topic.

_Three months_. Something must be really wrong with me, right? Why was I so easily frustrated? We really hadn't gotten anywhere besides kissing and holding hands. Paige seemed entirely content with the pace of our relationship. I didn't understand why, but I felt too embarrassed to ask. We've never really spoken about it. It was just her slowly but surely inching me away from her when our make out sessions got too heated. At least, I had picked up on _that_.

I felt Paige grasp my hand and I suddenly snapped back from my thoughts to see her staring at me with concern. I smiled at her again and leaned in to give her a slow kiss. I pulled back and saw that she still had her eyes closed and I lifted up my free hand and touched her nose with my index finger. She opened her eyes, and smiled adorably my way.

"She was just teasing me about some things..." I said before pouting. She leaned in and captured my lips, and I melted under her touch. I sighed into the kiss and wrapped my arms around her neck before pressing my body against hers. She moaned into my mouth and I felt her hands running up and down my sides and pulling me closer. We were so lost in the kiss and forgot we were in a public setting until I heard a throat cleared. She broke away and her lips parted from mine, before we both turned to see that the entire team was watching at us with Spencer staring at us expectantly and Sammie smirking. I looked back to Paige at the same time that she stared at me, and we both broke out in laughter and apologized before we ran into our prearranged formation. I dropped down low and crouched in a defensive position. When I looked up, I found Paige smiling at me and I returned one of my own before the conditioning game officially began. I guess I could settle for that right now.


	21. Chapter 21

_**Author's Note:**_** Hey folks! I wrote this up in some sort of frenzy, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. Just changing things up a bit. It was really fun to write! :) Anyway, I hope you're all having a good week so far. Cheers to the weekends! **

**Brian1127: **Thank you so much for you kind words! :) It's just amateur writing, you know? No need to be jealous of anything. I have utter respect and admiration for people who chooses to write and publish it publicly. Kudos to you! Thank you so much for the six stars for chapter 19! That is a lot of stars…and I really appreciate the over-the-top rating. Hahaha Also, thank you so much for your words of encouragement and telling me to keep writing. I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as I enjoyed writing it, and have a wonderful day!

**Emsy:** Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'm quite humbled by the nice things you had to say about me. You're pretty awesome yourself. I hope you like this chapter and I'll look forward to hearing from you next time. Please have a nice day! :)

**cmart91cm:** Crystal, I loved that you enjoy me using Emily's line from the PLL show for Paige in this story. I wanted to bring back a sense of familiarity for both of the characters, but also be able to create my own idiosyncratic qualities for the two of them :) I'm so glad I've got you laughing too. I thought it was an amusing scene to write. I didn't like Lena's hands on Paige _at all _when I actually reread what I wrote. Hahaha Thank you for coming back to read and review! I haven't gotten a chance to catch up with all the other Paily fanfics yet, but I hope you're still writing. :) Hope you enjoy this chapter, and I wish you a wonderful day ahead!

**Nacray:** Thank you for sending your love and review for chapter 19. I will try my best to keep up with the "intense moments" as I possibly can. I hope that you'll enjoy this chapter as well. Please have a nice day! :)

**Jamscottroc54:** Well, well, well. If it isn't the troublemaker who's always threatening the lives of my characters. ;) I'm glad I've gotten to you as well as I have. It's been a pleasure to have you come back to read and review every time. Do you, like, _literally_ write comments/remarks as you're reading? I mean, I can't ever remember being that descriptive and recalling so many parts while I review other fanfics. lol I'm glad I made you cry. It's such a wonderful feeling. *sighs* hahahaha I hope you'll enjoy this chapter, little one. Can't wait to hear from you soon. :)

**Jes Angell:** Thank you so much reading and reviewing! Um…Paily feels?! Really? You felt it? ;D That is _so_ exciting! I'm kind-of giddy knowing I gave you a little scare there. Thank you so much for your kind words! I _try_ to write Paily to the best of my abilities. :) I'll see what I can do about your requests for more scenes like that in the future chapters. I hope you enjoy this segment! Have a wonderful day! :)

**Mysunshine:** Hello! I felt a bit speechless by the end of your review. ;) Thank you so much for your kind words. English isn't your native language? Are you kidding me? I wouldn't have been able to tell if you didn't tell me. What is your native language then? Thank you so much for commenting on the swim meet. I felt like it was a very intense scene to write, and I tried to incorporate as much detail as I can so that the scene can come alive through my writing. :) Well, I really hope you enjoy this chapter, and I wish you a wonderful day!

**JessRawrs:** Thank you for coming back to read and review! :) It is my pleasure to write this story and I'm really glad that you love it. To answer your question, I don't draw anything for this story from personal experience. It's all fiction. :) I'm glad that I've made it appear _real _enough for you though. Thank you for telling me that, because it makes me very happy to know of it. :) I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please have a beautiful day ahead!

**Del:** I am completely in love with the ending of chapter 19 as well. I think that's got to be one of my favorite phrases, and it was _so _perfect to use at the end of that chapter. Thank you so much for coming back to read and review, and always for being so understanding about the updates. I really appreciate your support and patience with this story. It's truly amazing that you've stick it out this long with me, Del. ;) I'm so glad that chapter 20 didn't disappoint as well. I hope that you enjoy this chapter. Have a beautiful day ahead! :)

**Marmoreck:** Hi Juliette! It's really nice to hear from you! I'm really glad you're enjoying the two previous chapters. I'm pleased that you love Emily's little impromptu speech in chapter 19. It was a bit emotional to write, and I'm happy that the emotions got through the writing. :) I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a lovely day!

**Rain'sMistress:** Thank you for coming back to read and reviewing, Teddy. I enjoy the few quotes I used in chapter 19 as well, especially the last phrase at the end of the chapter. Thank you so much for your kind words, Teddy. Can't wait to hear back from you soon. Until then. :)

**Cici:** I do _try _to draw some distinctive qualities of the PLL character and bring them into this story. It _is _fan fiction after all, right? ;) I love that you're able to able to draw out scenes that relates it back to the show. It's truly my intention. :) I felt like I was writing for you when I wrote this chapter, and I hope it doesn't disappoint. You had a lot of inquiries before, and now I'm answering some of them…although you keep on bringing more and more questions to the table. Hahahaha I surely hope you enjoy this chapter, and please, have a wonderful day! :)

**MindFullofStories:** I felt like I had to throw the word Paily in _somewhere_. Hahaha It was fun! Oh god, you're going to threaten to stab another one of my characters now? From a scale of 1-10, how infuriated were you when Lena tried to seduce Paige? ;) Thank you so much for coming back to read and review, Lil! I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a pleasant day ahead! :)

**Sazar:** You fangirl screamed?! No way! hahahahaa That is so funny to hear coming from you, since you always seem so calm and collected. :p I'm glad the coming back together scene worked out well. I was hoping it did, and I can feel relieved now hearing that from you. I feel like I'm in the same boat with you. I didn't think this story was going to have this much reception and be received so well. :) Thank you for always coming back to read, review, and support this story. It still truly means a lot to me. I hope that you enjoy this chapter, and please have a lovely day ahead!

**Gigabyte1:** I'm happy I can keep you entertained on your train rides, Arantxa. :) It's definitely my pleasure to be able to write this story. I'm glad you found chapter 19 to be a sweet chapter. I hope to write more of those in the future. ;) I also hope that you enjoy this chapter. Please have a good day ahead! :)

**Hipnos7777:** You're very observant and raise a lot of good questions, and I think this chapter will answer some of them. Hahahaha I do hope that you enjoy it, Anna. Thank you so much for coming back to read and review. It's always so nice hearing from you. :) I wish you a beautiful day ahead!

**Pokiepup:** Hey, no grumpyface allowed here if you don't update! :p I'm glad that my writing makes you get lost in the story. It is so incredibly humbling to hear those words from you. Thank you so much for your kind words, Michelle. :) This chapter is the usual length. I hope you enjoy the chapter, and please have a wonderful day!

**Paily lover:** How on earth can you stand reading chapter 19 four times?! That is crazy, Jamie! Well, _happy panda_, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Patience is a virtue, and you earned this. ;) I hope it doesn't disappoint. Thank so much for coming back to read and review every time! Please have a good day! :)

**bamary:** Thank you so much for coming back to read and review! I'm curious though, where are you from? :) Is there a name I can address you by the next time you review? I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I wish you a good day! :)

**Nae10:** Missed you too, Nae! I've been busy and have been itching to write, of course. :) Glad you thought the chapter was good even though it was short. ;) I hope you enjoy this chapter too! Can't wait to hear from you again. :) Have a beautiful day!

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Paige's POV**

I knocked on the door and waited patiently as footsteps neared. After a few seconds, I heard the door open and I smiled as Dr. Sullivan came into view.

"Hey Dr. Sullivan," I smiled as I sidestepped her to get into the room. After I settled down in the couch, I looked up to see that she was still standing by the door and shaking her head at me.

"Now Paige, how many times have I told you to call me Anne?" she smiled before striding over to the lone chair facing the sofa and sitting down unhurriedly.

"Old habits die hard." I shrugged and then took a glance around her office. It was spacious and organized. Every part of the room appeared to have been given meticulous attention to. The room was mostly white and elegantly furnished with black and grey furniture. It created a certain calm ambiance, and if one added Dr. Sullivan's character to the place, the room was completed with just the right amount of comfort.

"Well, shall we get started then?" Dr. Sullivan pulled me out of my thoughts. I turned to look at her and slightly nodded before shifting a bit in my seat to get cozy. She looked at me expectantly to go on and I grinned for a while to gather my thoughts before I started speaking.

"I had a swim meet two days ago, and we won most of the events." I beamed but try to stay calm and collected in my seat.

"Congratulations, and how does that make you feel?" she inquired.

"Great, of course! I also helped set two new records for my school!" I exclaimed excitedly. She smiled at me and observed me with curious eyes.

"Did you go celebrate afterwards?" she asked.

"Yeah… We did…" I breathed out.

_The girls had already left to get seats at Allegro Pizza and that had left Emily and me alone in the natatorium. That moment we shared together was forever ingrained in my memories. It was everything I've ever wanted…and more. _

_I hadn't realized how lucky I was until I opened my eyes to stare at her while she was still lost in our kiss. I breathed out heavily as she opened her eyes. I'd never met a person who could express so much emotion with their eyes. Looking into her eyes, I really couldn't find it in myself believe that she still loves me. I finally realized that after all this time I had hurt her and right before I could plead for her forgiveness, I could see it in her eyes that she's already given it to me. _

"_Can I have a second chance?" I hesitantly asked even though I felt I knew the answer to my rhetorical question. I searched her eyes for any signs of reluctance and doubt, but I saw that they were nonexistent in her brown orbs._

_As I stared at her, hours must've passed before I finally heard the faintest whisper from her, "Yes."_

"_Thank you. You don't…know how much that means to me." I expressed. My emotions got to the point where I felt incredibly overwhelmed, and I pulled her into my arms as I held onto her with all the strength that I could muster. _

"_Trust me, I do." she spoke softly into my ear. I buried my face into her beautiful brown tresses and inhaled her scent. I smiled as the familiar smell of faint lavender and sweet vanilla mixed with chlorine filled my nostrils. I sighed contently and loosen my hold on Emily. She pulled back all the way as her hands trailed from my shoulders, down the length of my arms, and finally held onto my hands. I looked up to find her eyes and she smiled shyly before glancing down briefly. I pulled one of my hands out of her hold and lifted it up to rest my fingers beneath her chin. Slowly, I lifted her chin up so that I could catch her eyes again. I saw the blush creeping up her neck and it finally consumed her cheeks when she allowed her eyes to rest upon mine. _

"_Don't look away." I whispered the words she used to always tell me. She opened her mouth slightly and let out a quivering breath. I slowly leaned in and my eyes dropped down to her lips momentarily before I brought them back up to stare at her. She leaned her head to the right a bit and her eyes never faltered as she inched forward towards me. We were merely a breath away, and I finally leaned in and closed the small gap between us, capturing her lips with mine. _

_My heart soared as I held her lips in place. I begin to feel her kissing me back and our lips started to move in sync as I felt her hand snaked around my neck to pull me closer. I followed her lead and moved in, while my hands found their way to the hem of her t-shirt. The fabric material bunched in my hands as I tried to restrain myself from pouncing on her. Not here. As I felt myself beginning to struggle with control, I reluctantly pulled away and rested my forehead against hers. We were both panting and with eyes closed, I couldn't imagine how I'd deal if I was to see the sight of her breathing heavily. We gradually regained our normal breathing again and I finally opened my eyes to see that hers were still closed. I pulled her into my arms as she rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my middle. Leaning down, I kissed the top of her head and rested my head on top of hers. My arms wrapped around her shoulders, and I closed my eyes to breathe out a contented sigh. She moved slightly in my arms and I looked down to see if she was comfortable. Before I could ask, I heard her let out a happy sigh of her own. I smiled and kissed the top of her head once more. _

"_You're so adorable." I cooed. She lifted her head up and I looked down to meet her smiling eyes. I watched as she bit down on her bottom lip, and I felt myself immediately swooned at the sight. _

"_Can we just…go home and watch a movie? I mean, I know you might want to celebrate after setting two new records, but – " I swooped down and kissed her as she mumbled against my mouth before the words died upon her lips. I pulled away and smiled at her lovingly._

"_Yes." I answered before I leaned in and brushed my lips against hers again, and I glowed as she smiled against my lips too. _

"That's good. You seem to be in a much more _cheerful_ mood than the last time I saw you. How are you dealing with the stress of school and swimming?" Dr. Sullivan question snapped me out of my half-conscious state.

"It's alright, I suppose. Honestly, the pressure that I'm dealing with right now is almost _nothing _compared to what I had to handle during high school." I admitted. The memories of my high school days came flooding back, and I winced at the recollection of my younger days when I felt the overwhelming stress with my dad's expectations of who I was to become. I looked over to Dr. Sullivan and saw her nodding slowly and trying to process my words carefully.

"I remember. You were a bundle of nerves back then." she let out a small laugh. I grinned and remembered back to the first couple of visits I had with her.

"I'm better now. Or at least, I think I am." I smiled.

"Any new addictions since the last time I saw you?" she wrote in her notes as she asked me. _Emily_. I gulped as the thoughts invaded my mind. I tried to push them back, seeing that it was a little inappropriate to have such thoughts while I was here. Who was I kidding? I could tell Dr. Sullivan that I've been seeing a figure in a monstrous rabbit costume like Donny Darko, and she wouldn't even deemed that as anything inappropriate.

"Paige?" Dr. Sullivan said my name and I looked up to see her staring at me expectantly.

"Oh. No. Well…yes…but…no?" I answered confusingly. Dr. Sullivan raised both eyebrows and stared at me, expecting for me to go on and give her an explanation, but the words wouldn't come out at all.

"Is it a drug addiction?" she questioned me. I shook my head in response.

"Is it a sexual addiction?" Dr. Sullivan decided to ask. My eyes widened in surprise and I shake my head vehemently.

"Oh God, no!" I laughed while she smiled at me.

"_Paige_, are you having sexual intercourse?" she asked me. My eyes must've bulged out of my eye sockets by now as I let out an incredulous laugh. Before I could open my mouth to respond, Dr. Sullivan went on, "It's okay, Paige. There's nothing wrong with admitting to having sex. Remember, this is just one of the routine questions." I blinked quickly several times before I could gather my thoughts together. _God, two years and I'm still not used to these unambiguous questions._

"Well, actually…" Crap, how do I explain this to her?

"Go on." she said to give me a little push. I sighed and slumped back against the sofa.

"Emily and I are back together. Since the meet two days ago." I admitted to her.

"Emily Fields?" she asked. I nodded to affirm her inquiry. "And are you and…_Emily_ having sex?" My eyes widened once more, face flushing, and I looked at her as if she just asked the most ridiculous question.

"N-no, we're not…" I mumbled but I was pretty certain she heard me since my voice seemed to be bouncing off the walls in this spacious room with only two occupants in it.

"So, no addiction, correct?" I nodded and she went back to writing notes. I looked away briefly and let out an uneasy breath.

"Do you want to tell me about Emily?" Dr. Sullivan asked. I returned my gaze to where she was sitting, and I thought about it for a moment before I nodded. I looked down at my hands that were now fumbling around from my nerves.

"I'm scared." I whispered while I let my gaze remain on my entwined hands.

"What is it are you scared of, dear?" she spoke softly.

"_Everything_." I responded. I finally looked up to see her observing me.

"It isn't _like_ you to be fearful, Paige. In fact, I'm not sure if it's a good thing…if Emily shows up and makes you feel this way." she noted. My next breath shudder as my mind processed her words. _Emily wasn't good for me?_

"I don't understand. W-why?" I stuttered.

"This…_fear_ you currently feel…it _could _escalate and incite your condition. Schizophrenics have are known to have chronic fears, Paige. It is one of the symptoms." she explained in an uncomplicated way.

"Are you suggesting that I stop seeing Emily?" I asked. My voice cracked towards the end of the question.

"No, I'm not suggesting anything. How about we explore this and see why you're scared of _everything_, alright? Tell me to the best of your abilities what exactly it is that you're afraid of." she said sincerely.

"I don't know… I just feel so…_overwhelmed_ whenever she's around, I guess. I'm not sure if it is even fear for myself. I might be scared for her. What if God decides to take me back? How will she cope with my loss? What if it's just _temporary bliss_?" I went on almost like it was a childish prattle.

"Paige, we don't know if you've developed schizophrenia. At this point, I wish I could go ahead and proclaim that you are schizophrenia-free, but that would be very unprofessional of me to do so." She paused for a moment before continuing, "I've been observing you for a long time, and although we haven't reached a conclusion yet, you are safe right now." she spoke candidly.

"I know... It's just…_I can't help it_. That's how my thought process and emotions seems to be working lately." _In overdrive too_. I sighed while I leaned back into the cushioned sofa.

"Now, now, don't go sulking back into that depressive state. Although it _truly _concerns me that you're constantly thinking about the repercussions of your actions, _especially where Emily is concerned_, I'm also aware that this might take some time getting used to. I suggest that you let the emotions ride out for a little bit, and then you can decide what's best for you and your partner, alright? Does Emily know about your condition?" Dr. Sullivan inquired. I nodded and then sighed.

"Good. May I suggest, it wouldn't be a bad idea to share these _fears _you have with her." she said as I watched her scribbling away in her notebook. I looked away briefly while nodding at her suggestion. _I guess_. _We'll see_.

"I'm not particularly worried about your diet seeing that you are a swimmer. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss with me?" Dr. Sullivan asked as her eyes softened.

"_How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood_?" I asked after a few moments of silence and smiled innocently.

"_A woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could if a woodchuck could chuck wood_." she smiled at me as my jaw dropped when she answered the riddle. No one's ever done that ever.

"Anything else you'd like to add, Miss McCullers?" she playfully asked.

"No, Dr. Sullivan. Am I free to go?" I smiled. She lifted up her wrist and looked at the time before glancing up at me and nodded. We both stood up and she walked me to the door before telling me about the date and time of my appointment in the next month.

As I walked out to my car, I reflected on our conversation and felt like a heavy weight has been lifted, even though I still feel a hint of anxiety. I just needed to have a more positive outlook on this whole situation. My phone suddenly beeped and I took it out of my pocket to see a text message.

_**Wanna grab coffee with me at L&M? – Spencer**_

I smiled and quickly typed out a message.

_**I'm in Rosewood. About to drive back. Meet you there in an hour?**_

I sent the message and opened my car door to get into the driver's seat. After the starting the car, I began my drive out of Rosewood. About ten minutes into the drive back to Philly, I heard my phone beeped to alert me that there was a new text message.

_**I shall wait patiently before I see you. – Keats **_

I laughed as I read her text message. Spencer was anything but patient. I typed back a response.

_**Don't try too hard to wait "patiently". See you in a bit. **_

The rest of the drive back to University City was filled with thoughts and reflections about my session with Dr. Sullivan. I couldn't help but think about what she said of Emily the entire way. _What if being in a relationship with Emily was causing the adverse effect for my condition?_

* * *

I walked into Lovers & Madmen and headed straight for the counter where Melanie was standing behind.

"The usual?" she asked and I nodded. She went ahead and started on my coffee while I looked around the coffee shop to see if Spencer was already seated. As predicted, she was already settled in at the far end near the corner inside of the coffee shop. She was staring at me and smiling, and I nodded to acknowledge her greeting. I turned around and saw that Melanie was still making her way over to me. I gave her the exact amount of the coffee and she told me that it was no problem and she'd bring my drink over. I thanked her and began striding over to where Spencer was.

"How long have you been waiting?" I asked as I sat down and set my bag to the side on the table.

"Not long." she responded before bringing the cup of coffee to her face. She sipped it slowly and then licked the foam off the corner of her lips. I felt a tad bit uneasy at the action and looked away briefly. Just on cue, Melanie came over and set my cup of coffee down onto the table. She winked at me before returning to the spot behind the counter. I glanced back at Spencer and saw her watching Melanie walk back to her coffee making station. She must've noticed me staring, so she looked back at me and smiled awkwardly.

"I'm kind-of jealous. Melanie always brings your coffee over to you, but _I_ have to grab it for myself from the counter." she sighed as she lifted up the cup and took another sip of coffee.

"That's because you don't make conversations with her. Or try to be _nice_." I gladly pointed out to Spencer. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Not everyone could be perfect like you." she muttered before looking away. _Okay… That was… Um… _I faked a cough and ran a hand through my hair.

"How were your morning classes?" I asked to steer us away from the small tension that loomed over us.

"Fine. Good. Great. Superb." she nodded as she answered, every word dripping with sarcasm. I laughed at her attempt to sound excited and hide her resentment for her Friday morning classes.

"I went to see Dr. Sullivan today." I shared with her. She looked at me curiously and then brought the coffee up to her face again to take another sip.

"How was it?" she asked as she set down the cup and cradled it in her hands.

"I had a somewhat stimulating discussion with her." I said.

"What about?" Spencer inquired. I hesitated for a moment before answering.

"Emily." I finally admitted.

"_Oh_." she said before looking down at the cup of coffee in-between her hands. I suddenly felt bad for sharing that with her. I had some suspicions about her feelings when she told me that things hadn't worked out between her and Dan. I was glad that they were still able to remain friends. Dan was great about it. I've spoken to him and he said he felt Spencer already had someone in her heart. I had only hope he never found out _who _and that he'd be able to move on. It took a few months, but he finally started dating again, which I am quite thankful for.

"Spencer… This isn't going to get out of hand, right?" I asked with a little bit uncertainty out of nervousness. I stared at her until she finally looked at me. The defeated look in her eyes did nothing to resolve my anxious feelings.

"I want to tell, Emily." she confessed. I stared blankly at her for a moment and blinked several times before I could come up with a few coherent words.

"_You…do_?" I asked cautiously. _She does?_

"I don't know how she'll react…but it's been eating at me for a while now. She has the right to know. Especially since we're all living under the same roof. I just…feel so bad keeping this from her…for who knows how long." she uttered before she dug the palm of her hands into her eyes and covering up her face. She looked like she wanted to sob on the spot, but I knew better than to think that Spencer would actually burst out crying in public. I also knew that she was trying very hard not to. I sighed at this knowledge and reached over to caress her upper arm to comfort her as best as I could.

"It'll be alright. Well, I _hope_ it'll be alright. You girls have grown up together and have been friends for so long. Knowing Emily, I'm sure we both know that she'll forgive you. Uh, I mean, not that there's anything to forgive…" I tried to make a save for it. _Shit_. _Come on, Paige. Can't you be a bit more sensitive? _

"No, you're right. It's _Emily_ after all." she said as she cradled the cup of coffee in-between her hands again before bringing it up and taking a sip. I pulled my hand away and grabbed my coffee to drink too. We sat there silently, and I wondered if any of us were going to speak up again.

"I want you to be there when I tell her." her voice pierced through the silence between us.

"Are you sure? Wouldn't that be, I don't know, _awkward_?" I asked uncertainly. She gave me a contemplative look before shrugging her shoulders. I stared at her expectantly and she rolled her eyes at me.

"_Fine_, I'll talk to her _alone_." she sighed as she said this.

"Good, because I don't think I can handle being sandwiched between the two of you." I let out an awkward laugh. Spencer quirked an eyebrow and then shake her head, as though to dismiss whatever thought she was thinking.

"Can I ask you something?" Spencer asked tentatively.

"Ask away." I said for her to go on.

"If…Emily never…would we…?" she gestured a hand between the both of us to complete what she was trying to say.

"Uh…wow. Um…well…_no_?" I managed to utter. I blushed as I struggled to form clear words. I found myself looking at the floor in embarrassment. I heard her sigh from where I sat, and I slowly glanced up to see that she had her head in her hands as her elbows rested on the table.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I heard her mutter over and over from across the table.

"I know… I'm sorry too." I whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

"I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry." Spencer lifted up her head to face me as she apologized.

"You don't have to apologize, Spence. But…maybe aside from flag football, you and I should hang out…less?" I suggested.

"No!" she quickly exclaimed. "I could get over _this_. Just…give me some time, okay?" she pleaded. _More time? It's been over half a year already! _

"There's more to this than you're letting on. Is this something about Emily? Did she – "

"No, this…has nothing to do with Emily." Spencer let out a breath of frustration. _What the hell was going on with her?_

"Spencer, please, can you just spare the both of us this roundabout trip and get straight to the point?" I asked impatiently.

"I just…don't want to think about it, _alright_? I… Emily's been through _so much_, Paige. She doesn't deserve this. I feel like I've been betraying her the moment these _feelings_ occurred. Honestly, _I'm scared_. I'm scared I'll lose her as a friend. I'm scared she'll _hurt _over this _silly _thing I feel. I'm scared _this_ will hurt her. You don't know _how much_ you mean to her, Paige… Her heart's been aching since the day you left, and I've never seen her so devastated before…and so hurt for such a long time…not since Maya left. Then you come walking in with all your brilliance, saving the day, and making Emily Fields smile again. I'd hate to be the one to take _that_ all away. _She loves you_. _Only you_. You're _everything_ to her. _Do you get it?_ Do you understand how damaging _these feelings_ I have could be for the rest of us? I know _her_, Paige. I grew up with her. And now, I'm _living_ with her." Spencer spoke frantically and her voice cracked at the last word as she looked down with a crestfallen expression. I winced from the pain I heard in her voice and wished that I could somehow make all of the hurt disappear. She was hurting for her best friend. This is who Spencer was. Always charging forward and taking the bullet, never minding the pain it would cause her. After a few moments of silence, I decided to speak up.

"This might sound crazy, but I had the same exact conversation with Dr. Sullivan earlier." I offered the words to comfort her. She slowly lifted up her head, teary eyed, and looked me straight in the eyes.

"_How?_" she whispered.

"_I'm scared I'll hurt her too_." I revealed.

Spencer and I sat there in silence for the remaining of our time in the coffee shop. I couldn't muster up the courage to go on any more. We were both hurting, and for once, I felt like I have had enough words said in a day.

* * *

A slight movement startled and woke me up, and I immediately opened my eyes from the small disturbance. I took in my surroundings and realization set in as I remembered that I was watching a movie with Emily. I currently was lying on my back with my head resting on Emily's lap in the dark room. I looked to my left and realized that the movie we were watching was still playing.

"Sorry," she whispered as she bends over and places the cup of water back onto the coffee table. I smiled sleepily at her before I turned to lie on my right side and nuzzled my face into her soft flat stomach that was covered with a thin cotton t-shirt. I heard her giggle for a second before I felt one of her hands lightly running through my hair. I sighed in contentment and breathed in her glorious scent before exhaling with a deep satisfaction from within. I sensed her move again and then I felt her kiss my left temple. I smiled into her body and kissed the lower part of her fabric-covered abdominal muscles before turning slightly left to look up at her. Emily sensually licked her lips before she leaned down and kissed me sideways. She pulled away after several seconds and placed her hand on my hip before caressing my left side as she looked at me lovingly. We smiled at each other and I lazily lay there staring at her, while she went back to watching the movie.

It's been about…a little over a month, and Emily and I are slowly taking off and letting our relationship lift into flight. It was really interesting to see how some of her quirks remained the same while others have changed. She still bites her bottom lip when she's nervous or anxious to say what's on her mind. She doesn't enjoy oranges any more. Her favorite color is pink now. She still loves to read before she goes to bed. She still runs, but her favorite time to do it is right before the sunset. She likes Neapolitan milkshakes and ice cream, and would not be as happy having one flavor alone. She enjoys walks around the neighborhood at night. And finally, Emily now has a large collection of heels in her tiny closet.

Emily told me that I've changed a lot too since high school. She tells me that I'm more graceful when I walk now. I apparently have grown two inches since we've last seen each other two and a half years ago, putting me about an inch taller than her. She says I'm still _a bit_ oblivious when it comes to people's attraction to me. I still run every morning. She likes that I'm more comfortable with who I am now. She enjoys it when I cook for her, which is something slightly new because she used to be the one that loved cooking for the both of us. She laughed when she found out that I now not only loathe clothes shopping but have a strong aversion to grocery shopping as well. I actually didn't mind it as much whenever she accompanies me now. Lastly, Emily is still quite fond of me serenading her when we're both alone.

I like the gradual pace of our relationship. At times, Emily seems to be having a hard time restraining herself and her hand would wander to intimate places, but I'd always stop her before things got too out of hand. It's not that I didn't _want_ to. I just felt like our relationship was still very new and fragile, and the other reason was that I _couldn't_ until I fully convinced myself that I was completely open to accepting that she _could _live without me someday _if _that day ever comes.

* * *

Another month has gone by, and Emily and I are now in Rosewood for the holidays and the rest of winter break. We've only settled back in town for less than a week, and already we have been going back and forth to each other's houses to have dinner with our parents. The Fields' home was always so welcoming. They accepted me into their home even though I've hurt them all so much. Pam was the first to take me into her arms and whispered words of comfort, support, and encouragement after finding out about my condition. My heart melted as I found myself being loved by her as if I was her own child. I remember Emily standing only a few feet away with her arms wrapped around Wayne's middle when I was pulled into her mother's embrace. They both stood in place and stared at us with loving eyes, and the candles that flickered in the living room only helped rouse the spirit of love in their warm home. I remember thinking that _I never wanted to leave again. _

Back at my house, mom had taken it upon herself to cook festive dishes for dinner, while dad sat Emily down and have her recount all of her swim seasons at Danby and U Penn. I split my time between the living room, where Emily and dad were talking over glasses of wine, and the kitchen, where mom was taking out all of her prepped recipes and putting them together. We cooked and joked with one another as the candlelight flickered at the dining table in the room next door. When we heard dad and Emily's melodious laugh from the other side of the house, mom and I both looked at one another and smiled knowingly. We've all missed having Emily over for family dinner, especially dad since he really enjoyed talking about swimming with her. Emily always had a way with recounting stories. Storytelling with her always seemed to be so enchanting. In the moment, I felt like _I never wanted her to leave_.

It was now our sixth day in Rosewood when the girls wanted to hang out with Emily and me. We all agreed to meet at The Grille and have lunch together. Emily and I arrived together in her car, whereas the three girls plus one Caleb came in Spencer's car. It was noon by the time that we all sat down at a table together. Caleb and I sat across from each other, while our girlfriends sat next to us. Spencer sat down to Hanna's right and with Aria sitting across from her and to Emily's left. We all order our food and drinks at once because we were all quite ravenous and most of us skipped breakfast except for Spencer and Aria. We all smiled at each other while we settled in our seats and eased back into our chairs.

"_So_," Hanna started before continuing, "Who's been doing who? I want to know when, where, why, how, and _what_ exactly happened." she smiled mischievously.

"Hanna!" both Emily and Aria chastised her. Spencer rolled her eyes and smiled at Hanna's antics of breaking the ice, and Caleb sighed and looked over to me with a knowing smile. I grinned back and mouthed "_Lucky you_." He playfully scowled at me before turning to his girlfriend and putting his arm around her.

"Hanna, subtlety is surely not your thing. Let's have someone else start the group discussion, okay?" Caleb asked her sweetly. She pretended to pout and folded her arms across her chest, and then he leaned in to give her a quick peck. She smiled instantly and nodded in compliance to his request. "Anyone else want to give it a go?" he asked.

"Well…Ezra asked me to marry him." Aria shared excitedly. The other three girls screamed in exhilaration and we all stood up to go over to hug and congratulate her. _Marriage already_. I smiled inwardly as I let myself daydream standing next to Emily in her wedding dress.

"Oh my God, Aria! That is so exciting!" Hanna gushed before she turned to her left and smack Caleb on his right upper arm. "And _you_ told me _subtlety is not my thing!_ Look at her! She's _branded_ by Fitz. With an engagement ring!" she exclaimed before wearing a playful jealous look. Caleb rolled his eyes and glanced over to the ring on Aria's finger. I chose to do so at the same moment and suddenly realized how pretty and antique it was. Aria suddenly shied back into her seat and begins playing around with the ring on her finger.

"It's his grandmother's ring." Aria shared with us and I noticed how much she was glowing from the fact that it was an inherited gift.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me first! How can you keep a secret like that from us?" Hanna pouted again. _She was right though. How did I not notice that Aria was glowing before this?_

"Well, he only proposed _last night_…and we stayed in until this morning…" Aria blushed as she vaguely told us what happened. We all grinned from ear to ear, and Hanna looked like she was about to jump up and down like an energetic bunny in her seat.

I glanced over to look at Emily and saw that she was already staring at me. I smiled and leaned in to kiss her briefly. When we parted, her eyes began to flutter open and she looked completely bedazzle with such a simple gesture of affection. We returned our attention to the table where the rest of the gang was discussing dress shopping and wedding preparations that was happening in the next year before Aria asked the table to go silent.

"Spencer, I'd really like you to be my maid of honor. You've always been my emotional lifeboat, and I really don't think I could walk down the aisle without you by my side." Aria said to Spencer before looking around the table for any signs of disapproval. When she saw none, she looked back to see that Spencer still wore her stunned expression. It took her a few moments but she finally spoke.

"_Yes_. Yes, I'll be your emotional and logistical support. I'm incredibly humbled to be your honor attendant." Spencer said as a tear fell down her face. Aria reached over and put her hand over Spencer's, and they shared a beautiful friendship moment that no one dared to interrupt.

We all smiled for a while before our eyes widen when we saw the waitrons making their way towards our table with food. After we began to dig in, Hanna went on and on about wanting to be the working bee to lead the bridesmaid troupe through their duties, and Spencer finally gave in and let Hanna take the reigns but only asking Aria before doing so. Aria simply nodded and rolled her eyes, since she must've known that Hanna would not let it go.

I looked over to Emily and wondered what role she wanted to play in her best friend's wedding. Emily seemed to have a daze look on her face, and I watched as the corner of her lips lifted up a little at whatever thought that was running through her mind. I reached for her hand under the table and intertwined our fingers, and she quickly glanced over at me in surprise. I quirked an eyebrow to silently question where her mind had wandered, but she just shook her head and mouthed, "_Tell you later_." She smiled at me before turning back to engage in the conversation between the other three girls. I continue to let the pad of my thumb run over the back of her hand, and looked over at Caleb.

"So…I heard about your…uh…_condition_." Caleb began the conversation nervously. I smiled to let him know that it wasn't a big deal. Well, it was. But I didn't want him worrying about it for no cause.

"Yeah, I'm good. No worries, Caleb. I heard you're trying to start up a tech company?" I asked. He grinned and lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck.

"Like you heard, I'm _trying_." he added.

"With talent and skill like yours, I'm sure it won't be long before you actually own a tech company or two sometime soon." I remarked truthfully before bring the glass of water up to my lips and taking a sip. Caleb nodded timidly before shifting once or twice in his seat.

"What are your plans after college?" he asked me. I shrugged my shoulders and smiled joyfully.

"Anything that makes me happy, really. I hope to have a swimming career in the near future. If that doesn't work out for me, I'm going to try to get into law school." I answered. He looked at me thoughtfully and then nodded slightly.

"Not much of a life you're living if you don't do the things that makes you happy, huh?" he asked the rhetorical question.

"Nope, not really a life worth living if I don't get to do things that makes me happy." I responded anyways. Somehow, that stuck with me. _Not really a life worth living? Doing things that makes me happy? Where was all of this coming from?_

"You're welcome." Caleb said with a tiny glint in his eyes that would've escaped my notice had I not been looking him straight in the eye.

"Thank you." I found myself saying back. _Why was I suddenly thanking him?_

Lunch with the girls and Caleb ended all too soon, and we were all making plans to meet up again the next day at Spencer's house to have a movie marathon together. Emily was driving us back to her house where we were going to spend the rest of our day together, and maybe go for a run if we were still in the mood for it.

"What were you and Caleb talking about earlier?" Emily asked me out of the blue.

"Nothing inappropriate." I answered teasingly and watched as she glanced over to me with a pout on her face.

"_Fine_, don't tell me. I won't tell you what I was thinking about earlier either." she threatened.

"Okay, okay." I gave in and rolled my eyes before answering, "Caleb was just asking me about the future. What I want to do after school and whatnot. Now it's your turn. What were you thinking about earlier?" I immediately asked. Emily was silent for a few moments, and I was really starting to get curious about what she was thinking.

"The future. _Our _future. Together." Emily revealed. _Ah. Right. Our future_. "I'm not scaring you, am I? I mean, I do think about our future together but nothing too serious." she frantically said after a few moments of silence between us. I guess my silence had unnerved her quite a bit.

"No, no. It's just… You've really thought about _your future_…with me in it?" I tentatively asked.

"Of course!" she quickly said, but then a frown crept onto her face. "Oh no…you haven't…have you? Oh god…" Emily delved back into her worry self again.

"No, Em. I have. Truthfully, I'm glad you have too." I said to reassure her. But even so, she stayed silent for the rest of the drive home.

Emily pulled into the parking spot in the driveway, put the gear into park, and turned off the engine before looking down at her hands on her lap. I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached over and took a hold of one of her hands before bringing it over to rest our hands on my lap. I stared at her and waited until she lifted up her gaze to meet mine. I smiled genuinely at her to show that I truly meant what I said. I heard her sigh in relief and I leaned in to give her a soft kiss. I pulled back only slightly and let my other hand rest on her cheek.

"Please don't doubt me. I _do_ envision a future with you." I said to her. She leaned into my touch and closed her eyes. I watched with restful eyes as I took in all of her beauty. I leaned in again and sealed my words with a kiss. It was only when she kissed me back that I finally understood why I had recognized Caleb's blessings from earlier.

_She makes me happy._

* * *

_I love her._ The realization struck me as we lay in her bed. Emily was about half asleep and was cuddling into my left side. I pulled her closer to me and turned to lie on my left side to face her. She looked so sweet and innocent, eyes barely open and a lazy smile graced her lips. I wrapped my arm around her, putting my palm on the small of lower back as I pulled her into me. Emily inched over a bit before I moved in and rested my hand on her upper arm as we both lay on our sides. I brought my hand up to her face and moved a few strands of hair to tuck them behind her ear. She closed her eyes and hummed softly before nuzzling into my neck and wrapping her arm around my middle and letting out a sigh. My hand then moved towards the back of her head and I ran my fingers through her long dark tresses in the moonlit room.

Today marked the third month of our rekindled relationship. A lot of things have happened for the both of us, and we barely struggled through our schedules to see each other between school and swimming. It was really nice that we swam and live together, or else I wouldn't know how I'd be coping without seeing her as much as I do now juggling school and other extracurricular activities. Emily has also taken it upon herself to volunteer at a non-profit private organization that helps families and individuals with low income and spends about three hours every Thursdays doing that after classes. While Emily's off trying to save the world, I've been shadowing Veronica and Melissa Hastings with Spencer and Sammie to learn more about their work as lawyers. With our busy schedules with school and extracurricular activities, we've also managed to find free time slots to include intramural co-ed flag football into our lives, and today was one of those days.

It was an incredibly fun day out on the fields this afternoon. We were two weeks into our conditioning, and everyone's mostly worn out by now. Well, _almost _everyone. Spencer Hastings truly lived up to her acquired surname. She and Emily were getting along quite well with the other players as newcomers. A lot of guys had taken a liking to them, seeing that they were the hot new faces around, and boy had it been fun to watch their expressions when they found out Emily's preference for girls. Everyone had been really cool with her like they had been with me, and Spencer had ended up overindulging from all the attention of the male players as a result. None of them seemed to appeal to Spencer, but they kept making passes at her anyway. Spencer made it very clear that she was _not_ in the slightest interested whenever we were on the field playing conditioning games though, and managed to scare most of them away. She definitely made sure the boys knew their places and know not to mess with her on the field. There was always an exception in every case though. There's still one guy who couldn't resist her fierce, competitive Hastings charm. _Charley Lutz. _He was a strong and burly blonde, and dare I say quite attractive. He'd let her pummel him at any opportunity there was, and Sammie and I would give each other knowing looks from across the field. That boy was totally swooning over a Hastings, and Spencer had no idea whatsoever. It was quite amusing to watch them play.

Sammie and I never took the game as seriously as Spencer and Emily did, but that didn't stop us from trying to pin the girls down and grab their flags whenever we got the chance. Sometimes, I'd just sneak up behind Emily for fun and wrap my arms around her middle before lifting her up into the air and spin us around in circles. She'd laugh and slap my arms to put her down, and I'd relish in the perfect moments after I did. _I'd always get a kiss from Emily Fields._

"What are you thinking about?" I heard her mumble into my neck. I pulled away a little to find her beautiful brown orbs. I smiled when I did, as she looked at me sleepily.

"How did you know that I was thinking of anything at all?" I wondered aloud. She smiled before blinking several times to keep her eyes open.

"_I know you_." she plainly said.

"Are you sure?" I asked teasingly. She nodded lightly before letting her eyes close. I leaned in and lay a gentle kiss on both of her eyelids.

"So what were you thinking about?" she asked again even with eyes closed. I smiled and wanted to shake my head at the curious girl in my arms. How she could still be so curious while being so sleepy was something I'd truly never wanted to understand. It was a beauty of hers that I could never truly fathom. Well, more like a woman's heart that is hard to fathom, but nonetheless, I enjoy the mystery of not knowing.

"You. Me. Everything." I uttered. She decided at that moment to open her eyes, and I saw her brown orbs filled with questions she daren't ask.

"I feel like I've had this conversation with you before. Is it another one of those déjà vu?" she questioned. I smiled and stared lovingly into her eyes.

"Maybe we had. Maybe we haven't. Even so, _everything could never be the same_." I answered. She seemed more awake now after I said this.

"How about _us_? Will we always remain the same?" she asked with a hopeful smile. I returned the smile and leaned in to kiss her on the lips.

"_No_. Our love will always be ever-changing." _An ethereal love that is so unworldly, the two of us will be the only ones to understand it. _

"How can you be so sure?" she hesitantly asked. I looked at her for a long time before I brought my hand up to caress the side of her face.

"Because _love_ was something I first felt with you." I leaned in to kiss her. "And I just know in my heart…" I paused and pressed my lips against hers again. "That _love_ will be something that'll _last_ only with you…even though the circumstances have changed a bit and we're two completely different people from who we were back then. Our love will grow and change with us." I finished. She stared intently into my eyes and I couldn't help but wonder what the million emotions behind those eyes were right now.

"_I love you too_." I heard Emily whisper before she sealed our love with a sweet kiss.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: I apologize for not updating this in the past few months. I got sucked into the Bellice fanfiction world and have been reading and writing for that section of this fanfic site instead. I'll try to update this again **_**when**_** I can. I felt like I could've just left the last chapter as an ending to the story, but I think people wouldn't like that and it'd be nice to actually explore Paily's stable relationship right now. Also, I'd like to add that I wouldn't be writing long chapters from here on out. There are lots of things going on, and I'm also working on another fanfic at the moment. I hope you'll all enjoy these short little spurts anyway, if not, it's been really an amazing experience having your support for the last 21 chapters. This chapter is mostly about me getting back into writing Paily again. It might be odd. I have YET to read another Paily fanfic in a looooong time, so I hope the Paily feels I wrote for this chapter is up to par. Enjoy! :) **

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

_**The next morning…**_

The sunlight streaming into the bedroom caused me to stir slightly in my sleep. After several moments of hoping that it'd somehow go away, I finally spun onto my right side so that my back was facing the sunlight instead of having the rays of light splash into my face. Almost a second later, an arm I hadn't recalled encircling my middle tightened around me and I instinctively cuddled closer towards the warmth emanating from the body lying next to me. I breathed in the faint strawberry scent and reached blindingly for the front of _her_ shirt. When I finally had a grip of the cotton fabric, I tried to pull her closer to me but it was an unsuccessful attempt. Paige removed her arm from around me and the bed shifted a little before I felt the cover draped over me completely. There were slight movements for a few more seconds and soon Paige began pulling me close to her again.

"Thanks," I mumbled into her neck as I nuzzled closer.

"Go back to sleep. We don't have classes until noon." Paige whispered as I felt her lips against my temple. I moaned slightly from the lovely sensation it brought on, and shifted as close to her as I possibly can. Before I knew it, the lights went out again and I was back in my dreamland.

I looked away shyly as I accidentally walked in on Paige still in her bra but with maroon skintight jeans on to cover most of her skin from the waist down. I could've sworn she looked the same from over the years, but always seeing her covered up with clothes, I wasn't able to see the entire contour of her drop-dead gorgeous toned body. As hard as I tried, I couldn't stop myself from glancing back at her a few times.

"You done looking me over from where you are, honey?" Paige teased me. I felt the heat coming and consuming the entirety of my face and I immediately looked down in embarrassment.

"_Tease_." I muttered under my breath before counting to ten and looking up again to see her dressed in a nicely fitted white V-neck. She was running a brush through her hair and began tying a lose braid to one side. I looked over at the digital clock sitting on her study desk and noted that it was still half an hour until we both had to leave for classes. As I returned my gaze back to Paige, she was now patting down her clothes and turning back and forth while looking in the mirror to double-check her appearance.

"You look great, now let's go get coffee before class starts." I speedily said. She rolled her eyes at me, and then grabbed the messenger bag on the chair beside her study desk and guided me out of her bedroom. I followed and picked up my bag on the way through the living room, and we both walked out of the front door together as she turned around to lock the door. After going over the lock to ensure that it was secure, Paige put her keys into her messenger bag and grabbed my hand as she leaded me away from our apartment.

We walked at a leisure pace from the apartment right across the street to our school and then strolled through the many courtyards to the café on campus. I wasn't sure if she felt the same way, but I was just relishing in the moment of walking hand in hand with the girl I love. I just…didn't think it was possible to be this happy again. It felt like it was just yesterday that I feared letting go of my memories of her, because I was afraid I wouldn't have a second chance to feel anything_ that_ amazing again. Yet here I am. Holding my lover's hand.

"Do you remember those days when I'd come over to _The Brew_ after school and stayed until you got off work?" Paige asked out of the blue. I blinked several times to process what she was saying and then nodded while turning to face her as we continued walking.

"Yeah, what about it?" I asked in return. She suddenly smiled and looked up into the sky, and I watched as the sun bathes her with its glorious light.

"I used to come home," she paused and swallowed before she had on an amused expression on her features and continued, "and smelt like I had spent all day working in a coffee shop. The smell would cling to _almost _all of my clothes until my bedroom smelt of coffee beans." Paige laughed and then stared at me with twinkling eyes. "I felt like _such_ a lovesick fool, staying and waiting for you almost every day." I looked at her in wonderment and suddenly felt oblivious to how well she'd treated me back then. I guess all I ever thought about were the bad memories when she was gone from my life for two and a half years. I'd almost forgotten all those good days we had together as well.

"Well, would it make you feel better if I told you _I _feel like a '_lovesick fool_' right now?" I asked with the most charming smile that I could summon. Paige bit her lower lip and looked at me with one of her pensive expressions. She had a few actually.

"It wouldn't make me feel _better_ per se…" she finally said and before I could get in a word, she stopped me. "I'd feel _complete_." Paige smiled my way and we began our walk again.

Before I even had enough time to process all of her words, we had arrived at the school's café and she held the door as I walked in. There was a short line inside and we began to make our way towards the lineup. Paige let go of my hand as she began to open her messenger bag to grab her wallet. I put my hand on top of hers and gave her a wink.

"_My treat_." I said flirtingly and saw that she was about to process before I went on, "For all those days I had you waiting for me at the coffee shop." She smiled in appreciation and nodded as the line moved rather quickly. Soon enough, we had both gotten our drinks and I walked her to her business law class and gave her hand a gentle squeeze before I headed over to the psychology department for my lecture.

It was definitely one of the most interesting starts to a day thus far.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Really happy to see that some old readers are coming back. Hope you all enjoy the update! **

_**Jamilliah:**_You can always expect the _unexpected_ from me, young grasshopper. I _do_ expect you to put your weapons away for good too. :)

_**Delphine:**_ Thanks so much for your sweet words! :) I'm just trying to get back into this while I can. It's entirely different from the writing style I use for another story, so it's a bit difficult coming back. I'm hoping that my writing is still the same as before. Hope to hear from you again!

_**Anna:**_ I'm really glad that you don't mind these short chapters. I'm just trying to write when I can, and usually there isn't enough time to write as much as I could before. Thanks for the review! :)

_**Brian1127:**_ Of all my old readers, I was _really_ surprised to see you come back and review. Thanks so much for your encouraging words! I will try my best to write well. :)

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Paige's POV**

Emily's been acting a little strange lately. _A good kind of strange._ If I didn't knew any better, I'd feel like she was stuck in the honeymoon phase of our relationship. It was sweet. _Beautiful_ even. I felt her feelings emanating off onto me as well, and I tried to keep myself in check. I mean, it was to the point where I'd hear a sweet melody and I'll close my eyes, envisioning a future together for us, as sappy as that might sound.

I shook my head as I returned my attention back to the laptop screen. She was currently in the shower, and I was trying to add some last finishing touches onto my business law paper. It was already March and Spring break was fast approaching. A lot of things in my life have started to fall into a nice routine. Classes, spending time with Emily, exams, studying, intramural sports, and learning the legal profession along with my good friends, Spencer and Sammie. It was almost eerie how easy things have been lately except for the exams. It was a challenge each and every day to get to class when all I wanted to do was stay in bed with Emily. It was like a whole other world. We fitted so…_perfectly_ together.

As I heard the water in the bathroom down across the hall stop running, I saved the document on my laptop and closed it before placing portable microcomputer on the side of my study desk. I stood up and walked the distance to my bedroom door and leaned against its frame while I cross my arms across my chest as I waited patiently. About three minutes later, Emily emerged from the bathroom in a towel-clad body with water disappearing beneath places covered with the thin piece of fabric material. Her eyes widened as she saw me and her features quickly turned into a smirk as she walked towards me daringly and backed me into my own room. I took a few steps back as she got closer and it was now my turn to feel surprised.

"_Um_…" I swallowed a dry lump in my throat and blinked frantically as I tried to find words to question what she was doing. The back of my knees hit the edge of my bed and my eyes looked around in panic as I tried to find a way out. When I returned my gaze to her face, I saw that she was biting her lower lip as she scanned me from head to toe. I let out a shallow breath and tried not to let my eyes wander down her scantily covered body. _Gorgeous body_, might I add.

"_What were you doing?_" she asked almost seductively as she leaned close and wrapped her arms around my neck. I tried my best not to look down but temptation took over and my eyes fell to the top of her chest. I fought back the groan that threatened to escape, and try as hard as I did to find her eyes again.

"_Nothing_." I lied through my teeth, but I knew Emily could tell since she quirked an eyebrow at me. I let out a sigh of frustration and then dropped my head down to her shoulder in defeat. Her sweet soft-skin shoulder. _Why must everything about her be so darn perfect?_

"It didn't seem like _nothing_ to me." Emily teased as I felt her breath tickling my ear. I decided to wrap my arms around her waist and turned my head to the side so that I was facing the side of her neck. Leaning in, I kissed a small spot where her neck connected with her shoulder and I felt her shudder slightly. I smiled as I felt comforted by the fact that I wasn't the only one in our relationship affected by these simple touches and gestures. Her fingers traced circles on my back for a few seconds before she gently pushed my shoulders back and looked me in the eyes.

"I got to go get dressed, then we'll go eat, yeah?" Emily leaned in and kissed me briefly before slipping out of my bedroom and leaving me standing there in confusion. It took me almost half a minute before I felt my feet moving towards the closet and finding some simple apparel to put on.

_Girl sure knows how to make an exit, _I thought before chuckling to myself.

* * *

Emily glared at the back of our waitron's figure as they walk away from our table, and I couldn't help but lightly laugh at her. She turned around and glanced at me before staring me down as well.

"_What?_ I didn't do anything!" I whined as she stared at me in a reprimanding posture, arms crossed and a small scowl evident on her beautiful features. _She looked incredibly sexy wearing jealousy._

"Exactly! You didn't _do_ anything!" Emily retorted. I rolled my eyes before letting out a defeated sigh. I heard Emily let out a huff of her own and looked over to see that she had a pout on now.

"But you already know that _you're_ the only onethat I want to be with." I stared at her earnestly before her small scowl disappeared and she uncrossed her arms. Emily reached over and placed her left hand on top of my right before looking straight into my eyes.

"_Do I?_" Emily whispered and I turned my palm over before taking her hand and bringing it up to my lips.

"_You do now_." I softly spoke as I pressed my lips to the back of her hand. Our eyes stayed lock as I withdrew from her and let go of her hand.

"Eat." I ordered as I began to pick up my knife and fork. She picked up her utensils as well and started to cut into the grilled chicken covered with the restaurant's house-made BBQ sauce. I chewed on the piece of rib eye I had just cut for myself and then watched as she gracefully brought the small slice of chicken to her delicate mouth. Emily chewed almost sensually as we stared at each other from across the candlelit table, and I tried not to lose it when she let out a small moan.

"_Such a tease_." I murmured before the beautiful girl sitting across from me began to fall into a fit of giggles.

It was again another lovely night with the same beautiful girl who had my heart completely. I wouldn't have preferred to spend the night any other way, as long as she'd have me.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Wrote this one up real quick, so. Enjoy! :)**

_**BokononCradle: **_Didn't you know that _Tease_ was my middle name? ;)

_**OTHangels:**_ Thanks for the kind word! :)

_**Delphine:**_ I'm glad you enjoyed the previous chapter and think that my writing is still the same. I hope you like this one as well. :)

_**Jes Angell:**_ I try. I got to make it up somehow for it being short, you know? ;)

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

"_I love you_." I whispered against her lips before trailing kisses along her jawline. Paige whimpered and her hands tried to break free from my hold above her head as I pressed my lower body down onto hers.

"_Em_…" Paige moaned as I grinded my center atop hers. I brought my lips back to hers to silence her words as I continued to press myself into her. I pulled back and looked longingly into her eyes, not stopping the rotation of my hips as I watched the sensual expressions that appeared and disappeared right before my eyes.

"_Tell me to stop_." I finally submitted. I knew that she wasn't ready for us to get this physical, but I couldn't stop myself. I needed her to tell me to. I needed her to stop me.

Paige's lidded eyes failed her as she tried to keep them open. She had barely let out a small groan before we heard a gasp. My head made a sharp turn to my bedroom's door and there stood my best friend.

"Sorry, I was just – " Spencer stopped midsentence as another head popped through the door.

"_What's going…on?_ Whoa! You two are finally going at it?" Sammie asked excitedly as Paige suddenly sat upright with me in her lap. I let go of Paige's hand and then buried my reddened face into the crooked of Paige's neck and let out a sigh.

_Well, at least someone stopped me. _

"No, we were just…" Paige trailed off before I heard footsteps moving farther away and out of our bedroom.

"_Oh sure_, just pretend we didn't even walk in here. _Please. Continue_." I heard Sammie teased us before her footsteps left my bedroom and a click of the door sounded right after. Paige let out a sigh and I felt her hands on my back, caressing the bare skin on my back before she began to fumble with the strap of my lacey bra.

"_Paige!_" I groaned before I pulled back and pushed her arms away.

"_What?_ Isn't this what _you_ wanted?" Paige teased me. I looked at her uneasily before dropping my gaze down to her bare middle where her shirt had rode up. I let out a sigh before I looked back up at her.

"You know we can't…not with Spence and Sammie home." I explained anyway. She nodded before an impish smile came upon her features.

"You should've locked your door." Paige teased me before leaning in and gave me a brief kiss and brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"So what if I did? You would've stopped us eventually." I sighed. Paige chuckled and started to reach for my dress that was on the floor. I held onto her shoulders to keep my balance on her lap in my bed as she did, and when she finally had it in her hand, I went to grab for it but she just pulled it away from my reach.

"You're not going to put _it_ back on, are you?" Paige asked curiously. I shook my head no and then took the floral dress out of her hand before lifting myself off of her. Climbing off the bed, I walked over to one of my dressers and took out an oversized shirt and slipped it on before throwing the dress into my dirty laundry basket.

After returning from the little candlelight dinner at a restaurant Paige has been singing praises about for weeks, we headed back to our apartment and things somehow escalated to _this_.

I walked over to Paige and pulled her up onto her feet before leading her out of my bedroom. We walked into the living room where we found Spencer and Sammie bending over one of their laptops.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked as I walked over with Paige and made her sit down before I sat on her lap. Paige wrapped her arms around my middle and rested her chin on top of my shoulder, and I smiled inwardly at the small gesture. Spencer looked up at us and then let her eyes run quickly over my form before letting out a small chuckle.

"We're looking at the data for a case we're supposed to analyze." Spencer smiled before she returned her gaze back to the screen. Sammie finally took her eyes away from the laptop and smiled at us before a smirk formed on her lips.

"_Don't you start, Samantha_." Paige cut in before the words even escaped Sammie's opened mouth. Sammie laughed before shaking her head.

"I was just going to say how adorable you guys look together." Sammie said as she rolled her eyes and looked back at the small document opened on the laptop.

"Oh right, I was about to tell you that Hanna and Aria will be coming for the weekend...until I saw _you know what_ with _you know who_." Spencer said as she gestured towards Paige. She stood up and then handed me her phone. I read the text that Aria had sent her and I gave her back her phone.

"So we're going dress shopping this weekend?" I asked. Spencer nodded and I heard Paige groan from behind me.

"Is it alright if I skip out? I _think_ I have a paper to write." Paige tried to make an excuse. Sammie and I laughed at her as Spencer shook her head back and forth.

"No. This is for Aria's wedding. You can't just '_skip _out' on dress shopping." I said before I heard her groan again.

"Plus, I'd _love_ to see you in a dress." I winked at Sammie and she threw her head back laughing and Spencer smiled at us.

"I thought you'd love to see me in a _birthday suit_, but I guess that's fine too." Paige said nonchalantly before I felt a wave of heat wash over me, reddening my features. The girls laughed as I turned into a tomato. I twisted around in Paige's arm before smacking her shoulder and hiding my face in her neck.

"_You're so mean!_" I grumbled before I felt her body shake again as she chuckled.

Just for that, I'm going to make sure Paige tries on at least twenty dresses this weekend. She'll wish she knew better than to tease me like that ever again. I smiled triumphantly as I kept my face buried in her neck.

_I can't wait._


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: _Three updates in 24 hours?! What!_ ;) Just getting these shorts out while I still can. Enjoy!**

_**Nae: **_I'm glad you're still enjoying the story so far. How cuter can they get right? ;)

_**Jamillah:**_ Yes, Spencer, why? Hahahaha I thought Paige was pretty funny too. She was just being silly. Reminds me of a certain someone… ;)

_**Brian1127:**_I'm a natural at teasing people if you haven't caught on yet. ;) We'll see if something exciting will happen. Keep your fingers crossed!

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Paige's POV**

_Shopping has got to be one of life's worst experiences. Ever. _

I do not understand how Emily and the girls can enjoy shopping this much. _Was there something wrong with me?_ Or are these girls just _really_ that into this kind of activity?

I opened my eyes and stared outside the window, watching as car after car lined up in three lanes on the entire highway. We were _finally_ on our way to get dinner, but of course thanks to _my_ luck, we're now stuck in traffic. Spencer was driving while Hanna sat shaking her head and dancing to the loud music in the passenger seat. I sat right behind Spencer, Emily was in the middle, and Aria was sitting right behind Hanna. It was already dark outside and quickly approaching seven in the evening. How on Earth these girls can shop for nearly _twelve hours_ was _really_ beyond me. I couldn't even grasp the idea that I was with them for _that_ long as well, _and _Emily had tortured me into trying over forty or fifty dresses today.

_It was insane_.

I let out a sigh as I realized that I'd never have to go dress shopping again since I've gotten that out of my system. We were all going to wear the same color dresses but with different designs. The dress I've gotten was decided by all four of the girls. I rolled my eyes as I remembered how they _intentionally _disagreed on the third dress I tried on, only to have me put it on again after I had gone through another forty or so different dresses. I had the feeling they were all ganging up on me, but I had no proof for it. I was so sure that it must've been Emily's idea. _It just had to be her. _I mean, who else would benefit from my horrible dress shopping experience?

I heard Emily chuckle to my right and I turned to see what it was about. She was talking to Aria about the wedding dress, and I let out a sigh as I tried to block out their conversation. _Please, no more dresses!_

The car suddenly came to a stop and I looked outside to see that we've finally arrived at a French restaurant Spencer had recommended. I hadn't realized I was zoning out for that long until we've arrived. We all stepped out of the car and I watched as Spencer handed over her keys to the valet attendant. We walked into the restaurant and were quickly led to a table Spencer had called in to reserve for the five of us. After sitting down, I glanced around to see that the restaurant had dimmed the lights to set a certain ambiance. It was elegant to say the least.

I began to look through the menu before I felt a hand rest on top of my right thigh. I put my hand over Emily's as I felt her turned her palm over and then squeeze my hand gently. I looked over at her to my right and saw that her brows were knitted as she scanned the menu. I looked back at mine and then realized what the problem was.

"You want me to order for you?" I asked her. Emily looked over at me in surprise and then nodded shyly.

"Anything in particular? Beef? Lamb? Chicken?" I listed a few things. She had on a thoughtful expression before turning back to me with twinkling eyes.

"You decide." Emily finally said. I turned back to look over the menu before I decided on two entrées. Our waiter finally came back after getting us our drinks and Spencer proceeded to order in French for herself and Aria. Spencer turned to me and I could tell that she was about to ask if I needed help, but I looked over at the waiter and ordered for Emily and myself in French as well. When I finished, I heard a groan to my left.

"_Hello?_ Do I not exist to you people or something?" Hanna rolled her eyes as she thrust the menu towards Spencer. Aria, Spencer, Emily, and I chuckled before Spencer went ahead and order a plate of _Mirin Glazed Salmon with Corn Anglaise, Rhubarb and Risotto Croquettes_ for her. She also decided to add on a _Truffle Hamachi Tartar_ to our list of appetizers before letting the waiter excuse himself from our table.

It was about a thirty-minute wait for the main courses to finally come out, although the appetizers had arrived twenty minutes before them. I had ordered the _Sturgeon Wellington with Chanterelles, Red Wine Miso, and Potato Mille-Feuille_ for Emily and I had the _Braised Duck Breast with Pomegranate and Walnut_. Spencer ordered the _Pan Roasted Beef Tenderloin_ and Aria had the restaurant's _Duck Salsify Soup_. Hanna seemed ecstatic about the seafood Spencer had ordered for her, and everyone enjoyed the meal quietly with small chats here and there.

Emily was the first to stop eating, and I noticed because she had laid her hand right on top of my thigh once again. At first it was just an innocent gesture, which I happily welcomed, but then of course with Emily's recent behaviors, I felt like a fool for thinking that she would not _try_ something like she had in the dressing room earlier today. I squirmed in my seat as her hand started moving further and further up my leg. I turned and glared at the side of Emily's head, since she was pretending that nothing was going on underneath our table. I put down my fork and then carefully reached under the table to remove her hand, but she made a grab for my thigh causing me to squeak aloud. The other girls looked over at me strangely while Emily had a triumphant grin. I muttered an apology, quickly explaining that I thought I'd drop my knife. I looked down embarrassingly and then let out a shuddering breath when Emily's hand started traveling up my leg again.

"_Are you okay?_" she asked me innocently.

I looked over to see her staring at me now, but with a more intense look. I cautiously let my eyes wander to the other girls, finally feeling relieved that they were deeply engrossed in a conversation about the wedding details. My gaze returned to Emily and I saw her biting her lower lip before I felt her hand trailing _very_ close to my center. My eyes widened in surprise when she gave my inner thigh a gentle squeeze and then I felt her hand disappeared all of a sudden. My eyes shut closed in relief and I fell back in my seat. _God, she's trying to kill me or something._

Before I knew it, I had excused myself from the table before heading to the restroom. Staring at myself in the mirror, I began to wonder what it was that kept me holding back from Emily's advances. I knew she was trying to give me my space, but I think that even _her _patience was running out by this point in time. I heard the door to the lady's room open and I straightened up from my bent over posture, only to see the mirror's reflection of Emily in one of her pretty floral dresses with a leather jacket covering her bare upper body. She walked over to me and then wrapped her arms around my waist from behind.

"_Sorry_." Emily whispered after she had placed her lips near my ear. I let out an unsteady breath before suddenly turning around in her arms and then captured her lips. She moaned at my aggressive behavior and pulled me closer until our bodies were pressed tight against one another. I placed my hands on the back of her head and leaned in closer so that I had every part of her lips against mine. Emily gasped and I took this opportunity to slip my tongue into her mouth. She moaned again at the sudden intrusion, this time more loudly, and I reversed us so that she was pressed against the counter with the washbasins. As I kissed her passionately, I grabbed her hands from behind me and moved them to the back of my neck before I reached down to hold her hips with a tight grip. She moved against me and I let one of my hands trail down her leg before lifting up the hem of her dress and sliding my hand up her bare outer thigh. She kissed me senseless as I felt my hand rising higher and higher until I felt the lace of her panties. I pulled back and tried to catch my breath and saw that she still had her eyes closed. I leaned in again and kissed her gently, letting my other hand trail up the other side of her other thigh. When it reached the top of her hips, my hands folded back and I grasped her bottom.

"_Wow, thongs?_" I asked breathlessly when I pulled back from our kiss. Emily looked away shyly and I leaned in and pecked her flush cheek. My heart was beating so fast but I just couldn't care about that. _She looked so beautiful_. Emily slowly turned her head back and stared into my eyes before nodding and biting her lower lip.

"_Um…is that okay?_" she asked shyly. I rolled my eyes at her before leaning in and kissing her briefly.

"_It's sexy_." I responded with a seductive undertone before I leaned down and nipped at the base of her neck. She threw her head back even further and moaned as I bit down and then slowly ran my tongue over the small wound.

"_Oh God, Paige_…" Emily moaned as I squeezed her bosom, and then I daringly smacked her bottom as I bit down on her neck once more. She gasped in surprise and I smiled against her neck before trailing kisses up to her lips. Before I could get to them, the bathroom door swung open and Emily and I immediately pulled apart. Emily had quickly turned around and pretended to fix her hair as I leaned in and turned on the faucet to wash my hands.

An elder lady walked by us and into one of the bathroom stalls, and I let out a small sigh of relief. I looked back in the mirror and caught Emily's eyes as she began to smooth out her floral dress. She continued to stare at me longingly after I had dried my hands and I quickly walked over and took one of her hands.

"Come on, the girls will be wondering why we're taking so long." I said before leaning in to give her a quick peck on the lips. Emily frowned but then I turned around to lead us out of the bathroom with her hand in mine. When we got back to the table, the girls all looked at us knowingly and Emily ducked her head, blushing furiously. I chuckled before I bent over and gave her a peck on her cheek to comfort the beautiful bashful girl. The girls laughed quietly and I stealthily sneaked my hand over and placed it on Emily's lap. She slithered her hand under mine before carefully intertwining our fingers.

I looked over at her and found her smiling shyly at me again.

"_I love you_." Emily mouthed before turning back to the conversation with our friends.

_What a day._


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: This one is a little lighter. Hope everyone enjoys it anyway! :) Cheers!**

_**Delphine:**_Yup, I am totally out to get you all. ;) Do you really think I'm that evil? Hahaha I was just in one of my writing moods and decided to update. Hope you enjoy this one as well!

_**Sazar: **_Thank you for still reading! It's always so nice to hear from you. :) I'm trying my best to update when I can. Enjoy!

_**Jamillah:**_Food is a must, girlfriend. Of course, only you would be able to make out sexual contents out of the FOOD they ordered! lol Nice work. I admit, I am teasing all the readers on purpose. ;) It's so fun! Hahaha

_**Brian1127:**_Don't worry, you'll be able to breathe for a little bit in this chapter. It'll cover up some issues at hand. Why would I go make them have sex and spoil it already? Hahahaha ;)

_**Jes Angell: **_I think you're right. The anticipation for the lovemaking scene is definitely increasing by now. I'm just getting a rise out of everyone for fun. Enjoy the update!

_**Nae:**_ Your wish is my command. ;) This is a one-time deal.

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

"I just think she's not ready yet," I tried to explain to my best friends. I looked down at the twisted hands in my lap. It wasn't that I was embarrassed by the fact that I just disclosed such an intimate part of my relationship with Paige to my friends. I still felt a bit unsure for coming in her defense for rejecting my advances. _But we did have a little moment at the French restaurant last night. _

"Em, that's not normal. She's _supposed_ to jump your bones by now." Hanna interrupted my thoughts. I finally looked up to see all my friends, only to see them staring at me with sympathy.

We were all spending the early part of Sunday having afternoon tea on the outside patio of a beautiful mansion that looked like a former summer home. The rooms inside were classical and beautiful, but we decided to be served outside because it overlooked their lovely garden. It was an extremely posh and elegant little country hotel. Paige had opted to sleep in and so the four of us had driven out to the countryside that was a little on the outskirts of the city. Spencer somehow had a knack for finding these kinds of places.

"Han, that wasn't very helpful." Aria frowned as she placed a hand on top of mine and gave it a gentle squeeze to comfort me. I smiled in gratitude for her sensitivity to the matter and then picked up my drink.

"Well, have you two _at least_ talked about it? Communication is a very important part in any kind of relationship." Spencer added.

"I think there's an unspoken understanding that she's not ready to go there _yet_." I said before blinking furiously. _Unspoken understanding? Wow Emily, you are just so full of it today. _

"Spencer's right. I think you two should talk about it over coffee or dinner. That's something Ezra and I would do when we have an issue arise in our relationship." Aria suggested.

"Whatever. I say you corner her and rip her clothes off." Hanna shrugged as she sipped the tea that she slipped too many teaspoons of sugar into.

"Hanna!" Spencer and Aria scolded the blonde.

"_What?_ Just make a damn choice for the girl. She's obviously _confused_ about her sexuality. I mean, look at Emily. If I weren't so straight myself, I'd probably go for you Em." Hanna smiled before her expression fell and a frown took over. "Okay, no, that is just too weird. I take that back." Hanna said before putting down her cup of tea. "Anyway, my point _is _you need to – "

"_Hanna,_ you are _really_ not helping the situation right now." Aria commented before looking back at me. "Em, I'm sure there's a good reason why she's holding back _and _when the time comes, it will. There's no need to seduce the poor girl and force her to…_you know_." Aria gestured some odd movements with her hands that caused the girls and I to chuckle.

"Never knew you'd be such a _prude_, Montgomery." Spencer added before we all went into another round of laughter. Aria turned red and then rolled her eyes as she picked up her teacup and sipped the decent tea.

I watched as the girls went back and forth teasing one another and leaving me out of the playful banter. My guess was that they were trying to stay sensitive towards my feelings. I let out a soft soundless sigh as I looked around the beautiful garden. It had an inviting allure to it that just drew you in and made your thoughts run free.

I haven't even gotten to the part where I _had_ already tried seducing Paige yet, and Hanna had jumped in and point out _Paige's problem _when the trouble really lied with me. My mind wandered as I tried to run through the girls' words again. I had already tried the method Hanna encouraged, well, except that I hadn't exactly _cornered_ her. I just didn't think that it would be fair of me to do that. I rolled my eyes as that thought ran through my head again. Fairness. Right.

_Oh Paige, if only you knew what you are doing to me and my poor body._

* * *

After we've gotten back to the apartment complex, Hanna and Aria headed upstairs to grab their things before coming back down fifteen minutes later. In that time, Spencer and I shared the most intimate conversation as we stood in front of the building.

"_I need to tell you something." Spencer said as she looked at me with a somber expression. I stared at her in concern and stepped forward to put a hand on a shoulder to comfort her, but she backed away from my approach. Spencer let out a shaky breath and then dropped her gaze down and closed her eyes. She was really starting to scare me._

"_What is it, Spence? You can tell me anything." I urged her on. She slowly shook her head and then crossed her arms across her middle holding herself. _

"_I…" Spencer spoke but the next words wouldn't come out. _

"_You what?" I decided to ask._

"_I'm sorry." she said. What? Why was she apologizing?_

"_I'm the reason why Paige won't…sleep with you." Oh. OH._

_Oh._

_My._

_God._

_We both stood there in silence as I tried to take everything in. _

_She… Paige… What!_

_My mouth was agape as I stared at her in shock. She didn't dare to bring her eyes up to meet me as hers were now glued to the ground. _

"_W-when?" I heard myself stutter._

"_By the end of your first year at Danby." Spencer stated._

"_But I asked you back in Rosewood and you said – "_

"_Let me finish." Spencer cut in. I looked away from her and then waited for her to speak. _

"_She contacted me after a month into our freshmen year when we were each at our individual respective colleges. Paige wanted me to keep a tab on you, make sure you're okay and all that. I… We began to form some sort of friendship. It was platonic at first, but then I…started to develop these feelings for her. I knew she still loved you and so I stuck by the sideline and made sure you both were okay. Paige was just as distraught as you were after the breakup, Emily. She told me her condition after I berated her for breaking up with you when you both still loved each other. And then she started dating again. I was…jealous to say the least. As time went by, I began to realize that they were all just flings to get over you. I felt relieved for a while, but then she met this girl named Shannon, and suddenly Paige had changed completely. I…was at my wits' end trying to figure out why I felt the way I did. Then I, Spencer Hastings, had idiotically driven down from Princeton to Pennsylvania to confess my love for her. She told me she only saw me as friend… I was devastated and needed someone after the whole…situation, and she was there for me. That was all. She broke up with Shannon soon afterwards, and then ended up drunk calling me about it, thinking I was you and told me how much she still loves you. I was heartbroken then, but I knew that she was never mine to neither have nor keep." Spencer explained. _

_I didn't speak for the next couple of minutes, and Spencer's patience must've run out as she went into another round of clarification._

"_Emily, I'm sorry. I haven't tried anything, I swear. It's just she's aware of how I feel, and I think that's what's troubling her. Paige has been nothing but considerate about my feelings. I've done all I can to stay away from her, and honestly…I think now is the time that I tell you guys about Charley and me." Spencer smiled. My head snapped up in surprise as I stared at her in amazement. _

"_Charley?" I questioned. Spencer nodded before looking away shyly. _

"_He asked me out on a date for the fifth time a week ago, and I accepted." Spencer turned back to stare at me with a genuine smile on her face. _

"_Really?" I asked with a hint of doubt. _

"_Really. I think I've gotten over my…girl crush on Paige. It was…an experience to say the least." Spencer chuckled as she looked away in embarrassment. _

"_Why didn't you tell me?" I wanted to know. She looked at me expectantly before breaking out into a round of laughter. _

"_Are you serious? You would've hunt me down and made sure I never see the light of day again." Spencer joked. I frown as I realize how close to the truth that was. Could she really blame me? It was Paige we were talking about after all. _

"_Does she know that you're over this…girl crush?" I hesitantly asked. Spencer shook her head before she took a step forward and then took my hands into hers. _

"_It's time I let her know. I'll talk to her tonight. I promise." Spencer sealed the oath with a reassuring hug. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. _

"_Thank you." I whispered into her ear. I heard Spencer let out a sigh before tightening her grip around me. _

"_Thank you for forgiving me. I didn't want to keep this from you. I just…you know…" Spencer trailed off._

"_Yes, I know." I assured her. _

So here we stood staring at each other in awe a few minutes after. I think we both knew that we secretly admired each other for our strengths. A conversation that started out as one of my worst nightmares had suddenly transformed into a surprising revelation. I finally found the solution to my problem, and Spencer would help me fix it.

"Are you sure you've forgiven me? I don't think I could take on a passive aggressive Emily Fields…" Spencer said unsurely. I laughed and then rolled my eyes at her, and she smiled at me in return.

"_You're my best friend_. I'm grateful that you've chosen to tell me the truth. _Better late than never_, right?" I smiled her way. Spencer had opened her mouth and was about to say something until we heard our friends making their way towards us.

"Hey you two, we're going to hit the road now." Aria said before giving us each a hug.

"Yeah, don't miss me too much." Hanna added before leaning in and hugging the both of us at the same time.

"I'll_ try_ not to." Spencer joked before the rest of us burst into a small fit of laughter.

Spencer and I watched as the girls drive away in Aria's car, and I leaned into Spencer's side as she did with me.

Knowing Spencer, she'd always stick by my side no matter what.

I had no doubt about it at all.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: This chapter will clear up some things I hope. Cheers! :)**

_**Juliette:**_ Hello darling! It's quite nice to hear from you! I think you're really going to get a kick out of this chapter too. :) We'll look more into the whole Paige and Emily situation here. Thanks so much for reviewing again!

_**Delphine: **_Really? I thought you all had already assumed that Spencer had something to do with it. ;) I'm hoping Paige and Emily will move on from whatever it is too. I thought it was so amusing to write Hanna's character in the last chapter. She always keeps me entertained. Thanks for comment on the profile avatar. I got tired of seeing my face so up close every time I go see my story, so I decided to put one up that was a little more..,unclear and far away. It was taken at a party when I visited SoCal weeks ago. I had gotten bored and decided to take a selfie then. :) Anyway, thanks for the review!

_**Brian1127:**_ Yes, yes it is. There's a bit more to the story though. Read through this chapter and you will find out. I hope you enjoy it! :)

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Paige's POV**

"_Hey, I'm going for a short run!_" I yelled from the living room to let the girls know where I was going.

"Wait!" I heard Spencer called back from somewhere in the house before she appeared before me with a book in one hand and her framed glasses in the other. "Can I come with?" she asked. I smiled and nodded my head before she told me it'd take several minutes for her to change into something more comfortable for running.

It was half an hour later that we were on a paved way for running on the school's campus. I had decided not to run up the hill that I usually ran, seeing that I felt it was my only safe place to go alone. I also knew that Spencer didn't ask to come along for _just_ a run. I'm not saying she had a motive for everything she did, and even if she had, I knew it was from a concerned friend's standpoint. But something was definitely up. I could _feel_ it in the air around us.

The only sounds that filled our surroundings were our light breathing as we jogged at a mild pace. Spencer was running on my right side as we tried to match each other's pace throughout our run. It wasn't the most difficult run since we were leisurely jogging, but it did take some energy and effort.

"So," Spencer breathed out as I looked over at her while we're still running. "Charley asked me out again last Friday." I smiled wickedly her way before I began to tease her.

"He's had it bad for you ever since you schooled him on the fields." I smirked. Spencer laughed beside me as we kept our even pace.

"_I know_. I was really wondering when the guy would come around to understanding the meaning of what _no_ meant after the third time he asked me out." I saw her roll her eyes and laughed along with her. "But then I said _yes_." she quickly added out of the blue. My jaw instantly dropped as Spencer raced forward, leaving me behind.

"_Hey! Hold up! What!_" I chased after her as she laughed and kept sprinting and sustaining a ten feet lead on me. "Hastings!" I yelled breathlessly as I tried to catch up. It took me another three minutes before I had caught up, and when I did, she finally slowed down and we were back to our light jog.

"We haven't decided on a time and place yet, but I think it'll be sometime this Friday." Spencer said with a thoughtful look before a smile graced her features.

"_Are you joking?_" I asked in disbelief.

"Well _excuse you_ for not taking me seriously when I'm being completely honest right now." she playfully scowled at me.

"_When?_" I asked. I knew she understood what I meant because she had on her thoughtful expression again while we ran.

"A while now. I guess after that day at the coffee shop." Spencer simply said. I nodded slowly before looking over at her in scrutiny. "Okay, _fine_, you want an explanation? I;; give it to you. I've _never_ been rejected before. I took the blow pretty hard at the beginning and thought that it would take you some time to, you know…_move on_. Then of course, Emily shows up again, and then with each and every day that passed, I knew that I never stood a chance against _her_. After I finally found the guts to ask you that _what if_ question," Spencer let out a heavy breath and slowed down a little, "and you gave me an answer, I finally _accepted _defeat. Yeah, _go on_, laugh all you want, Spencer Hastings held onto a girl crush out of her pigheadedness to _win_." Spencer said bitterly. I smiled her way and then I picked up the speed again so that she'd have to match my pace.

"You're still amazing, Hastings. Never forget that. I'm glad you got back up on your feet after all that happened." I said with pride. Spencer looked over at me in surprise before smiling herself. She bumped into my shoulders and laughed as I stumbled a little to the left.

"You're not so bad yourself, McCullers." she admitted before I bumped shoulders with her in return. "_Now_, what is this _thing_ I'm hearing about you holding out on poor Emily?" Spencer questioned. I came to a complete stop as Spencer ran ahead and not stopping for me. I picked up my pace and chased after her again although it didn't take that much effort this time around.

"_She told you?_" I asked in disbelief as Spencer laughed at my expression.

"Of course she did. Why else would she be my best friend if she didn't share all these intimate details that I had no interest in knowing?" Spencer answered sarcastically. I playfully glared at her as she began chuckling and raising her hands in the air as we run.

"Okay, I _am_ a little curious. I thought you two had _already_…back in high school?" Spencer hesitated at the last few words which caused me to blush profusely.

"_Um…yeah, we did_…" I answered nervously.

"Then what's the deal?" Spencer pressed me. I stared at her in disbelief as she didn't really care that these _were_ intimate details even _I_ hesitated to share. I haven't even spoken to Sammie about it for God's sake.

"Ah…you know, _stuff_." I vaguely answered. Spencer stared at me expectantly, thinking I'd break underneath her stern gaze but she just rolled her eyes and we slowed down a bit.

"Well, whatever _it_ is, you should figure it out soon. Emily's starting to doubt that you have any…_sexual_ interest in her. From our conversation earlier today, it's been eating at her for a _while_ now." Spencer said as a matter of fact. My eyes widened a bit in response and I couldn't seem to form the next words that were expected of me.

"I don't want to send you down a guilt trip or anything, but she's probably _really_ kicking herself for whatever reasons she came up to blame herself in that pretty little head of hers. I _know_ she's not the problem. But that's really all I know." Spencer continued. _Yeah, way to not make me feel guilty at all, Spence._

I let out a small sigh as we ran in silence for the next ten or so minutes before we arrived at the front of the apartment complex once again. I bit down on my bottom lip and began walking around in circles with my hands over my head as I tried to catch my breath.

"You're right. It's not her. It's _me_." I finally admitted. Spencer stood up from her bent over posture as she had her hands on her knees from earlier. Once I had her attention, I finally came to a stop and continued, "We've only ever…done it…_once_." I disclosed. Spencer's eyes widened and I rolled my eyes at her reaction. "And I haven't done it with anyone…_ever since_." I revealed which caused her eyes to go even wider. "Okay, you can stop looking at me like that now. It's not helping to calm my nerves, Spence." I said. Her lips moved but no sounds came out, which caused me to roll my eyes once more and chuckle.

"_Wow_…" Spencer breathed as she began to look at me incredulously. "How? Why? Was it_ that_ bad with her?" she asked in disbelief. I looked at her in shock and tried to figure out how she came to that conclusion.

"No, it wasn't… _No_. It wasn't bad at all. I just…gave her all of me, and I was never able to do that with anyone else, you know?" Spencer nodded slowly before studying me again. Before she spoke, I decided to continue, "I just have this nagging feeling it'll be like our first time again, where I'll be fumbling around and she won't enjoy it."

"_Oh_, so this is about you doubting your performance?" Spencer asked nonchalantly. I nodded slowly before she let out a sigh of some sort. "_You've got to be kidding me, McCullers._ You're holding out on her because you're scared you won't be able to deliver? Wow, you and I have a lot more in common than I previously thought." I looked at her in confusion before she started to clarify, "I mean, our obsession with perfectionism."

"Oh," I said as I started to understand her words.

"Look, _Emily loves you_. I don't want to go all _parental on your ass_ as Hanna would say, but if you two love each other, there's really nothing to worry about. She'll love it. Well, _you_. Just show her that you love her too, and things will work out fine. You know, just…_love her down_." Spencer said as sincerely as possible even with that hint of teasing at the end.

"_Really?_" I hesitantly asked. She nodded before smiling and then gently punched my shoulder as I let out a breath of relief.

"Race you upstairs!" Spencer suddenly yelled from behind her as she already had a head start. I stood there like a fool smiling as I stared at her form running further and further away from me.

"Cheater! What kind of _Hastings_ are you?" I yelled back before I started to give chase after her.

"_Only the best kind!_" I heard her cry out from somewhere in the building. I shook my head in disbelief, but I now felt a little lighter from my talk with Spencer.

_Emily loves me. _


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Two chapters in a day?! HELL YES. ;)**

_**Brian1127: **_I don't know… I kind-of like teasing you all. I'm glad you enjoyed the previous chapter. Here's another one! Thanks for the review! :)

_**OTHangels: **_Thanks for the review, lovely reader. :)

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

The next morning at swim practice was unbelievably grueling.

I took off the swim goggles that were protecting my eyes and let it sit on the edge of the pool as I pulled myself out of the water. I wish we had all gotten an earlier warning about Coach Blair's foul mood prior to getting into the water. That could've saved all of us the extra twenty laps we had to swim if we knew better and had not tested his patience. I let out a sigh as I pulled my swim cap off and picked up my goggles before walking over to the stand and grabbing my towel. After draping the towel around myself and securing it in place so it wouldn't slip, I began to make my way towards the women's athletic locker room to find some clothes to put on. I was too tired and didn't want to waste time washing myself here and then have to go home and take another shower. As I pulled out my duffle bag, the locker beside me opened and I looked up to find my girlfriend staring at me in annoyance.

"What?" I asked in wonderment. She looked at me disbelief and then turned herself around to face me.

"You know _what_." Paige snapped at me, which cause my eyes to widen in surprise.

"_Uh…_ Paige, what's going on?" I asked carefully this time around. Paige rolled her eyes and crossed her arms before staring at me expectantly.

"_How could you?_" Paige began to berate me. My jaw had dropped slightly this time and I let my eyes scan the room, only to see that the other girls were just as exhausted as I was and wasn't paying us any attention.

"What did I do?" I asked again in bewilderment. The girl was seriously freaking me out. _What have I done wrong? Why was she upset with me?_ Paige uncrossed her arms and began to take a step closer to me.

"How could you just…go around telling _Spencer_ about _our_ sex life?" Paige said in a hushed tone. _Oh_. I opened my mouth and attempted to tell her that I hadn't meant to, and that I had no idea about Spencer's feelings for her, but she began to jump at my throat once more.

"If you're not _happy_ with me in that _department_, you could've just told _me_." Paige said angrily.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to – "

"_Save it!_" Paige said as she turned around and had her back facing me. I stared in disbelief at her back, seeing that this was the first time Paige had ever gotten this upset with me. Her shoulders began to shake and my eyes widened. _Is she…crying?_ Small muffled sounds began to come from her and I looked at her incredulously.

"_Are you serious?_" I asked myself aloud, unable to believe that this was happening to me. It was just…_Spencer_. I couldn't for the life of me understand the entire situation now. My heart began to beat fast as I panicked and felt lost about what to do. I began to reach my hand out and placed it on one of her shoulders, but she shrugged away my touch as her whole body convulsed, and she bent over a little. I took a step towards her now and attempted to put a hand on her shoulder again to comfort her and get her to talk to me.

"Paige, I…" She turned around and I saw that there were tears in her eyes. I watched in shock but then my eyes found a massive smile on her face, and the whole visual just confused me all the more.

"_Oh god, you are so gullible!_" Paige cried aloud as she bent over laughing. My jaw would've dropped to the ground if it could, and I stared at her in disbelief. Paige's laugh gathered all the attention in the room and a few girls who were standing around looked on at us like we were mad. I turned my attention back to my girlfriend who had me completely fooled and smacked her arm.

"_You jerk!_" I yelled and then turned my back on her. I angrily pull out the clothes from my duffel bag as my thoughts ran wildly. A long hell of a morning with Blair and now _this_? _Why couldn't I just get a short break for God's sake?_ I was snapped out of my thoughts when I felt a hand gently grabbing my left arm. I twisted my arm out of her grasp in annoyance and then went back to taking my clothes out of the swim bag. Suddenly, arms encircled my middle and pulled me close as I felt my back pressed against her front.

"_Em_…" Paige whispered into my ear. I closed my eyes and felt myself quickly shuddering from her touch, but I bit down on my lip and tried to resist her. I struggled to get out of her arms but her hold just tightened, and I found myself pressed even closer to her as I felt her chest hard-pressed against my back.

"I was only kidding." Paige continued to say and I opened my eyes to see if we had gathered any kind of attention again. To my surprise, we were now the only ones in the room.

"Did you _really_ need to get a rise out of me for that? I didn't mean to tell her." I frowned and crossed my arms against my chest. Then, I felt Paige lean forward and rested her chin on my right shoulder.

"I know, I know. I just thought it would be a bit funny to prank you." Paige chuckled and I felt her shake from behind me, and I rolled my eyes in exasperation.

"_Well, it wasn't_." I said as I harrumphed. Without any warning, I felt Paige kissing the side of my neck and I bit down on my lip again to control any sound that might escape me.

"_Stop it_." I said to hold my grounds. I wanted her to know that what she did was not tolerable, but at the same time, I couldn't help giving into my body's desire.

"_Why?_" Paige asked innocently as she began to press her lips against my skin more firmly.

"_Because_…" I said almost breathlessly as I felt her arms loosen around me and caused me to almost groan out loud as she _actually _let me go. I turned around and almost began to scold her again before I saw her dopey warm brown eyes.

"_I love you_." Paige whispered before I felt her lips crashed against mine. She cornered me into the edge of the lockers and pressed me firmly against the lockable compartments. I moaned into her mouth and I felt it vibrate through her lips as she gasped. Paige's hands were running up and down my sides and I felt the towel around me fall to the floor after she untied it.

"Paige – " I barely said before her lips were on mine again and I felt her press her lithe body against my own. I moved my hands from her wet hair that she had untied from earlier, and trailed them down to her neck as I pulled her closer. I felt her hands running sensually along my arms as she traced my triceps down to my forearm and then finding my hands. She removed my hands from her neck and guided them down slowly. My heart was beating unimaginably fast and my mind was racing as her lips caressed me in the most startling way. With her hand on top of mine, our hands travel together past her shoulders and to the top of her chest, and I reveled in the softness of her lips and heavy beating of her heart from where one of my hands were. I didn't think we were going to go any further than that, and I was began to run my hands back up to her neck once more, but she had a firm hold on me and then continued to guide my hands down to her chest. I opened my eyes in surprise as my hands suddenly covered her breasts entirely, but then immediately closed them as she leaned into me capturing my lips in another sensual kiss, and I felt her nipples hardened beneath my touch. We both moaned at the erotic sensation and I began to fondle her breasts in amazement. Paige pulled away and began breathing heavily near my ear as her hands were now on either side of my head and pressed against the lockers.

"_Fuck_…" Paige groaned as I gave her breasts a harder squeeze and leaned forward to nip her neck. Paige moved her head to the side, giving me more access to the beautiful skin, and I delightfully locked my lips onto her flushed neck. She moaned and pressed further into me, and I felt the throb at my center beginning to quicken and pulsate tantalizingly. I began to pinch her nipples and she moaned very loud at the sudden touch, and I smiled wickedly into her neck as I got such wonderful responses from her. They were such beautiful sounds and I marveled at how gorgeous she was as she became so completely undone before me. I felt her hands move away from my head and they were suddenly on either side of my hips. Her hands began to slowly trail up my sides and I pushed forward a little, pleading her to touch me already, but she was merciless and continued to let her hands travel up my body unhurriedly. I groan in frustration and gave her nipples a less gentle pinch and she moaned into my mouth as I thrust my tongue against hers. Our tongues fell into a fluid dance and we groped each other desperately, while I felt my patience slowly running out as her hands were now still travelling up and down my sides.

"_Paige_…" I begged as I pulled away from her lips. We both shared an intense stare before she leaned in and kissed me passionately again. Her hands wasted no time to explore upward now and I excitedly anticipated the moment when she'd _finally_ touch me. Just as her hands were beneath my breasts, the fire alarm suddenly went off and interrupted the moment, causing the both of us to groan aloud.

"_Are you fucking kidding me?_" I cursed as Paige pulled away and looked around incredulously. I let out a sigh and shut my eyes closed, falling back against the lockers with a thud. I heard Paige's chuckle and opened my eyes to see her watching me in amusement. Paige took a step closer and then kissed me briefly before pulling me back to our lockers.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Paige said as she began to pull out her clothes and threw them over her swimsuit. I did the same and we quickly grabbed our bags and headed out of the building. Just as we stepped out, the annoying sound came to an abrupt stop before the announcement went off and informed everyone that it was a false alarm. Paige and I both rolled our eyes as we began to walk across campus.

"_Stupid alarm_…" I muttered before I heard the same chuckle beside me again. I turned my head and frowned as I looked into her mirthful eyes.

"Wow, you want to get laid that badly huh?" she teased me before I gave her shoulder a gentle slap.

"Shut up, I _almost _got lucky! And that _stupid_ alarm ruined it all for me." I sighed dramatically as Paige rolled her eyes at me.

"Well, who knows, you _might_ get lucky tonight." Paige said with a gleam in her eyes before she threw a wink my way. I brightened up immediately and then grabbed her hand as I quickly pulled her towards the direction of our apartment complex. Paige laughed harder this time around and I joined in as we began to make our way home in a hurry.

_Finally_.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: So… Here it is. :)**

_**Megstyles31:**_Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I know I've been a tease lately. I hope you'll forgive me. I just write whatever I feel at the moment, so. :) Hope you enjoy the update!

_**Anna:**_I love hearing you say that it reminded you of the beginning. I hadn't quite thought of that when I was writing, but it's interesting to see it in that light. Hope you enjoy the update! :)

_**Guest:**_Thank you for reading and reviewing! I _love_ that you love my writing. It's always so nice to know that someone appreciates your writing. :) Hope you enjoy the update!

_**Jes Angell:**_Yeah, I think everybody enjoys these quick updates from what I've gathered. lol I'm trying my best to write as quick as I can, but I'm also trying to be a responsible writer at the same time. Here's the chapter you're "extra excited" for! :)

_**PamyNovaes:**_Thank you for reading and reviewing! I get what you mean. The final word in the last chapter says it all, right? Hope you enjoy the update! :)

_**Delphine:**_Yes, I am a writing robot now! hahahaha Wasn't that scene totally believable? Everyone was probably wondering, "_What on earth is wrong with Paige today?_" I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was kind-of…interesting to write. It just came out of nowhere! :)

_**Brian1127:**_You are so kind with your words. :) You should've brought a lifeguard with you before you started reading! Hahahaha I'm glad you're enjoying the frequent updates. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

_**Juliette:**_Oh, I don't know if this chapter is exactly _hot_, but I can only hope that you think so. Thank you so much for coming back to read and review! :) Enjoy the update, dear!

_**Jamillah:**_Ah, you and your habit of sexualizing _everything_ I write! It's McHastings, pal. Spaige is funny name. lol Let's see if Emily gets lucky in this chapter. ;)

_**Nae:**_You know it! ;) I think it's a technique I've managed to get better at over the last few chapters. Enjoy!

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

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**Paige's POV**

I couldn't help laughing as Emily tried to open the front door frantically. Rolling my eyes at the silly girl before me, I decided to take a closer step and placed my hand on top of hers before taking over the simple task. Once the door had unlocked, Emily rushed into the apartment without a beat, and by the time I had closed the door and turn around, the girl was simply out of sight. Quirking my eyebrows in wonder, I started to make my way towards my own bedroom to put away my things.

After settling the duffel bag down on the ground near my study desk, I grabbed a dry towel and some clothes before making my way to the bathroom. I stopped in my tracks as I heard the water already running and realized that Emily was already using it. I was about to turn around and go back to my bedroom to wait as Emily showered, but I saw that the door had been left half wide open, sparking my curiosity of whether she had done it intentionally.

I looked at the door curiously for a whole minute before letting out a breath and walking towards it. For some reason, I felt bold and wanted to move forward, and it had taken every ounce of my strength not to turn back and retreat to my bedroom. As I approached the door, I heard a low humming sound and immediately recognized the owner of the beautiful voice. So there I stood, debating for several minutes if I should join her or wait for my turn beside the bathroom door.

_Well, she is naked…_ My thoughts wander as I settled against the frame of the door and watched the steam escaping the bathroom. I felt comfortable here. Just standing outside and knowing how close we were. It was an odd moment. I was pretty much on the fence about trying to figure out things from here.

She _had_ touched me earlier in the locker room. A part of me felt awkward like I've always been, because it was my nature to be feeling so. The walk home had really cooled me down and made me think about the direction our relationship was heading now. I had made my move, and I had insinuated that I'm all right with us getting to the physical aspect of our relationship earlier, but was I really ready? I let out a small sigh as I replayed the entire scene in my head again.

_It was so hot. _

The way she had touched me in the locker room ignited a scorching fire that I've never felt before. It was such a foreign feeling, but at the same time it felt so…_familiar_. The way her fingers had danced across my skin and how enraptured I was with her when she fervently kissed me had brought on such a euphoric feeling. It's still unbelievable to me that someone as beautiful as Emily Fields would ever glance at me with the kind of desire that she had. The fire in her eyes was evident enough to see that she wanted me. I simply understood it even though I've never seen her look at me in that way before.

"_Paige!_" Emily's beautiful voice suddenly snapped me out of my deep thoughts. I shook my head in an attempt to clear through the hazy thoughts going inside my head.

"Yeah?" I called back to let her know that I was now standing outside of the bathroom.

"_I forgot my towel._ Can you go grab it for me in my room?" Emily spoke loudly over the running water. I chuckled at my girlfriend's forgetfulness and then started to head down the hallway towards her bedroom. After swiftly snatching the soft fabric material that was hanging on the hook behind her door, I made my way towards the bathroom in an unexplainable utter calmness. I reached out and pushed the towel into the wide space of the opened door, waiting for Emily to take it on the other side as I looked away into the hallway.

Without a warning, I was then abruptly pulled into the bathroom by the wrist and pressed firmly against Emily's towel covered body. My shocked expression caused her to laugh, and I grumbled on about how she shouldn't have given me a scare like that before she cupped my face with both her hands and silenced me with a kiss. I relaxed and let myself unwind as she kissed me lovingly, and I reached behind me to put my clothes and our towels near the sink before I wrapped my arms around her waist. After several minutes, I brushed my lips against her tenderly one last time and smiled into the kiss before pulling back.

"_You forgot your towel huh?_" I smirked as she started to flush and looked into my eyes with a mirthful look.

"_No, but I needed another dry towel_…" Emily trailed off before she released her hold from around my neck and pulled back out of my arms. Everything that happened next came so fast, because I could barely process that Emily had unexpectedly unhooked the knot at the top of her towel as it fell down to the floor around her feet. My mouth hung open as she stared at me with the same lustful look she had earlier in the locker room, and she walked back into my arms and leaned in to kiss me before I even chanced a glance at her naked form. We both moaned as my hand came into contact with the bare skin on her lower back, and I nipped at her lips and felt her body slightly vibrating against me, making the tingles heightened at every single touch between us. Emily let a raw moan escape into my mouth, and then slid one of her legs in-between mine before she thrust her thigh against my hot center. I gasped at the feeling of her pressed against me and Emily slid her tongue into my mouth. She nipped and pulled on my poor muscle before running her tongue over it soothingly, causing my hormones to rage with excitement as I started to press myself harder against her to increase the pleasurable friction.

"_Emily_…" I moaned aloud as I pulled away from her lips. She leaned forward and captured my lips once more as her hands roamed my body with some kind of urgent need. Emily released my lips and began to trail kisses down my neck, and I ran my hand up to her shoulders and through her wet hair before pulling her closer to me.

"_We need to get to class_…" Emily said as I held her tight against me and trailed my hands over the soft skin on her shoulders.

"Let's just forget about school." I let out breathlessly before Emily pulled back with a grin and lean in to peck my cheek. I felt her reach around me to grab something before I saw her quickly turn around and step away from me, covering her incredible naked body with the towel I had brought for her. _I hadn't even gotten a glimpse of it yet!_

"_Emily_…" I groaned as she turned around to face me and looked at me in amusement.

"That's what you get for teasing me this morning." she said before grabbing her wet clothes and towel and walking out of the bathroom, leaving to stand there in confusion and trying to process what just happened.

"_Did she just…?_" My mouth hung open before I closed it. I heard Emily laughing from across the hallway and then I let out a breath of frustration.

_Wow_. _That was so incredibly mean!_

* * *

"So how was swim practice this morning?" Sammie asked Emily and me as we sipped on our iced coffee. I choked on my drink and soon enough, I felt a hand patting my back before I heard chuckles around the table.

"You okay there, Paige?" Sammie teased me. I looked away embarrassingly before I found Emily's brown eyes. She looked at me in amusement and I could tell that she was trying her hardest not to laugh with the group.

The roomies and I had decided to meet up at Lovers & Madmen after we finished with our classes today. It was Sammie's idea since she hasn't been able to hang out with us over the weekend. I was the last to arrive, but what surprised me was that Emily had already gotten me a drink. I was quite smitten when I noticed her loving gesture, and I kissed her tenderly before I had sat down, even though I was previously upset with her for what happened this morning in our bathroom. Classes couldn't have gone by any slower, and I was mostly sitting through them without paying any attention to the lectures. It was odd how one little thing had shaken me up this bad, but then when I finally saw Emily again, my resolve had suddenly broke and I knew that I couldn't stay mad at her for long. _Why was I even upset with her? _But again, how she's been able to manage her self-control around me every time I stopped our heated sessions the way I had was really beyond me. It was not one of the greatest feelings in the world of being denied of something when you desperately needed it.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just…choked, that's all." I mumbled as I began to sip on my iced coffee again. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my thigh and I looked up to find Emily smiling knowingly my way. I took her hand into mine and entwined our fingers before I looked up to find Spencer and Sammie eyeing the both of us.

"Well, what about swim practice?" Sammie asked again. Emily and I stared at each other knowingly before looking away.

"_It was alright_." I simply responded.

"Actually, I had a _terrible_ morning." Emily commented, causing all of us to turn and stare at her. I looked on at her in question before she continued. "Coach was in one of his worst moods today, and he took it out on the team. Paige is just being a trooper and went along with it. My body is _incredibly_ sore right now." Emily moaned out the last part, causing several reactions to happen to my body. Firstly, the temperature in the room seemed to have elevated a bit. Secondly, I started to feel a certain _throb _in-between my legs. And third, I began to recall the way Emily had touched me and I was trying my hardest not to squirm as those thoughts consumed my mind.

"_Shit_…" I breathed out when it suddenly overwhelmed me. I stood up abruptly and unwillingly let go of Emily's hand. The girls all stared at me in surprise, before I decided to excuse myself. "Sorry guys! I forgot to talk to my professor about a…paper! I'll see you back at home?" I quickly said before leaning down and giving Emily a brief kiss and waving goodbye to the other two.

Once I had escaped and gotten a good distance from the café, I started to walk to the park nearby and then lay down on the patch of grass, staring aimlessly into the sky. I couldn't understand all of the mixed feelings that were running through me, and I found myself letting out another breath of frustration.

"You just got to stop fighting it, McCullers. You're overthinking it all." I said to calm myself down. The more I thought about it, the weirder I felt. I couldn't find the right connection between my thoughts and my feelings for the entire day today. I've never felt more confused. All of my feelings and thoughts were all…mixed up.

_What the hell is happening to me? _

_What is with all these quick bursts of emotions?_

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**A/N: Uh oh... ;) **


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: You all should thank Rushi for sending me a PM so I could get this up. lol But anyway, I'd like to thank everyone for continuing to follow the story and support it. I hope you enjoy the update, and have a great day! :)**

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

"What the _hell _just happened?" Sammie finally broke the silence after Paige departed almost two minutes ago. I was still trying to understand what just happened when she just got up and left.

"_Emily Fields_, what did you do to my best friend?" Sammie looked at me pointedly before breaking out into a playful smirk. I rolled my eyes at her and then looked towards Spencer to see if she knew what was going on with my girlfriend, but it seemed like she was just as clueless as I was.

"_I guess she has a paper she's worrying about?_" I answered uncertainly. As much as I take pride in my girlfriend being a bad liar, it really was time like these that I wished she wasn't so terrible at it. It was quite clear that Paige had lied about the paper and the three of us had all caught onto her lie.

"We share _almost_ all of the same classes with her, and I assure you, there's no paper due in the next week and maybe even the week after if I remember correctly." Spencer added before smiling wickedly my way.

"You two finally hit the sheets, eh?" Sammie wiggled her eyebrows my way, causing Spencer to laugh beside her while I hid my face from embarrassment.

"No, we didn't." I said almost too softly for the both of them to hear.

"Then why did she just get all fluster and fled the scene?" Sammie asked as she quirked an eyebrow in question. I shrugged because I really had no idea, and then I return my gaze back to the empty seat next to me.

_I wonder where she's gone._

* * *

"You know, there's something I've always kept from you and the girls." I remarked as Spencer and I walked around the campus aimlessly. We had finished coffee with Sammie and she said she needed to go photocopy a few pages out of a book at the library, so we had parted ways with her.

"Yeah? And what is that?" Spencer asked me even though I barely noticed a hint of interest and curiosity coming from her. It was nice to see her so carefree and unconcerned about most things now. Spencer is now incredibly different from the girl I grew up with. I suppose we had all grown up and stopped letting bothersome things worry us. Never would either of us had seen this kind of day coming where we'd both feel so relaxed and laid-back after such a stressful life back in high school.

"Have you ever wondered how Paige and I first…made acquaintance with one another?" I asked. My eyes roamed the green campus and smiled at how relaxing the atmosphere was. The campus was just incredibly beautiful and it brought on a welcoming feeling, almost like home. It was the home to most of the students who attended this school after all.

"Well, no." Spencer laughed as she glanced over and looked at me with a funny expression. I rolled my eyes at her and looked at her thoughtfully for a moment before shaking my head.

"Never mind then." I said to dismiss the topic. Spencer gaped at me for a whole second before pushing at me playfully.

"Hey! You can't do that! You can't just…start something and not finish it. That's not right, Emily." Spencer whined as she trudged behind me with a frown on her pretty face.

"You didn't seem too interested in what I had to say earlier." I said pointedly before I walked towards the bench sitting right beneath a tall oak tree. I sat on one side and patted for Spencer to sit down, and she complied.

"_So?_ Tell me." Spencer looked at me expectantly. I chuckled at how eager she was now in comparison to just minutes ago when she didn't have a care in the world for what I had to say.

"Well…she held my head under the water. I suppose it wasn't the friendliest gesture, but it was something…right?" I said amusedly. Spencer's slightly shocked expression made me smile as I let my eyes wander around the area, trying to pick out pieces here and there that I like about the beautiful surroundings.

"She tried to _drown_ you?" Spencer exclaimed quite loudly with wide eyes.

"_No_, she held my head under the water." I corrected her.

"And you fell in love with her because she tried to _drown_ you? God Em, and everybody thought _I_ was the psychopathic one between the four of us back then." Spencer shook her head in disbelief.

"No!" I laughed as I looked at her incredulously. "_You_ were the mad one, I was the lesbian jock, Hanna was the popular gossip-it-all, and Aria was the artsy anomaly." I corrected her again.

"_Oh ho_, I'm _totally_ going to tell on you. You better count on it, Fields." Spencer eyes measured me up as she said it. I simply rolled my eyes at her and leaned back to lay my upper body weight on my hands as I crossed my legs at the ankle.

"She didn't try to drown me, Spencer. She was simply…_confused_. I tried to help her through it at the time, but with Maya and everything else going on, I really had no idea how to juggle the situations back then." I clarified to my best friend. Spencer looked like she was deep in thought for a moment before she started nodding her head in understanding. We all had our own difficulties to deal with during that time of our lives.

"I know it was hard during these last few years…but I'm_ so_ glad that Paige was the one you fell in love with." Spencer genuinely smiled at me.

"_I know_." I returned the smile. I let out a sigh as we both glanced around at our surroundings with curious eyes.

"She's afraid of your love for her, you know?" I glanced over to Spencer, seeing that she's gotten my entire attention now. "She never forthrightly said it, but I caught onto the emotion between words every now and then." Spencer added. I tried to come up with words to say, but my mind could barely wrap around the thought of Paige fearing my love for her, so I could only let out a small sigh in response.

"You _need_ to talk to her. Assure her everything will be all right, even if you can't guarantee that. What she needs right now is a solid support system, especially with what she's been going through. I can't imagine how…I'd deal if I were her." Spencer confessed.

"I will." I whispered after a few moments of silence. We remained that way for the longest time, and I was indefinitely deep in thoughts about Paige as we both sat there in silence.

_I just wish she'd talk to me about these things._


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: This chapter's a bit different from the other ones I've written. I decided to write the story with a new approach and I hope that you all enjoy the new writing style. I just felt like it was better this way. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the lengthy update and **_**remember**_** to have a wonderful day ahead! ;)**

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**Paige's POV**

"There was nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged, to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." Nelson Mandela once said in _A Long Walk to Freedom_.

It suddenly dawn on me that walking down the same hallway I used to tiredly tread through to get to classes was one of the strangest feelings I've ever felt in my entire life. Funny thing was that it was in this same hallway that I first noticed _her_. At first, I had mistaken that we'd met at the swim tryouts during our freshmen year in high school, but no, that wasn't it. I noticed her _right here_ in this very hallway.

We were both quite young back then. Too young to even realize that we would one day mean so much to one another. I also hadn't noticed how much I'd come to romanticize the love we had until the day I had told her I love her. That day, I learned to love not only her, but myself as well. I think we've come a long way ever since.

I can still remember it all just like yesterday. Her long brown tresses were tied into a ponytail with a hairband as I unknowingly watch her attentively listen to her friends talking from across the room. She looked so completely captivated by the blonde who had led their group of friends. And for just one second, she finally looked up and our eyes had met for the very first time. Matching brown colored eyes were locked on one another, and a small spark that ignited somewhere within me had gone unnoticed as _I_ was then the one who had been instantly captivated by her glazed over brown orbs. _She had noticed me too_. Or so I had hoped. I didn't know her name then, but I did a week later at the school's swim tryouts. Unbeknownst to me, her name from that moment on would forever be etched in my memories.

_Emily. _

I never found a name more beautiful than hers. The name _Emily_ fitted the brunette with pretty brown eyes perfectly. Little had I known, _Emily_ would match the young girl's character as well. The name Emily meant _rival_, and she was _mine_ for two years straight before I had cracked and impulsively kissed her, slowly figuring out I wasn't so _straight_ after all. It was perfect. _She was perfect_. She's still very much perfect in my eyes 'til this day.

But for a long time after that kiss, I fought myself and tried denying the way I felt about her. Emily thought I'd brush her off after our little _encounter_ in her car, but what I had really been doing was running away from myself. _From her._ More importantly, from the way she had made me feel.

_God, Emily made me feel so loved._ I love her so much, and all I ever found myself wanting to do was love her and make sure she knew I had loved her too.

It was too hard to do at first, because I wasn't out yet. I had even come to her crying after going on a play pretend date with Sean, and she had comforted me without question and we even kissed afterwards. We had started secretly dating, and before I knew what was happening, it ended suddenly. We were at different stages of our lives, and Emily was adamant about not going back into the closet. She didn't want to be my secret. A part of me loathed our relationship being a secret too, but I had felt like my life had depended on it being a secret at the time. Emily had ended our hidden relationship, and that was that. At least, it _was_ for a period of time between sophomore and junior year of high school.

It was difficult being away from her and not having her in my life, I remember. We were like strangers. We passed by one another in this very hallway without even a glance each other's way, pretending nothing had ever happened between us. Of course, I would look at her briefly whenever she wasn't looking my way, and I had seen how sad she had been in those first several weeks. I was able to discern the fake smile she hid behind as she stood at the lockers with her group of friends. They were concern about her, that much I knew. They were able to tell that she was not being her usual self too.

Emily wasn't unhappy for long, because I saw her with someone new only three weeks after she had broken up with me. Samara Cook, that's the girl she started dating, the one who I was supposed to talk to and help me with coming out. I wanted to say that the blonde stole Emily away from me, but I knew that it wasn't true. Not in this universe. Not even in a parallel universe in fact. I had lost Emily all on my own.

Emily had seemed smitten with the girl as far as I could tell back then. It made me feel jealousy like never before. I had never felt so worked up over one single person in my life, other than my own father who had constantly push me to become a better swimmer back in high school. I felt crushed that I wasn't enough for her, and I _knew_ deep within that I wasn't worthy of her love. I wasn't ready, and I felt like I never would be at the time.

Emily hadn't dated Samara for long before she became single again. I had thought that it was maybe time for me to brave up and come out by then. I tried, really, I did. Every time I wanted to speak about it at dinner with my parents, I ended up choking on words or holding back. This went on for several weeks until I finally told them that I was gay. It had been difficult to finally get the words to come out, but once it was out, I was out.

So then the day that I _finally_ decided to walk up to Emily and readied myself to talk about reconciling our relationship, Maya appeared. I was completely thrown off course when I saw Emily walking hand in hand with Maya, her previous girlfriend who had been shipped off to God-knows-where. I had halted mid-step and watched as they climbed the stairs together and go through the school's entrance. I stared at their backs from where I stood and my eyes lingered on their entwined hands for the longest time. _They were together again._ That much was evident. My heart had sunk after a moment of realization, and I remember backing away from the school as I went to retrieve my bike. The funny thing was when I tried to unlock the bike lock cable, it wouldn't budge. It felt like everything was going to go wrong that day, and it did, but that's not something I want to go into.

The next several months were repetitive for most part. Watching two lesbians walk hand-in-hand in the hallway was supposed to be the best way to get me to perk up and feel out and proud about being who I was. But it was hard to be happy when the only two out lesbians were Emily and Maya. Emily was falling in love with Maya again. It was clear as day if you took a brief glance at her eyes. They were the windows to her soul as I remember thinking, and it showed more emotions than I could ever bear seeing.

We finally spoke to one another when a fundraiser for the swim team came up. It was nice. I even told her that I had come out, and she had looked so proud of me. It made me wish so badly for the hands of time to turn back around and gave me a chance to come out sooner. Maybe then, I'd still have her, I remember thinking. We had a friendly chat, and I tried to tell her how I felt even though it was wrong of me to do so with her being Maya's girlfriend. I just _had_ to try, but then I was unprepared to see the wheels turning behind Emily's eyes. I knew I had completely lost her right then. She was Maya's. I had finally given up all hope to ever be with her again, and whenever she looked my way in the hallway that day, I wouldn't meet her gaze. It had been amusing to me how much she suddenly bothered to even take a glance at me even when she was with her friends. It hadn't made much sense to me back then.

Not until the day we were left alone changing in the locker room. Emily and I were the last ones changing after a victorious swim meet, and everyone had sauntered out of the room to go to one of the girls' house for movies and pizza. The two of us were the only ones who had declined the invite. Well, it seemed like Emily had wanted to go but then she hesitated after hearing my response and said she couldn't make it either. We had been changing quietly, and I was trying to take off my swimsuit and change into street clothes very quickly without feeling abashed that the girl I was in love with was there. When I was done and had packed away all of my things, I remember I had contemplated how I should address the girl who was obviously giving me an expectant stare to talk to her. I wasn't brave enough and so I tried to walk past her, but as I passed by, a hand had reached out and grasped my forearm with a firm hold.

"_Paige." I heard my name being uttered by the one person who I had only spoken to a few days prior. Outside of the Apple Rose Grille, Emily had made it clear that night before walking away that she was sorry if she'd given me any impression that she was interested when I tried to kiss her after I had comforted her. She looked so distraught and maybe even felt betrayed by me as she threw a final glance back before she strode off into the dark. She thought I was a friend she could seek comfort in and I had taken advantage of that when I saw that she and Maya had trouble. _

_I closed my eyes in defeat and swallowed the lump in my throat as her grip tightened when I tried to pull my arm away. She had me, and I couldn't leave. _

"_Please, stay. We need to talk." Emily pleaded before I relented and let out a breath before turning to face the music. _

"_I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to." I apologized again for trying to kiss her after she told me that she wasn't sure whether Maya was breaking up with her or not the other night._

"_Look, Paige – " _

"_I've got to go. I'm sorry." I cut her off before pulling my arm back and rushing away. I couldn't bear to stand before her and pretended that it didn't happen, because it did. _

_We had almost kissed. _

I remember having to sleep on it for days before I finally got over myself and regretted not giving her a chance to speak her mind. It had been truly selfish of me, and I suddenly made it a point to seek her out at the Masquerade Ball. She was surprised to see me when I approached her, and we spoke. I had of course apologized again and she told me to forget about it. The thing was that I couldn't forget about it, about her, and I didn't want to. I was fighting so hard for her. I tried. I knew I did, because we had a connection and she knew we did too. I remember wishing I'd fought harder for her. She was all I've ever wanted, and she sat there right in front of me in this beautiful midnight blue strapless gown, looking as poise and confident as ever, and she was waiting for someone. That someone wasn't me. The conversation carried on and I found myself saying such selfless words about being there for her because I cared. I meant it then. I didn't know it, but I meant the words I had said at the time. I've never cared for anyone as much as I did for Emily, and all she said was that she needed a friend. So I agreed to be friends.

That hadn't exactly worked out. Emily somehow made it a purpose to avoid me after the conversation we had. Words had travelled around that Maya had skipped town again and Emily was single once more. I didn't know what to do or say to her. She was avoiding me. What was I supposed to do back then? Get up in her face and confront her about it? No, that surely wasn't the way to go. Then, I decided to follow suit and avoided her too. Maybe it was for the best after all. It was senior year and soon enough, I'd be out of Rosewood and I'd never have to look back. I was entirely prepared to get over her, seeing that she never called ever since our conversation at the Masquerade Ball.

But strangely, Emily decided to stop me in the courtyard while I was making my way to class, and she suddenly asked me to go see a Katy Perry movie with her. My mouth had decided to move faster than my brain could catch up, and I ended up confronting her about avoiding me in the past several weeks. She had said she wasn't trying to avoid me, and if she was, it hadn't been intentional. It was hard to believe, and I found myself thinking skeptically about her intentions. _I loved her_. That much I knew. But how many times could I have let myself be led into temporary bliss and then be left to suffer alone with a permanent heartbreak? Of course that didn't seem to matter, because I had found myself agreeing to the movie date with Emily.

Then, the movie date was cancelled that very night when Emily had told me she'd been called in to work the next day. It had been no big deal, and we even had a moment in her room when she had trouble putting on a tie. I remember never wanting anyone as badly as I wanted Emily. It felt almost like that first breath of air when one's head has been underwater for way too long. It was such a devastating feeling knowing she was so close, yet so far away from me. I couldn't _breathe _as I stood there helping her with her tie. It was unsuccessful, and I immediately wanted to gasp for air when she finally moved to her closet to get a real tie she said she's worn to a costume party.

Well, before anything could even begin between us again, things already started to go downhill. I didn't want to mess things up or pushed her too far, but who was I to control that? There had been a lot of drama between Emily and I, and I thought for sure that we were done. That she was done with me before I even had the chance to tell her I love her. It was too crazy and hard to believe.

I remember standing by the edge of the pool as the light from the lower ground glimmered and shined the entire courtyard behind my house, casting a light blue glow around me. It was so serene and peaceful. I had almost felt that way if not for the inner turmoil that caused me to feel so disoriented for the previous days and that entire day too. All I ever wanted and all I've done were to fight for a chance, an opportunity that seems to escape me every time when I thought I had a sure grasp of it. I didn't understand anything at that moment. I stood there alone in the dark with the blue light glittering me with hope. But at the time, I didn't know what hope I had left. I had thought it was over.

But then Emily came. It had surprised me more than I had let on. I tried to apologize again for taking advantage of her when she was under the influence of alcohol, but then she told me it wasn't my fault.

"_I was drunk that night, and I got lost." Emily said as the shimmering light from the swimming pool diverted her eyes. She quickly returned her gaze to look at me before she continued, "Only I didn't really get lost." Emily stared at me intently before the next words escape her lips, and all I could do was hold in my breath to make sure I didn't miss a single word._

"_I was looking for something. I was looking…for somebody. And I came here." I opened my mouth to speak, to say something, but all I could do was finally let out the breath I had been holding in. I didn't realize how much relief it had brought me and I breathed a sigh of disbelief before I look down and smile to myself. I hadn't even noticed her stare because before I knew it, she had her hand on my face and tried to lift my gaze up to meet hers._

"_Don't look away." Emily spoke with much conviction, a certainty I've never seen before. All I could do was try not to look away from her beautiful brown orbs as they bore into mine. I've never felt more secure than I had in that moment. She had me. I couldn't move. _

_And then she leaned in to kiss me. _

Emily Fields had kissed _me_, and I remembered how lost I was in her kiss. It had felt like some kind of wonderful dream, and I really couldn't bear to part with it.

_It was a night to remember._ It was the first and _only_ night that I ever lost myself in Emily. Emily had daringly decided to take off her clothes and go for a swim when our kiss had gotten too heated, but watching her lose articles of clothing one at a time right before my eyes back then did nothing to cool the heat I felt inside. The warmth had spread all over my body and I had watched as she dove into the pool with ease. I don't remember how long I stood there, but it was long enough for Emily to notice me stuck to the spot that she's left me and she had gestured for me to join her. I did and we swam together. At one point or another, she had held me against the concrete wall of the pool and kissed me, and I remember being surrounded by the feeling of pure bliss. And then we swam together.

Like_ really_ swam together. I don't remember what I thought my first time would be like, but it was nothing like the way Emily made me feel. We had stayed up all night and kept awake until the rising of the sun. I still remember that first morning after. It was our first morning together and I had held her naked form in my arms, and I remember not ever wanting to leave the comforts of my warm bed as I lay beside her. That moment was certainly the epitome of beauty, and I don't think anything else in my life could ever compare to that kind of beauty again.

"_Paige, what are you doing here?_" A voice snapped me out of my trance-like state of mind. I looked up from the place that I stand and saw Mrs. Montgomery and Aria walking towards me from a classroom, and I stood up straight as I took a quick glance over to where Emily's locker used to be.

"Hi Mrs. Montgomery," I smiled as the older woman came over and pulled me into a warm hug.

"It's so nice to see you again. Is Emily here as well?" Mrs. Montgomery said as she looked over my shoulder to see if anybody was there. I shook my head and smiled in response, and Aria quirked an eyebrow as she look my way.

"Hello to you too," I rolled my eyes at Aria and smiled before engulfing her into a tight hug. She squeezed back and released me before eyeing me suspiciously.

"So, what are you doing here?" Aria asked again as Mrs. Montgomery walked away and gestured to using the women's restroom. The hallways were empty during after school hours just like I had imagined it would be.

"Just…reminiscing old times." I smiled before leaning against the locker that used to be mine. "I was in town to see Dr. Sullivan and decided to stop by to see if anything has changed. Nothing has from the looks of it." I chuckled as Aria looked the hallway over.

"How are things? With Emily, I mean. I've heard…" Aria trailed off as I rolled my eyes at the shorter girl.

"We're good. I think I've got it worked out now." I said with certainty as I briefly glanced over to Emily's locker again. Aria caught on quickly and followed my gaze, and she turned back to me with an amusing smile.

"_Emily's locker._ Huh." Aria said with a pensive expression, as if she was trying to solve some kind of mystery.

"Yup." I grinned as my gaze shortly fell to the floor.

"Should I be worried?" Aria said with a joking undertone. I looked up at her and shook my head with the charming dimples on my face.

"No." I finally said even though I've already given her my response.

At that moment, Mrs. Montgomery walked out of the women's restroom and began her way towards us as she smiled with an inviting expression.

"Paige dear, do you want to come over for dinner? It'll be nice for us to catch up." the older woman offered. I thought about it for a second before looking over to Aria and saw her looking at me with the same welcoming expression as well.

"Sure. That'll be wonderful, Mrs. Montgomery." I smiled at the both of them.

We began walking together towards the same classroom that Mrs. Montgomery taught in, and I smiled contentedly when we passed by Emily's locker. Near the corner of the four edges of her locker was a depression mark that was still there. A mark I had etched in myself years ago when I accidentally jammed Emily's locker while trying to grab the math book that she had borrowed from me. My fingers briefly traced the mark as I walked by and I grinned to myself at the way it felt like it had only happened yesterday; that I had just fallen in love with her yesterday.

_I do love her so much._ I thought to myself as I followed the two ladies into the teaching classroom.

_And I'm going to show her that tonight when I get home._ I finished my thoughts. Emily deserved that much and more.

_True love really does inspire us day by day._

* * *

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: I had an idea before writing this chapter, but of course it didn't go as planned and everything turned out quite differently. I found it very hard to write tender moments between characters, but I hope I've done okay for you to enjoy this update. Please have a nice day ahead. Oh, and forgive me. ;)**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

I've never felt my heart skipped a beat as fast as it did right now when I begin to hear the jingle of keys outside the apartment's front door. Hearing the door unlocked only a few seconds after, I begin to mentally prepare myself for the conversation I promised I would have with Paige tonight. I _had _to do it. I _had_ to get her to talk to me. We've gone through so much together, and I just can't bear to watch it fall apart. We've seen each other grown as people, and even though these times have been hard, she's continued to amaze me each and every day with her strength. I just wish she knew she had me. I wouldn't _ever_ give up on her. She needed to know that. _She has me. _I was hers and hers alone, and I think possibly for the rest of this lifetime. But maybe I should leave that last part out.

I turned over in my bed as I heard the bedroom door open gently. Paige had stuck her head inside my door and the lights from the hallway flitted into my darkened bedroom, causing me to squint at the sudden brightness to make out her shadowy figure. She then closed the door behind her and began walking towards me.

"Hey," Paige whispered softly as she sauntered over and then kissed me on my forehead. From the looks of it, Paige had already changed into her sleeping attire and she readily climbed into bed with me. I moved to lay my head on her shoulder as she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close against her wonderful sculpted body as she did so. Paige quickly blanketed the both of us with the covers, and I shivered slightly from the short moment of cold air passing against the surface of my body.

"_Mmm_…" I moaned softly into the side of her neck at the sublime feeling of being wrapped up in her warm arms. Paige chuckled lightly at my greeting and I begin to feel light kisses at the top of my head again. I took the opportunity to look up, and I found her eyes smiling down at me in the dark. Paige leaned down to kiss me and I met her almost halfway as I felt her soft lips pressed tenderly against mine.

"Where've you been all day?" I slowly whispered against her lips before brushing my mouth against hers once more.

"School – " Paige managed to say as I gently nipped her bottom lip and then soothed it over with the tip of my tongue. "Um," I heard Paige swallow as I trailed affectionate kisses down her jawline. "Appointment with Dr. Sullivan, and then Rosewood High." I pulled back suddenly at hearing the name of our old high school.

"_Rosewood High?_" I questioned before Paige nodded and tried to lean in to capture my lips. I pulled away a little, letting my lips barely touch hers slightly as I breathed her breath, moving my head a bit every second or two to experience the different sensations as I did so. My lips touched hers on and off slightly, and the teasing kiss had made Paige grow impatient as her hot heavy breath quickened before I felt her tongue licking the top of my lips. I opened my mouth slightly and the tips of our tongues touched before I flicked hers lightly and then closed my lips to barely brush them against Paige's. She sighed into my lips and I smiled into the kiss at the sweet sound that emitted from her before pulling back.

"What were you doing there?" I asked Paige as we both tried to catch our breaths. She smiled lazily with her eyes, and it was then that I noticed her left hand had been wandering up and down my bare back underneath my loose tank top.

"Honestly? I don't know." Paige chuckled as she leaned in to brush her lips against mine again. "But it helped me figure out some things." Paige said against my lips before she pulled back and looked me in the eyes. "And then I had dinner with Aria and her mom." Paige smiled as I felt her hand travelling higher up my back. I closed my eyes at the soft caress of my back and leaned backward into her warm touch.

"_Really?_" I breathed when her hands travelled to my side and made its way downward, not seeming to miss an inch of my skin as it trailed lower.

"Yeah, it was _nice_." Paige whispered into my ear as she moved to kiss a sensitive spot behind my ear.

"_How nice?_" I sighed before I pressed my body against her side and felt her hand moving to the front of my torso. Her fingers slowly grazed my taut abdominal muscles with care, and I leaned in further to let her know that she could touch me with steady caresses. Paige pressed kisses down my neck little by little, and as I felt the tip of her tongue caress my pulse point, my breath hitched at the softest of kisses against my skin.

"_Guess_." Paige spoke into my neck as she began to press firmer kisses against my skin. I felt her hands moving upward and I couldn't for the life of me remember what we had been talking about. I could only slightly writhe beneath her touch, and I felt my breathing quickened as she reached the underside of my breast.

"_Paige_…" I pleaded as she begun to caress me near one of the most intimate places on my body. Paige began trailing kisses back up the side of my neck and I breathed out slow unsteady sighs when she reached the sensitive spot behind my ear again. Without a warning, I felt her nibble on the outer shell of my ear and I bit down on my lips when her hand continued to trace the underside of my breast on its own.

"I know I'm asking for the _world_ of you right now, but _please_, I _need_ you to touch me." I breathed heavily as she continued to tease me. I felt Paige's lips curl into a smirk against my ear, and I moaned as I felt the warmth of her tongue on my skin once more.

"_Are you sure?_ I might not be able to stop." Paige whispered into my ear, and I felt her breath tickled me slightly. I pulled back slightly to look her in the eye, and I was incredibly taken aback by the lustful yet loving expression on her face.

"_Then don't stop_." I said as I looked back into her eyes with just as much intensity.

* * *

I've never seen a sunrise so pretty before. I haven't watched a sunrise in a long time, and to see it again now, I don't think I've ever felt more content. The light shining through my windowpane casted a stream of beautiful luminescent glow onto the divine figure next to me, and I stayed paralyze in place as I watched the lights dance upon her fair skin. Paige was lying on her stomach and somewhere in the middle of the night, the girl must've kicked off the covers because her entire backside was now completely exposed. I'd woken up only a few moments ago, but it felt like I had been lying there staring at her for hours. She looked so beautiful like this morning's early sunrise. _It just didn't make sense._ _How could someone be this beautiful? _

"_Stop staring at me_." Paige mumbled with a sleepy smiling tone in her voice. I turned to stare at her face, only to see that her eyes were still closed. A few strands of hair were covering her features, and I reached out to tuck them behind her ear. She moved in closer towards me and reached out an arm to invite me in. I soon closed the gap between us and pressed a soft kiss to her temple as I saw her open one of her eyes to take a look at me.

"I can't help it." I pressed another soft kiss to her lips. "_You're beautiful_." I said as I caressed the small of her bare back. "Especially with the sunlight in your hair." I smiled as I leaned in to kiss her lips again and savored the picturesque moment. "_Absolutely beautiful_." I whispered against her lips.

Paige suddenly flipped me onto my back and was now settling on top of me as she straddled my hips, her lips still pressed lightly against mine. I could feel her core pressed against mine and breathed a raw moan into my opened mouth when I reached around and pressed her hips down to connect with me.

_Eye to eye._

_Lips to lips. _

_Chest to chest._

_Hips to hips._

And with a little bit of last night on these sheets, this morning couldn't have been any more perfect.

* * *

I couldn't help but curl up against Paige while we had lunch with the girls. Maybe it was the after-sex neediness. I wasn't sure, but I felt the need to be curled up against her and that was what I did for most part of brunch while we ate. Of course, we attracted odd glances every now and then from the girls but Paige didn't seem to mind and neither did I, so I just stayed by her side on the restaurant sofa as we ate.

Aria and Hanna had driven into the city for the day and surprised us all this morning by the loud banging on the front door at half past ten this morning. Either Spencer or Sammie had opened the door because Paige and I were asleep, and we had quickly put on our clothes as we heard Hanna stomping down the hallway and calling out our names. We had all decided to have lunch at this café Aria suggested since she said she's been here with Ezra before and loved it. It was a really nice and comfortable place to have brunch. I didn't know many places to eat with this kind of setting.

"Not that I mind you guys being all cute and cuddly, but why are you, like, _all_ over her Em? Girl needs her space, _you know_?" Hanna said as she rolled her eyes and went back to eating her salad. I could tell that the others were trying not to laugh, and I couldn't help but blush slightly at the comment.

"It's alright, I don't mind." Paige said after a few seconds, and I felt her hand resting on my thigh gave me a squeeze to reassure me that it was really okay. I smiled at her and she smiled back, but before I could lean in to kiss her lips, a cough had interrupted our moment.

"Uh, hello? I'm still here, you know." Hanna waved a hand at us. I rolled my eyes at her before turning back to Paige and gave her a brief kiss.

"She's my girlfriend, Han. Of course I'm going to be all over her." I said as I turned back to look at Hanna. The blonde had now quirked an eyebrow at me and I hadn't miss the other girls' facial expressions either.

"What I meant was she's my girlfriend, of course I'm going to – "

"_Yeah_, I heard what you said Em." Hanna cut in as a round of laughter ensued by the way that she had said it.

"What Emily meant to say was that I'm her _girlfriend_. That should be self-explanatory all by itself." Paige said and smiled goofily my way.

"_Oh God help us all!_" Hanna threw her hands in the air and let out an exaggerated sigh. Spencer and Aria could only shake their heads while Sammie watched on amusingly.

I lowered my hands underneath the table and held Paige's hand in-between them while I watch the girls finish their food. Her hand was so soft as I rubbed the back of it with care. I couldn't help but want to have physical contact with her whenever we were in the same room now. I couldn't care that the others had noticed my neediness. I just wanted to be near her and be able to touch her. I love that I was able to do anything with her as I pleased. Without thinking, I lifted her hand up to my lips and pressed an affectionate kiss on the back of her hand, not realizing that the girls had seen it until I heard an '_awe_' from the girls at our table.

"Touchy, affectionate, _and_ losing concentration every minute or so. Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Hanna?" Sammie smirked as she looked back and forth between Paige and me. I felt Paige wrap an arm around my waist and pulled me in closer as I continued to hold onto her other hand.

"You don't think…" Hanna's eyes widened as she looked around the table and met everyone's gazes except for Paige's and mine.

"I _do_ think it." Samara winked before she smiled wickedly both our ways. Hanna squealed from her seat and clapped her hands together in excitement.

"Okay blondies, care to explain what's going on?" Aria asked with a slightly confused expression as she looked back and forth between Hanna and Sammie.

"_They did it!_" Sammie whispered loud enough only for our table to hear. Aria rolled her eyes as she caught onto their joke while Spencer just shook her head in response at her silliness.

"_No they didn't!_" Hanna exclaimed.

"_Oh, but they did_." Sammie nodded slowly with her now widened eyes.

Aria, Spencer, Paige, and I chuckled at their silly exchange, and I turned to Paige to see how she felt about them joking about our sex life. Turns out it didn't seem like she cared much as I only saw the love that she had for me in her eyes. I felt Paige's hand caressed my side and I leaned further into her so that she'd wrap her arm more intimately around me. I smiled as I saw her lean in to kiss me and then felt her tender lips at the corner of my mouth.

"It would be a dream come true if they did." Hanna dreamily sighed in defeat before Paige and I started laughing.

_Oh, if only she knew it had already happened._

* * *

Paige and I trekked through the park trail by the lake in silence, and I couldn't have felt any happier just having her by my side as we walked together hand in hand. It had been such a nice day with the girls and now we were able to sneak in a walk along the lake before the evening ended. It was _the _perfect day.

"What are you smiling about?" I heard Paige asked me as we watched the lake's reflection of the orange-y colored sky. It was entirely beautiful. A different kind of beautiful in comparison to the sunrise this morning, but it was still very beautiful nonetheless.

"Just how perfect the day was. _Is._" I corrected myself towards the end. The moment was still quite perfect in my eyes.

"Listen, about last night…" Paige began to trail off and I looked over at her to see that she seemed quite hesitant to speak.

"I'm listening." I spoke to reassure her that she could tell me anything. Paige looked me in the eye with a seriousness I couldn't understand, and it worried me a bit of what she's about to say next. Paige suddenly stopped walking and gestured for me to do the same as she pulled on my hand. She walked around to get in front of me, and now we were standing face to face with one another. Paige suddenly took my hands into hers and held them idly as I watched various emotions pass across her features.

"_I love you._ I just wanted you to know that, and I hope I had showed you that last night. I wanted to love you _and_ make love with you. I didn't only wanted to make love; I wanted to make our love_ last_." Paige spoke softly as she held my gaze. I had already broken into another one of my love-struck smiles and brought a hand up to caress her pretty face.

"I felt _very_ loved last night. _You were wonderful_." I reassured her as I leaned in to kiss her lips.

"Thanks," Paige said as a blush crept upon her face and the orange glow from the daylight's ending flickered a light against her skin, making her beauty all the more ethereal before my bright eyes. My heart started to beat a little faster at the sight of her then, and I froze my breath before I uttered the next words.

"_I love you so much_." I breathed out all in one breath. "And I want to learn how to love you in the way that you think you deserve to be loved." I paused for a second or maybe five to take in a deep breath before I continued, "But in order for me to do that, you _need_ to tell me when something's wrong or bothering you. I want to be your person, Paige. I want to _always_ be here for whatever you need. _Paige, you have me_. Let me shoulder some of your burdens. _Please_, _let me in_." I heard my voice fell to a whisper near the last word. I saw the tears that have formed in Paige's glistening brown eyes, and I stepped forward to take her into my arms. She held onto me and I felt her slightly shiver as I folded her into my arms tightly.

"_I already have_." she murmured into my neck but I heard her words loud and clear.

"_You have me._ _I won't ever let you give up on us again_." I whispered softly into her ear. I felt her nodding into my shoulder then, and I let out a sigh of relief. We pulled away about a minute later, and I reached up to wipe away the tears that she had silently cried.

"_I love you_." I said as I looked into her beautiful glistening eyes.

"_And I love you_." I heard her say before I felt her lips on my lips. It was then that I closed my eyes before I saw the last light at day's end.

I had never known a sunset so beautiful before, and now I could say that I have.

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**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars.**

**A/N (cont.): FYI I'm here to write a romantic story, NOT erotica. If you're here just for the sex or "sexy time," I'm sorry but you're in the wrong place. Plus, I'm really not in the mood to write sex recently, so I suppose here's the notice to stop reading if you're here for that. Thanks for reading anyway! **

**- Gloria **


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Have any of you watched the premiere episode of S4? Isn't it _insanely_ good? AND THE PAILY SCENE! OH GOD, it was PERRRRRRFECT. ;) **

**Anyway, I felt like this was a fun chapter to write. More of a transitional chapter to me. Hope you enjoy it, and have a nice day. :) **

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**Paige's POV**

"I miss Sammie already," Emily sighed from the passenger seat as Spencer drove away from Philadelphia International Airport. Sammie was returning to her family in Malibu, California for the summer and we were now all going to ride back together to Rosewood in Spencer's car. It would be about a little over an hour before we'd get back home and it was already half past noon.

"You won't miss her as much as I will." I pouted and crossed my arms against my chest as I sat back into my seat. I was plucked down right in the middle of the backseats, and I found it rather strange that I was. The passenger seat was _totally_ reserved for me, but of course, _Emily 'the girl I'm in love with' Fields_ wanted to sit in the passenger seat, and I couldn't argue with that. Between her best friend and her best friend's girlfriend, it was a dead giveaway who Spencer would've chosen to give the passenger seat to.

Emily then turned around to look at me from the front seat, and I sighed, well I wanted to whimper, as she gave me the pity expression. I hadn't meant to make her sad but the words had been true; I'd miss Sammie a lot more than any of them ever will. I've known her the longest out of us trio after all. Emily then reached a hand behind the seat and I took it to hold on momentarily for comfort before letting go shortly after.

"So, what's our plan this summer?" Spencer decided to move onto something much merrier than talking about Sammie's departure. I saw Emily giving Spencer a grateful glance for a few seconds, and I couldn't help but smile at witnessing such a beautiful friendship right before me.

"I'm sure whatever our plans are, Hanna would like – " Emily was suddenly cut off by the sound of the phone ringing.

"Speaking of the devil," Emily said with a teasing tone before picking up her phone and putting it on speaker for the rest of us to hear.

"_Hi Hanna_," Emily said into the phone as she glanced back at me with a smile. I returned it and stared at her side turned face as she tried to hold the phone in the middle of us three.

At least we had Hanna to keep us company for the next hour on the road, I sighed inwardly.

* * *

"Are you sure your mother doesn't mind me sleeping over? I mean_, here_. In _this_ bedroom. On _your _bed. With_ you_." I had to ask to make sure if Emily had twisted her mother's words around. She often did that when we were back in high school and things had _not_ gone so well when her mom came into Emily's room one morning and found us in the same bed, even though we had done _nothing_. Well, aside from a little bit of kissing and cuddling, we did _nothing_ at all.

"Yes, I'm _sure_." Emily rolled her eyes at me as she's putting away the last of her clothes for our three months stay in Rosewood. We had already dropped my stuff off at my home, and I had gathered some clothes for the next few days for my stay at the Fields' residence. I walked over to Emily's bed from the window seat and plopped right down on it before laying spread out on my back.

"_Good_, 'cause I can't handle another one of those Mama Fields moments." I breathed out as I closed my eyes. Emily's bed was so comfy and heavenly, and I felt as though I could fall asleep at any moment. It had been a long day and I really could use a nap right now.

"_What Mama Fields moments?_" the familiar voice popped up out of nowhere, and I sprung upright in Emily's bed as I looked to the bedroom door and found Mrs. Fields standing there with her arms across her chest. _Oh crap._

"Um…" I found myself trailing off as I looked over to Emily for help, only to find her trying to hold herself back from laughing at me. I looked back to Mrs. Fields to still see her staring at me expectantly, but she was already making her way into the bedroom and _towards me _might I add.

"_Well… Ha_… _You see_…" I tried, I did, and it was just so hard to get the words to come out. Mrs. Fields suddenly broke out into a smile and then pulled me into her arms once she reached me.

"Well, whatever it is dear, surely you can tell me at dinner, yes?" Mrs. Fields said as she pulled back from the embrace and held me at arm's length.

"Yeah. _Totally_." I said as I nodded with my eyes wide and attentive. Mrs. Fields smiled at me as she kept one arm around my shoulders and then turned to face her daughter.

"Emily, you've already told Paige about the sleeping arrangements, right?" she asked Emily and I turned to eye her suspiciously.

"_Yes, mom_." Emily rolled her eyes at Mrs. Fields as she smiled our way.

"Good. Now I trust that you girls will…_behave_ even though I'm allowing you both to…sleep together." Mrs. Fields finally said as the both of us tried to look anywhere but her. It was not the most comfortable situation or conversation to be a part of.

"_Mom_…" Emily whined as I tried not to laugh at the tone she used with her mother.

"Yes, yes I know. I'm just… _You two are growing up so fast_." Mrs. Fields said and I felt a squeeze on my shoulder, causing me to lean more into her side. If I didn't know any better, I wouldn't have been able to believe that this strong independent woman was crying. Yet here she was about to shed some reminiscent tears about our younger days.

Emily walked across the room and gathered the both of us into her arms, and I had to try my hardest not to laugh at the moment. _It was wrong_. I couldn't laugh while we were sharing such an intimate moment, but I did and when I started laughing, the two women standing before me began to dissolve into laughter as well. _Women_.

"Okay girls. Dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes. Make sure to wash up and – "

"Yes, we know!" Emily laughed as she ushered her mother out of her bedroom, and then leaned back against the door once it was closed. At that very moment, Emily and I locked eyes and I could see the playfulness begin to form behind her eyes.

"_Now._ Where were we?" Emily spoke with a suggestive tone as she began to slowly walk over to me.

"You were putting your clothes away?" I reminded her as I tilted my head over to the small pile of clothes near her closet. Emily rolled her eyes as she began straddling my lap, causing me to lean back on my hands to support my entire upper body. She began to unbutton my red plaid shirt one by one with her skilled hand, revealing the top of my tank top from underneath, as she leaned in to trail kisses along my jawline.

"_You're no fun_." Emily whispered into my ears before she pulled back and gently nipped my nose. I lifted myself up slightly from the bed and leaned in to catch her lips, but only to miss her by an inch, and then she swooped down to catch my lips. I felt Emily's hand making quick work of the buttons on my shirt while her other one was caressing my neck as we kissed.

"Hey Em – " We both stopped our movements, and Emily spun her head around while I try to look over her shoulder as I attempted to sit up straighter.

"Wow, that was _so_ hot." Hanna said wide-eyed as she eyed Emily's position on top of me. Apparently that didn't help the situation as Emily swung her leg over and climbed off of me before straightening out her shirt. She then stood up and adjusted her short denim jeans as well.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Emily said irritably as she made her way over to the closet to get back to the small pile of clothes on the floor. _Clearly,_ the Fields' home was filled with plenty of mood swings today. _I wonder why. _

"_I did knock!_ You were just too busy getting to third base over here to pay attention." Hanna rolled her eyes and then crossed her arms as she stood in front of me and sizing me up with her curious blue eyes.

"Can I help you _and_ your wandering eyes?" I grinned embarrassingly as I tried to re-button my shirt.

"Actually, you can." Hanna smirked as she walked towards me, her knees now bumping into mine that were hung over the edge of the bed. I looked at her confusedly before I saw her bend down and my eyes widened in fear at whatever she was about to attempt. I found myself scooting further away from her until she's climbed onto the bed, and I clutched at my shirt in some odd attempt to keep me safe from the devil herself anyway.

"Hanna, you're scaring my girlfriend." Emily's impassive tone halted Hanna's movement, and she finally cracked a smile before she threw her head over her shoulder and looked at Emily.

"_But it's so fun!_" Hanna literally squealed after she got off all fours on the bed and climbed off to walk over to where Emily was. Emily rolled her eyes at the blonde and I broke out in a sigh of relief before lying back down on the comfy bed.

"I need to borrow your girlfriend tomorrow so she can help me shop for Caleb's birthday present." Hanna said more than asked. I sat up in bed again and watched as Emily glanced over to me for a moment before returning her attention to the hangers in her hands.

"I don't _own _her, Han. Why don't you ask Paige yourself?" Emily gestured over to me as Hanna rolled her eyes. "Well, if you say yes, how could she _possibly_ say no?"

"That's true." I shrugged as Emily glanced over at me and I saw the corners of her lips lifting up a little.

"See? She's like…_putty_ in your hand." Hanna pointed out as I quirked an eyebrow at the back of her head.

"Keep going and I _won't_ help you at all." I said straightaway, causing the blonde to turn around and throw her hands in the air.

"_Fine_. Will you come with me to the mall tomorrow? I promise it'll be less than an hour of your time." Hanna pleaded as she walked over to me with her hands clasped together against her chest as she begged.

"Well, when you put it that way…" I teased the girl as she pouted and was now standing right before me. "Sure, but no more than an hour." I pointed a finger at her in warning. Hanna clapped her hands together before she threw herself at me and gave me a tight hug. I looked over at Emily and saw her smiling at us while she rolled her eyes. She loves Hanna, and she'd do anything for her. She knew it. I knew it too. Maybe Hanna did as well. Who knows?

"Great! I'll see you tomorrow!" Hanna said before she walked quickly over to Emily. The blonde then gave her a hug and kiss goodbye before bouncing out of the room like an energetic bunny.

"Shopping huh?" Emily teased me before I made a face at her.

"I'd start making plans if I were you. An hour without me will be the _loneliest _hour of your day, my dear." I winked before I made a beeline for the bathroom to wash up.

If I wasn't mistaken, I think I heard footsteps following right behind me as well.

_How predictable._

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**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: So...this came to me while I was driving. I have no idea. lol I whipped this one up real fast, so any errors I apologize for ahead of time, but I hope that you all still enjoy it nonetheless. Also, I'd like to wish everyone a wonderful day ahead. :) **

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**Emily's POV**

It was a pleasant feeling lying in bed and knowing that Paige would be coming through the bedroom door any moment. Things have really changed between us recently and I really couldn't be happier for those changes because of how close they've brought us together. It was the type of closeness that had us spending almost every night talking about the things we wanted out of life before we fell asleep. There was a future somewhere out there for the both of us, and I could only hope that our paths would somehow realign so that we could be together for a very long time. Maybe it was a little disheartening that I wasn't completely sure of everything that involved both of our parts, but I believed wholeheartedly that Paige loves me. She has told me more than enough times, and I had felt more comforted knowing she did. But I just sometimes get the feeling that _I wanted her more_. It was a feeling I simply couldn't shake off even if I wanted to.

The door suddenly creaked open and I turned over on my side to see Paige carefully closing the door behind her as she toweled her wet hair. Paige looked over to me and saw me staring, and she smiled at me as she set the towel on the chair at my study desk before climbing into bed with me. Paige stayed sitting on her side of the bed with her legs crossed, and I turned onto my other side to watch her as she ran her fingers through her hair. Her auburn tresses had grown longer and were now almost halfway down her back. She looked so pretty with long hair, and I lifted my head up to lean my temple into my palm as my elbow supported my head's weight. We stared at each other in silence, having a silent conversation the world probably wouldn't understand, and in that moment, I realized how settled down we were already. _She was my safety_.

"What are you thinking about?" Paige spoke softly as she continued to run her fingers through her hair. I looked up from her hands and found her eyes not more than a second after. She was staring at me with an intense gaze, almost curious, but the strands in her eyes had colored them wonderful to suddenly steal my breath away.

"_Tell me_." I said emotionally. I had no idea why I was saying what I did, but it had come out beyond my own control. Paige now looked at me half confused and half curious as to what I meant to say, but I just stared passionately into her brown eyes and was expecting for her to understand what was going on in my mind. She looked almost lost in me, seeing that I wasn't revealing the meaning behind my own words.

"Tell you _what_ exactly?" Paige hesitantly asked as she stopped combing her hair with her slender fingers. I slowly sat up and then inched forward towards her, bringing her lips to mine as I outright tackled her with fervor. I pulled away abruptly and Paige groaned as I did while I begin to look into her eyes, searching for whatever it is I was looking for. I didn't know what _exactly_ it is that I was seeking for, but I had tried to find it anyway. I brought up a hand to caress the side of her face while I straddled her hips and then I stared longingly into her eyes, wondering how naïve she was sitting there without a clue of the thoughts running through my mind.

"Tell me that we belong together." I whispered before I leaned in and kissed her lips. She melted into me without a second's hesitation and I found myself grinding down into her as she moaned into my mouth. She tried to turn us around and switched our positions, but I held onto her shoulders and kept her where she was before I startlingly pulled back once more. I looked searchingly into her eyes and Paige seemed to have gotten the message now, because she brought her hands to my lower back and pulled me towards her, the motion grinding both our pelvises together.

"I want to find you there in every day of my life, Emily." she leaned in and kissed my lips with a strong burst of emotion before pulling away slightly. "Every day from right now, I want to be caught in-between all you wish for and all that you need." she breathed my breath. "There's really nothing else I can say, but there's time. _I can show you_." Paige said against my lips before I let go and allowed myself to be completely consumed by her in our throes of passion that followed.

Sometimes, starving for the truth and desperately chasing after it helps give me some direction. _Some kind of clarity._

It always led me back into her arms.

* * *

I love waking up to the feeling of the sun rising high into the sky as the rays of sunlight gleamed radiantly towards me. It felt like I was riding the high myself as I slowly opened my eyes. I was then greeted with a head of hair lying on the pillow next to me. I turned my head slightly and saw that Paige had her back to me and her naked body was completely hidden away by the covers that had rose all the way up past her shoulder. I moved in towards her and got under the covers as well, circling my left arm around her waist as I pulled her into my body. She felt so warm beneath my touch, and I buried my nose in her hair as I breathed in her wonderful scent of faint vanilla and a little bit of lavender from my shampoo that she had used last night. I heard Paige moan slightly in her sleep and I smiled into her hair as I pressed butterfly kisses onto the back of her neck, brushing some hair aside so that I could brush my lips against the delicate skin on her shoulder as well.

Slowly but surely, I felt her move beneath my arm and Paige turned around and was now facing me as our chests were pressed together rather intimately. Paige tried to hide her face away into the crooked of my neck as soon as she realized that the sunlight was shining brilliantly in her direction. I cooed at the small early morning sounds she made as I brush the strands of hair out of her face, so that I could admire her angelic features. We had our arms wrapped around one another's bodies so closely that it felt like we were made to be molded into each other's frames. It felt like a joy one couldn't keep for long, and I almost sighed out loud at how right I was when I heard my phone beeping on the night table.

"Paige, can you grab that for me?" I asked her before she tried to reach for it, pushing me onto my back and then my breath hitched slightly as her breasts pressed intimately against mine. My carnal desires apparently never stopped when it came to Paige. Every little thing she did could turn me on easily, almost like a light switch. It was like finding a dress with pockets. One couldn't help but be amaze by the clever design, and at the same time it brought a special kind of happiness from the new discovery. It stirred a feeling inside that one couldn't really explain.

"Wow, my brain is weirdly channeling Hanna this morning." I whispered before I started chuckling softly.

"Well, she _is_ texting you _this_ early in the morning." Paige remarked as she handed me my phone and plopped back down on the pillow beside me, lying on her back this time around. I looked at the screen of my phone to find that Paige was not kidding when she mentioned Hanna had just texted me, and I found it even more odd that Hanna needed me to distract Caleb while she was out shopping with Paige.

"What did she say?" Paige said sleepily as she cuddled into my side and wrapped her arm around my middle.

"She wants me to take Caleb to The Brew for coffee. I feel like we just swapped places." I said as I finished typing a response agreeing with Hanna's request before I placed the phone back onto the table. I turned over and watched as Paige's eyes slowly wander over my semi-covered body and then back up to my eyes.

"Just make sure he knows his place and forget about trying to get fresh with my girlfriend." Paige said with slightly narrowed eyes before breaking into a smile. I sighed and brought my fingers up to trace her delicate features, wondering how I'd gotten so lucky.

"He wouldn't." I said back even though Paige was simply joking. She fairly often liked to point out how I attracted all the guys wherever we went. Although it may be true, I only had eyes for her.

"I know." Paige said as her eyes twinkled with amusement before leaning in to kiss my lips briefly. "I'll have to remind him to fend off the guys though, just to be safe." Paige added before throwing the covers off and picking up her sleeping shirt and shorts from the floor and putting them on quickly. She walked over to the study desk and grabbed her phone and began typing a message, to Caleb I assumed, before looking over to me.

"She told him about his plans with you today already, right?" Paige quirked an eyebrow as she questioned me. I nodded my head and bit down on my bottom lip as my eyes travelled down to her long good-looking legs. _God, I really need to get a grip_. I breathed out a bit unevenly as I brought my gaze back up to her face. Paige was still typing away on her phone and about a few seconds later, she set the cellular device back onto the table before crossing the room to my closet. I raised my eyebrows at this and I watched as Paige threw a glance back over her shoulder once she was at the entrance of the small walk-in closet.

"Hey Em, is it alright if I borrow your denim skirt?" she asked. I propped myself up on my elbows and stared at her curiously as I nodded, and I watched as she went in and almost a minute later came out with the skirt that she had been asking for.

"If I didn't know any better, I would think that you're trying to seduce my best friend, or possibly trying to pick up other girls." I teased as she went to her bag and grabbed some undergarments and a black semi-open side tank top that would've gone nicely with a lacey bra or bandeau top. _Yeah, that was certainly going to show a lot of skin_.

"And if I _did_ know any better, I'd say you were jealous." Paige teased me before she quickly strode out of the bedroom, leaving me in bed with my naked self. I let go of the weight on my forearms and fell back into bed thinking about the day ahead and sighed.

_Caleb had better be good company._

* * *

"So…" Caleb started as I took a sip from the cup of skinny vanilla latte that he had bought for me before I showed up. I looked up from the cup and tried not to laugh at his attempt to make conversations. I've barely sat down for five minutes while he had went to get our coffees and then come back with more condiments than I could ever imagine. It was completely unnecessary but I didn't have the heart to tell him to go put them back.

"Hanna borrowed my girlfriend for the hour, so it was only fair that I stole her boyfriend." I teased as I watch a smile touch his features. _He really is a handsome guy_, I observed.

"Ah…" he nodded as he looked around the café. It wasn't very busy for a Saturday morning and I could see how not many things have changed since I've last worked here during high school. _Some things just never change._

"You're not usually this awkward with Paige, are you?" I smiled curiously as he chuckled embarrassingly.

"_No, I'm not_. Actually, I just realized that this is the first time you and I are alone without company." Caleb added as he stroke the rim of his mug. I looked on interestingly and tried to think back to the times where we have hung out without the girls and found that he was right, we hadn't spoken over coffee before. Ever.

"You're right." I grinned shyly as we stared amusedly into one another's eyes.

"So, how are you and Paige doing, if you don't mind me asking?" Caleb suddenly put forward. I was slightly thrown off at his straightforwardness. _Maybe Hanna had influenced him more than I had previously thought. _

"In love and couldn't be any happier." I admitted after a few seconds, while smiling like a lovesick fool.

"Is that so? My source is surely getting wrong details then." Caleb wore a thoughtful expression as he said this.

"This source…" I began as I looked at him suspiciously.

"It's Hanna." he chuckled as he took a sip from his coffee. I quirked an eyebrow his way before rewinding yesterday and today's events inside my head.

"Did she send you here to talk to me? Is this what it's about?" I asked as he sent me a curious glance.

"What _exactly_ is it that she wanted me to talk to you about?" Caleb vaguely asked.

"I don't know! You're sitting there…with your thinking expression on, and you're telling me in the least subtle way that – "

"Whoa Emily, slow down." Caleb motioned with his hands as he smiled concernedly my way. "I only got a text this morning to come here at one-thirty and meet with _you_. That was all there was to the message. Oh, and I got Paige's warning as well." he smiled and confirmed with me what my girlfriend had told me this morning.

"_Oh_." I barely managed to say as I realized how I almost screwed up Hanna's surprise for him. _That was a close call_.

"Yeah, so no need to get worked up over nothing." Caleb slowly nodded as the tension gradually went away.

"Sorry, that was totally uncalled for." I apologized, suddenly filled with embarrassment.

"No, I get it. Well, from what Hanna says…" Caleb went off again.

"What exactly did she tell you?" I finally decided to ask him.

"Um…" Caleb laughed awkwardly as he reached behind and scratched his head. I knew immediately what it was that Hanna had told him then.

"That was months ago, Caleb. Paige and I… We're very _happy_ now." I was hoping to come across much clearer than my words had. Caleb's eyes widened a little in surprise but he smiled anyway.

"Oh, I see." Caleb said as he looked elsewhere to regain his straight face.

"Look, we don't have to talk about this. Why can't we have a normal conversation like everyone else?" I asked forthrightly. Caleb turned his attention to me again as he cleared his throat and then decided to speak first.

"You're right. Um, so how's…" Caleb suddenly threw his hands in the air and then dropped them onto his lap. "_Ah, I give up!_" he sighed with frustration.

"Sorry. I swear, it's not like I'm trying to stick my nose in where it doesn't belong, but all Paige and I ever talk about when we hang out are…you and Hanna." he smiled shyly as he rolled his eyes.

"_Really?_" I found myself uttering.

"Really." Caleb looked at me with a dreadfully earnest expression. _That's sweet._

"Wow." I let out a breath as I looked away.

"She really loves you, Emily. It…gets pretty ridiculous sometimes how we're both talking about our girlfriends and not even listening to each other talk." Caleb laughed as he said this and I joined in and then looked at him gratefully.

"Thanks, Caleb." I smiled before I looked down at my hands.

"Thank _her_. She's a fighter, that girl." I heard Caleb sigh again and I looked up to see him staring at the coffee mug in-between his hands.

"That, she is." I agreed as we both then looked at each other. It hadn't occurred to me how much importance she was to other people as well. I'd been so wrapped up in my own emotions, I had completely ignored everyone else's. _I'm such an idiot_.

"Happiness lies for those who cry, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives." Caleb spoke with so much faith in the words he had said a moment ago. "I just wish I'd known what she was talking about when she told me that during our final year in high school. I understand it now. _I really do_." he said, and it seemed like he was speaking more to himself than to me.

"Nothing's going to happen to her, Caleb." I heard myself say, not really sure if I was trying to convince him or myself. "_She belongs with us_." I whispered softly as I stared at the patterns carved into the wooden table. I then heard him chuckle across from me, and I looked up to see his mirth-filled his eyes. _This guy's ridiculously cheery all the time, no wonder Hanna's so in love with him._

"Lovers, they'll hold on. They always do." Caleb winked my way before bringing the coffee mug up to his lips to take another sip. I did the same, and we basked in the quietness of each other's company, not caring that we were having a fulfilling silent moment to recognize the wondrous truth.

_"Love is magical."_ I finally uttered after holding out for what I don't know. _  
_

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**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Okay, so here's the deal. I _really_ like writing this story again, but I'm not sure if it's going well or not from the lack of feedbacks/responses from you folks in the few previous chapters. I've been getting a lot of messages to resume writing of my other story in the Twilight fanfic section, and I know that if I do, I won't be able to continue to update this story anytime soon. I feel a bit conflicted. You gotta tell me _now_ if you're still reading and want me to update this story, or else I'm going to have to go back to my Twilight story (because I'm getting _a lot_ of messages lately to update and I feel so guilty for not updating where a story's being read more than my other fanfics). lol _Please_ make this an easier decision for me! :) Anyway, I hope you enjoy this fun update and don't forget to have another wonderful day ahead! **

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**Paige's POV**

"I thought we were shopping for Caleb?" I asked as I trailed after the blonde in front of me. "We have an hour to get this done, remember?" I decided to remind her. Hanna turned around and faced me, putting on what appears to be her most unfriendly expression, but it didn't seem to faze me at all. I think I've seen it too many times by now that it seriously was losing its effect.

"I lied, okay? I just wanted to have_ my_ Paige time. Emily's been hogging you all year, and I totally deserve this." Hanna argued before she spun back around and strode across the women's clothing store. I stood there a little dumbstruck, realizing I had just been duped into a shopping trip with Hanna. _Great_.

I started to walk around looking for Hanna, well, a head of blond hair to be exact, and it took me almost a minute before I finally found her. She was holding a nice top against her upper body while admiring herself in the mirror, and I rolled my eyes as I quickly made my way towards her.

"Look, you could've just asked. No need to…run around in circles like you did today. _Totally unnecessary_." I nodded as I tried to make my point. Hanna was now staring at me with this simple curious expression, and I tilted my head to the side wondering what on Earth was now running through that blond head of hers.

"Really?" she hesitantly asked.

"Really, really." I smiled and walked over to take the shirt out of her hand and put it back onto the rack again. I then took her hand and hurriedly led her out of the shop, finding my way around the block until I found the one place I was looking for.

"Where are we going?" Hanna finally asked after a few minutes as I continued to pull her along. I glanced back at her and smiled as the wind passed through us, causing the ends of her summer dress to flap lightly while tossing both our hairs along with the air current.

"You'll see." I said before I turned my head back around to navigate the both of us to my intended destination.

After another few more minutes of walking briskly to where I remembered, we were finally standing in front of the antique store I remembered Caleb had mention in our passing conversation. Hanna looked at the entrance with confusion, probably wondering why on Earth we were standing in front of a rundown store before us.

"Caleb likes antique handwritten letters. He loves to recreate his own version of them, and I probably shouldn't be telling you this but…" I paused as I looked her right in the eyes while smiling, "Caleb has written a lot of letters to you, and he keeps them locked away in this rustic metal box. He's told me that he hopes when he's older and…well, when you two are an old married couple with children, you and him could read it together and then pass the tradition and the letters down to your descendants to hold onto them." Hanna gasped and had thrown both hands over her mouth in shock, and by the looks of it, she was deeply touched by Caleb's romantic gesture. "They sell really nice writing paper and ink here, and I think it'd be a sweet surprise for him if you were the one that bought it. I mean, you don't need a special occasion to give Caleb a gift right?" I asked. Hanna only nodded in silence before she took a step towards the store, and then she halted before she looked at me and grasped my forearm.

"Emily's a _real_ lucky girl." Hanna spoke before she threw her arms around my neck and embraced me. I patted her back to let her know that I knew, and we let go of each other before we entered the store together.

_I'm the lucky one._

* * *

As I opened the door and walked into The Brew after Hanna, I was immediately hit with the smell of coffee that was wafting through the air. My eyes roamed the room for about ten seconds before I spotted the girl I love as she spoke animatedly to Caleb about something. I smiled and slowly snuck up behind her, bringing a finger to my lips to silence Caleb's opened mouth that was ready to speak, and then I covered her eyes with both my hands before leaning in towards her right ear.

"_Guess who_." I whispered as I felt the slight shiver that ran through her body. Emily sighed and leaned her back against my chest, and I believe I felt her eyes flutter a bit behind my hands.

"My dream come true?" Emily asked in a singsong voice, and I heard Hanna snort beside me before she walked over and kissed Caleb briefly on the lips before settling down in the wooden chair next to him. I leaned down to kiss the top of Emily's head before removing my hands from her eyes, and she looked up at me with the most beautiful brown eyes I still haven't gotten used to seeing.

"You've got that right, angel." I said before leaning down again and kissing her lips upside down. I heard her moan slightly into my mouth as she pressed her lips firmer up against mine, and I had to pull away before she gave everyone in the coffee shop a free show.

"Gosh, quit being so cute!" I heard Hanna say from across the table before I stepped aside and pulled the chair out beside Emily and sat down. I nodded at Caleb to greet him and he returned it before standing up.

"The usual?" Caleb asked as he began walking backwards and away from us. Hanna and I both nodded at the same time, and I looked over to Emily to see her smiling at me.

"_What?_" I asked curiously and smiled back at her.

"_You_." Emily simply said before leaning in to kiss me on the lips. We both smiled into the kiss and only broke away when we suddenly heard Hanna coughing from two feet away. I looked over at Hanna, expecting a teasing smirk on her face, but what I wasn't prepared for was the person who was standing at the side of our table.

"Emily." Maya said with that sultry tone I've heard her used on Emily so many times before back in high school. I almost wanted to glare at her but I heard Hanna scoffed at Maya's use of Emily's name and thought better of it not to.

"Maya." Emily looked completely shock at seeing her former high school lover. I watched as the two stared at one another for a long while, and I saw Emily opening her mouth to speak several times, but the words wouldn't come out. I sighed inwardly, remembering that Maya was Emily's first love after all. _How could I ever forget_?

"You look good." Maya finally broke the silence and I found myself catching Hanna's eyes before she rolled them and leaned back into her seat, crossing her arms in an unwelcoming manner to our guest. I found myself feeling slightly disoriented with having to be a part of this situation, and as I began to inch a little further away from Emily, she suddenly grabbed my hand from underneath the table and held onto me tight. I instantly looked up at her face and found her serious expression rather intimidating.

"Thanks." Emily said curtly after a whole minute. I glanced back over to Hanna and found her with almost the same expression as Emily.

_Shit's about to go down_, Hanna mouthed at me and I smiled amusedly at the blonde's choice of words.

"I see that you're back in town." Maya remarked and I caught her looking over Emily's body appreciatively as she did so. She must _so_ wants my fist her face right now.

"Yeah, I am. With my _girlfriend_." Emily added as she brought our entwined hands up to rest on the table in plain view for Maya to see. I guess she hasn't quite forgiven Maya for breaking up with her so suddenly, having skipped town and never bothered to say goodbye before she left. Yeah, I'd probably resent her too if I were Emily.

Maya instantaneously looked over to me, quickly giving me the onceover and frowning before she looked at me gravely in the eyes.

"She's quite the looker." I noticed a hint of bitterness in her voice. I almost wanted to laugh in her face as soon as I heard those words coming out of her mouth, but I held back and looked at Hanna and quirked an eyebrow. _Bitch doesn't even recognize you_, Hanna mouthed and I finally laughed out loud. Both Emily and Maya looked at me in confusion, and I threw my free hand over my mouth and tried to stop but it wasn't working because I found myself snorting through my hand instead.

"Oh God!" I continued to laugh as Emily and Hanna started to smile at me. At least I had somehow found a way to lighten the mood in this room.

"What's so funny?" Maya asked irritably as she crossed her arms across her chest. I tried looking anywhere but her and then I had found Emily's eyes, and my laughter finally stopped as I gaze into them. It was then that I saw the truth.

I saw forgiveness. I saw the pain. And most importantly, I saw the love in her eyes.

"_Nothing_." I said as I continued to look into Emily's eyes. Yet there was something about the way she looked into my eyes that made it so easy to forget my worries. This is the part where I could say I'm in love, and maybe the moment I lean in and kiss her.

"So…" Maya went on again and I had to roll my eyes as she kept on interrupting my moment with Emily. Emily smiled and then reached up to caress the side of my face and leaned in to kiss me. I mean, really _actually_ kissing me in front of her former girlfriend. When we both pulled away, I couldn't help but smile and I saw her eyes sparkle with something I've never really seen before.

"_This is Paige_." Emily finally introduced me, as she looked into my eyes for one more second before returning her glance back to Maya. I did as well and I was certainly amused when I saw that Maya finally recognized who I was.

"You…" she began and I had to try not to crack a smile while I quirked an eyebrow in question. "You're dating the girl who tried to _drown _you back in high school?" Maya let out in disbelief and my amused expression immediately turned into a scowl before I looked over to Emily to see her reaction. She had merely shrugged and smiled apologetically my way, and we both turned our attention back to Maya again at the same time when I saw a hand grasp Emily's shoulder.

"How can you possibly date someone who's treated you so badly?" Maya questioned Emily.

"Says the girl who skipped town without a word to her ex-girlfriend, who by the way, she had left behind to figure out by herself for weeks that they were broken up." I deadpanned as I stared fiercely into the darker girl's eyes. She looked almost frightened when I had finally glared at her, and I could only wish that she were completely chill to the bone by now.

"Here you are ladies, a – " Caleb stopped midsentence when he saw Maya, and I realized right then that I couldn't be any more glad for his sudden appearance.

"I think you should go." Emily said with a warning tone as she rubbed the back of my hand with her thumb to comfort me. I had relaxed a bit from her touch, and I looked at Caleb as he hesitantly handed me my coffee and then set Hanna's down before her. I turned to see if she's already gone yet, but Maya was still standing there, almost as if she hadn't heard a word Emily had said and was glued in place as she tried to look intensely into Emily's eyes.

"Em – " she barely began before I couldn't take it any more and stood up from my spot to stare her _down_ this time around.

"_Look_, you can't just walk up to Emily and _pretend_ like you didn't hurt her, _disregard _the fact that I'm her _girlfriend_, and then _rudely_ make snarky comments about how much better you are than I am to be with her, so you need to leave like right _now_." I ordered as I tried to keep my voice down. She seemed to have gotten the message because she finally started moving her feet, but not before she took another glance at Emily, who didn't even seem to bother to meet her eyes. I watched as Maya went over to take her coffee from the bar and then headed out of The Brew, and when she did, I finally let out the breath that I wasn't aware I had been holding in and sank down into my seat. Emily patted my hand gently, to calm me down I assumed, and I looked over to Emily and saw her smiling brilliantly my way.

"_What?_" I asked nervously as I looked down into my lap. Maybe I had taken it _a bit_ too far.

"_My knight in shining armor_." Emily cooed as she leaned in and kissed the corner of my mouth. I finally turned to look at her and saw that she was actually enthralled by my little outburst from earlier.

"_God_, they're like stuck in a Disney movie or something with all these fairytale-ish princess-y lines." Hanna said teasingly and I glance over to see her smiling at the both of us. Without a warning, Hanna then turned to Caleb and punched him in the arms and she pouted when Caleb just yelped in pain.

"Why can't _we_ be like them? _You_ need to be Aladdin, so that _I_ can be Jasmine." Hanna said to Caleb as she twirled a strand of hair with her fingers. We all looked at her a little confused and she rolled her eyes and went on, "You know, Aladdin, the guy who turned into a prince to win the heart of Princess Jasmine?" The three of us looked at each other in amusement and I just shrugged my shoulders when I finally met Caleb's glinting eyes.

"Are you asking me to take you on _a magic carpet ride_?" Caleb turned and gave Hanna a flirty grin.

"_Ew!_ I do _not_ need to hear this." I said as I scrunched up my face in disgust. They all laughed at me and Hanna looped her arms with Caleb as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"That was close enough, babe." Hanna giggled as Caleb winked my way.

"Okay, if you two don't stop, Em and I are leaving right this instance." I said for the both of us before I looked at Emily to see if she was okay with what I said. Fortunately, she was smiling adoringly my way and I watched as she reached out a hand to push my cup of coffee towards me.

"You still haven't touched your coffee." Emily spoke softly as she let go of my hand to reach for her own cup. She then cradled the coffee cup in both her hands and I simply couldn't remember the last time I've watched her doing something so simple but genuinely beautiful like this.

"_Stop staring_." Emily whispered as a blush crept onto her face. I smiled and then brought the cup of coffee to my lips and drank it quietly as I briefly glanced at her from the corner of my eyes.

"Caleb and I are still here, you know." Hanna jumped in out of nowhere and brought my concentration back to the couple sitting across from us.

"Sorry." I grinned as I took another glance at Emily who was smiling shyly my way.

"Hm, looks like we made it. Look how far we've all come." Caleb sighed rather contently as he wrapped an arm around Hanna's shoulders and pulled her in closer to him. I smiled at how right he was and looked over to Emily just in time to see her grasp my hand.

"A long way." I said as I caught Emily's beautiful doe eyes.

_And we're still going strong_.

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**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **


	36. Chapter 36

**A/N: WOW! Where did you ALL pop out from?! Were you folks all hiding under the same rock? LOL I'm joking! But gosh, thank you SO much for the 20+ reviews in the last chapter! I feel a lot better now knowing that there are more readers here. :) I have decided I will continue to write this story after looking over all of your reviews. I wrote this chapter at 4-5am last night, so it might be a bit all over the place. I don't know. But I hope you all enjoy it. Anyway! Thank you so much for all of your responses and kind words! I really appreciate them. :) **

**- Gloria**

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**Emily's POV**

Paige and I walked most of the way home from The Brew in silence. The evening was far from near, but the summer air had already begun to cool down as we strolled along the town's centre sidewalk. It was a nice day thus far with the sun out and shining, casting our shadows holding hands onto the concrete pavement as we walked. Paige was awfully quiet since we had left the café only half an hour ago, and I couldn't help but wonder about what was on her mind. I could actually think of one thing, but it didn't seem to make much sense in my mind. _Was it Maya?_

_Maya. _

I can't believe she was here of all places. Why was she back in town? Why did she look at me the way she did? It was a look that almost screamed that I belonged with her of all people. It was insulting to say the least. I had known that I didn't want to even speak to her the moment I had said her name. The word had spread bitterly inside my mouth as soon as it escaped my lips, and when I couldn't find my voice to speak no more, she had resorted to flattering me with _honeyed_ words. Paige had started to inch away from me at that point and I had quickly made a grab for her hand, holding onto her tight before she could even begin to think that there could possibly be anything going on between Maya and me. _She'd left me_.

That was all I could think about when Maya stood by our table, looking as though she was waiting to be seated by one of us. Then, I saw how she had looked me over. It almost resembled the way she used to stare at me back in high school. Her eyes were filled with lust and longing, and it turned my stomach when I recognize the familiar stare. It wasn't in the good way either.

I had quickly reintroduced Paige to Maya so that she knew I was taken, but of course her bad-mannered ways haven't completely changed because she was soon overstepping lines by ridiculing _my _choice of lady friends. I was enraged by her words but Paige had already beat me to it, calling to mind how Maya had abandoned me years ago and left me to figure out all on my own that we were broken up. We never had a clean cut. A proper closure. But that didn't matter to me, because I found Paige. I had Paige. I _have _Paige.

_Paige. _

I'd never seen her so angry before. So upset. So enraged. It was honestly kind-of hot if I were to be truthful. The way her nose flared as she breathed unevenly, chest heaving, eyes darkening, her voice turning husky as she told Maya to leave, and I remember feeling her hand shaking in mine as she huffed out each word at Maya. Her body trembled when she watched Maya like a hawk, making sure she was gone for good. I had stroke her hand lovingly, wanting to calm her down at the time and it appeared to have work because she instantly let out a deep sigh and then sat back in her seat.

It should've been fear when I had look at her face, but I didn't see it. Honestly, I didn't care how fearful she looked trying to intimidate Maya. I had never known Paige to express such a fierce side ever since our _incident _where she unsuccessfully tried to sabotage me back in high school. Paige had an edge to her that everyone was aware of, but that side of her was only ever present in the pool now. Seeing it again earlier, it sparked something inside of me. I kept thinking how desirable she was at that moment, all worked up and flustered, and I could only smile at her for trying to brave her aggressive and intense side. Paige was a forceful storm when she needed to be, and Maya had seen that right before her disbelieving eyes. I was actually quite proud of my woman back there. She had handled it better than I could have ever imagined.

"_Emily_." I heard Paige say my name as she tugged a little on my hand that was entwined with hers. I turned my head to the left and looked at her, seeing concern etched all over her face. I re-entwined my left hand with her right, and I brought my right hand over to hold onto her forearm as well while we walked. It seemed to have comforted her a little because she began to smile, and I returned it. Not too long after, my smile had disappeared as I resumed back to my thoughts of Maya.

"I was _absolutely livid_ to see her again." I spoke quietly and then I saw the smile fade from her lips. I curled myself closer around her arm, and I felt Paige's hand tightened a little in mine when I did.

"She had no right…_no place_ to even say the things she did." I continued as I looked into Paige's eyes. Her brown orbs expressed understanding and I felt her gradually slowing down our steps.

"I love _you_. Only you." my voice fell to a whisper at the last two words. Paige had stopped us from walking now and we both turned to face each other on the empty sidewalk. Paige reached up a hand and caressed the side of my face, and I could only leaned further into her touch, closing my eyes as I revel in the feeling of her tender love and care.

"I know that, Emily. You make the flowers grow in the saddest parts of me too." Paige spoke lovingly and I opened my eyes to see her staring at me with a sadness I'd never seen before. "I love you with all of my heart. You _are_ my heart. The centre of my being. But I also know in my heart, in yours, that you still love the people that you have _loved_, and that is fine by me."

The idea of me loving Maya tore at my skin from inside out. I didn't want to believe that it was true. How could I _possibly _believe that when I felt that Paige was the one who had a hold of my heart all along? It wasn't believable. It wasn't nearly easy to define the way I was feeling.

"You know what people like to do when they're very, very sad?" she suddenly asked after a long while of silence. I looked at her and wondered what it could be, because the glint her eyes showed honest enthusiasm for whatever it was she's about to suggest.

"What?" I said to humor her anyway, not even bothering to argue that I wasn't sad at all. But if I had said that, I'd be lying.

"They like to watch sunsets." Paige answered while she smiled easily.

"They do?" I asked curiously and quirked an eyebrow in question.

"_Yes_, they do. Do you want to know why?" Paige asked as she lifted her other hand to caress the right side of my face, and then I saw the smile in her eyes just as I waited for an answer.

"It is in that profound moment in-between daylight fading and day's end that they find comfort. It is when day and night meet. As the sky trembles to change colors, _anything_ feels possible. Anything can happen. Anything can be believed in." Paige spoke with a belief that I tried to understand.

"But when the sun's gone, there's no candle that can replace it. The pale stars slide into their places in the sky, and the moon comes out to breathe. The world becomes more muted by the night, time passes by like the fishes in the sea, and then there is the rising of the sun once again." Paige said dreamily as she gazed into my eyes, coloring my face red as I felt so incredibly unsettle by the love that emanated from the look in her eyes.

"Sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset, and the cycle will go on indefinitely, but you know what happens over time?" Paige lowered her voice to speak softly again. I shook my head slightly in-between her warm hands, and I felt her thumbs caress my face lovingly, causing me to smile as I look right into her eyes.

"It eventually gets easier to feel the sunlight, and then they find the beauty in their spirits. All that's left of their sadness is forgotten, and in place are the memories of the rising and setting of the sun brightening up their world." Paige smiled.

The sun decided to shine from behind Paige's head right then, causing a stunning depiction of an angel's halo, and I could only stare incredulously into her brown eyes as I melted underneath her gaze. I slowly lifted my hands and gently placed them over hers, closing my eyes then to breathe in the beautiful moment.

"Sometimes, it gets easier to feel the sunlight when you leave small pieces of yourself behind wherever you go." I heard Paige say and I slowly nodded in understanding. Opening my eyes, I saw her looking at me in wonderment and then shaking her head when she found my eyes.

"Take what you need, and then let's put this behind us alright? Let's go watch the sunset, if that's what you need." Paige said with her knowing smile. I sighed in amazement at how she's gotten me so completely wrapped around her finger. I love the way that she can comfort me with words and make me feel better with just that one simple smile.

I removed her hands from my face and held them both by our sides as we both slowly leaned in, and I let myself savor the breath before the kiss until our lips finally met. I closed my eyes and _trusted_. Pouring all I could of my being of that moment into our kiss and fed her with all the love that I can muster, and _I just trusted_.

I've never felt this way about anyone before; being _touched_ so gently I wanted to cry.

And in that moment I realized one single truth.

I _really_ love her.

* * *

Paige led us away from the straight path to my house, and I could only smile as she pulled me along by my hand as she walked a few steps before me. I watched the sun glimmered in her brunette hair and the wind kindly tossed her wavy tresses into the summer air. Her figure from behind suddenly reminded me of our younger days back in high school when she'd have moments of making spontaneous decisions, and seeing the happy look on her face now, I could only guess the one place that she was leading me to.

I hadn't even thought of the place until now actually. We haven't been able to go see the meadow since we've arrived back in town during our past visits, and having just barely arrived a few days in Rosewood for the summer, we haven't made plans to visit it yet. _I suppose we are now._ I shook my head slightly and smiled at the beautiful girl happily guiding me to our sacred place.

After about ten minutes, we enter a hedged trail and began walking through the narrow path that consisted of the earth's soil, small plants, branches, trees, and the forest's quietness. It was beautiful and green all over, and neither Paige nor I spoke up as we traversed through the woodland in peace. The only sounds that filled our ears thus far were the sounds of small breaks and splits from either one of us stepping on twigs and plants' offshoots. The tall sequoias shaded us from the beaming sun, but still sunlight had glittered through the gaps between each of the trees. It wasn't long before I saw the bright light at the end of the trail, indicating the end of our little hike. I could see the place that I fell in love with, and sky was shining so brightly onto the picturesque setting, making my heart skip a beat at the sight.

Soon enough, Paige and I had settled down by the Lake Meadow, with me sitting in front of her as she wrapped her arms around my middle and leaning forward to rest her chin on my right shoulder. We watched the tranquil scene surrounding us while the sun was still in the middle of the sky. It appeared like it'd probably be another hour or two before the sun would set. It was quiet and serene, and the smell of wildflowers and green grass permeated the air around us with the kind of sweetness that reminded me of our past stays here.

"_I miss this_." I said as I wrapped my arms atop hers. Paige leaned in closer and held me to her as she breathed out a slow steady sigh right by my ear. I closed my eyes and breathed in the beautiful scent that surrounded us, and memories of November 6th and the beat of her heart from years ago jumped through my shirt, making my heart beat faster than ever with the remembrances of us together.

"I used to watch the sky here all alone, wondering if you've forgotten me." Paige suddenly spoke and I rested my temple against hers as I soaked in the feeling of her arms around me. "I thought of how I'd never see you again, and that I'd spend the rest of my life wondering about you, wishing that I could've spent every day on this Earth being with you." she spoke softly near my ear. I let her words sink in, and I recall how those words must've echoed in the wind and carried it to me, because I had thought about the same things. I had wanted to be the girl Paige love all her life. _I still do_.

"_Sometimes, the wrong choices brings us to the right places_." I whispered as I remembered those same echoes in the wind calling me back in time to carry me back to her. I felt Paige move her head on my shoulder and I felt a light kiss against my temple, and I smiled at the sweet affection she showed me.

"And we're _miles_ away from that yesterday." I understood what she meant by those words. That yesterday when we were mourning each other's losses. That yesterday when we could only hope that it was all a bad dream. That yesterday when we hadn't any idea that it was our last kiss until we meet again. That yesterday when loneliness added beauty to life, fanning the flames of the special burn on sunsets.

_Sunset. _

I looked up just in time to see the sun slowly floating down just like it had _yesterday_. I turned my head to see if Paige was watching the sunset as well, but I had caught her eyes instead, watching me with a shine in her eyes that resembled the big fading star in the sky. The light flickered in her eyes with the most intense glare, and I felt my heart wanting to slow dance to the burning lights in her eyes.

"_Kiss me_." I whispered into the space between us, and her eyes widened a little in surprise by my words. Slowly but surely, Paige leaned in and closed the gap between our lips, and I closed my eyes only to feel the world around us start to tremble.

Sometimes, words aren't enough for these kinds of moments, but that's okay.

It's absolutely perfect to just leave these moments be.

These moments are what they simply are.

_Moments._

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**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **


	37. Chapter 37

**A/N: You know, I never know what to write here but to tell you folks to enjoy the story and have a good day, or back when I had started, responded to reviews. :) This chapter's a bit longer than my usual recent updates and I'm happy that I've finally gotten a longer chapter out. The first scene of this chapter was written yesterday, and the rest of it was today's work. I've been really busy with school and have no idea how I managed to update this story so frequently, but that's going to discontinue for now because I need to focus more on schoolwork with the workload that have amassed over the last few weeks. I'll try to update at least once or twice a week, but if I don't, please understand that I have to prioritize. Enjoy! :)**

**P.S. I am _sooo_ good to you guys. I feel bad for my Twilight readers. lol Might be updating that story the next time instead of this one. ;) Just a heads up about that. Anyway, good day everyone!**

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**Paige's POV**

Emily and I walked home hand in hand after watching the sunset together, and I couldn't help but think about how different things were between us. It had been hard to say aloud and acknowledge the fact that a part of Emily would always love Maya earlier. I knew deep inside my heart that I meant more to her now than Maya did, but a part of me still felt threatened by her presence. Emily did love her a lot in high school, and she was Emily's first girlfriend too. Firsts were always significant in one way or another. As sad as it made me feel to admit it, firsts weren't easily forgotten.

The well-lit sky was plain to see even though most of the blue were dark now. Streetlights glimmered and illuminated the roads, and cars would pass by every minute or so as we walk. It was a charming night thus far. Emily was now talking about the pool day we were going to have at my house tomorrow while I watched the evening air caress her brown tresses with a gentle grace. She looked so beautiful beneath the subtle moonlight's glow, like a light walking through the dark by itself, setting everything around her aglow. I couldn't for the life of me understand why my head kept swimming, but I knew one thing.

_This was where I belong. _

"Paige, are you even listening to what I'm saying anymore?" Emily's question snapped me out of my evanescent drunken stupor.

"What were you saying?" I asked without conscious thought. Emily chuckled as she glanced at me amusingly, tilting her head to the side as she watched me shrink a little from embarrassment.

"I asked if maybe you'd want to watch Rudy with me tonight." Emily spoke softly as her eyes then lowered to the ground. _Rudy. God, I am so bone-tired of that movie_. I let out a heavy sigh before pulling Emily by her hand, causing her to come closer to me as we walked.

"Fine, but only if you don't get mad at me when I fall asleep on you ten minutes in." I smiled as she lifted her head up and looked at me in surprise.

"Really?" she asked and I could immediately hear the excitement in her voice. I rolled my eyes at her and let out another exaggerated sigh before I release her hand and then wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

"Yes, really." I said as she laid her head on my shoulder while we walked. I turned a bit and leaned down to kiss the top of her head, and smiled weakly as I thought about tonight's plan. Emily needed a distraction to get her through the night, and who was I to deny her of that diversion? The thought saddened me a bit, knowing that Emily was still very much bothered by Maya's appearance at The Brew earlier today.

I should've thrown the coup de grâce to her smug face while I had the chance.

_That would've gone well…_

On second thought, Emily probably wouldn't have approved of that kind of behavior from me.

_Darn._

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I stood behind Emily with one arm wrapped around her middle while I rested the right side of my face on her left shoulder facing away from her neck. It was _way_ too early to have coffee this morning, but here we were, standing in a long line at The Brew getting coffee with the girls. I could've sworn I heard one or two of the girls giggle as they spoke with Emily, probably pointing a finger at sleepy ol' me. Six in the morning is _such_ an ungodly hour in the summer just to wake up and grab coffee. I really had no idea how Hanna could possibly be okay with this since she's as chirpy as she's ever been this morning too. I sighed and tighten my hold around Emily's middle, and I felt her slightly turn her head, probably to check if I was okay.

"Paige, come on. Stop sulking and _wake up_." I heard Spencer say before I turned my head and rested the left side of my face onto Emily's shoulder, facing away from the others with my nose buried into the side of her neck. I heard Emily softly giggle and I smiled as I pressed a soft kiss to the side of her neck, receiving a small sigh emitted from her as a response. Emily's warm body and fragrant smell was so winning this morning, drawing me in and keeping me there leaning into her as the distracting sounds and noises in the coffee shop tried to disturb my restful moment.

I felt Emily moved a little and I lifted my head up to see that the line was moving once again, and I sighed as I stood up straight and rubbed my eyes with my fingers as I followed the girls, who were already a couple of steps ahead. I saw Emily turned around to glance at me and I smiled sleepily before I walked to stand beside her and take her hand. Her thumb lightly caressed the back of my hand and I let out a sigh as I looked at the chalkboard up ahead with a list of coffee drinks this morning.

"God Emily, what did you do to her?" I heard Aria asked as I turned to look at her. Spencer and Hanna laughed as Emily's face flushed red, and I leaned in and bump shoulders with her before smirking a bit. Emily didn't seem to take kindly to this action as she gave me a pointed glare, but it had faltered almost a second after and she was then smiling at me.

"Stop it." Emily ordered me as my smile widened even more when I release her hand and wrapped my arm around her middle again, pulling her into my side.

"Stop what?" I teased as I leaned in and kissed her cheek, earning me a light smack on my shoulder. Emily gave me a challenging look, daring me to go on but I decided it was probably best not to start with her this morning. I quickly put on my most innocent expression, softening my eyes a little bit and pushing my lips forward to get the effect it needed. Emily immediately rolled her eyes at me and I cracked a smile when I saw her finally grin at my silly antics.

"Emily made me stay up and watch Rudy _three times_ with her last night." I barely finished before I heard all the other girls gasp. _Oh yeah, we've all been there_. I nodded in understanding with widened eyes, and I felt the slap to my shoulder again. I turned and looked at Emily, only to find her frowning at me.

"I didn't_ make_ you. You _volunteered_." Emily said as she began to pout. I smiled and leaned in to kiss her pouty lips, and she tried to push me away when she saw me leaning in but I caught her lips just in time anyway.

"_Okay,_ I volunteered." I said against her mouth before I pressed another loving kiss to her lips.

"Guys…" I heard Aria said before I pulled back and followed Aria's gaze along with Emily.

"What is she…stalking us now?" Hanna crossed her arms as she gave the approaching girl her dirtiest look. I almost wanted to chuckle out loud at how funny it was that Hanna would make this moment about _her_. I felt Emily tensed slightly beside me and I loosen my right arm around her middle a bit to give her some space.

"Hello Emily, we meet again." Maya said with her disgustingly sultry tone, and I quickly rolled my eyes at her while Hanna coughed the word '_slut_' loud enough for all of us but Maya to hear.

_Great. I'm fully awake now._

"Maya." Emily spoke her name with a bit of force and I turned my head a little to get a better look at her countenance. I was surprised that her expression was stone hard, and her eyes were just as cold as the rest of her features.

"Do you mind? We were _talking._" Hanna said just as coldly and stepped in front of Emily's view, presenting Maya with her back. I broke into a smile as Hanna winked at me and I watched as Emily cracked a smile too as she lightly shook her head at the blonde girl. I looked over Hanna's shoulder to see Maya foaming at the mouth, glaring at me and holding my gaze until she finally looked away and found Spencer's bone-chilling stare. She began cowering away but Spencer stepped forward and grabbed her wrist, pulling it up rather aggressively it seems, and Maya cringed and tried to mirror Spencer's blood-curdling stare as well.

"You stay away from her, you hear me? You stay _away_ from the both of them." Spencer spoke each word venomously before she pushed Maya's hand away and released her forcefully. Maya cradled her hand to her chest, looking at Emily with hurtful eyes, but Emily only stared back with the same hardened expression from earlier.

"_What happened to you?_ What happened to the girl I used to know? What happened to the sweet and loving Emily you once were?" Maya said accusingly, not even realizing that she was looking fear in the face. Yet even if she did, Maya probably wouldn't care. That was her character. She didn't care about anything. Not even Emily.

"Stop it." Aria said as she took a step forward to stand between Hanna and Spencer. "You left her. You don't get to point fingers and make her feel bad about treating you the way you deserve." Aria continued and I saw that we were beginning to attract a bit of attention.

"So scram, _bitch_. She's never _ever _getting back together with you again. _Ever_." Hanna said with more confidence than I could ever make appear.

"You heard them. I'd start retreating now if I were you." I smirked as the three girls turned and glanced at me shortly before returning their attention to Maya.

"_This isn't over_." Maya said bitterly, glancing briefly at Emily before she turned around and leave. I heard Emily exhaled a deep breath beside me right then, and I immediately took her into my arms and held her face into the crooked of my neck.

"It's okay now. She's gone." I said comfortingly as I rubbed her back. Emily and I moved to the side of the line while the girls stood in the lineup to order coffee for us all. I leaned down and placed kisses on top of her head now and then, and I could feel her starting to uncoil in my arms when I did it for several minutes. Emily then turned her head on my shoulder and I felt her kiss the side of my neck, and I smiled to myself when she did so.

"Feeling better?" I asked even though I already knew the answer.

"I'm sorry." Emily whispered into my ear and I let out a sigh as I held her closer against my body.

"Don't be." I said in response and leaned down to place a brief kiss on her temple.

"After _all_ these years, her presence still manages to unnerve me every time._ It's ridiculous_." I heard Emily let out a frustrated sigh into my neck as she spoke those words.

"You're only human, Emily." I said back before she lifted her head off my shoulder and now looked me right in the eyes.

"That's a sad excuse, even for me." Emily remarked as a faint smile painted on her lips.

"Well, I'm making it for you, so you should just take it and leave." I smiled back and Emily withdrew herself from me completely, backing away and I immediately saw what she was about to do. I caught her hands and pulled her back flush against me, and I leaned in to kiss her, tasting the smile on her lips. After several seconds, we finally pulled apart and I then saw the playful glint in her eyes.

"_What?_ You said to leave." Emily said teasingly as I shook my head at her.

"_Fine_, you can go now." I said nonchalantly as I released her and stepped away, gesturing for her to join her friends in line. Emily looked at me curiously and then surprisingly took a step towards me, smiling adorably as she did so.

"I don't want to leave." Emily said sweetly as she took another step closer. I watched her eyes glimmer with emotions I couldn't understand, and I then took the final step towards her.

"And why is that?" I asked as I took one of her hands and brought it up to my lips and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand before I lowered it back down.

"I don't want to leave without you." Emily smiled before she tugged me closer to her by my hand and kissed me sweetly. I couldn't help but grin when she pulled away. It was barely a second before I felt her beginning to pull me along with her so we can both walk towards the girls together.

_And I don't want to live without you._ I finally thought to myself as I stared at her from behind.

* * *

I had a surprise for Emily, and thank god the girls had agreed to keep her company as I got things set up. While she decided to walk the girls out and say goodbye, I had made an excuse of having to clean up the pool, and they all gave me a hug before they left with Emily to go to the front of the house. It was still about another hour before the sun would go down, and it was the perfect backdrop for what I was about to do, but I had to be quick.

I took off the towel that had been wrapped around my body, and tossed it onto one of the chairs before I ran over to the home pool bar and reached under to grab the two big plastic bags I had hidden earlier when the girls were changing into their swimsuits. I quickly opened the bags and then began tossing and spreading the fresh red rose petals into the pool, and after it had filled almost three quarters of the pool, floating beautifully around with almost even space in-between them, I made a quick dash back into house to grab the tea candles, glass candle jars, and a lighter. I lit up the candles as quickly as I can and set them each about a foot away from each other along the poolside. After that was done, I decided to light more candles and place them floating in the pool, and my goodness was that a brilliant idea. I tried to light as many as I can and when the pool suddenly lit up automatically on schedule before the evening came, I let out a sigh of relief at how enchanting and romantic the pool looked with rose petals and tea candles, surrounded by more candles in glass jars. The light blue glow from beneath the pool did beautifully enhance the scene as well. The sunlight casted a lovely hue of sunset orange around the yard, and all I could do was sigh at the wonderful picturesque setting. I cleaned up as best as I could and then grabbed my towel, and I walked through the house and then noticed that the front door was still open. When I stepped out, I saw that the girls were still trying to keep Emily busy with questions, and I could see all their shoulders slumped in relief when I came into view.

"I was wondering what took you so long." I said as I walked up and wrapped my arm around Emily's shoulders. The girls all teasingly gave me their own irritated looks, seeing that I took the words right out of their mouth.

"Alright you two, have fun now! Don't get too crazy!" Hanna yelled out of the window as Spencer pulled her car out of the parking lot. My stomach swam with butterflies as I watched them leave, realizing that I was finally alone with Emily.

"Okay, that was weird." Emily crossed her arms as she turned and look at me expectantly, as though she knew I was hiding something.

"What? You were taking so long and I had to come out and check." I said defensively and Emily smiled before she leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the lips.

"Thank you for coming out and check on me." Emily said lovingly as she took my hand and led us back into the house. Once the door had shut, I was quite taken off guard when I was suddenly pushed up against the wall, my towel dropping almost a second after as well. Emily's lips were now against my skin behind my ear, and I had to moan slightly at her aggressiveness. She slid a leg in between mine and then pressed into my center, while trailing hot wet kisses down my neck.

"Christ, Em." I gasped as she added more pressure to my center and aggressively attacked my neck. "Okay, okay, slow down there. Oh god… Okay, down girl!" I said as she reached up and cupped my breasts through my bikini top. I held onto Emily's shoulders and pushed her away, holding her at arm's length as I looked into her confused eyes.

"Paige, I want you." Emily said determinedly as she tilted her head and tried to move in again, but I kept still with my firm hold on her shoulders.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked while the look on her face told me she was reassessing my behavior. "Do you _not _want me?" she urged me on as she stared longingly into my eyes.

"_I do._ I really, _really_ do." I said as I loosen my hold on her shoulders. I leaned in and captured her lips, kissing her with just as much fervor as she had with my skin earlier. I then pulled back slightly and begin to whisper against her lips, "But let's take this back to the pool." Emily nodded quickly without question and we went back to kissing, her hands roaming all over the upper parts of my body as we bumped into walls and tripped every now and then to get to the back of the house. I smiled as I licked her lip over, anticipating her reaction as soon as she saw her surprise. When we had gotten past the backdoor and into the backyard, Emily was still very lost in our kiss as I tried to slow it down. She wasn't having any of it and kept on pressing firm wet kisses against my lips, pushing me towards the chairs by the pool, and not even noticing the candles and rose petals in the pool. I smiled even more at her obliviousness and brought my hands up to her shoulders again, pulling her away from me, and Emily was stuck in the same confused expression as earlier while breathing unevenly.

"Paige, what are you – " Emily stopped midsentence when she saw lights flickering nearby. Her eyes briefly looked away from mine and I saw them widened sizably before she turned to stare at me in disbelief.

"_Paige_." Emily breathed as she looked back to the pool and began to walk towards it.

"You did this?" Emily whispered in disbelief as she lifted both hands up to cover her mouth and then turned back to look at me again. I smiled brightly at her and began walking over, getting behind her as I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her in closer to me.

"Do you like it?" I asked as I rested my chin on her shoulder.

"Are you kidding me? _I love it_." Emily sighed dreamily as she sank back into my arms.

"Good." I smiled as I watched the sun setting in the backdrop right before us.

"You're so good to me." Emily said almost too quietly.

"Well, that's because I love you." I said immediately and found myself giggling as I pulled her tighter against me. Emily suddenly turned in my arms and she wrapped her arms around my neck, and I pulled her close again as she stared at me with the most dazed look I've ever seen in her eyes.

"You're not trying to make me fall in love with you and then break my heart, are you?" Emily asked teasingly and I leaned in to brush my nose affectionately against hers as I kissed the smile on her lips. Pulling back, I put on a thoughtful expression and then finally shake my head.

"No, I'm just trying to be charming." I winked at her as she started giggling at me.

"You're more than that." Emily said as she leaned in and pressed her lips gently against mine. "_You're perfect_." she whispered against my lips before I leaned in and pressed my lips firmly against hers. Our lips moved together and I felt her arms around my neck pulling me in closer as her tongue entered my mouth and explored it with practice. I lowered my hands from her bare lower back down to her arse and pulled her in, pushing our centers together as she kissed me skillfully. Emily momentarily stopped kissing me when I grounded my thigh harder into her center, pulling away as she let out a breathy moan and threw her head back in tow. I leaned down and pressed my lips to her neck, trailing wet kisses down to her pulse point before I repeatedly sucked on it and then soothed it over with my tongue. Emily moaned and breathed heavily in my arms, grinding down onto my thigh as I continued our slow rhythmic movement. I moved my kisses to her ear and then breathed out the one question, "_Want to move this to the pool?_" Emily quickly nodded and just as she was about to release me, I bent down and wrapped my arms around her thighs and picked her up, and her legs instantly wrapped around my hips as I held onto her. I walked us over to the pool steps as we continued to kiss, and once we were in the pool, I didn't let go of Emily as I pressed her against one of the concrete walls. Emily groaned and I pulled back, checking to see if I had hurt her, but I only saw her covered in rose petals here and there and the candlelight flickering across her wet skin. I then looked up, only to see her staring right back into my eyes with passion and desire.

"Make love to me." Emily spoke as she looked deeply into my eyes.

_Well, that was the plan._

* * *

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **


	38. Chapter 38

**A/N: So when I was planning to write this chapter, I had imagined snapshots of events that would eventually lead to one particular moment, which by the way is the last scene of this chapter. I hope I'd written this chapter well to express that idea, because I kept it in mind while writing. It may or may not seem a little bit fuzzy to you when you read it the first time through, but I think if you pay closer attention to the details, you'll see how I **_**tried**_** to weave it all together and hopefully you'll enjoy it. Or if you're just skimming through to simply read a story, well, I hope you're able to enjoy this lengthy chapter as well. Not one of my best works I think, but it'll do for now. I like it as it is and I don't know. *****shrugs* I can only hope that you do as well. Tell me what you think or what you believe is going on in Paige's mind. I'd really like to know what kind of reaction I get out of you guys when you read this chapter. So there you go, enjoy! :)**

* * *

**Emily's POV**

"Hey Em, what's wrong?" Spencer's voice suddenly snapped me out of my daze, and I looked over to find her eyes filled with worry and concern.

"Oh, it's nothing." I said while waving my hand to clear the air about it.

"Is this about Maya again? _I swear_, if she stepped anywhere near you – "

"I'm _fine_, Spencer. Just zoned out a bit, that's all." I tried to convince her but she and the girls were still looking at me quite skeptically.

We were having another early morning at The Brew, and Paige was so adamant about staying in bed when I tried to wake her up, so I had left her at home in my warm bed. If I were to be honest, I'd only given into her wishes because of the romantic evening she made happened for us last night. It was unimaginably _perfect,_ and I really couldn't seem to take my mind off of the memories we had made the night before. _God, I wish I were still in bed with her right now_.

"Honestly, I don't even understand why she bothers. Can't she see how happy Emily is with Paige? It's literally written all over her face." Aria sighed as she took another sip from her coffee.

"I heard that lesbians needs to be broken up with more than once, and Emily and Maya…they've never_ actually_ broken up, you know?" Spencer added as the other girls nodded in agreement.

"Wait, how do you know this?" Aria asked as she put her cup of coffee down and looked curiously at Spencer. I did the same as well when we briefly caught each other's eyes.

"Ar, she knows _everything_." Hanna rolled her eyes as she texted Caleb. Aria and I slowly nodded and looked at each other before we both shrugged.

"But she left _me_. Why would I need to re-break up with _her_?" I questioned.

"I heard lesbians were territorial too." Spencer added nonchalantly as she sipped her coffee. We all looked at her and then stared at one another before we burst out laughing.

"_What?_ They _are_. Do you _not_ remember when you got referred to as a '_peroxide piece of trash_' when you were spying on Paige at that gay bar back in high school?" Spencer spoke to Hanna, whose face immediately contorted into that of disgust.

"_Ugh,_ don't get me started. Okay. Fine. You're right, Spence. Lesbians are, like_, totally_ animals." Hanna nodded before she met my irritated look. "I mean, not you and Paige obviously, but you know, _other_ lesbians." Hanna attempted to correct herself. I crossed my arms and stared at her expectantly, clearly waiting for an apology. "Okay! I'm sorry! Lesbians are '_territorial_.'" Hanna finally re-corrected herself with air quotes around the word 'territorial'. Spencer and Aria laughed at the both of us before I broke into a smile and leaned back into my seat.

"Can we _not _make this about lesbians? Clearly, it's not about being a lesbian. If it were, my head would be in-between her legs right now." I said nonchalantly as I watch the shock expression on each of the girls' faces.

"Emily! You dog!" Hanna was the first to cry out as she bent over and slapped my arm.

"Okay, you seriously should _not_ give Hanna any ideas." Spencer spoke as she shook her head.

"_Yeah_… Oh God, I can't get the damn picture out of my mind." Aria said as she blushed and covered her face with both her hands. I chuckled as I watched all of my friends get worked up over a silly thing I said.

"I'm kidding, guys. The point is…it's not about her being a lesbian, and I don't think she's going to try anything. As brave of a front that she can put up, Maya's actually pretty…cowardice if you asked me." I shrugged and went back to my coffee as the girls rethink my words.

"Are you sure? She totally stalked us yesterday." Hanna point out.

"Han, how can she stalk us if we bumped into her _here_ twice?" I mention the detail she apparently missed.

"Exactly! She's probably camping out right across the street or something and watching us." Hanna said as she made it a point to look out the window and search for Maya.

"Doubt it." I said while I lifted up my cup of coffee.

"Yeah… I wouldn't if I were you." Aria said as she nodded towards the entrance to The Brew.

"Three times a charm." Spencer added bitterly before she set her coffee down onto the table and watched Maya like a hawk as she went to the coffee counter and ordered something.

"Shit. _See?_ What did I tell you, Em? Bitch is camping right outside this coffee shop just at the moment as we speak." Hanna said while I heard her chair scooting closer to Spence. I turned around in my seat and decided to ignore her, and watched as Hanna and Spencer watch Maya with wariness before I turned to my left to see Aria looking at me and then shrugging.

"For some reason, I'm not as bothered by seeing her around any more." I said to Aria as she slightly perked up at my words.

"Really? Does this have to do with something with Paige last night?" Aria wiggled her eyebrows funnily.

"You were in on it?" I asked.

"Well, no, not really. She just told us to keep you busy while she got some things set up. So? _Tell me already_." Aria said excitedly as she placed both hands on my forearm and shakes it. I rolled my eyes at her and smiled at her childish antics before I decided to tell her.

"Let's just say we spent the rest of the evening by the pool, watching the sunset while red rose petals and tea lights floated around us." I smiled as Aria gasped and brought both hands up to cover her mouth.

"That's so romantic!" Aria gushed as I shook my head and smiled brightly her way.

"It was _perfect_." I then pursed my lips to hide how highly charged just thinking about it at the moment.

"What's perfect?" Hanna interrupted us as we turned to look at her.

"Oh, you know, just the usual getting wet with Paige in the pool surrounded by red rose petals _and _tea-candles while watching the sunset perfect." Aria said coolly as she shrugged her shoulders for the needed effect.

"_What!_ No way!" Hanna cried out as she bounced excitedly in her seat.

"Han, calm down. People are looking at us." Spencer scolded her as she reached over and pushed Hanna back down into her seat, and then Hanna put her fingers between her lips and started biting onto them.

"Are you okay?" I chuckled as Hanna nodded quickly and stared at me with excitement.

"I think I…over-excited her with those details." Aria said confusedly as she slowly picked up her cup of coffee. Hanna nodded quickly again and gestured for me to go on.

"I think you're right." I agreed as I watched Hanna trying to contain her eagerness to know more. Hanna then nodded quickly again and Spencer rolled her eyes as she put her coffee down.

"I said to calm down, not stop talking Hanna." Spencer chuckled and the rest of us joined in.

"Oh. My. God. Tell me _everything_!" Hanna exclaimed excitedly as I smiled at her.

"Me. Paige. Pool. Rose petals. Candlelight. Sunset. Sex…" I said and looked away.

"All night?" Hanna asked unashamedly as I turned and shook my head at her.

"Hanna!" both Spencer and Aria jumped in and yelled at her.

"What? I just wanted to – "

"_Hi Emily_." I heard a voice behind me. I knew whom it belonged to and I didn't want to turn around. I saw Hanna and Spencer's eyes turned into slits, which furthermore confirmed my guess. I breathed out a slow steady breath, and finally willed myself to stand up and turn around after a few seconds, noticing the scratching of chairs moving too, indicating that the girls were following my lead.

"What do you want from me?" I asked sternly as I looked her in the eyes. The kindness in her brown eyes disappeared immediately and they hardened as she stared at me now.

"What do _I _want from _you_? I'm just trying to get to know you again, Emily. Why won't you give me the chance to?" Maya's face twisted into that of hurt.

"Why should I? _You_ left me." I said flatly as her eyes diverted for a second before coming back to mine.

"Look, I'm sorry. I was just a teenager and I didn't know any better or what I really wanted back then." Maya tried to explain.

"And what? That justifies your reason for leaving without a word? Did you know how many _weeks_ I spent driving around town looking for you? _God_, I had to find out from your lover from _True North_ that you had skipped town again when your parents won't even open their doors to me. _'Back to her usual habit',_ was what I recall them telling me over the phone before hanging up after they picked up just _one_ of the many times I've called. _What?_ You make it a habit to leave girlfriends behind? How does being a teenager justify your actions at all? Even a_ decent_ human being understands the concept of breaking up with someone before you leave them behind." I ranted and saw the shock expression on her face.

"Emily, I – " Maya started but I didn't want to let her finish.

"No, just save it for someone who cares." I cut in as I crossed my arms across my chest. "Look, I've forgiven you. Really, I have. I just don't think I could ever trust you again and honestly, I really don't want you in my life right now. You upset the balance in my life, and I don't like or appreciate that. And _I love Paige_." I finally said it. "She's been very supportive of me and has been comforting me, and I understand now why I love her more today than I did yesterday. Or how I'll love her more tomorrow than I do today. She makes me happy. Paige makes me feel loved and appreciated, and she's proved to me that she wouldn't run away from my side. I don't want or need anyone else."

"I'm sorry." Maya muttered again as she stared at me with sad eyes. I nodded to acknowledge her apology, and Maya began to step away from me. "I'm really, really sorry." she spoke one last time while looking me in the eyes before slowly turning away. I watched as she walked away and exited the coffee shop and disappeared out of sight.

"I hope that's the last we'll see of her." Spencer scoffed from behind me, and I turned around to see all the girls standing in front of their seats. I let out a heavy sigh and then sat down, at which the girls followed suit and did so too.

"So much drama." Hanna said as she shook her head back and forth while rubbing both her temples.

"Tell me about it." Aria added in before she lifted her coffee to her lips again.

"Jenga anyone?" Spencer said as she sat up straighter and reached over for the box underneath our glass table.

"Oh! Me first!" Hanna immediately raised her hands as she took the box away from Spencer, making her roll her eyes at the girl.

"It's _always_ you first." Aria muttered and I chuckled at the shorter girl.

_I wish you were here, Paige._

* * *

"Hey," I whispered into Paige's right ear as she lay on her stomach sleeping. I stood up straight from my bent over posture and put both hands on my hips, wondering how on Earth this girl could sleep through the entire morning. It was almost noon!

"Emily?" I suddenly heard Mom's voice from behind me. I turned around and saw her standing by the door in her grey pantsuit and hair up in a neat bun. I walked over to her and opened the door wider for her to come in, and she hesitantly walked in before she saw Paige lying in bed sleeping.

"Why is she still sleeping? I was hoping to take you girls out for lunch." Mom said before I laughed and pointed at the sleeping girl in my bed.

"Can you wake her up for me? She won't listen when I do it." I barely pouted before mom smiled at me and walked over to sit at the edge of the bed. I leaned against the doorframe and watched as she brushed a few of Paige's stray hair aside before petting her head fondly as though Paige was her own child.

"Paige honey, it's time to wake up." I heard Mom say before we both waited in silence for Paige's response. She only murmured some incoherent words before cuddling closer to my mom, and the both of us chuckled while she scooted towards the edge of the bed. Were it not for Mom, she'd have fallen off of the bed by now.

"Don't you make me go get a bucket of water, young lady." Mom said jokingly before Paige's eyes shot wide open and looked around frantically before relaxing when she found my eyes. I saw her tense shoulders slack and I laughed out loud when she finally realized it was not me who she was cuddling into. Paige slowly inched away from my mom and looked back and forth at us confusingly before getting off the bed and trying to run her fingers through her hair to sort out the mess there.

"Hi Mrs. Fields," Paige spoke shyly as she lowered her eyes to the floor while nervously kicking the carpet. "Um, sorry, I thought you were – "

"It's fine, dear. Now get ready and we'll grab some lunch together before I have to head back to the office in an hour. Okay?" Mom said as she got up and placed a kiss on my forehead on the way out. Paige crossed her arms against her chest and stared at me in displeasure.

"What? I tried and you didn't want to wake up!" I laughed as I walked over to make the bed. I heard Paige sigh and rummaged around for a change of clothes before she quickly left for the bathroom. I heard the shower go on and I shook my head and smile as I finally finished with the bed. Standing back, I looked around the room and saw that it was still neat and tidy, so I went over to my study desk to organize a few things instead. Once everything was in order, I finally went back over to the bed and plopped down to lay down on my back. Looking up at the ceiling, I listened to the shower running and closed my eyes as I got lost in the sound of water falling.

_Rainfall was another form of comforting music that I've come to known of. It was the sound of the rain that drew me in and kept me lost in its melodious tune. Time stopped but moments still passed. It was the perfect remedy after the long day that I had gone through. The silvery sounds immediately fell out of range and was pushed to the background of noises as sudden knocks against the front door echoed throughout the house. My head lifted up a little and my ears quirked to perceive the sound more clearly. _

_There goes the knocking again. Who could it be? _

_Walking down the stairs carefully and watching the shadows passing now and then into the dark room did not help to ease my curiosity and anxiety. When I finally had my hand on the doorknob and twisted it open, I had prepared myself for whoever it was behind the door. Yet when I had finally opened it, I really couldn't believe my eyes. _

_Paige. _

_She was entirely drenched from head to toes, probably from the rain, and she was holding herself as she looked down at the ground. Lightning appeared and disappeared in the backdrop, and I could only feel more confused with how dramatic the scene was before my eyes. Or rather, how sad she looked in the midst of the pouring rain as she stood on my front porch._

"_Paige? Are you okay?" I asked anyway even with my confusion. Paige slowly took her eyes off the floor and I was met with a pair of the same confused brown orbs. _

"_No." Paige said as she slightly shook her head, arms still loosely wrapped around herself. She looks scared. _

"_What happened?" I questioned but she just let out a heavy breath at that._

"_You have every reason to hate me." Paige said and it sounds like she's been crying. "I don't even know why I'm here." she gestured with her hands even with them crossed across her chest. _

"_I don't hate you." I stepped forward towards her while saying it to make myself clear. I looked her in the eye and tried to convey my honest feelings towards her, hoping she'd understand that I didn't bear that much of hard feelings against her. _

"_I would." Paige said as her eyes remained the same, filled with self-loathing emotion it seemed. "I do." she spoke her emotion out loud. _

"_Don't say that." I said with concern as I shook my head lightly, hoping she sees that I really disagreed with what she had just said. Paige's breaths quivered as she took in a deep breath, and I finally saw that she was crying as she spoke to me. I wanted to reach out and take her into my arms to comfort her, but I didn't know if I could. If I should. _

"_I'm sorry, Emily." Paige's voice trembled as she pursed her lips, almost like she was holding in from breaking down completely in front of me. She took another deep shaky breath and spoke again, "I just wanted you to know that." Paige began to back away from me after she said that and walked down the front porch steps, and I felt I had to call out to her. _

"_Wait, Paige – " I barely got to say as she ran towards her bike, picked it up, and then pedaled away in the pouring rain. The thunders roared and lightning barely lit up her silhouette in the far distance, but I could still see her in the mad rain. _

_I stood there at the door, standing in the midst of the pouring rain on my front porch alone wondering why. _

_Why what? She had come here and apologized to me. Paige McCullers hadn't asked for forgiveness for herself but for her behavior. Anyone could see that she was eaten by the words she had said earlier to me. She had looked entirely apologetic and was really sincere about it. _

_A feeling started and stopped inside of me, but I couldn't understand it. _

_It felt so weird., and I had felt it in my bones. What was it trying to tell me?_

"Emily!" Paige's voice woke me up and I opened my eyes immediately. I was instantly greeted with the sight of Paige in denim shorts and a magenta and blue plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up almost to her elbows. I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes to wake up a bit more, and I heard Paige chuckle from somewhere near.

"Come on, your mom's waiting downstairs." Paige said as I felt her take my hand and help me off the bed.

"But I haven't changed yet." I whined as I looked down at my outfit from earlier this morning.

"You look fine. Let's go!" Paige insisted as she pulled me along. We walked down the stairs a bit faster than usual and my mother was standing near the door to hold it open for the both of us.

"Wow, that took exactly ten minutes." mom said after looking up from her watch. _She must've timed it._

"Sorry, I tried to shower as fast as I can." Paige apologized as she ran a hand across the back of her neck and smiled awkwardly.

"That's completely fine, dear. So how about we meet up at The Grille?" she asked. _Great, that means I'm driving_.

"Sure, mom." I said as I was the one to pull Paige along to my car now. We both got into my car and I started the engine while putting on my seatbelt, and I looked over to see Paige smiling at me.

"What?" I said as I changed the gear to begin driving towards The Grille.

"_Nothing_." Paige simply smiled as she looked forward at the road ahead of us.

"No, tell me." I pouted as I reached over to take her hand. I felt her entwined our fingers together and I slowly stepped on the break as we reached a stop sign.

"You were talking in your sleep." Paige smiled again as I looked her way.

"What did I say?" I asked as I begin to continue forward to the restaurant. We were very close since it was only about five minutes away from the house.

"You called out my name." Paige chuckled awkwardly and by the sound of it, I think she meant it in a sexual way.

"What exactly did I say?" I questioned as I parked the car and we both got out. I locked the car and made my way over to her before we walked hand in hand to the restaurant across the street.

"Well…you said, '_Wait, Paige_ – ' I think I can go ahead and assume that it was a rendezvous gone bad?" Paige chuckled again.

"_Oh_." I realized why she thought it was funny. "No, _no_, it wasn't like that at all." I waved my hand in the air to gesture that it wasn't. "I just started…remembering that day when you came by with your bike in the pouring rain, that's all. Then I somehow must've fallen asleep and dreamt about it." I explained to her as she looked at me curiously.

"Well, thank god I woke you up then." Paige laughed as she brought my hand up to her lips and placed a sweet kiss on the inside of my palm.

"_No_…I wish I'd slept longer." I found myself saying, and I was just as surprised by the words as Paige was. "I was trying to figure out the feeling I had felt back then after you left. I couldn't understand it. I don't know. It was just…I felt…_something_." I tried to explain but obviously I wasn't making any sense.

We had arrived at the entrance of The Grille and walked in together when we saw my mom sitting at a table and was already waiting for us. She waved us over and we both sat across from her before we took a look at the menu. Well, Paige took a look at the menu while mom and I already knew what we had wanted. After one of the waitrons came by and took our orders and left, mom had excused herself to go use the restroom.

"So, what was it that you were telling me?" Paige returned to our previous conversation. I just simply shrugged and looked around before I saw that the place was getting pretty crowded for the lunch hour rush.

"Well, was it a _bad_ feeling? Or was it a _good_ feeling?" Paige's teasing tone made me look at her suspiciously before I decided to answer.

"Honestly, I think it was a bit in-between. I… Well, I knew that I cared for you. I don't know why I did after you said all those mean things to me, _but I did_. And when you apologized while standing there looking like a wet dog, I don't know, I guess…I…liked you better?" I made it sound more as a question than a statement. Paige tilted her head to the side and smiled at me before she took my hand into her lap and kept it there.

"I like how you mentioned me 'looking like a wet dog' of all details that you can remember from your dream." Paige teased me as I rolled my eyes at her.

"You were quite wet, baby. From head to toes. Oh, and half of your bangs were clinging to your forehead." I smirked as I saw her grin falling.

"Right. Back when I had that haircut." Paige brought a hand up to cover her face and shook her head. I laughed as she grumbled about me bringing that up, and mom finally got back and sat down right across from us.

"So, what are you girls talking about?" she smiled as Paige untangled her hand from mine and brought it up to her face to use it for covering as well. I patted her thigh lightly and rubbed it comfortingly before I saw her look up from her hands, thinking she finally escaped from the conversation that was about to ensue. _Not so fast, girlfriend_.

"Oh, just Paige and her short auburn haircut from junior year. You remember that don't you, Mom?" I passed it off coolly as Mom started to chuckle from her seat. I felt Paige's glare at the side of my head and I took advantage as I began to trace circles on her bare thigh since she was wearing shorts today. I heard Paige's small sigh beside me and knew right away that I'd gotten off the hook.

"You're lucky you're an amazing swimmer, or else I'd…" Paige trailed off as my mom and I looked at her in amusement.

"You do remember that my mom works at the Rosewood Police Department, right?" I said jokingly as Mom laughed at the both of us.

"Yes, but I'm like her second daughter now, so..." Paige went on as she crossed her arms and stared at me expectantly.

"Is that so?" I asked as I mimicked Paige's posture and faced her. Paige's expression immediately softens after less than a minute and I smiled triumphantly when she leaned in to briefly kiss me before I heard someone cleared their throat nearby.

"Hi, I have two beets salads…_and_ a Tuscan chicken sandwich." our waitron said as he placed them down on the table for each of us before he stepped back. "Is there anything else that you need?" the man asked politely and we all said no and thanked him. The waitron left our table and we were immediately absorbed into another conversation about what we had been doing at college and how swimming went along this school year.

Every time Paige spoke to my mom, her eyes would light up as she got to the exciting parts of the events she was telling Mom. Paige's eyes smiled as she spoke about the things she was passionate about, and she listened and looked my mother in the eyes whenever Mom would talk about her current scrapbook in the works. It was such an endearing moment to witness, and I felt my eyes watered a bit as I thought about how long and hard they both worked to get here. Then out of nowhere, I felt that sudden strange feeling at the pit of my stomach again. It wasn't anywhere near the feeling I had felt in the dream, but still, it was close enough.

_What was it?_

I felt the _feeling_ wanting to escape, and I held onto it as tight as I could. Why was it playing hide and seek with me now? It boggled my mind to even think of the feeling doing such a thing, but it _was_. I could sense it. I feel it tingling inside me again, and I looked back up at Paige to see if she had felt it too. She was still very much engrossed in the conversation with my mom, and my eyes suddenly travelled to the small hidden scar right above her left eyebrow.

And then it hit me.

I somehow knew I would love her right before I had even fallen in love with her.

Well, I didn't…

_But my heart did._

* * *

"Wow," Paige let out a breath as we all lay out by the tree in Spencer's backyard, watching the shirtless young man mow the Hastings' lawn.

"_Wow_ is an understatement, McCullers." Spencer said as she lowered down the book from her face and tilted her head to the side and gaze at the sweaty guy working the mowing machine.

"Oh yeah, you should've seen the other guys back in high school, Paige." I added as she now completely turned her head in my lap to stare up at me curiously.

"Where did your parents find this one, Spence?" Hanna said as she wet her lips and checked out the eye-candy shamelessly.

"Don't know. _Don't care_." Spencer shrugged as she put the book down and leaned back on her hands to stare at him curiously with her full attention now.

"How young is he?" Aria asked and Paige turned slightly to watch Aria staring as well.

"He looks seventeen." I guessed as I look at his young adolescent face.

"His body says otherwise." Aria muttered, and Paige and I chuckled as we both caught each other's eyes after she said that.

"Did you guys make it a hobby to watch boys mow Spencer's lawn back in high school?" Paige suddenly asked as she went back to staring at the good-looking, hard-bodied boy.

"Oh yeah, it was quite fun." Aria answered as she mimicked all of our posture, except for Paige who was lying down on the picnic blanket with her head in my lap, and Aria leaned back onto her hands while sitting.

"You didn't find this…_fun_, did you Em?" Paige asked hesitantly as she looked up at me. I rolled my eyes and stare down at her smiling before I leaned down to kiss her lips. I sat back up, still locking eyes with her as I gave her my most playful look.

"What do you think?" I asked teasingly as her eyes furrowed.

"I mean, I guess that it's okay." Paige sighed before I started giggling. "Well, I dated Sean, so…we all went through that, right? Thinking we like boys and all. Or at least trying to convince ourselves that we like boys when we knew somewhere deep within that we don't?" Paige rolled her eyes at me when I just simply smiled down at her in response.

"Not _all _of us went through that." Aria added before she laughed.

"Yeah, speak for yourself, Paige." Hanna smirked and I saw Paige roll her eyes again.

"I fell for a girl once before." Spencer's voice surprised the rest of us as we all turned our glances towards her. "Or at least I thought I did." she shrugged. Paige and I caught each other's eyes, and I could guess that she now knew that I know. She smiled apologetically at me, and I just shook my head slightly and leaned down to kiss her on the tip of her nose to assure her that everything was okay between all of us.

"_What! When? Where? How? _Oh my god,_ who!" _Hanna let out a stream of words almost all at once. Paige and I chuckled as Aria and Hanna both looked at us in question, wondering if we had already known before they did.

"Don't ask, I won't tell." Spencer lifted a finger to warn the both of them, and Paige and I could only smile at her way of keeping things under wraps. "I just… It was overwhelming. It's no different than liking guys to be honest. It's just the gender is different. There are things about boys that I like that I also find attractive in girls." Spencer said as we all tried to listen to her over the roaring sound of the lawn mower from not too far away.

"Wait, so you're into girls now?" Hanna asked almost immediately, and Spencer let out a chuckle.

"Well, I don't know that. I just…got tired of trying to label myself I guess. Although I'm _pretty_ sure it only happened because of the person she was that made me develop feelings for her." Spencer explained as I saw her eyes quickly flicker over to Paige before going back to meet Hanna's.

"Wow." Aria said with a surprised face, but otherwise she didn't seem to be as thrown off as Hanna was.

"Yeah, maybe I'll never fall for another girl again, but I won't rule out that possibility." Spencer shrugged as she moved around a bit to get comfortable while leaning back on her hands. "Plus, Charley and I… Well, I like him a lot." Spencer's voice suddenly softens at the mention of his name.

"And you two already knew about this, didn't you?" Aria said while glancing at us, and we both nodded before we heard Hanna whine out loud.

"Spence, that's not fair! Why didn't I get the deets on this too?" Hanna pouted as she pulled up a handful of grass and threw it at Spencer.

"Hanna!" Spencer scowled as she brushed the greens off of her.

"You totally deserved that." Hanna said nonchalantly before she turned her head back in the direction of the lawn-mowing guy. Spencer rolled her eyes at Hanna and looked over at me smiling weakly before I returned a brighter smile her way. I looked down to see that Paige was now smiling at me as well, and I lifted up one of my hands to her face and brushed her hair aside.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" I barely heard Paige say over the lawn mower before I leaned down and kissed her lips.

"Oh my God, he's totally staring at Em and Paige right now." Hanna pointed out excitedly before I sat up and we both looked up to find him staring at the both of us with his mouth agape. I lifted up a hand and waved at him, and it took him several seconds before he raised a hand and waved back a little awkwardly.

"Emily, let the guy do his job and mow my lawn." Spencer jokingly admonished me before she chuckled.

"I wouldn't mind him mowing _my _lawn." Hanna smirked as we all looked at her with a weird expression. "What?" she said before her eyes caught on with our thoughts. "Ew, no, not in _that_ way! I meant – "

"Sure, Hanna." Spencer cut in with the snide comment. We all laughed as Hanna grumbled and said something along the lines of Spencer being mean before we all perked up at the sound of the lawn mower being turned off.

"Oh, look! He's coming over!" Hanna said excitedly as we watched the boy, covered in sweat and a little bit of grass here and there, makes his way over to us. He was probably aware that he had a really nice upper body since he strode over with more confidence than I had seen earlier, and I broke out into a smile as I felt Paige lightly jabbed me in the stomach with her fingers.

"Eyes on me, Fields." I heard her say before I looked down to find a mischievous expression over her features.

"_What?_" I asked innocently as she began to sit up and we faced each other, trying to stare the other one down.

"I hope in the back of your mind there's only me. Emily better _not_ be playing the fields." Paige teased and chuckled before turning to stare at our arriving guest.

"Hi," the boy said coolly as his eyes skittered over all of us before catching mine.

"What's up, hot stuff?" I heard Hanna say and he looked at her in surprise. We all tried not to laugh as we watched them, and Hanna had this look in her eyes that just simply spelled trouble.

"I noticed…you were all watching me…mow the lawn. Thought I'd come over and say hi or something." the boy said courageously as we all turned to look at each other in amusement.

"How old are you?" Hanna asked a second question, completely disregarding his comment.

"Seventeen." he said proudly.

"Awe, he's a puppy!" Aria gushed as the rest of us laugh, and the young fellow reached a hand behind the back of his neck in embarrassments.

"Cute." Spence said as her eyes ran up and down his body appreciatively. Paige and I looked at each other at the same moment and we tried to keep straight faces as the three girls teased the hell out of him.

"Thanks." he said as he rubbed his neck again.

"I meant the puppy comment, not you, _kid_." Spencer's flat tone totally threw him off as his eyes widened in surprise.

"I'm sorry, I thought – "

"Well, you thought _wrong_." Spencer's sharp tone silenced him. We all looked back and forth between the both of them before the boy apologized, saying he had to get back to work before cowering away.

"Awe, Spence!" Aria said as she looked after the retreating form of the teenager.

"Aria, he's a child." Spencer said before she grabbed her book and turned to the page she had marked earlier.

"But he's like…a _man_ child." Hanna remarked as she returned her gaze to the boy.

"Wow." Paige uttered before the both of us chuckled at the three girls' interaction.

"Yup." I said before I leaned my head onto Paige's shoulder and felt her wrap her arm around me.

"And here I thought she was done with scaring away high school boys by now." Paige commented.

"Oh, _never_." Spencer joined in before the rest of us laughed.

Paige and I spent the rest of daylight with the girls, and by dinnertime we had returned back to my home to have dinner with my mom.

It made me feel happy inside knowing that the best days were yet to come.

I _love _summertime happiness.

* * *

"You know, I've never seen anyone have a glass of rosé with a Popsicle dipped in it to keep the wine cool." Spencer remarked as we all sat around the table staring at Paige's glass of wine. A rectangular-looking red Popsicle stick, supposedly cherry fruit flavor, was bathing in the light pink wine, and one could see that the red color was slowly dispersing into the liquid, turning the wine a bit pinker than it was barely two minutes ago. It was very interesting looking, and we all stared at Paige as she lifted the Popsicle out for a bit while she took a sip of the wine and then put it back in.

It was midday, and we were all lounging around at the country club's restaurant, just simply sitting out on the patio with the view overlooking the tennis courts. People were lobbying the tennis balls back and forth as they made friendly conversations, and all around us were some of the more affluent residents having lunch as well. Spencer used to take us here with her back in high school, and we'd do the same thing as we do now minus the alcohol, lounging around and fitting in with the rest of the people around us. I never knew Paige's family were members of this country club as well until now because she hadn't taken me here while we were dating back then. It made sense. Paige wasn't the type to flaunt her family's assets. Well, I'm not saying that Spencer's did either, but Paige was really good at drawing a curtain and veiled those kinds of things better than Spence did. I was quite surprised when I'd actually gone to Paige's house the first time, not even half-aware that her family was that wealthy before that.

"Want a taste?" Paige said as she slid the wineglass on the table towards me. I shook my head and went back to watching the people playing tennis on the lower grounds instead, wondering what their lives were like and how different they were from the common citizens of Rosewood. Helping the private non-profit organization that assisted the lower class citizens often did that to me, causing me to think about the welfare of others when I saw the wealthy enjoyed such a luxurious life. I heard the girls chatting faintly in the background about the wine and having taste it when Paige offered it to them, but the noise only buzzed in my ears as I felt myself being lifted out of my body and into a calm state of being half-conscious of my surroundings while my thoughts wander.

There was something really special about coming home after being gone for so long. The familiarity of everything does more than help one settle back into an old setting. Going back to places we used to frequent or just simply passing by our old high school, they really do bring back old memories. _Swimming in Paige's pool again…_ I smiled to myself as I let my thoughts wander back to a few days before when we had a romantic night by her pool. It was an uncanny resemblance to that night back in high school when I had come over and spoken to her. I remember it well, for it marked the first time we had ever made love, and what happened afterwards had really stuck with me for a long time.

_I trailed after Paige as she led me by the hand to her bathroom for the both of us to clean up. Once we had climbed the stairs and reached the top of the steps, Paige made a left turn and pull me by the hand into her room and we walked the short distance to the built-in bathroom. My eyes wander over the space once Paige flicked the lights on, taking in the grey color of the area and seeing a stand-up shower taking up the entire quarter in the back of the room. I could only see half of the shower behind the glass door since the other half of it was somewhere behind a concrete wall, and attached to that wall was the white bathroom countertop that ran a long way until the large shelf that stood by the door with toiletries and towels. _

"_Wow. This is…nice." I found myself saying as my eyes wander back over to her. Paige was staring me with a loving smile, and I slowly leaned in and captured her lips between mine before I pulled her further into the room and closed the bathroom door shut. Paige breathed a small moan against my lips while I ran my hand up her towel-clad body and then I untied the knot at the top as my hand undid my own. Both our towels fell to the floor in one smooth motion, and I pulled back to take an appreciative look at her naked form. Paige blushed beneath my gaze and I could only smile as my eyes wander over several bare body parts about her that I liked. I heard her let out a shaky breath and my eyes found hers as I saw the various emotions swimming behind them. _

"_Can we just…shower?" Paige asked the simple question. I smiled and lifted both hands up to hold her face in-between my eyes, leaning in and kissing her briefly. _

"_Of course." I found myself saying. _

_We walk to the stand-up shower and Paige opened the glass door for the both of us to step in, and I looked over to the space that had been covered with a wall only to discover that it was a double-head shower. The area was very spacious and the three walls that surrounded the place had another showerhead attached to the top of the wall as well. I immediately pull Paige towards that hidden area instead, and she smiled when she saw that I preferred the space covered with three grey concrete walls to the other side of the shower. Paige turned on the water and slowly the shower began to heat up, steams floating in the air around us while we both took turns washing ourselves. When we were both done, I pulled her closer to me and stared into her eyes, seeing if she was really okay with what we had done tonight. Paige seemed to look right through me, her eyes filled with love and adoration, and she brought up a hand to push a strand of wet hair behind my ear. The water fell around us and I somehow felt the slow and steady beat of my heart beneath my chest. Water trickled over my eyes and washed over my face, the smell of Paige still fresh in the air as the steam hovered above us. Her skin was just as wet as mine, and the drops of water fell from her shoulders trailing paths down her arms and escaping at the tips of her fingers. I leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, and I rested the side of my face on her shoulder as I reached behind to press my hands against her shoulder blades and pull her into me. She rested her chin on my shoulder and I felt Paige reached up one hand to rest it against the wall behind me, and one of her arms encircled my waist while we stayed together that way. The only sounds that filled my ear were the ones of water pouring over us as we stood under the showerhead, and I could feel the sound of water drops pattered onto the ground beneath us. I don't know how long we stood there like that, but I've never felt anything more intimate than this. _

_We were together. We were finally together in this way._

"_Paige, are you okay?" I finally broke through the comfortable silence between us, _

"_Yes." Paige answered before she placed a kiss on my shoulder. I closed my eyes as I felt her arm tightened around me, and the water continued to fall down on the both of us, soaking Paige and me in the most beautiful way. _

"_I love you, Emily." she spoke softly and in that moment, I simply knew._

_She was the one._

"Emily?" Paige's voice brought me back to the country club's patio. I turned to look at her and felt the warmest feeling rush through me. _I could still feel her arm around me_. I smiled as I reached over and squeezed her hand, reassuring her that I was okay as soon as I saw the worry in her eyes. Paige smiled slightly and went back to talking with the girls, and I could only sit there and stare at her, reveling in the feelings I had felt for her in the past and today. There wasn't a moment where I couldn't recall that I didn't love her. I tugged gently on her hand and Paige turned away from the conversation she was having with the girls, and they all stopped to look at me then.

"_I love you_." I found myself saying as I looked right into her eyes.

"I love you too, Emily." Paige smiled as she leaned in and briefly kissed my lips.

"Okay you two, go get a room." Hanna joked as I turned and saw her about to pop two pieces of French fries into her mouth, but Aria was much quicker as she reached over and snatched the fries out of her hand and immediately bit into them.

"Hey!" Hanna scowled at Aria as the shorter girl laughed while chewing and got a high-five from Spencer.

"Here, you can have mine." Paige said as she pushed her plate towards the blonde. Hanna smiled flirtatiously at Paige and then just as she reached down to grab the oven-baked zucchini chips, Spencer moved the plate away from her.

"_What is your problem?_" Hanna said angrily as she gestured with her hands, almost as if she was trying to squish someone's head in-between them.

"You're the one that told us to stop you from eating." Aria pointed out as she pushed the plate even further away from Hanna and back to Paige again.

"Ugh! I hate dieting!" Hanna fussed as she crossed her arms and glared at Paige's fried zucchinis.

"You could always try exercising." Paige added in before the girls and I all shook our heads.

"Hanna barely lifts a finger to carry her shopping bags. What makes you think she'll try _exercising_?" Spencer rolled her eyes as she lifted the glass of white wine to her lips.

"Hm, I hadn't thought of that." Paige mused as she put on her cute thinking expression.

"We _all_ have." I chuckled as Paige jokingly glared at me.

"Oh, that's _real_ clever, Captain Obvious." Paige teased me as the girls laughed at our playful banter.

We spent the rest of lunch chatting happily and sharing stories of when we were kids with Paige. She smiled when we got talking about me, and I found her smile widening more and more as they brought up all my water baby stories. It was then that I realized how close she was to my friends now. The girls and their families were pretty much my second family, and it felt really good to know that they like the girl that I'm so in love with. It was wonderful, really.

_She's family now. _I found myself smiling at the thought as I watched her listening intently to the stories being told.

_God, I love her._

* * *

"Paige?" my voice pierced through the silence of the night as we sat on the porch swing at the front of her house. The night was quiet and the stars were out, filling every square inch of the sky with brilliant glittering light.

"Hm?" Paige barely said in response as she squeezed my shoulder and pulled me closer to her. I cuddled in intimately against her side, burying my face closer to her neck as I let out a small sigh. The summer air was chilly at night but it was barely cool enough to keep us both warm outside.

"Do you think we'll get married someday?" I finally decided to ask her after thinking about it the entire past hour. I felt Paige shifted a little in her spot, and I felt the nerves getting to me immediately when I didn't hear a response from her after a minute. I sat up straight and pulled away slowly, looking up to find her eyes staring into mine in the night.

"You know what? Forget I said that." I shook my head slightly as I felt my voice wavering a little.

"Wait." Paige put her a hand to rest against my cheek, and I instantly closed my eyes at the warmth it brought me. I let out a slow steady breath, calming myself down from possibly hyperventilating if I over-thought it any more.

"Emily." Paige then whispered into the space between us, and I felt her breath brushing lightly against my lips. "I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone but you. I just… We already have that, don't we?" I opened my eyes then and looked at her in confusion, not quite understanding her words. Paige smiled when she met my confused look and she leaned in to press a light kiss against the corner of my lips, and then pulled back to look me in the eyes while turning her body slightly to face me. Paige reached for both my hands and caressed them lovingly in hers as we stared into each other's eyes then.

"I feel like…we've already started a life together. I mean, getting married is a whole other level of commitment, but do you think we can postpone this conversation until a later time?" Paige asked me with patient eyes.

"No." I found myself quickly answering without a thought as I retracted my hands away from her.

"No?" Paige asked almost hurtfully. I could barely look into her eyes as I felt mine glistening with tears. I stood up abruptly and left Paige on the swing as I walked to the porch post, my back facing her as I steadied myself with a hand on the standing post.

"Do you know how much I love you? Do you _know_ that these past few days all I've been able to think about was how much I really love you? I don't understand these…_feelings_ that I've been having at all, and I thought I never would. But every time that I look into your eyes, I could see the answers to every single one of my questions. I thought maybe…I was just love-struck and…possibly still in the '_honeymoon _phase' of our relationship. But I realized recently that…it's more than that, Paige." I turned around to finally look at her as I leaned my back against rail of the newel posts and crossed my arms before I lowered my gaze to the ground. "I know deep inside…that you are the only one I'll ever feel this way about…because I don't think _anyone_ can feel this kind of love _twice_. And every time that I…touch you or…kiss you, I could only think about how much I _really_ love you. Sometimes…I find myself even wondering if I…love you _more_. Or if it'll always _be_ this way where I'll want you _more_ than you'll ever want me. I feel so…vulnerable…confused, and…_hurt _just thinking about it. I don't want to feel this way anymore Paige, to feel so insecure in my own feelings for you, _because of you_." I tried to wipe away the tears that had streamed down my face. I felt weak for not being able to hold it together, but finally, I had spoken my fears from these last few months out loud. I felt Paige's hand behind my neck as she pulled me into her and her other arm wrapped around my middle as she held my weeping form in her arms. I don't know how long I've cried for, but when I did stop, I noticed the silence between us again.

"I love you, Emily." Paige whispered into my hair as I felt her resting her chin atop my head before squeezing me tight. "_I'm sorry_." I heard her voice trembled as she apologized. "I _really_ love you too. I can't…_imagine _loving anyone else the way that I love you. I never thought that…you'd feel this way; that _I _made you feel this way. But I understand it. Once upon a time, Paige McCullers had craved for Emily Fields' love _more_ than she could ever give too." I heard her chuckle lightly right above me as I slowly pulled away but stayed in her arms when I met her brown eyes.

"It's been a while…and I thought maybe I still feel the same. I guess I don't have to stand around questioning any more that you love me in the same way that I want you to." Paige smiled and brought her hands up to wipe away my tears with her two thumbs.

"Are you serious?" I finally spoke as she chuckled and nodded.

"There's no one else for me either, Em. You _are_ my One too." Paige said with conviction.

"_Paige_…" I could only utter as she leaned in and captured my lips, kissing me with a passion I've grown so accustomed to over the last few months.

"Love is love. You can never measure the extent of how much someone can love you, Emily. Don't _ever_ for a second, from here on out, let that pretty little head of yours believe that I don't love you just as much as you love me. Because I did, I do, and _I will_…for as long as I am alive in your memories." Paige said to me when she pulled away from my lips.

"We'll talk marriage later then." I hesitantly said after a few minutes as I looked into her eyes. Paige nodded and I moved in and wrapped my arms around her as I rested my head against her shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around me too.

"Thank you." Paige whispered into my ear as I felt her place a kiss against my temple.

* * *

Paige was back at her house and unpacking for the last few days, and we hadn't seen much of each other after the conversation that night. I felt my heart dying a little knowing that she was pulling away from me again. I had done it. I finally did it, and I hated that this was the result of it. Had I been wrong to ask her? Was I overwhelming her from all the emotions that I felt about us? But she had told me that she felt the same way. Did she mean any of those words she said? If she had, then why was I sitting here _alone_ at our old high school's swimming pool and thinking about where our relationship was going?

I swung my feet back and forth lightly in the pool, and the water on the surface rippled in effect. It was so peaceful being here and not having to worry about being disturbed by anyone. My phone had gone off ringing so many times earlier this evening that I finally put it on silent and set it to the side. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts. I needed to rethink the words I've said and the ones I've heard from her.

I looked around the small natatorium, noticing that the walls have been repainted and the bleachers still looking a bit rusty from being used over the years. The diving blocks didn't seem to have changed much either, and the pool looked as blue as it's ever been. Funny how things around me have barely changed, yet I feel like a whole different person walking into here and remembering events like they had just happened yesterday. Paige and I spent so much time here in the midst of our teens. Practices, meets, and after school workouts took place in this very pool. Every other day, we'd arrive extra early with coffees in our hands and sitting by the bleachers, freely talking about what was on our minds and how classes were going along.

In that moment, I suddenly realized that Paige would always be a part of me. Everywhere I go and anything I see reminds me of her in this town, or any other place for that matter.

That scares me a little. Or maybe a lot.

I poured my heart into this…into her, and I've loved and lost her once before. Going back and doing this all over again with Paige, I just wanted to know that everything will be the same and that we can go back to how we used to be in the past. _So in love and carefree._ But that's just my wishful thinking from what I can see so far. I'm here, and she's somewhere out there in town. Something was quickly changing between us, and it happened because I brought up a big topic she probably hadn't even thought of until I spoke it out loud. I woke up today and when I turned onto my side, all I saw was an empty space where I used to watch her sleep and breathe. I was afraid, and today proved why I was. Today when I woke up and needed somebody the most, she wasn't there.

The wavering light at the bottom of the pool shined faintly at me, almost like it was trying to give me strength to stay strong even when I'm feeling afraid. I haven't completely lost faith in everything, but I can still make sense of what was quickly happening between Paige and I. That everything I believed in for the both of us had quickly turned into doubts, and things were about to change. I can feel it in my heart at this moment, and my feet trembles in the water as I try to regain a sense of security from being here, a place where I once belonged.

"It'll never be the same." I uttered to myself in disbelief. Closing my eyes, I rocked back and forth in place as I sat there with my feet dangling in the water, inhaling and exhaling deeply at the revelation.

"It's okay…to be afraid." the words somehow escaped my lips, and I trembled in the newfound strength of the moment.

_It's okay._

* * *

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N: I wrote most of this at 2-3am on late nights. For some reason, this wasn't an easy chapter for me to write, because I felt like I was struggling with Paige's feelings and thoughts. It really sucks when the shoe is on the other foot. lol I mean, I tried as best as I can to put myself in her shoes, and man, it was not one of the best feelings in the world. There are a few tender moments in this chapter that I really like and I had so much Paily feels while writing them, and I hope that you could feel them too as you're all reading. :) **

**Anyway, I'd like to thank you all for following and supporting this story for as long as you have. It's been quite a long journey for me. I could barely remember when it was yesterday that I had begun this story with 700+ words for the first chapter, not exactly knowing where this story was heading. I just wanted you all to know that I'm very grateful to still have readers for this story. I thought that after taking a long hiatus, I'd come back to an empty room, but of course you all are so wonderful and amazing for returning to read Before I Fall again. **

**I also want to take this moment to encourage some of you who are reading to start writing fanfics of your own on here. It's a very rewarding experience, that I can promise you. :) I feel like the Paily section of this fanfic site barely has any writers nowadays, and I'd like to extend the invite on behalf of the Paily community for people to begin writing. I started out as a reader myself, and after I had finished possibly every one of the Paily stories on here, I knew I wanted MORE and I decided to write to contribute to this fanfiction community. Giving back feels great, you guys. :) **

**I think I've covered most of the things I wanted to talk about. So, I really hope you all enjoy this update and have a wonderful day ahead. :) **

**Best,**

**Gloria **

* * *

**Paige's POV**

It was hard to fall asleep in my own bed again after spending the past few nights at Emily's. I was lying on my side and facing the bedroom door, and the thoughts inside my head wouldn't go away as they haunted me. I couldn't help but replay our conversation tonight repeatedly, feeling rather terrible that it had end the night on a less than positive note which I had not seen coming. The conversation we had would've played a pivotal role in our relationship, whether I had agreed to talk about marriage with Emily or not. Sighing at my own frustrations this late at night, I rolled over in bed and found Emily next to me. _Exactly where she's meant to be._

She was facing the other wall and curled in a fetal position. I lifted myself up and leaned on my elbow as I tried to reach over and pull the covers up over her shoulders. I saw Emily's tense body relaxed once the covers were pulled over her, and I smiled a bit at the small adorable motion she made even when she sleeps. I scooted further up the bed and sat against the headboard, staring at her loose messy bun on the pillow as she slept. Emily suddenly turned in her sleep, falling levelly onto her back and she let out a sigh as she rested her left cheek against the cozy pillow. She looked so angelic in her sleep, not at all conscious of the world around her, let alone my watchful eyes. I brushed the few strands of hair away from her closed eyelids and look fixedly at her face, my eyes wandering appreciatively over her stunning features as I did so. Even in her sleep, Emily unconsciously leaned into my touch, cuddling closer towards me as she let out a deep heavy sigh.

"Don't leave…" Emily said in her sleep and my eyes furrowed in confusion. _Was she having a bad dream?_

"Please…" Emily's voice held a level of desperation I'd heard only once before.

"I'm here." I found myself saying as I slithered down to lie next to Emily. I got under the covers and wrapped my arm around her, and Emily instantly moved closer towards me and into my waiting arms.

"I'm not going anywhere." I whispered as I placed a kiss at the top of her head and held her close to me.

Emily had stopped with the murmurs a few hours ago but I had ended staying up until I saw the first of the morning light. Throughout the entire night, I was afraid she'd fall into another nightmare, so I stayed up and watched over her just in case she needed some more comforting. I suddenly felt my eyelids drooping as I stared at Emily's face. Before I could even start counting sheep, the world began to drift away while I thought about my need for her love.

About my constant fear of losing her.

Moments like these when you feel so tired but you cannot sleep, and just when you least expect it to, it sweeps you off your feet and sends you into a world where fear only exist if you let it.

But of course, it was simply a parallel universe of the life you're living in.

* * *

"Hey, can we talk?" a voice I've come to known so well over the last few days emerged from behind me. I turned my head around and put my cup of coffee down along with the newspaper, wondering _why_ on God's green earth I was spoken to, when all I ever wanted was to enjoy this Sunday morning by myself in peace.

"Look Maya, I'm sorry for being a jerk the other day, but I'm _really_ not the person you should speak to if you want to talk about Emily." I gave her a thorough response before turning back around in my seat and reaching for my coffee. Maya suddenly appeared right in front of me, pulling out the chair from across the table and sat down without my invitation. "Oh, right, you're _so _welcome to take a seat, and feel free to take my coffee too if you like." I added dryly before letting out a sigh of exasperation.

"_I don't understand_. I tried speaking to her, but all I got was an earful of how bitchy I was for running off. I mean, I'm _really_ sorry for what I did and I've apologized, but what more could she want from me?" Maya ranted on as I stared at her in disbelief.

"Have you ever been left behind, Maya?" I finally asked after a full minute of silence between us. Maya shook her head slowly as a negative response, and I let out a sigh as I wondered how I could possibly explain to Maya about Emily's discontentment with her.

"Well, let's just say that when you _abandon_ someone, you not only leave them by themselves, but you also leave behind a trail of constant meltdowns, nights of endless tears, a damaged heart, and a broken soul." I said without a moment of my voice wavering. "She _loved_ you, and you broke her. Imagine a broken record repeating the same heartbroken song over and over about lost love. That was Emily for…_months_. She_ really_ loved you." I looked away as I acknowledged Emily's past feelings for Maya. "You didn't deserve her love. I don't know how she ever accepted yours, but you surely didn't deserve hers." I turned and looked back into her eyes, witnessing the sadness in her brown orbs as my words pierced through her heart.

"_I know_." Maya sighed as her shoulders sagged and she looked down at the table. "I spoke to her a few days ago… She could barely even look at me without feeling…" Maya paused and then shook her head before she brought her gaze back up with a determined look in her eyes. "You know what? Just _slap_ me." Maya said as she stood up and walked over to my side.

"_W-what!_" I said in disbelief as I looked up at her standing right before me. Maya pulled me up by my arms and I then stood up forcibly. I folded my arms across my chest and looked at her as though she was mad but she began to gesture with her hands again.

"Come on. Do it." Maya said as she stood there waiting for me to slap her.

"Are you out of your _mind_?" I exclaimed and my eyes widened as she took my hand and pulled it up next to her face.

"Do it for Emily." Maya said with a hard tone in her voice as my hand shook slightly in midair. I looked back and forth between my right hand that was sitting in-between us and Maya's face, and I couldn't decide if it was the most intelligent thing to do this early in the morning to start my day.

"Just do it." Maya said through gritted teeth as she began to stare me down.

"Or are you afraid I'll tell Emily what a _coward_ you really are?" Maya smiled smugly as she spoke. As soon as I saw her monstrous expression, my hand swung on its own accord and I smacked her face with a force so unimaginable, Maya stumbled a few steps back as she reached up a hand to hold the left side of her face. My hands quickly flew over my mouth and my eyes widened immediately as I realized what I had done, and before I could apologize to her, Maya raised her right hand up to stop me.

"_Don't._ Man, you got me good." Maya hissed in pain as she held her face in her hand. I noticed that everyone in the coffee shop was now staring at us, and I flushed with embarrassment from the unwanted attention. Maya smiled slightly but let out a shaky breath as she did so.

"You want some ice for that burn?" I laughed awkwardly as I stared at her slightly bruised face.

"No, but thanks." Maya said as she nodded at me. We stood there awkwardly, not moving and simply staring at each other in discomfort for a minute or so. Maya then let out a sigh before she stepped forward and held my full attention.

"Look, she loves you, I can see that pretty clearly." Maya rolled her eyes before she looked away and had this far distant look in her eyes. "I've been through a lot and I've seen enough to know that…when someone's seen the best of you _and_ the worst of you and they don't choose both, they don't love you at all. You can't really fall in love with a part of someone. You have to fall in love with them as a _whole_, or else you can't really love them at all." Maya turned and looked me in the eyes before a faint smile appeared upon her slightly bruised lips. "Don't ever be afraid to let her love you." she placed a hand briefly on my shoulder before she turned on her heels and began walking away. I watched as she walked out of the coffee shop with a thoughtful expression and the faint smile still on her face, and I felt oddly comforted by it. Once she was out of sight, I finally sat down in my seat and took in the words she had said.

_Don't ever be afraid to let her love you._

* * *

"You know, you really need to stop with this distant personality thing. I'm not even Emily and _I'm_ the one that wants to hold your head under the water." I heard Hanna's voice almost as I soon as my head surfaced from underwater.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I tried to catch my breath. Hanna was sitting on the edge of the pool, her feet dangling in the water as her yellow floral pattern summer dress lie bunched up beside her. Hairpins pulled back her hair on both sides and out of her face, and her features were covered in a decent amount of makeup, but not too much to cover her natural beauty. As for why she was sitting there in her bikini and leaning back onto her hands, I had the slightest suspicion what her purpose being here was.

"Keeping you company. You said we can hang out whenever, remember?" Hanna asked as she looked genuinely interested in my companionship.

"Okay… What is your _real _reason for being here?" I laughed as I propped both hands onto the edge and lifted myself out of the pool with ease. I sat beside Hanna and extract the water out of my hair, and saw her watching me while the water trickled down my body and trailing a few paths back into the pool, although some did ended on the concrete pavement.

"Why are you avoiding, Em?" Hanna asked as she threw her head back and looked up at the sky, a hand coming up to cover her eyes as the sun shined down too brightly for her eyes to instantly adjust to.

"I'm not." I simply answered and let out a small sigh. "Well, if I did, I hadn't mean to. I'm not _trying _to avoid her." I explained while lightly kicking my legs back and forth in the water, splashing some of it onto Hanna's legs.

"What happened?" Hanna questioned as she finally look back down and over at me. I caught her eyes and saw confusion clouding them.

"Choir singing, bells ringing, and… _Oh God,_ you should've seen the look in her eyes." I groaned as I closed my eyes and brought my hands up to cover them with my palms as I bent over.

"Okay, you're not making any sense." Hanna said pointedly while her face scrunched up from being furthermore confused by my confession when I took my hands away and looked at her.

"I'm at a loss for words, really." I said as I looked back at the pool. I felt Hanna's hand on my shoulder, probably to comfort me, and I smiled a bit and felt grateful she was here with me. "She…wanted to talk about marriage. I…" I shut one of my eyes as I bit down on my bottom lip.

"Oh my god, you totally freaked out on her!" Hanna jumped in as she raised both hands up to cover her mouth. I opened my mouth to say something to that, but words wouldn't come out and I just stopped trying the third time I attempted to explain myself. Hanna reached over and slapped my right upper arm, and I winced and yelped in pain, glaring at her as she scowled back at me.

"And you've been avoiding her? _Paige!_ That's _so_ not the right move." Hanna shook her head at me in disappointment while her stare never wavered as she did so.

"What was I supposed to do? Go buy a ring and ask her to _marry_ me?" I asked in disbelief as my hands flung wildly in the air when I questioned her.

"_No,_ but you can at least let the girl down easy. You know how sensitive Emily is, so fix it." Hanna stared at me unimpressed as she folded her arms across her chest.

"Oh yeah, and how am I supposed to do that?" I crossed _my _arms across my chest as I turned and looked at her expectantly.

"You call her at 2AM and tell her that you love her, and it's been bothering you for days but – "

"Why 2AM?" I asked but got a disgruntled look instead of an answer.

"Will you let me finish?" Hanna asked exasperatedly as she rolled her eyes and I nodded my head slowly in compliance with her request. "Okay, you tell her it's been bothering you for days and you can't stop thinking about it, because it's killing you inside knowing that marriage is what she want and the thing is you need more time. You tell her all you want to do is hold her in your arms and make everything better again. Then you ask if you can come over, climb through her bedroom window, and hold her until she falls asleep. Got it?" Hanna asked. I looked at her with incredulity, wondering if she was actually joking about the last part.

"I think I'd rather get her a ring…and then ask her to hold on to it for me until I'm ready to ask her to marry me." I admitted and proposed the idea to Hanna. She looked at me for a second with a thoughtful expression, and when she finally began to nod slightly as she observed me, I let out a small sigh of relief.

"Good, because I tried climbing through her window once, and the grass _failed_ to cushion my fall." I laughed in embarrassment as Hanna smiled knowingly my way.

"Whatever you do, Emily better be smiling the next time I see her, _or else_." Hanna threatened as her eyes went over to the pool and then quickly return to mine.

"So are you going to suntan on my lawn or race me in the water?" I asked even though anyone could already guess the answer. But before Hanna could even respond, I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the water with me and I laughed when we both surfaced our heads above the water.

"Oh no, you didn't!" Hanna screamed as she slapped the surface of the water, splashing everywhere around herself.

"_Oh yeah._ I _totally _did." I smiled triumphantly before I swam as fast as I could away from Hanna's desperate grabbing hands when she began front crawling towards me.

Hanna sure was sweet company when one needed a friend.

* * *

A few days after Hanna had stopped by, I had swayed back and forth between the decisions of going over to see Emily or calling her to come to my place. In the end, I spent most of my time by the pool thinking about the many decisions I've already made in my life that led me to this very moment. I suppose I was stalling for more time, because in my heart, I felt I was going down that road again.

Footsteps stopped my wild running thoughts, and I turned my head and looked over my right shoulder to find a pair of long tanned legs walking towards me. My eyes ran slowly up the body I've gotten to known so well over the course of the last few months, and I smiled as I recognized the familiar outfit minus the single hat.

_The bike's rear wheel continued to spin as I checked to see if the freewheel worked correctly after I had just changed it and greased the bearings. _

"_Hey," I heard Emily's voice out of the blue, feeling a bit surprise that I hadn't heard her footsteps coming my way before she got so near. I looked over to my left instantly from where I was crouching down near my bike and saw her coming towards me. She was wearing a pair of cutoff shorts and a light pink and white striped baby tank that barely covered her white spaghetti strapped bra underneath. If she wasn't already considered adorable then, the hat she was donning and the pair of blue plain Vans with no lace had finished the cuteness of her outfit to a tee._

"_I rung the doorbell," she breathed while she stared at me with a bit of uncertainty in her voice. _

"_My folks are in Scranton," I explained as I finally looked up at her and into her eyes. _

"_I haven't seen you at school." Emily brought her hands together and I saw her shoulders lifted a little in tension. _

"_I missed a few days." I said as I looked down for a moment but then lifted my head back up to stare at her again._

"_Are you okay?" Emily asked with concern coloring the tone of her voice. I noticed the slight movement of her hands and saw them going into her jeans' front pockets, and I felt myself looking down again before I began to stand up and then brought my eyes back to her._

"_I felt pretty bad for a while," I admitted and my brows furrowed a bit when I saw that she still had a slight frown on her face even though she nodded in understanding. "But I'm better now." I assured Emily as I looked her straight in the eyes. It was barely a second and she looked away to the side, crossing her arms and looking quite uneasy as she stood in front of me._

"_Okay, we – we have to talk about this." Emily gestured with one of her hands as she took a step closer even though her eyes were now glued to the ground and not looking straight at me. _

"_No, we don't." I said to spare the both of us the confrontation as I took a tiny step back from her. _

"_You got sick because you drank from my flask." Emily said pointedly as she now looked me straight in the eyes. "I have to explain how that happened, or at least try to explain," she continued while her eyes glanced away momentarily before coming back to me. _

"_We can forget about the whole thing. Honestly, I'm – " I try to say before I was cut off by no other but Emily Fields. _

"_You deserve to know the truth. Can we go someplace and talk?" she asked desperately while I begin to take into account of Emily's close proximity to me. I looked down momentarily, not knowing what to do, and then lifted my gaze off the ground again before I look her in the eyes to respond. _

"_I can't today." I said even though I didn't have any plans for the day. I wasn't ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. _

"_Tomorrow? After school?" Emily kept pressing on and I leaned my head back a bit while rolling my eyes at how insistent she was being. I looked down and was about to give her a negative response when she spoke again._

"_Please." her voice strained as she begged me and I looked up then into her eyes, breathing out a breath of disbelief. I looked down at the ground again and started shaking my head slightly, not knowing why but knew instantly that I was about to give into her plea._

"_Okay." I found myself reluctantly saying while I felt the wind blow into the side of my face, lifting a few strands of my hair into the air. Emily nodded slightly and I saw the relief in her eyes before she lowered her gaze down to the ground. _

"_Okay." she breathed as she looked me in the eyes for merely one second before tearing her gaze away. Emily nodded one last time to confirm our meeting, and she turned around and began walking away. I stared at her retreating figure leaving my backyard, and after a few seconds, I tore my eyes away from her and bent down to look at my bike again, trying to tell myself that I couldn't stare at her in the way that I had._

_It was wrong._

_The paddings of Emily's footsteps on the grass echoed in my ears as she walked away, and I didn't even dare to look up to see how far she's gone. When the echoes stopped, I spun the rear wheel of my bike again, watching it spin round and round as my mind begin running in circles too. _

_Ready or not, Emily wanted to talk._

_But will she catch me again if she knows how hard I've fallen for her? _

"I rung the doorbell." the familiar words snapped me out of my little daze of how I've once experienced a similar situation.

"My folks are in Scranton." I chuckled when I saw a small smile appear on her face. Emily carefully walked over to me and sat about half a foot or so away from me by the pool as she criss-cross her legs and leaned forward to rest her forearms on her legs.

"I haven't seen you…in a while." Emily spoke softly and I looked over to see her facing the pool and away from me. _A while_ meant a long time in both our books, and she knew that I know what she meant by it.

"I know, and I'm sorry." I watched as she slowly turned her head around to look at me, but her body was still facing away. Emily looked intensely into my eyes, and I felt mine soften as one of her hands slowly crept over and placed atop mine.

"I missed you." Emily smiled sadly as she looked down and gently caressed the back of my hand. I turned my hand over and entwined our fingers, watching as the sunlight danced in her hair and gave it a beautiful shade in the sun.

"I missed you too." I ran my thumb lightly over the space between her index finger and thumb.

"Then why have you been avoiding me?" Emily's question was filled with sadness and hurt. I let out a small sigh at that and scooted closer to her, letting go of her hand as I wrapped my left arm around her shoulders and pulled her into me. Emily laid her head on my shoulder and I heard her shaky breaths as she breathed, and I took her hand that I had released earlier into my right hand. Emily covered my hand with both of hers as she cradled it lovingly in her hands, and it made me smile slightly at that.

"I was scared." I whispered as I looked at the pool that lay before us. I could imagine what that must've felt like to be in her shoes. I remember feeling that way back in high school after Emily and I agreed to be friends at the Masquerade Ball, but I never heard from her until I passed through the courtyard on the way to class one day.

"Scared of what?" Emily spoke softly as she re-entwined our hands.

"About what happens." I answered and felt her shift a little in my left arm. "Today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, ten years from now…" I trailed off while Emily lifted her head off my shoulder to face me. "The many sunsets I've yet to see with you." I smiled as I looked up into the sky and squinted as the sun shined brightly in my vision. I felt one of Emily's hands moving away from mine and the next moment, I felt it on my face, caressing me in possibly the gentlest way another human being could ever touch me. I turned back to look into her eyes and I found love within them, holding and telling me that I cannot just stand by and let our love wither away like this.

"Emily," I whispered as I felt myself getting lost in her beautiful brown orbs. "I can't deny that you are the love of my life." After taking in a deep breath, I closed my eyes then and watched as the images of the both of us together pass me by behind my eyelids. "No matter what happens, just know that every day that I spend with you will always be the best days of my life." Tears trickled down my face and begin streaming slowly as I reopened my eyes. Emily's intense gaze pierced through me, and I saw the sadness from before that had now reached her eyes.

"I love you." I said as my hand travelled from the other side of her shoulder to her neck. Slowly, I leaned in and my gaze lowered to her lips for a second before coming back up to watch the emotions swirling in her eyes. She was staring at me with the same sad orbs, and I couldn't help but want to make it simply disappear. Emily closed her eyes then as my lips touched the corner of her mouth and lingered there for a few seconds before I pulled back slightly and moved upward to press a kiss onto her forehead. I felt Emily's hand sliding down from my cheek to my neck, down to my shoulder, and making its way along my arm before I felt her cradle my hand with both of hers again. I leaned my forehead against hers and she kept her eyes closed, and a single tear spilled as she let out a breath she must've been holding in.

"I love you too." Emily whispered into the space between us before I found myself smiling faintly at her words. I closed my eyes as I took in the moment that had happened, and I wondered why I'd been so silly to react the way I did.

Nothing compares to Emily being here by my side.

I mean, I went under and she followed, not even thinking about a tomorrow of her own. No one has ever dove in headfirst for me the way she did. No one has loved me the way she does.

No one.

"_You're perfect_..." I spoke into the cool air between us before I opened my eyes to find hers and found her looking right back at me.

"_For me_." Emily finished when I had held my breath.

_For me._

* * *

**Disclaimers: I do not own Pretty Little Liars. **


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